(The Defiant docks at DS9.)
WORF: Department heads, prepare reports for tomorrow's briefing. All
DAX: I'd say that was successful mission. Five days in the Gamma
quadrant and no sign of the Jem'Hadar.
WORF: Commander, during our manoeuvres through that asteroid belt in
the Kar-telos system, I noticed the Defiant felt a little sluggish when
turning hard aport.
DAX: The inertial dampening generators may need to be realigned.
WORF: I'll begin drawing up a schedule immediately. And while we're at
it, we should recalibrate the targeting scanners and check the EPS
DAX: O'Brien's going to be a little disappointed. He thought he finally
had the ship running smoothly.
WORF: Chief O'Brien has done an excellent job. This is a fine ship. But
it is my duty to keep her functioning at peak proficiency.
DAX: Mister Worf, you're in love. With the Defiant.
WORF: You exaggerate, as usual.
(Leeta picks up a dropped piece of latinum as two
Irish warriors enter. She laughs.)
BASHIR: I feel silly.
LEETA: I like it. It shows off your legs.
O'BRIEN: There, you see. Your public has spoken.
LEETA: Have fun.
BASHIR: What do you call this holosuite programme of yours called
O'BRIEN: The Battle of Clontarf. You and me and a thousand stalwart
Irish warriors against a ravening hoard of Vikings. It's like the
Battle of Britain, only with swords.
BASHIR: How come you get to be the High King?
O'BRIEN: I am a direct descendant of King Brian Boru. Besides, it's my
BASHIR: I suppose that's only fair.
(They go upstairs. An alien dabo girl is vainly trying to get people to
play. Rom is whining whilst mixing a drink.)
QUARK: I know exactly how you feel. The Bajoran Time of Cleansing.
Could someone explain to me why the Bajorans need to abstain from
worldly pleasures for an entire month? I mean, it's not like they're a
bunch of hedonistic holosuite-obsessed drunkards to begin with. (Rom
groans) No use moaning about it.
ROM: It hurts.
QUARK: Who's that for?
ROM: Me. It's one of Moogie's home remedies.
QUARK: Your ear? Again?
(Rom pours the liquid into his ear.)
QUARK: That's disgusting! You want to drive away all the rest of my
ROM: I feel dizzy.
QUARK: What else is new? Go wait on table seven.
LEETA: Rom, you look terrible. I think you'd better lie down.
QUARK: I don't pay you to think. I pay you to spin the dabo wheel. So
LEETA: But nobody's gambling.
QUARK: How can they when you're not at the wheel?
ROM: I really don't feel good.
LEETA: Can't you see he's sick? He needs to lie down.
(From Rom's point of view, voices are getting fuzzy and the room is
starting to spin.)
QUARK: Just because you happen to be intimately acquainted with Doctor
Bashir's bedside manner doesn't make you a medical expert.
ROM: Brother, am I still standing?
LEETA: What I do during my time off is no business of yours.
QUARK: If you don't get back to work this instant, you're going to have
more time off than you know what to do with. The same goes for you.
ROM: Yes, brother.
(And Rom falls gently backwards)
LEETA: Aren't you going to do something?
QUARK: Of course I'm going to do something. I'm going to dock his pay.
Broik, clean up this mess.
(Bashir is using a light-emitting gizmo on the
cavern which is the Ferengi ear.)
BASHIR: This is one stubborn infection. How long have you had it?
ROM: A couple of weeks.
BASHIR: You mean to tell me you've been walking around with a seeping
infection of the tympanic membrane for two weeks?
ROM: More like three, actually.
BASHIR: Rom, you could have died! Another forty eight hours and you'd
have been bidding for a new life in the Divine Treasury.
ROM: I guess it's a good thing I fainted when I did.
BASHIR: Why didn't you come and see me sooner?
ROM: I couldn't. I was busy.
BASHIR: I'm sure your brother could have spared you for half an hour.
ROM: It would've been a violation of my contract. Paragraph seventy
six, subsection three. Employees of Quark's Bar and Holding Company are
strictly prohibited from leaving the work environment during business
hours unless ordered to do so by their employer. Any failure to comply
with this provision will result in severe fines and possible dismissal.
It's a standard provision in all Ferengi labour contracts.
BASHIR: You mean you don't get time off even if you're sick?
ROM: It's all part of our generous employee compensation package. No
sick days, no vacations, no paid overtime.
BASHIR: It sounds to me like you need a better contract.
ROM: There's no such thing. All Ferengi labour contracts are the same.
BASHIR: Well, that should do it. But I want you to see me first thing
in the morning for a follow-up.
ROM: It'll have to be before the bar opens.
BASHIR: What you people need is a union.
ROM: A what?
BASHIR: You know, a trade guild, a collective bargaining association. A
union. Something to keep you from being exploited.
ROM: You don't understand. Ferengi workers don't want to stop the
exploitation. We want to find a way to become the exploiters.
BASHIR: Suit yourself. But I don't see you exploiting anyone.
LEETA: Rom, how'd it go?
ROM: I'm okay.
LEETA: Julian's a wonderful doctor. Your brother should have let you
see him weeks ago.
ROM: It's not Quark's fault that I got sick. I forgot to get my
bimonthly ear scan. And besides, I've probably been getting too much
LEETA: Really? Who's the lucky female?
ROM: No female. Just me.
LEETA: I'm sorry.
ROM: Sorry enough to do something about it?
LEETA: I don't think Julian would approve.
ROM: We could ask him.
QUARK: All right, everyone. Gather around.
LEETA: (sotto) What now?
QUARK: I have an announcement to make. I've just been going over
today's receipts and it's not good. The only thing this Bajoran
Cleansing Ritual has cleansed is my profit margin. So, starting
tomorrow, everyone's salary gets cut by a third.
ROM: No, no, it's not fair. I'll talk to him.
LEETA: It's ridiculous.
QUARK: It was either that or fire half the staff. Don't bother thanking
LEETA: I can't afford a pay cut.
QUARK: It's either a pay cut or a layoff. You decide. All right
everyone, get back to work. I want this place cleaned up and the lights
off in ten minutes.
ROM: Brother, this isn't right. You can't just cut people's salaries
QUARK: Actually, I can. And I have. Now why don't you concentrate on
keeping your hands off your lobes and leave the business matters to me.
ROM: But once the Cleansing Ritual is over you'll restore everyone's
QUARK: That depends on next quarter's fiscal summation.
ROM: Brother, I'm asking you as a personal favour to reconsider this
QUARK: Anything for you. (thinks) There. I've reconsidered it. My
ROM: But, brother
QUARK: Don't brother me. In this bar you're not my brother. You're my
employee. And employees have no right to question the management's
ROM: I'm warning you, if you don't rescind the pay cuts you're going to
QUARK: The only thing I regret is not being an only child.
(Dax and Worf are in their exercise clothes.)
DAX: You know, I think I'm finally getting the hang of this mek'leth.
Don't you think?
WORF: It would seem so.
DAX: Then why haven't you told me?
WORF: A Klingon warrior does not need the praise of his teacher.
DAX: I'm not a Klingon warrior. I'm a beautiful and sensitive young
woman who thrives on.
(Worf holds up his hand.)
DAX: What is it?
(A thumping noise in the ceiling. Worf opens the panel with his
bat'leth and a thief falls out. Small items scatter everywhere.)
WORF: Do not move.
DAX: Isn't this your tooth sharpener?
WORF: This p'tak just robbed my quarters.
ODO: (to deputy) Take him to a holding cell.
(The thief is hauled off)
ODO: I'll need a statement.
WORF: And you will have one. But I want to know why such a security
breach was allowed to occur in the first place.
ODO: Unfortunately, these things happen.
WORF: They did not happen on the Enterprise.
ODO: Really? Now let me see. Stardate
46235.7, Ferengi privateers led by DaiMon Lurin boarded and
seized control of the Enterprise using two salvaged Klingon birds of
45349.1. Berlinghoff Rasmussen, a petty criminal
impersonating a scientist, committed numerous acts of theft against the
crew of the Enterprise. Shall I continue?
WORF: That will not be necessary.
ODO: I know these incidents are the exception rather than the rule, but
if security breaches like these could happen on the flagship of the
Federation, imagine the difficulty of maintaining security at an open
port such as DS Nine.
WORF: I understand. It is just that I find it irritating.
ODO: So do I, but I'm afraid you're just going to have to get used to
(Quark's employees are gathered.)
ROM: Attention please. Thank you all for coming. I know that in the
past I've always defended my brother whenever he's taken a stance
that's proven unpopular with the staff. But I'm not going to do that
GRIMP: You're not?
ROM: No. I'm not. Quark's just using the Cleansing Ritual to increase
his profits at our expense. It isn't fair, and we're not going to take
GRIMP: Since when?
ROM: Since right now.
LEETA: So what are we going to do about it?
ROM: We're going to fight back in the only way we can. We're going to
form a, a
FROOL: A what?
ROM: We're going to form a union.
(Consternation. The Ferengi are shocked, the others are delighted.)
GRIMP: Are you insane? You've just destroyed the lives of every Ferengi
in this room. When the FCA finds out we've even been talking of a, a
LEETA: A union.
GRIMP: Don't say that word again. We're in enough trouble as it is.
FROOL: The Ferengi Commerce Authority doesn't have to hear about this.
If we all go back to work now, no one else has to know this ever
GRIMP: No, no, it's too late for that. The FCA has ears everywhere. And
as soon as their lobes get wind of this, we're all doomed.
ROM: All right. So we're doomed. FCA Liquidators will probably haunt us
for the rest of our lives. But I say if they're going to come after us,
let's give them a good reason. Every one of you, Ferengi and
non-Ferengi alike, knows that the way Quark treats us is unfair. Frool,
don't you deserve a day off when your back starts acting up?
FROOL: Well, I suppose.
ROM: And Grimp, wouldn't you like to take a paid vacation?
GRIMP: You're being ridiculous.
ROM: Answer the question.
GRIMP: It's not going to happen.
ROM: It won't happen unless you make it happen. We're Ferengi. And when
a Ferengi sees an opportunity, what does he do?
FROOL: He seizes it.
ROM: That's right. And I for one intend to grab it. We've been
exploited long enough. It's time to be strong, take control of our
lives, our dignity and our profits.
ROM: Strike a blow against Quark.
ROM: Strike a blow against the FCA.
ROM: Strike a blow against exploitation.
ROM: Are you with me?
ALL: Yes! Union! Union! Union!
(Bashir is checking the back of O'Brien's neck.)
BASHIR: What you have there is a sebaceous cyst.
O'BRIEN: I know it's a cyst. But it's getting bigger.
BASHIR: It's nothing to worry about. Dermatologically speaking, you're
O'BRIEN: I'm perfectly healthy except I've got a disgusting cyst on the
back of my neck. Now either I paint a nose, eyes and mouth on it and
pretend I've got two heads, or you take it off.
BASHIR: I'll get you some paint.
O'BRIEN: Julian, get it off of me!
BASHIR: All right, all right. But you know what they say, two heads are
better than one.
O'BRIEN: Julian, I'm waiting.
ROM: Doctor Bashir, I'm glad you're in. I need your help.
BASHIR: That ear acting up again?
ROM: My ear's fine. I need some advice about unions.
ROM: You said the other day I should form a union, so I did.
BASHIR: Rom, I was speaking theoretically.
ROM: And I put your theory into practice. All of Quark's employees have
joined. We're going to force Quark to treat us better. I hope.
O'BRIEN: A union, huh? Good for you.
ROM: You know about unions?
O'BRIEN: Who do you think led the Pennsylvania coal miners during the
anthracite strike of nineteen oh two?
ROM: I have no idea.
O'BRIEN: Sean Aloysius O'Brien.
BASHIR: I didn't know that.
O'BRIEN: There're lots of things about my family that you don't know.
Eleven months those mines were closed, and they didn't open again until
all the miners' demands were met.
ROM: You mean we should force Quark to close the bar?
BASHIR: Only as a last resort. If he's reasonable about your requests,
there's no need to strike.
O'BRIEN: Quark reasonable? Ha! Unlikely. You'll have to strike, mark my
words. And when you do, you'll have to be strong.
ROM: Just like Sean O'Brien.
O'BRIEN: Exactly. You know, he had the biggest funeral in all of
O'BRIEN: They fished his body out of the Allegheny river a week before
the strike ended. Thirty two bullets he had in him. Or was it thirty
BASHIR: (finishing removing the cyst.) Well, he died a hero.
O'BRIEN: He was more than a hero. He was a union man.
(O'Brien is under a console.)
O'BRIEN: I see the problem now. You've got a bad ODN relay here. We'll
have to replace the whole unit.
WORF: How long will it take?
O'BRIEN: Two or three hours. But after that, it'll work like a charm.
WORF: Until the next time it breaks down.
O'BRIEN: That's the problem when you combine Cardassian, Bajoran and
Federation technology. None of it was meant to work together.
WORF: How do you tolerate working in this environment?
O'BRIEN: It's a lot easier than working on the Enterprise.
WORF: Easier? The Enterprise never had these kind of problems.
O'BRIEN: Tell me about it. Have you have any idea how bored I used to
get sitting in the Transporter room waiting for something to break
down? Here, I've a half dozen new problems every day. This station
needs me. Oh, do me a favour. Hand me the coil spanner.
QUARK: (passing the shrine) Happy Cleansing.
(The staff are gathered to greet him.)
QUARK: If this is a surprise birthday party, you're a month late.
ROM: It's not a party. We're the Guild of Restaurant and Casino
Employees and we're here to present our demands.
QUARK: The Guild of Restaurant and Casino Employees? What's that
supposed to be?
ROM: What does it sound like?
QUARK: It's sounds like, like a union.
ROM: Exactly. So you'd better take our demands seriously.
(Rom hands over a PADD.)
QUARK: Increased pay. Shorter hours. Paid sick leave. (laughs)
ROM: This is no joke.
QUARK: Yes, it is. And the fact that you don't know that is what makes
it so funny. Now get back to work before I fire the lot of you.
ROM: You can't fire us.
QUARK: Why not?
ROM: Because as of right now, we're all on strike.
(Quark stops laughing as his staff leave.)
(There's a picket line, and Rom is paying people
not to go inside.)
ROM: Thank you for not patronising Quark's. Thank you very much. Thank
you for not patronising Quark's. Thank you for not patronising Quark's.
Thank you for not patronising Quark's. Thank you for not patronising
LEETA: I hope Rom's voice holds out.
GRIMP: I hope our latinum holds out.
ROM: Thank you for not patronising Quark's.
(Odo comes down the stairs to be met by Quark
holding a tray of glasses.)
ODO: You wanted to see me.
QUARK: May I take you're order, sir?
ODO: Quark, I'm in no mood for games.
QUARK: There seems to be an opening at the dabo table. Or perhaps I
might interest you in some time in the holosuites?
(Quark vanishes and the tray hangs for a moment then drops with a
QUARK: Not again.
(There's another Quark with a Pakled at the dabo table too. A Quark
QUARK: Are you carrying a tricorder or anything with a portable energy
ODO: What are you talking about?
QUARK: I'm still working out the bugs in these holographic waiters. The
Lissepian who sold me the programme neglected to mention that certain
energy sources can interfere with the imaging system.
ODO: Sounds like there's no end to the problems you're facing.
QUARK: I can take care of the Lissepian. I need you to get those
traitors away from my front door. They're blocking access to my place
of business, causing a disturbance on the Promenade, and they're
probably a fire hazard. They belong in a holding cell, every last one
ODO: Well, I hate to admit this, but I agree with you. From what Chief
O'Brien tells me about strikes, they sound like trouble. I don't like
mobs. In my opinion, if you need one to get what you want, it's not
QUARK: Good. Then you'll haul them away.
ODO: I'll do nothing of the sort.
QUARK: But you said
ODO: I know what I said. But I have strict orders from Captain Sisko
not to impinge on your employees' freedom of expression. As long as
they stay peaceful and allow your customers access through the second
level entrance, I'm not allowed to interfere.
QUARK: In that case, would you mind serving some drinks?
(A Quark walks past with a tray. Odo huffs and leaves.)
QUARK: I didn't think so.
(There's another crash)
[Promenade - upper level]
(Across the way from Quark's upper cafe entrance,
two boys are playing a game.)
BASHIR: What about that Vulcan?
O'BRIEN: With their sense of ethics? Definitely on the side of labour.
(The Vulcan crewwoman passes by.)
BASHIR: I'd say this one's an Enter.
(Two Pakleds go in.)
O'BRIEN: Lucky guess.
(Along comes Worf)
O'BRIEN: Pass. He barely set foot in the place when there wasn't a
BASHIR: Quark isn't exactly his favourite person.
(Worf goes in)
BASHIR: Wait a minute. I can't believe it! He's an Enter.
O'BRIEN: Not for long.
BASHIR: Where are you going?
O'BRIEN: To talk some sense into him. Commander! Hold on!
SISKO: I cannot believe what I'm seeing.
(Bashir, O'Brien and Worf all in a cell.)
WORF: Sir, if I could explain.
SISKO: Mister Worf, do I look like I'm ready for an explanation? Three
of my senior staff brawling on the Promenade.
O'BRIEN: With all due respect, sir. We weren't brawling.
SISKO: Maybe you should take a closer look at Doctor Bashir's forehead.
(There's a cut on it.)
O'BRIEN: He shouldn't have got in the way.
BASHIR: I was trying (to Sisko) I was trying to stop the fight.
WORF: We were not fighting.
SISKO: Then what were you doing?
O'BRIEN: We were
WORF: Having a difference of opinion.
O'BRIEN: I suppose towards the end there, we might have done a bit of
SISKO: According to Odo, Doctor Bashir was shoved over a table.
WORF: Now that was an accident.
BASHIR: It was just, things just got a little out of hand.
SISKO: Things got more than a little out of hand. I suppose I'm going
to have to talk to Quark myself, find a way to settle this strike, get
things back to normal around here.
O'BRIEN: Captain? Can we leave now?
SISKO: I'll tell Constable Odo to let you go (pause) in the morning.
BASHIR: I hope you're proud of yourselves.
QUARK: Captain, believe me, I want this strike
settled as much as you do.
SISKO: Then settle it.
QUARK: It's not that simple.
SISKO: Make it simple. Sit down with your brother and hammer out an
QUARK: Captain, I'm afraid you don't understand what a delicate
situation this is. Even talking with strikers would be a violation of
the most sacred precepts of Ferengi culture.
SISKO: Maybe I don't know much about Ferengi culture but I do know who
holds the lease on your bar.
QUARK: The Federation. And I couldn't ask for better landlords.
SISKO: That's because we don't ask you to pay your rent, or to
reimburse us for your maintenance repairs, or the drain on the
station's power supply.
QUARK: You're a very generous people.
SISKO: Until today. Let's see. Five years of back rent, plus power
consumption, plus the repairs. Do you know how much latinum that is?
QUARK: A lot.
SISKO: That's right.
QUARK: I'll talk to my brother.
SISKO: I'm glad we're in agreement.
(Rom is working on PADDs.)
ROM: Labour. Where's wages? Wages are here. Wages.
ROM: Come in.
ROM: What do you want?
(Quark hands Rom a PADD)
ROM: What's this?
QUARK: It's the amount of latinum I'm willing to transfer into your
private account if you'll just end this strike.
ROM: Are we talking about slips, strips, or bars?
QUARK: Slips. All right, strips.
ROM: It wouldn't matter if it were bars. I'm not going to end the
strike unless you meet our demands.
QUARK: Rom, we shouldn't be fighting. We're brothers.
ROM: Not when it comes to business. We're nothing but employer and
employee. You said so yourself.
QUARK: I was wrong.
ROM: No, you weren't.
QUARK: Rom, can't we talk about this?
ROM: There's only one thing I have to say to you. (reading) Workers of
the world, unite. You have nothing to lose but your chains.
QUARK: What's happened to you?
(Quark unlocks the main door and enters.)
BRUNT: Ah. It's about time you got back.
BRUNT: That's Liquidator Brunt to you. I see you remember me.
(Brunt is accompanied by two Nausicaans.)
QUARK: Who could forget. What do you want?
BRUNT: Quark, don't worry. I'm here to help. The Ferengi Commerce
Authority has ordered me to end this nasty little labour dispute of
QUARK: How do you propose to do that?
BRUNT: By any means necessary.
FROOL: I hear Quark had only fourteen customers all
LEETA: And he'll have even less tomorrow. I've been talking to people
all over the station and support for our cause is growing.
FROOL: Quark will have to settle. Either that or go out of business.
GRIMP: I don't know. Quark can be awful stubborn. I think he'd rather
lose the bar than give in to us.
ROM: Don't be such a pessimist. Remember Rule of Acquisition two sixty
three. Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum.
GRIMP: Your brother can quote the Rules of Acquisition, too. I think
his favourite is two eleven. Employees are the rungs on the Ladder of
Success. Don't hesitate to step on them.
ROM: My ex-brother wasn't quoting the Rules of Acquisition when he came
to see me yesterday.
LEETA: What did he say?
ROM: He offered me a bribe if I would end the strike.
GRIMP: Did you take it?
ROM: No, I didn't take it. Don't you see what that means? He's getting
desperate. A few more days and we'll get everything we want.
(The door is opened by someone phasering the lock.)
BRUNT: Brunt, FCA.
FROOL: It's not my fault. They made me do it. It was all his idea.
(Frool falls to his knees.)
BRUNT: If this was Ferenginar, I'd have you all taken to the Spire of
the Tower of Commerce, displayed to the crowds in the Great Marketplace
below, then shoved off, one by one. Small children would bet on where
you would land, and your spattered remains would be sold as feed mulch
FROOL: Spare me. I'm old, I'm fragile. I'll push the rest of them off
GRIMP: I thought you said you weren't afraid of the FCA.
FROOL: I lied.
ROM: Don't let him intimidate you. We're not on Ferenginar.
BRUNT: Lucky for you. But the FCA understands that living on this
station has (looks at Leeta and gets distracted) corrupted you. You've
been tempted by unwholesome Bajoran ideals, exposed to the twisted
values of the Federation. And because of that, we are willing to
BRUNT: But don't confuse our mercy with weakness. If you are not back
at your jobs tomorrow morning, your financial accounts on Ferenginar
will be confiscated, your families fined and your trading permits
revoked. You'll be ruined, reduced to utter destitution. Am I
understood? Good. I thought so. Don't bother getting up.
(Brunt and Co leave)
GRIMP: Would you get up? Come on.
ROM: Let him stay there. That's where he belongs. The question is,
where do we belong? On our knees, like Frool, or standing tall like
LEETA: Who's Sean O'Brien?
ROM: He was a union man. A man who gave his life to earn a decent wage
for his fellow workers. Brunt wouldn't have intimidated him, and he
won't intimidate me.
GRIMP: What about our accounts on Ferenginar?
ROM: If your accounts on Ferenginar were worth anything, you wouldn't
be working as a waiter. I'm telling you, nothing has changed. Victory
is within our grasp. All we have to do is take it. Now are you with me?
GRIMP + LEETA: Yes.
ROM: I said, are you with me!
ROM: Then let's get back on that picket line and show Quark what we're
(Frool is still on his knees when everyone else has left)
FROOL: Can I get up now?
(The general is addressing his troops.)
ROM: Look sharp now, no slouching. Remember, in unity there is
strength, so be strong.
[Promenade - upper level]
(Rom and O'Brien swap thumbs-up)
WORF: Chief, may I speak with you?
O'BRIEN: Sure. What's on your mind?
WORF: I feel I owe you an apology. I allowed our argument in Quark's to
get out of hand.
O'BRIEN: I think there was plenty of blame to spread around.
WORF: Nonetheless, we are Starfleet officers, and Starfleet officers do
not brawl with each other.
O'BRIEN: It wasn't much of a brawl, really. I grabbed you, you shoved
me, and Julian was tossed over a table.
WORF: It never should have happened. And under normal circumstances, it
never would have. But there is something about this station I find
O'BRIEN: You'll get used to it.
WORF: Perhaps. But in the meantime, I think I've found a solution. I'm
going to move my quarters to the Defiant.
O'BRIEN: You're going to live on the Defiant?
WORF: I have already discussed it with Captain Sisko.
O'BRIEN: And he said yes?
WORF: As long as it doesn't interfere with my duties.
O'BRIEN: But you'll be living out there all by yourself.
WORF: (bliss) I know.
LEETA: That was pretty impressive, standing up to
Brunt the way you did.
ROM: Who'd have thought I had such natural leadership skills?
LEETA: I knew it all along.
ROM: I didn't think so.
LEETA: Well, you surprised a lot of people, including me. I've got to
get ready. I'm having dinner with Julian.
ROM: He's a lucky man.
LEETA: And almost as brave as you are.
(Leeta kisses Rom's forehead and goes into her quarters. Quark appears
from around the corner.)
QUARK: Psst! Rom!
ROM: She kissed me!
QUARK: There's no accounting for taste. Rom, we have to talk.
ROM: Are you ready to give in to our demands?
QUARK: Of course not.
ROM: Then there's nothing to talk about.
QUARK: There's plenty to talk about. The FCA's involved now, and those
Nausicaans working for Brunt aren't just for show.
ROM: I'm not going to let Brunt intimidate me.
QUARK: Don't you see, Rom? You should be intimidated. There's no
telling what Brunt might do, and I don't want you to get hurt.
ROM: You never cared what happened to me before.
(Quark slams Rom up against a bulkhead.)
QUARK: I always cared about you. I tried to protect you, save you from
ROM: How? By telling me I was an idiot my whole life?
QUARK: I had to be tough on you. I was trying to make you a better
ROM: What you were trying to do was make yourself feel important.
Making me feel dumb made you feel smart. But I'm not dumb and you're
not half as smart as you think you are.
QUARK: Rom! You have to listen to me! The FCA doesn't have to answer to
anyone, and if Brunt decides to get rid of you I won't be able to stop
ROM: Look at it this way. If Brunt gets rid of me, then all your
problems are solved. You always said you wanted to be an only child.
(After hours, Brunt is doing sums and the
Nausicaans are playing darts, with each other as the dart board.)
QUARK: Doesn't that hurt?
BRUNT: I'm sure it does. Most Nausicaan games do. Speaking of pain. Did
you talk to your brother?
QUARK: We talked.
QUARK: I need more time.
BRUNT: Time, like latinum, is a highly limited commodity.
QUARK: Look, you're here to help me, right?
BRUNT: Wrong. I'm here to enforce Ferengi law and to protect Ferengi
traditions. And that means ending this strike. Now I can see we are
going to have to make an example of someone.
QUARK: What kind of example?
BRUNT: Oh, I'm sure that we'll come up with something that will get
QUARK: I don't want my brother hurt.
BRUNT: I wasn't thinking of him. Attack the leader of a movement, you
risk creating a martyr. No, Rom must not be touched. Our target must be
someone unexpected, someone he cares about. Like that dabo girl.
QUARK: Leeta? But she's not even Ferengi.
BRUNT: I know. That's what makes it so memorable. But she has such
delicate lobes. I'm afraid I couldn't bring myself to give the order.
Let's see. Who else does Rom care about? Boys.
(The Nausicaans come over.)
QUARK: Me? But I'm on your side.
BRUNT: Ironic, isn't it.
(Quark is on a bed with a device on his forehead.)
QUARK: I thought I wasn't allowed to have any visitors.
ROM: Doctor Bashir made an exception. He said you were almost killed.
QUARK: It's nothing to smile about. Those Nausicaans shattered my left
eye socket, broke two of my ascending ribs and punctured my lower lung.
If Odo hadn't come along when he did.
ROM: Does it hurt?
QUARK: Of course it hurts.
ROM: Too bad.
QUARK: If you're going to stand there and gloat, you can leave right
ROM: I'm not done gloating.
QUARK: Don't you get it? This was a message for you.
ROM: It's not going to work.
QUARK: I wish Brunt had known that.
ROM: Odo has him and the Nausicaans in a holding cell. He says it's an
open and shut case.
QUARK: It's an open and shut case all right, but I'm not going to press
ROM: You're not?
QUARK: Of course not. I'm in enough trouble with the FCA as it is.
ROM: But then Odo will have to let them go.
QUARK: Either way, the FCA will just send another Liquidator. And that
one will make an example of you.
ROM: Then you'll be the one gloating.
QUARK: I don't want to gloat. I want to end the strike.
ROM: So give us what we want.
QUARK: Rom, I can't. I'm not going against ten thousand years of
ROM: You're just afraid of the FCA.
QUARK: Of course I'm afraid of the FCA. They crushed my eye socket. And
if you had any sense, you'd be afraid of them too. If this strike
doesn't get settled soon, we're both going to find ourselves tossed out
of the nearest airlock. You have to dissolve the union. (idea) At least
ROM: What do you mean?
QUARK: I mean, I mean you dissolve the union, make it look like I've
won, and I'll give you everything you want.
ROM: You'll meet our demands?
QUARK: That's what I just said, you idiot.
ROM: Even sick leave?
QUARK: Even sick leave. And six months from now, when the FCA isn't
watching my books so closely, you'll get your raises.
ROM: Six months!
QUARK: It's the best I can do.
ROM: No, it's not. All you have to do is make up one of your fake
business ledgers for the FCA. They'll never know the difference.
QUARK: Shush! All right, you'll get your raises by the end of the week.
But the union dies here. Today. And that's my final offer.
(Worf takes the mattress off a Defiant bunk bed)
DAX: I thought about getting you a plant, but somehow it didn't seem
WORF: A wise decision.
DAX: So I brought you this instead.
(Dax gives him an isolinear chip.)
DAX: It's a collection of my favourite Klingon operas. Think about it.
You can lie in bed and pipe them through the Defiant's comm. system.
Play them as loud as you like.
WORF: A thoughtful gift.
DAX: You know, Worf, in the end living on the Defiant isn't going to
change anything. You're still going to have to get used to life on the
WORF: I am not sure I agree.
DAX: Sooner or later you're going to have to adapt.
WORF: Perhaps in the end it will be all of you who that have to adapt
(Leeta and Quark are greeting the customers.)
QUARK: Come in. Come in. Welcome back.
LEETA: Why don't you try your luck at dabo wheel? Remember, every
Bajoran gets one free spin.
QUARK: You're in a good mood.
LEETA: I just got a raise.
QUARK: Major. I must say, you are looking particularly cleansed today.
KIRA: Just get me two mugs of synthale, a double order of hasperat, and
hold the conversation.
QUARK: No wonder I missed you.
(Rom enters in Bajoran workers overalls)
QUARK: Ah, Rom, there you are. Why aren't you in your waiter's uniform?
ROM: I'll have a large snail juice, please. Straight up.
QUARK: You know there's no drinking on the job.
ROM: That's no way to talk to a customer.
QUARK: You're not a customer. You're an employee.
ROM: Not anymore. I've wiped my last table and mixed my last Blackhole.
Starting today, I'm one of the station's diagnostic and repair
technicians. Junior grade, night shift.
QUARK: You're quitting?
ROM: Effective immediately.
QUARK: I gave you everything you wanted.
ROM: I know. But if the strike taught me anything, it's that I do a lot
better when you're not around. Don't worry. I'll keep your holosuites
running and fix your replicators when they're broken. I think this'll
be really good for our relationship.
QUARK: I don't.
ROM: Think about it from my point of view. If I keep working for you,
all I have to look forward to is waiting for you to die so I can
inherit the bar. Well, I don't want you to die. And besides, I deserve
to have a life of my own now.
QUARK: But without me looking after you
ROM: I'll do fine.
QUARK: I suppose you will. I'll miss you.
ROM: No, you won't. I'll be here all the time. Only I'll be a paying
customer. Now get me my snail juice, brother.
QUARK: Coming up.