Many say living the Way is difficult.
Is sleeping difficult?
Serenity Vikram Singh Khalsa
is trying to attack Tyr.)
TYR: Again! Harder!
(He takes hold of her arm.)
TYR: Stop. Watch. The punch should begin at the soles of your feet and
end at the back of your opponent's skull.
(He hits a punch bag with a yell.)
TRANCE: Well, I don't want to hurt you.
TYR: Let me worry about that.
TRANCE: Okay. Hi ho!
(Her kick lands on Tyr's chest with no obvious effect, and she falls
TYR: What was that?
TRANCE: Well, you told me to choose a ki-yay, a sharp exhalation to
focus energy and intimidate the opponent.
TYR: And you chose hi ho?
TRANCE: Is that a bad one?
TYR: You might want to choose another, unless you intend to
incapacitate your opponents with laughter.
TRANCE: Okay. Um. All right, I've got one. Ready? Hee haw!
(Trance's kick misses completely this time. She falls and rolls
forward, knocking Tyr off his feet. Trance bounces up and down in
TRANCE: Hee haw! Hee haw! Hee haw!
surfer is on the viewscreen.)
MAN [OC]: Otur, shooting the curl.
BEKA: Yee haw! Way to go, Harper!
HUNT: I thought Harper was refitting our G-array on Mitner Drift.
BEKA: Yeah, he was. He took a detour on the way back. Infinity Atoll.
HUNT: He flew all the way to Infinity just to go surfing?
BEKA: Just? It's the Pan-Galactic Surfing Championships.
HUNT: Do the words absent without leave mean anything to you people?
HUNT: How's he doing?
BEKA: As of last Tuesday, forty eighth place.
HUNT: That doesn't sound so good.
BEKA: Out of ten thousand entries.
HUNT: There are ten thousand insane surfers out there?
BEKA: And ours is one of the craziest.
BEM: Dylan, Beka, we're receiving a distress call. It's from a Wayist
courier ship, the Om Shonti.
HUNT: Andromeda, on screen. Take us in.
KHALSA [on screen]: Andromeda, this is the Om Shonti. We have been
attacked and are severely damaged. Our slipstream drive is inoperable.
We need immediate assistance. I say again, this is the Om Shonti
hailing the Andromeda Ascendant.
BEM: Serenity Khalsa?
HUNT: You know him?
BEM: Mmm. Vikram Singh Khalsa, a great man, revered among Wayists.
Dylan, we must save him.
HUNT: That's the plan. Beka, deploy the grapples. Andromeda, maximum
velocity to intercept. Rev Bem, tell them we're on our way.
brings the Om Shonti into her hangar bay. Hunt and Bem run in as the
doors open and a young man is helping Khalsa to walk.)
RAFE: Help, someone. The Serenity needs a doctor.
HUNT: Is anyone else on board?
HUNT: Rommie, get Trance down here, now.
HUNT: You two know each other?
BEKA: You could say that. Dylan Hunt, meet Raphael Valentine, my
is on an anti-grav stretcher.)
HUNT: Andromeda, vitals.
ANDROMEDA: Radiation levels normal. Respiration depressed, and heart
rate accelerated. There are some odd discrepancies.
BEM: We must save him. The Serenity is a light among Wayists. A
philosopher, a teacher, a peacemaker.
TRANCE: And a human, which means that patching him up is easy as cake.
HUNT: Easy as pie.
TRANCE: Are you sure about that? I think that making pie is a lot
harder than cake.
HUNT: Just fix him, Trance.
TRANCE: Oh, he'll be fine. Compared to baking, brain surgery is a snap.
holds Rafe back as Bem, Hunt and Trance push the stretcher into
BEKA: We'd better wait here.
RAFE: Is there somewhere quiet I can go to pray for His Serenity's
BEKA: Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
RAFE: No, I never joke about prayer.
BEKA: I give up. You look like Rafe, you sound like Rafe, you sure as
hell aren't acting like any Valentine I know. So who are you, and what
have you done with my brother?
RAFE: Rocket, I really have changed.
BEKA: No one's called me Rocket since dad died.
RAFE: I pray for him every day, you know.
BEKA: Damn. I'd forgotten how good you are.
RAFE: Good? What do you mean? Good at what?
BEKA: The scam. The con. When Rafe Valentine gets into character, he
goes all the way. Marks don't stand a chance.
RAFE: This isn't a con. I really have found the Way.
BEKA: Yeah. The way into Khalsa's bank account. You can drop the act.
Nobody here but us Valentines.
RAFE: Beka, I've lied, I've cheated, I've caused you pain, but I swear.
I swear, I've changed.
BEKA: I've changed, I swear. Where have I heard that before? Oh, yeah,
it was the time that you joined that Vedran commune and stole all their
farm equipment. Oh no, I remember, it was the time that you took off
with that neo-hippy chick. What were you going to do, save trees or
something? I bet you made a fortune in lumber.
RAFE: I deserve that, and more. Tell you what, just for today, you
watch what I do, and you decide. You tell me if I'm the same old Rafe,
or if I indeed have turned over a new leaf.
Inch of ligament, touch of nerve tissue.
BEM: Trance, please, quickly.
KHALSA: Stop. What are you doing?
BEM: Serenity, please, we're here to help you. This is Trance Gemini.
She's going to inject nanobots to repair your injuries.
KHALSA: No, that is completely unnecessary. Divine compassion is my
medicine. The universe is my healer.
TRANCE: Trust me. Nanobots are much more reliable.
BEM: No, Trance, please, leave him. I apologise, Serenity. I did not
realise you were committed to the Mountain Path.
TRANCE: The What Path?
BEM: The Mountain Path is the purest and most demanding form of Wayism.
Complete and utter acceptance of everything the universe presents, even
sickness, even death.
KHALSA: If the universe has no further use of this shell, who am I to
TRANCE: Yes, but what if I am an instrument of the Divine? Then who are
you to refuse my treatment?
KHALSA: Little girl, you would debate a dying man?
TRANCE: Yes, but you're not dying.
KHALSA: Good. Then stop hovering over me with your needles. What manner
of adventure have you in store for me today?
runs his hands along a railing.)
RAFE: She's magnificent. Awe-inspiring.
ANDROMEDA: Why, thank you.
RAFE: Captain Hunt, I can't thank you enough for answering our call,
for saving His Serenity.
HUNT: You're welcome. Maybe you can fill me in on what happened. Who
was trying to kill you?
BEKA: This time.
RAFE: I wish I knew. They came out of nowhere. Never said a word, just
started firing on us. I was taking His Serenity to peace talks with the
BEKA: Er, eco-terrorists. They came out of nowhere about three years
ago, and they've been devastating the space lanes ever since.
RAFE: The Restorians say it's bad enough to despoil your own planet,
but space travel encourages colonisation, and colonisation damages
indigenous cultures, and exterminates native ecology. They can't allow
HUNT: And they're going to stop it by blowing up starships?
BEKA: Well, according to their logic, if you can't get from one planet
to another, you can't screw up anything but your own back yard.
Shockingly, a lot of people find their methods a little extreme.
RAFE: Especially the Free Trade Alliance. They've been having talks
about mounting a major campaign against the Restors. Singh Khalsa was
trying to bring both sides to negotiate.
HUNT: But someone didn't want the meeting to take place.
BEKA: Ten guilders on the eco-terrorists. The FTA would never shoot at
anything when they could just tax it to death.
HUNT: We'll take you to your meeting.
BEKA + RAFE: We/You will?
HUNT: The Restorians are shooting at starships. We are on a starship.
Peace talks sound like a good thing.
Hello, Tyr. Have you come to join me in meditation?
TYR: Meditation is for weak people with troubled minds. Is your mind
BEM: You have an interesting way of starting a philosophical
TYR: Save the sophistry for Dylan. I don't have the time. When the Om
Shonti hailed us, they asked for us by name. How did they know where we
BEM: I presume you have a theory.
TYR: You gave the Wayists our location.
BEM: Of course. The Andromeda and the Wayists have many common goals.
Informing the Way of our mission has obvious advantages.
TYR: Just not so obvious that you bothered to inform Dylan, or me.
BEM: Perhaps I was too indiscriminant with my colleagues.
TYR: So, you expect me to believe that this was all just an oversight?
BEM: I don't expect you to believe anything. Now if we're through, I'd
like to get back to my troubled mind.
TYR: Tread carefully, Wayist. I don't like surprises. And, I suspect,
neither does Dylan.
So, your brother's a, er, brother.
BEKA: If Rafe Valentine's a monk, I'm a Vestal virgin.
HUNT: You don't think his arrival here was an accident.
BEKA: Andromeda, how many sentients are there in this sector of the
ANDROMEDA [OC]: Two hundred and twenty three billion, approximately.
BEKA: And he just stumbles into us. Valentines don't play long shots.
HUNT: Tell you what, while I check up on Singh Khalsa, you keep an eye
BEKA: I always keep an eye on Rafe, and the other eye on the
This is the rad signature of the Om Shonti, and this is the radiation
tag from the stealth destroyer that attacked us at Rho Capricornus.
TYR: They're identical.
ROMMIE: As you suspected.
TYR: So, we were forced into a sun and bathed in radiation by Restors.
ROMMIE: Who'd rather destroy themselves than be captured.
TYR: Or identified, I suppose. Good. Our enigmatic foe has a name.
Let's see if he has a face. Start scanning the sector database for any
reference to Restors and work outward, hmm?
enters and draws her weapon. Rafe is looking at a CD.)
BEKA: Drop it! Your day's up, big brother. I've killed men for stealing
RAFE: You just say that to scare them. Besides, I'm not stealing it,
I'm returning it.
BEKA: Give me that. I was wondering where this one went.
RAFE: I took it the last time I was on the Maru. I know a Nightsider
who pays huge for museum quality finds like that. But then I remembered
what you did to get it and, well, it's not much, but I want to start
BEKA: So this is supposed to convince me that you got religion?
RAFE: The Way is not exactly a religion. It's more of a really wide
road. It's like the Eightfold path, the Twelve steps, the Ten
BEKA: Okay, give it up, Rafe. What are you doing here, and why did you
track me down.
RAFE: I didn't track you down. I didn't even know you were on this
BEKA: Oh, so this is all just a big coincidence?
RAFE: Miracles do happen.
RAFE: Listen, Rocket, you've caught some really bad breaks. Probably
the worst of it is being stuck with me. I'm going to make it up to you.
BEKA: I'm not the one you needed to make it up to. I never was.
RAFE: Right. Dad.
BEKA: You didn't even come to his funeral.
RAFE: I couldn't stand to see him that way. I couldn't stand what he'd
done to himself.
BEKA: What he'd done to himself? Rafe, what about what you did to him?
You were his heart, and you left. It broke him.
RAFE: You're right. There's nothing I can do about it now, but for what
it's worth, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for him, I'm sorry for you, I'm sorry
reviewing pages of information on the viewscreen. They are not in
HUNT: Next. Next. Next.
HUNT: They're good. The Restors are waging guerilla war on the space
lanes, but somehow they manage to stay completely anonymous.
BEKA: You know, I've been thinking. What if this is exactly what it
looks like? A peace mission, a few rogue terrorists.
HUNT: You want to trust him, don't you?
BEKA: Rafe said he didn't know I was here. I think I believe him. He
apologised to me. Rafe Valentine has never apologised to anyone for
anything in his life, until now. I mean, if Wayism can turn a born
killer like Rev Bem into a monk, maybe it can really change my brother.
HUNT: Hey, I'm three hundred and forty two years old. Anything's
ANDROMEDA: Initiating departure, hangar number two.
HUNT: Hangar two? Rommie, what's going on?
ANDROMEDA: Rafe Valentine is launching the Eureka Maru.
BEKA: What? Under whose authorisation?
BEKA: He's stealing the Maru.
HUNT: Andromeda, plot a pursuit course.
BEKA: No. He's my brother, he's my problem. Andromeda, ready a
slipfighter in hangar four.
HUNT: You don't have to do this by yourself.
BEKA: Yeah. I do.
puts down a tray with an elegant metal teapot and two glasses.)
BEM: Serenity? Trance made this for you. Angel's Tears from Gehenna.
She assures me it has no medicinal value.
KHALSA: That is very kind of her.
BEM: May I ask you a personal question?
KHALSA: The universe loves questions.
BEM: It concerns Rafe Valentine. What do you really know about your
KHALSA: That he is a headstrong and impulsive young man. But you
probably figured that out for yourself.
BEM: You have given quite a position of trust to someone with his
KHALSA: Yes. It's fun, isn't it? I get to watch his higher and lower
natures do battle on a daily basis.
KHALSA: But if you're asking if he will return with your friend's ship,
I hope so. I would like him beside me at the meeting.
BEM: Yes, with the terrorists.
KHALSA: Restorians. One man's terrorist is another man's freedom
BEM: You sympathise with their cause?
KHALSA: Let's just say that I empathise. Have you seen Krendar Four
lately? Oh, it's a blue green gem of a world rendered uninhabitable.
Air you can't breathe, water you can't drink, and for what, corporate
BEM: Yes, but to blow starships out of the sky? The arrogance, the
KHALSA: The alternative? The universe is a precious gift. We must not
showing Trance a console.)
HUNT: And this gives you the operational data for
TYR: He stole that rattletrap ship of hers? I believe I'm beginning to
TRANCE: Tyr, you don't mean that.
TYR: Yes, I do. It's the first self-motivated act I've seen around here
in months. And now, may I suggest that we drop that insipid swami,
Serenity Khalsa, off at the next Drift and make a graceful exit before
someone starts shooting at us.
HUNT: You know I can't do that.
TYR: No. No, of course not, because, and let me see if I've got this
down, our alliance with the Wayists etcetera, etcetera, reuniting the
Systems Commonwealth and so on, and so forth, enhancing our reputation
as peacemakers, ad nauseum. Am I close?
HUNT: Reasonably, yes.
TYR: Don't you ever get tired of it? Trying over and over again to help
people who couldn't care less about you in the name of a cause that's
been dead for three hundred years.
TRANCE: You take that back.
TRANCE: Because Dylan is our Captain, Because he's saved our lives
dozens of times, because if you don't then I'm going to hit you.
TYR: Don't forget to hee haw.
(Trance starts a run up.)
HUNT: It's okay. Tyr's right.
TRANCE: He is?
HUNT: Yes. It does get frustrating, fighting so many losing battles,
but I never expected anything different. I'm trying to erase three
hundred years of chaos and corruption. I'm not going to win every time.
But when we do win, it's
going to be big, big news. So if I were you, I'd stick around. It's
going to be an amazing ride.
slipfighter docks with the Maru at a Drift.)
BEKA: Rafe! Rafe, get out here and take it like a man. Rafe? Damn it.
Ground control, this is Eureka Maru. Do you read?
(A Perseid monk answers.)
PERSEID [on monitor]: Welcome, my child. How can we serve you?
BEKA: Who's we? Where am I?
PERSEID [on monitor]: You are at Starlight and Still Water, a monastery
of the Way.
walks past the open door to hear Rommie arguing with her holographic
HOLO-ROMMIE: You can't get from KL Fourteen to here in six jumps, and
you know it. You can't do it in fifteen.
ROMMIE: But there's no reason for them to lie about their point of
HOLO-ROMMIE: All the more reason to be suspicious.
HUNT: Talking to yourself is the first sign of mental collapse.
HOLO + ROMMIE: Only for wet-ware.
HUNT: So, what are you two talking about?
ROMMIE: The Om Shonti. I've tested and re-tested their slipstream
drive. There's no good reason for her not to fly. Plus, I found some
HUNT: Curiouser and curiouser. Good work. Keep checking.
rings a wind chime.)
BEKA: Ding dong. Anyone home?
PERSEID: You wish to see our brother?
BEKA: My brother, yeah.
PERSEID: Please, sit. He's meeting with his spiritual advisor. I will
bring him to you when he's finished.
BEKA: How long do you think it'll be?
PERSEID: How troubled is his spirit?
Brother, I offer my will to you. Please accept this burden, the good
and bad of me. It's been six weeks since I've had so much as a beer.
And if that purple chick hands me one more cup of tea, I'm going to
pour it down her throat.
(Rafe removes his robe.)
DANYLUK: Is your cover still holding?
RAFE: Of course. My own sister thinks I'm a real monk.
DANYLUK: Good. Then phase two shall be easy. How complete is your
access to the ship?
RAFE: Pretty much got the run of the place, except the engineering
decks and the weapons lockers.
DANYLUK: We only need you on the Command deck. This is an EMP trigger
device. It'll read completely invisible to the Andromeda's sensors, at
least until it blows her to pieces.
RAFE: That wasn't part of the original plan.
DANYLUK: Plans change.
RAFE: If this goes off, it'll blow Andromeda out of the sky, and kill
everyone with her.
DANYLUK: The Andromeda is an abomination, and her crew expendable.
RAFE: You know what? This isn't fun any more. I think I'm done playing.
DANYLUK: This is not a game! You don't get to pick up your ball and go
home. Someone named Valentine is going to die. Be thankful you at least
get to decide which one.
pilots the Maru away from the Drift. Rafe is back in his monk's gown.)
BEKA: You are really something, Valentine, you know that? You steal my
ride and run straight to confession. Oh, I'm sorry, had you wanted to
say a blessing before we hit the road?
RAFE: You think that's really funny, don't you? Do you ever think about
RAFE: The life we used to live, the buzz, the hustle. Do you ever miss
BEKA: Oh, sometimes. And then I think about dumping payload to outrun
an FTA bounty hunter, and somehow I don't miss it so much any more.
RAFE: We don't have to go back to the Andromeda, you know. We can just
take off. Valentine smart, Valentine smarter. Marks won't know what hit
BEKA: Now you sound like the old Rafe.
RAFE: Well, the thing is, I'm kind of having second thoughts about this
whole Wayism deal. Call it a crisis of faith. Come on, you understand.
BEKA: Rafe, please don't do this. You know, I'm just starting to buy
into this whole Wayism thing, and to be honest it looks good on you.
For once in my life, I'm actually proud of something you're doing. Just
do me a favour. See it through the end this time.
Welcome back. How was your trip?
(Khalsa enters, leaning heavily on his crook of office.)
KHALSA: So, the lamb has returned to the fold.
RAFE: Serenity, you're up. Blessed be.
KHALSA: I was afraid you would miss the consummation of our vital
mission. Come. Help a sick man back to his room, and tell me all about
your impulsive trip.
lounging in the pilot's seat and Bem reading a flexi when Hunt enters.
Bem hides the flexi when Hunt walks up to him.)
HUNT: As you were. So, Rev, what's our top story tonight?
BEM: Beka and Rafe are a lot alike, don't you think?
HUNT: I think all humans look alike to you.
TYR: They look like lunch.
BEM: I spent this morning debating the kabbalah with his Serenity. It's
not smart to make fun of a Magog with a migraine. And I think it's
going to get worse.
HUNT: Are you going to show that flexi to me or not?
BEM: I am sure there's a good explanation.
(He hands the flexi to Dylan.)
TYR: Shall I escort him to V deck?
HUNT: No. Not yet.
(The flexi shows Rafe and his hippy chick in front of a banner that
says You're Raping My Planet.)
HUNT: Her brother, her problem.
It's a god damn Restor rally. That's you and your hippie chick
girlfriend at a Restor rally. You're one of them!
RAFE: No. No, I swear. Okay, maybe. Look, it's not what you think.
BEKA: It better not be.
RAFE: Beka, this is Danni the, what'd you call her, the neo-hippie? She
was into all this stuff. I just sort of tagged along.
BEKA: Tagged along? Do better.
RAFE: I sold them some stuff.
BEKA: You ran guns for them, didn't you? You ran guns for the Restors.
Do you have any idea who you're dealing with? These people are
RAFE: Oh, Beka, you don't understand.
BEKA: Don't understand, my ass! You're still one of them, aren't you?
This is all a trick. You are here working for the Restors. You're a
Restor spy. Say it!
RAFE: No! I'm an FTA spy. I work for the Free Trade Alliance under
cover. Singh Khalsa is a Restor, and if I don't stop him, he's going to
kill everybody on this ship.
BEKA: No more cons, Rafe. Rev Bem knows all about Singh Khalsa. He's
some Wayist big shot.
RAFE: The real Singh Khalsa is, but he's dead.
BEKA: Talk faster.
RAFE: You were right about the gun-running. There was a bush war on
Calliope. I lucked into some leftovers. It was sweet. But then I met
Danni. Beka, she wasn't like the rest. She, she wouldn't hurt a fly.
BEKA: What then, you started smuggling leaflets?
RAFE: Danni and her friends would raise money for the cause and funnel
it back to me.
BEKA: And you used it to buy weapons. Raked in a little off the top,
too, I don't doubt.
RAFE: That's not it at all. Danni really believed in what she was
doing. Beka, I have never believed in anything my whole life. Do you
know what that's like, to meet somebody who, who. Do you know how
powerful that is?
BEKA: I can imagine.
RAFE: Well, then they killed her. It was the dumbest protest you ever
heard of. They chained themselves to a terraformer. The damn thing was
bigger than this ship. The whole company was just laughing at them,
until some Restor commando started a firefight. She couldn't even run
away. I had to cut her down with a steel punch.
BEKA: Oh, Rafe.
[OC]: So, it seems that Khalsa's an imposter. Maru out.
HUNT: Tyr, I want you to arrange new accommodations for our Mister
Khalsa. Something on V deck.
TYR: Thank you, Captain Hunt.
What Nietzsche forgot is that god is just a nickname for the universe.
The all that was, is, and ever will be. Tell me, how does that die?
TYR: You can drop the act. We know who you are.
KHALSA: Oh, you're wrong about that, my friend. Not only do you not
know who I am, you don't know what I am. Shall I show you?
(Khalsa opens his mouth and tips his head back. Nanobots stream out and
the empty gown falls to the floor as Tyr runs away.)
TRANCE: What's going on? Andromeda?
ANDROMEDA [OC]: Trance, I've been infected with nanobots. Defences are
overwhelmed. They're replicating like, like
TRANCE: Andromeda, are you there?
BEM: We're under attack. Take us into slipstream, now.
(Bem takes the pilot's seat. Everything dies.)
TRANCE: Oh, no.
ANDROMEDA: Reactors offline. Switching to emergency power.
(The tactical display comes on.)
BEM: Restors, one point two AU out. At that speed, they'll be on top of
us in less than an hour.
TRANCE: Rommie. Rommie, please wake up. Rommie!
(A little later.)
BEM: Life support is stable, thank the Divine, and we have emergency
power, but everything else is in meltdown.
TRANCE: If Harper were here, he'd be able to put this nav-board)
together with two paper clips and a kiss. Of course, Harper's surfing.
(Tyr runs in and grabs Trance.)
TYR: You, come with me! Come on! Move! Go! Go! Go!
What is going on? Andromeda? Rommie?
(Hunt meets them at an intersection and grabs Rafe.)
HUNT: What have you done to my ship?
RAFE: I don't know what you're talking about.
HUNT: It's not that complicated. One more time, what have you done to
RAFE: Nothing! I haven't done any
HUNT: Wrong answer.
(Hunt gets out his forcelance.)
BEKA: Dylan, don't! He's not one of them. He's working under cover for
HUNT: You're a spy for the Free Trade Alliance.
HUNT: Does this mean there's an FTA cavalry over the ridge riding to
HUNT: Then it's a difference that makes no difference. We're still
dead. You've killed us. Unless, unless you do exactly as I say.
Trance are running.)
TYR: Come on! Move!
TRANCE: Where are we going?
TYR: Life support override. If we can vent the atmosphere, we can
eliminate half the nanobots.
TYR: Down! The automated defence system's activated!
(They hide behind crates as Andromeda's lasers try to zap
TYR: The doors! Go!
(Trance slides through the closing doors while Tyr somersaults to
I know, I know. Move.
Restor fleet is closing.)
BEM: Again, this is the Andromeda Ascendant. Please identify yourself
and state your purpose. Awaiting response. Over.
(Dylan and Beka enter.)
HUNT: Any of your prayers been answered, Rev?
BEM: Many, just not today. Reactors are still offline. Emergency
power's at thirty percent. Dylan, we're dead in space.
HUNT: Then we've only got one shot. Rafe better come through for us.
What do you think? Can we depend on him?
BEKA: He's a Valentine.
HUNT: So, you see my problem?
BEM: I'm getting response from the enemy ships.
(A being in full mask appears on the screen.)
RESTOR [on viewscreen]: You want our identity and purpose? This is
Narwhal's Lament. We're here to kill you!
BEM: Well, bless you too.
HUNT: Those negotiations went well.
BEM: I'm detecting a ship launch.
BEKA: It's the Om Shonti. That lying bastard! He did it again. He took
off in the Om Shonti. Rafe? What the hell are you doing?
HOLO-ROMMIE: Beka! The Restor's channel is still open. Everyone can
BEKA: I don't care. Rafe! He scammed me again. There was no Danni. He
was working for the Restors the entire time. Damn him!
BEM: I'm afraid he's damned us all. I'm reading unauthorised file
copies. He's stolen Andromeda's access codes.
HUNT: Quick, change the codes. Rommie? Rommie!
BEM: We're locked out.
BEKA: If he gives them our codes, it's game over. Andromeda's a metal
sculpture in some Restor theme park.
BEM: We have to intercept Rafe.
HUNT: That's a good idea, but we have no power.
BEKA: I'll get him in the Maru.
HUNT: No, let her go. It's our only chance.
Trance are hiding again.)
TYR: Automated internal defence. What half-wit of a ship's engineer
came up with that?
TRANCE: Here. Just do like me. It's all in the timing. Hee-haw!
(Trance rolls across the corridor then back again, hee-haw-ing each
time as she zig zags.)
TYR: I'm glad someone's having a good time.
(Tyr just runs.)
Hailing frequency. Yo, Rafe, can you hear me?
RAFE [on monitor]: Me and everyone else in the system, Booster Rocket.
BEKA: Don't call me that, lying, two-faced backstabber.
RAFE [on monitor]: Oo, now you're just being mean.
BEKA: You want mean? Mean is eating my food, sleeping in my bed, and
working for the Restors the entire time. Mean is stealing Andromeda's
command codes and giving them to people who want to destroy her.
was either them or me.
BEKA [on monitor]: That's just it, isn't it?
Nothing matters to you but your own sorry skin.
You matter to me.
Yeah? I matter so much you lied to my face and now you're blowing up my
Not true. You're on your ship.
What? What do you mean?
RAFE [on monitor]: Give me some credit.
You're at the helm of the Eureka Maru, two light minutes away from any
monitor]: I saved you.
BEKA: Saved me? You betrayed me.
Don't tempt me, big brother.
RAFE [on monitor]: Come on.
give my guys the command codes, Andromeda goes boom, and we both jump
on the Maru and it's happily ever after time for both of us. What do
What do I say? I say launch kinetic warheads!
(The Om Shonti goes KaBOOM!)
Eternal life grant unto him, and may perpetual light shine upon him.
HUNT: Poor Beka.
BEM: Poor us. Rafe broadcast the codes before his ship disintegrated.
She was too late.
Restors attack the Eureka Maru.)
BEKA: Point defence systems. I need more lasers!
Beka! Beka, can you hear me!
HUNT: Do I have an engine
[OC]: Or not? Do I have a working engine?
(Trance and Tyr are trying to shoot out the internal lasers.)
TRANCE: We're getting there.
soon enough. The Restors are in range. They're targeting us. I hope
your plan works.
HUNT: Me too, Rev. Me too.
Restors have left Beka in peace.)
BEKA: How're we doing, Mister Restor? Are we downloading the nice
stolen data? Punching it into our target array? Launching missiles?
Yes, yes, yes.
(Bem cringes as the missiles approach Andromeda.)
BEM: Missiles have reversed their course.
Wh, what the heck is going on here? Why, our missile's coming right
back at us. Must be some kind of virus in the targeting systems.
(The Restor ships go KaBOOM!)
vessel docks with the Maru. It's the Om Shonti.)
RAFE: That's the thing about fanatics, they're gullible. I say launch
kinetic warheads? I didn't know you were such a ham.
BEKA: Shut up! It worked, didn't it? I almost believed I shot you. You
know, I think that's the best con we ever pulled.
RAFE: Oh, yeah. Pop'd be proud. There isn't a mark alive that can
resist stolen merchandise. You know, the more you bitched and moaned
about those so-called access codes, the more they ate it up.
BEKA: To their eternal regret.
RAFE: Yeah. For a fossilised High Guard officer, your Dylan Hunt, he's,
er, one devious human being.
BEKA: I knew you'd like him.
I have a working slipstream drive? Or do I strap the pair of you to a
set of oars?
You'll get your drive!
HUNT [OC]: Any time soon would be good.
BEM: Slipstream drive is operational. Eureka Maru is docked and secure.
HUNT: Then let's get out of here. I don't want to pick up any more
BEM: Dylan, those were not real Wayists. That was not the real Singh
Khalsa. We don't
HUNT: Rev, I know we all have agendas, but while we're on the same ship
we have to be on the same team. Next time you want to send off a homing
pigeon, warn me first.
BEM: You knew all along, didn't you?
mocked my acting. Can you believe this?
HUNT: Rafe, we owe you a big debt of gratitude. You hung yourself out
there to save Andromeda, and her crew.
RAFE: No way, Captain. Saving your butts was a bonus. I was just
looking out for my baby sister.
HUNT: You don't have to stop, you know. Looking out for her. We have
lots of vacant quarters.
BEKA: It'd be great if you stayed. Not that I need looking out for.
RAFE: It's tempting. It really is. But I thought I'd go visit Danni's
grave, plant some flowers. She'd appreciate that. And then, well, I
don't know. I thought I might go to Starlight and Still Water. There's
something about those monks.
BEKA: Rafe Valentine gets spiritual. Suddenly reuniting the
Commonwealth doesn't seem so far-fetched.
HUNT: What do you mean far-fetched?
Power is back online. Andromeda's nanobots are even more prolific than
HOLO-ROMMIE: Yes. Much better.
(Trance and Tyr enter. Trance is very happy.)
TRANCE: Yah! Pow! You know what my favourite part was? When Andromeda
pretended she was shooting at us. Oh, that was the best part of the
trick. She made it look so real, I thought she was going to shoot me
once or twice.
HUNT: Trance, that part wasn't a trick.
ROMMIE: The nanobots did disrupt my systems. The internal defences
really were out of control.
TRANCE: Oh. Yeah.
opens a crate left by Rafe.)
BEKA: My discs!
(And a photograph of a young girl and boy. She takes a CD and puts it
into a player. A hologram of Rafe appears.)
RAFE: Hey, Booster Rocket. Well, if you found this, you know that I
borrowed back your music. Too valuable a collection to keep to
yourself. I mean, we can't deprive the galaxy of all that joy.
BEKA: Or you of all that cash.
RAFE: Oh, and I can't believe you bought all that stuff about Danni.
Myself, I thought I was a little over the top with cutting her down
steel punch. Oh, and thanks for getting me out from under the FTA. Can
you believe they filed piracy charges against me? Me!
BEKA: Go figure.
RAFE: Anyway, courtesy of you and your Captain, my slate is clean. I
want you to tell him, tell him I appreciate his offer, but I'm going to
go back to business as usual. Join me anytime, Valentine Smart. This is
Valentine Smarter, signing off.
BEKA: You are really something, Valentine.