Looking for Par'Mach In All The Wrong Places
Stardate: Unknown
Original Airdate: 14 Oct, 1996

[Corridor]

(Bashir hears raised voices from the O'Brien's quarters, but when he stops to listen, Quark appears.)
QUARK: Doctor?
BASHIR: Oh! Hello, Quark.
QUARK: Let me guess. Eavesdropping on the battling O'Briens?
BASHIR: Don't be ridiculous.
QUARK: Such language. I hope Molly's not around.
BASHIR: You can hear what they're saying in there?
QUARK: How could I not?
BASHIR: What are they saying?
QUARK: Let's use a little discretion, shall we? He's done something. She's outraged. He thinks she's overreacting. She thinks he's trying to run her life. Pretty boring actually, but to hear them you'd think it was a matter of life and death.
KEIKO: Hello, Julian.
BASHIR: Oh. Hello.
KEIKO: Quark.
QUARK: Mrs O'Brien.
(Keiko goes into her quarters.)
BASHIR: I thought you said the O'Briens were arguing in there.
QUARK: Not Miles and Keiko. The other O'Briens, Miles and Kira.
BASHIR: What do they have to argue about?
QUARK: Miles hid Kira's springball racket because she's carrying his baby and he doesn't want her taking any risks, and she doesn't want him controlling her
BASHIR: What?
QUARK: Keiko made them stop. Now they're in the 'let's talk this out and share our feelings' part of the fight. Show's over.
BASHIR: Oh, well. I mean, good.

[Replimat]

WORF: It is the power of his voice, the strength of his intonation that make Barak-kadan a great singer. There are none like him.
DAX: None as boring anyway. He never varies his performance, by even a half-tone.
WORF: I prefer traditional opera performed in the traditional manner.
DAX: You know, for a Klingon who was raised by humans, wears a Starfleet uniform and drinks prune juice, you're pretty attached to tradition. But that's okay. I like a man riddled with contradictions.
(Worf sees Grilka (from House of Quark) and her entourage come out of the airlock onto the Promenade.)
DAX: That's a welcome sight. The peace talks must be going well if the Klingons are back on the station. Worf?
WORF: Did you see her?
DAX: The Klingon woman?
WORF: She was glorious.

[Promenade]

(Grilka and co go into Quarks)
DAX: Her? She's okay.
WORF: I have never seen such a woman. Who is she? What house is she from? I do not recognise her family crest.
(Grilka goes over to Quark, makes a pretence of going for her dagger, then they embrace.)
WORF: She's a friend of the Ferengi.
DAX: Now I remember who she is. Her name is Grilka. And she's not just Quark's friend. She's his ex-wife.

[Quark's]

QUARK: Maparian ale with just a hint of pazafer, as I recall.
GRILKA: You remember. I'm honoured.
QUARK: How could I forget? You're the only Klingon I know who drinks something besides bloodwine, or prune juice.
GRILKA: Prune juice?
QUARK: Forget it. To the House of Grilka. May it continue to be as strong and proud as its lady is beautiful.
GRILKA: You may not have been the ideal husband but you are an excellent bartender.
QUARK: I know of no greater compliment. So, what brings you to my humble establishment? Business or pleasure?
GRILKA: The recent hostilities between the Federation and the Empire have been very costly to my family. We have suffered great losses in ships, lands, warriors.
QUARK: War. What is it good for? If you ask me, absolutely nothing.
GRILKA: The financial cost was significant.
QUARK: I have got an idea. Why don't I take a look at your financial records? I know that's not why you're here. I'm sure it's simply a social visit, but maybe I could help.
GRILKA: Very well. If it pleases you, I will allow you access to the records.
QUARK: Thank you.
(Grilka and Tumek leave, then Thopok puts his hands on Quark's shoulders.)
THOPOK: Hear this, Ferengi. Help Grilka and you live. Fail and I will kill you myself.
(This is Phil Morris, who was in Miri and ST3)

[Ops]

DAX: And even though it was an accident, Quark took credit for killing Grilka's husband.
WORF: Why?
DAX: As a way of boosting business at the bar. And it worked. But then Grilka kidnapped Quark and took him back to the Klingon Homeworld and married him.
WORF: Why?
DAX: I'm getting to that. As a woman, Grilka was forbidden to lead her House. By marrying Quark she was able to retain control through him. Eventually, she convinced the Council to give her control and she divorced Quark on the spot. As far as I know, that's the last time they saw each other.
WORF: A marriage of convenience.
DAX: Certainly for Grilka. I'm not sure how convenient it was for Quark.
WORF: His opinion is of no consequence. He is unworthy of such a prize as she.
DAX: Worf, it sounds like you have got a bad case of par'Mach.
SISKO: Is that contagious?
DAX: Par'Mach is the Klingon word for love, but with more aggressive overtones.
SISKO: Love? Worf?
DAX: Stranger things have happened.
SISKO: Especially around here.

[Infirmary]

BASHIR: This should alleviate Kira's sneezing.
O'BRIEN: Should?
BASHIR: Bajoran women have been sneezing their way through pregnancy for over a hundred thousand years. You can't expect me to cure it overnight. You know, I heard a rumour the Jerries may trying to cross the Channel this evening. Maybe we should have a surprise waiting for them.
(O'Brien sniffs the respirator and sneezes.)
BASHIR: Serves you right.
O'BRIEN: I can't go to the holosuite tonight. Kira and I have some things to work out.
BASHIR: Still fighting, huh?
O'BRIEN: Who said we were fighting?
BASHIR: Word gets around. It's a small station.
O'BRIEN: It's a huge station.
BASHIR: Obviously not huge enough.
O'BRIEN: Well, for your information, we're not fighting.
BASHIR: Glad to hear it. Bajoran takeo herbs for Kira's swollen ankles. She'll need to dissolve them in some kind of fruit juice before ingesting them.
O'BRIEN: I hope they taste better than those makara herbs you gave her.
BASHIR: Are you sampling all her medications?
O'BRIEN: No. Kira didn't like the taste. Oh by the way, I almost forgot. She er, she has a rash on the back of her thighs. Do you have a salve or something?
BASHIR: How long has she had it?
O'BRIEN: Well, I noticed it yesterday when I was helping her out of the bathtub, so she's had it at least a day.
BASHIR: Helping her out of the tub?
O'BRIEN: She's living in my house. She's having my baby.
BASHIR: So did you look?
O'BRIEN: What? Oh, please. I was holding a towel up in front of her.
BASHIR: How does Keiko feel about you helping Kira out of the tub?
O'BRIEN: Keiko feels fine about it. You see, we are adults. We've developed a close, mature relationship.
BASHIR: I'm sure that Keiko and Kira have. But you?
O'BRIEN: What about me?
BASHIR: I bet you looked.

[Quark's]

(Grilka, Tumek and Thopok are at a table. Worf goes over to Morn, who is signalling for a refill.)
WORF: I will apologize for this at another time. You are in my seat!
(Worf throws Morn off his seat and sits down)
WORF: Bartender! Bloodwine! What is that smell? Is there a pile of rotting forshak in here?
(Worf glowers at Thopok.)
WORF: Or is it you. Stand when I talk to you. Do you think it is funny?
(Worf goes to the table, throwing chairs out of his way.)
TUMEK: Mev'Yap! Worf, Son of Mogh. Come, join me.
(Tumek leads Worf to a quiet corner.)
TUMEK: Challenging Thopok to a fight is a waste of time. Grilka cannot mate with you, now or ever. Your House is dishonoured. Your name is a curse.
WORF: I meant no disrespect.
TUMEK: You showed none. I'm sure your motives were honourable. Do not let it trouble you too much. In truth, I doubt it would've been a good match.
WORF: Why?
TUMEK: Have you ever pursued a Klingon woman?
WORF: No.
TUMEK: There's no shame in that. You were raised by Humans, you wear their uniform, you accept their values. How could you know anything about our women?
WORF: You'd be surprised what I know.
TUMEK: Perhaps. But we will not find out here. It is the wish of the Lady Grilka that you leave us now, son of Mogh, and do not return.
(That cracking sound is a breaking heart.)

[Mess hall]

WORF: I am a fool.
DAX: You're in love. Which I suppose is the same thing. You're making too much out of this, Worf. Tumek said Grilka wasn't offended. She was probably flattered.
WORF: There is no flattery in a great lady being courted by a traitor.
DAX: Is that what's really bothering you? Or is it that Tumek said that you didn't know anything about Klingon women, and you're afraid he's right?
(Quark enters)
WORF: What do you want?
QUARK: I want to talk to Dax if that's all right with you. I need help. Grilka invited me to dinner and I need to brush up on Klingon manners and protocol and all that.
WORF: She invited you to dinner?
QUARK: In her quarters. A private dinner. A very private dinner.
(Worf gets up and stands by the bulkhead, sulking.)
QUARK: What's wrong with him?
DAX: He's having a bad day.
QUARK: That's a shame. Well, when Grilka and I were married there wasn't a lot of affection involved. So what does a Klingon woman expect from a man? Are there any secret Klingon phrases I should know, or do we just leap on each other like a pair of crazed voles?
DAX: Quark, Klingon mating rituals are very involved. It's not just a one night affair.
QUARK: Two nights. Whatever. Look, I'm serious. Grilka and I, we have something. I'm not sure what, but I want to pursue it.
DAX: For sex?
QUARK: No. Well, that too. But there's more. She's glorious.
DAX: So I hear. Look, if you're serious about this, then you have to go slow at dinner. No innuendo, no staring at her cleavage.
QUARK: So what do I do?
DAX: You talk. You ask her about her family's history and their accomplishments. She'll consider this a great sign of respect.
QUARK: Respect? Okay, okay, I can do that. Anything else?
WORF: Grilka is from the Mekro'vak region. It is customary among her people that the man to bring a leg of a lingta to the first courtship dinner. Make sure it's fresh, as if you had just killed it. Then use the leg to sweep aside everything on the table and declare in a loud voice, 'I have brought you this. From this day, I wish to provide food for you and your House. All I ask is to share your company and do honour to your name.'
QUARK: Then what?
DAX: Well, either she accepts your offer or she has her bodyguard shatter every bone in your body.
QUARK: Sounds reasonable.

[Kira's room]

(Kira is getting an ankle massage.)
KIRA: Did your father just sit you down one day and say, right, Miles, it's time to teach you about massaging pregnant women.'
O'BRIEN: It's an O'Brien survival technique. My mother hated being pregnant. My father's massages were the only things that kept her from killing everyone.
KIRA: Sounds like me.
O'BRIEN: Pretty much. She didn't swear in Bajoran but she did like to use what she called descriptive phrases.
(Keiko enters with some clothes and a pair of boots.)
KIRA: Are those my uniforms?
KEIKO: Garak finished the alterations and sent these along. He guarantees the insoles will help your feet.
KIRA: Ow! Ow! Ow!
KEIKO: That wasn't very convincing. I think she's actually enjoying it, Miles. You'd better press harder if you want her to suffer.
O'BRIEN: Harder it is.
(Keiko leaves as O'Brien moves onto Kira's lower back.)
KIRA: Ow. You're a sadist, Miles Edward O'Brien. Was your father this cruel to your mother?
O'BRIEN: Worse. I'd swear sometimes you'd hear her screams halfway across Ireland. The neighbours didn't know whether to be worried or titillated.
(And onto the shoulders.)
KIRA: Here. You miss Ireland?
O'BRIEN: You know, if you'd asked me that a year ago, I would have said no. But lately, I don't know why, I've been daydreaming about home. Maybe I'm getting nostalgic in my old age.
KIRA: You've got leave coming. Take three weeks and go.
O'BRIEN: If I left, who'd give you foot massages?
KIRA: Take me along. I can think of worse things than spending three weeks in Ireland with you.
O'BRIEN: Me too.
(The massaging stops. Keiko enters again and now they're embarrassed.)
KEIKO: Don't stop on my account.
O'BRIEN: Oh. Right.

[Bridge]

(Klingon opera is playing through the comm. system, and Worf is singing along with the male lead)
FEMALE [OC]: BOOOOW-cha-daaay
WORF + MALE: KEEEY-cha-daaay
FEMALE [OC]: Me-YO-ca-BEEN-evaaa-kaa-MOOOOR
WORF + MALE: LIIING-tomaaa
(Quark enters)
FEMALE [OC]: Oh-ma-do-VEE-kos ZOOOOOOO!
WORF + MALE: Oh-ma-do-VEE-ko ZOOOOOOO!
QUARK: Ahem.
(Worf turns off the music.)
QUARK: I'm not going to ask. Look, I came here to thank you for last night. Grilka loved it. All of it. Everything I did, everything I said it was perfect.
WORF: So, I don't know anything about Klingon women.
QUARK: She said I had the heart of a Basai Master, whatever that is.
WORF: It is a poet.
QUARK: A poet? I guess I can live with that.
WORF: What else happened?
QUARK: She spent about an hour talking about her family history. A rather long and bloody tale, but what else is new? Then we ate the lingta, which tasted really bad, listened to some noise which she called Klingon music, and I left.
WORF: A perfect evening.
QUARK: Almost. Her bodyguard was giving me threatening looks all night.
WORF: That is to be expected. The idea of a Ferengi courting a great lady is offensive.
QUARK: You know, it's attitudes like that that keep you people from getting invited to all the really good parties.
WORF: The heart of a Basai Master. She said that?
QUARK: Could I make that up? I'm telling you, Worf, she responded perfectly. You really have the key to this woman's heart. The question is, can you help me unlock it?
WORF: Yes. I can. We have work to do.

[Holosuite - Hall of Warriors]

(Quark and Dax are playing Kahless and Lukara, and fighting enemies whilst Worf paces around. Dax dispatches her foe but Quark is about to be killed.)
DAX: Quark!
(The programme freezes. Dax signals an upward thrust. Quark takes the hint and kills his opponent on the resume.)
DAX: MoVas ah-kee rustak!
WORF: (prompting) Kosh tomah.
QUARK: Kosh tomoh I mean tomah ehpaq Lukara kaVeir.
DAX: Ish-tovee chuCH thling nuq?
QUARK: Besh besh-opar gree uchan argh. Besh opar gee urchun omaH te, te, te-doQ maugh-shta.
WORF: Enough. You say the words, but there is no feeling behind them, no passion.
QUARK: Having to learn all this Klingonese isn't helping my performance.
WORF: Do not think of it as a performance. Believe in where you are. Put yourself in this time, in this place. A thousand years ago, the dawn of the Empire, five hundred warriors storm the Great Hall at Qam-Chee. The city garrison fled before them. Only the Emperor Kahless and the Lady Lukara stood their ground. It was here that they began the greatest romance in Klingon history.
QUARK: This is ridiculous! I'm surrounded by corpses, my shoes are dripping with blood, and you want me to feel romantic? Why am I putting myself through this?
DAX: Because later that night, Kahless and Lukara jumped on each other like a pair of crazed voles. Grrr.
QUARK: Yeah? One more time.

[Security office]

ODO: This is the fourth theft of equipment from upper pylon three this month.
KIRA: I don't know how they keep doing it. We've changed the security protocols three times now.
ODO: It's not the security arrangements that are at fault here. It's our friend the Chief of Operations.
KIRA: Miles? What did he do?
ODO: It's what he's not doing. He still hasn't finished upgrading the structural integrity field on upper pylon three, so half the bulkheads are torn open. A child could find a way into those cargo bays.
KIRA: Look, Miles is a very busy man. He can't be everywhere at once.
ODO: Sometimes it seems as though he's not anywhere at all.
KIRA: He's doing a superb job under very difficult circumstances.
ODO: Oh. Growing fond of the Chief, are we?
KIRA: What are you talking about? I've always liked Miles.
ODO: You've always liked the Chief, but Miles is a different story.
KIRA: Look, I am living with him. I am carrying his baby. Don't you think that might change things a bit?
ODO: How so?
KIRA: We're closer. It's like I'm part of his family.
ODO: Which part?
KIRA: What?
ODO: Which part of his family are you? Sister? Daughter? Cousin?
KIRA: Could we concentrate on the criminal activities report?
ODO: Of course. And I'll refrain from making any further disparaging remarks about the Chief. I mean, Miles.

[Quark's]

THOPOK: This consorting with a Ferengi is outrageous!
TUMEK: You forget yourself, Thopok. You are the commander of the Lady's guard, nothing more. Do not presume to judge her.
(Quark and Grilka come downstairs in the costumes, laughing.)
GRILKA: Tumek. Maparian ale for two.
TUMEK: Mistress.
GRILKA: You are an interesting man.
QUARK: I've always thought so.
GRILKA: Not much of a fighter, of course. Fortunately for you they were only holo-warriors.
QUARK: Well, it's the thought that counts.
GRILKA: Yes, it is. And what are your thoughts, Quark? Why play out one of the most romantic scenes in Klingon literature for me? Why learn to speak Klingon and observe our customs? Why do you pursue me?
QUARK: I only pursue those things I wish to acquire.
GRILKA: Acquire? Now you sound like a Ferengi again.
QUARK: I am a Ferengi. That means I have a talent for appreciating objects of great value. And I believe you may be worth more than all the latinum in the quadrant.
GRILKA: My Kahless.
QUARK: My Lukara.
THOPOK: No!
(Thopok throws the table over and Quark with it.)
GRILKA: Mev'Yap Thopok!
THOPOK: Forgive me, mistress, but I cannot watch this any longer. I will not protect a House where you are welcome, Ferengi. You are a coward and a liar and you have no honour. So tomorrow you will kill me, or I will kill you.

[O'Brien's quarters]

KEIKO: Home two hours early? You'd better watch it. I'll get used to this.
O'BRIEN: Yep, they don't need me anymore. Home at seventeen hundred every evening.
KEIKO: You're such a bad liar.
(Kira enters and breaks up a kiss.)
KIRA: Hi.
KEIKO: Hi. Sit down. You look exhausted. Bad day? Miles, I think this woman needs one of your famous neck massages.
O'BRIEN: Er, my hands are pretty cold.
KIRA: I'm not in the mood anyway.
KEIKO: I can see the tension in your muscles from here.
KIRA: No thanks, really. Oh. I'm going to Bajor tomorrow, just for a few days.
KEIKO: Bajor?
KIRA: Yes. I thought I'd take the time and relax. A friend of mine has a house in Musilla Province. It's quiet, remote. No distractions.
O'BRIEN: Perfect. When do you leave?
KIRA: First thing in the morning.
KEIKO: Wait a minute. You can't go alone. What if you go into labour?
KIRA: Well, Julian doesn't think that's going to happen for another month.
KEIKO: But he doesn't know for sure. Miles, maybe you should go with her.
O'BRIEN: What?
KEIKO: I can't go. I have a botanical pathology seminar tomorrow. But you said yourself things are slow in Ops.
KIRA: I don't think that's such a good idea.
O'BRIEN: Me neither.
KEIKO: Miles Edward O'Brien, are you going to let the woman carrying your unborn child go on a trip all by herself?
(Kira and O'Brien look panic-stricken.)
KEIKO: Are you two fighting again?
O'BRIEN: No.
KIRA: Not at all.
KEIKO: Good. Then it's settled. Miles, let's pack your bag.

[Mess hall]

QUARK: What if I just do what I did the last time a Klingon wanted to kill me? I throw my sword away, kneel down in front of him and dare him to execute me. Yeah. He'll be humiliated and slink away like a scalded targ.
WORF: The only reason that worked was because Gowron stepped in and restrained your opponent before he was able to kill you. No one will stop Thopok. Dax and I aren't even able to attend.
QUARK: So my choices are to not show up, be branded a coward and lose Grilka, or die?
WORF: Yes.
QUARK: Oh, come on now! There has to be another way out of this! You people have rituals for everything except waste extraction. You must have a ceremony or a secret handshake or something I can do.
DAX: I have an idea.

[Holosuite]

(Quark and Dax fighting with bat'leths. Notice Quark is wearing one of those Ferengi head bands now. Worf is also fighting, on his own, wearing a VR device. Dax is defeated.)
DAX: Oh, congratulations. How do you feel?
QUARK: Like a puppet. And I have some complaints for the puppeteer. You nearly wrenched my arm out of its socket.
WORF: The movement would not have hurt if you were in better physical condition.
QUARK: Exercise makes me sweat.
DAX: You need to get some sleep.
(She turns of a device under his head band.)
DAX: If your body's tired tomorrow, Worf won't even be able to save you.
QUARK: Bedtime.
(Quark leaves)
WORF: I cannot believe the lengths I am going to for that Ferengi. I'm practically giving him Grilka.
DAX: What is it you see in her, anyway? I mean, she's attractive, but other than that?
WORF: It is everything about her. The way she carries herself, confident and strong. She commands those around her. The proud tilt of her head. The way her face betrays none of her true feelings. The power of her voice. And her eyes, as hard as separ gemstones and twice as sharp.
DAX: It sounds like you're describing a statue. What would you do with a woman like that? Put her up on a pedestal and clean her every week?
WORF: You do not understand.
DAX: If I were in your shoes, I would be looking for someone a little more entertaining, a little more fun, and maybe even a little more attainable.
WORF: You are not in my shoes.
DAX: Too bad. You'd be amazed at what I can do in a pair of size eighteen boots.

[Holosuite - Hall of Warriors]

(Grilka, Thopok and Tumek are waiting when Quark enters)

[Holosuite]

(Next door Worf is wearing the VR device and has a bat'leth.)
DAX: He's in position.

[Holosuite - Hall of Warriors]

TUMEK: Quark, son of Keldar, why are you here?
QUARK: To, to answer the
(Worf takes control and swings the bat'leth.)
QUARK: To answer the Challenge of Thopok, to prove my honour, and to win the favour of the Lady Grilka.
TUMEK: The challenge has been given and accepted. Let no one interfere. Mok!
(Thopok thrusts and Quark/Worf parries)
THOPOK: Where did you learn to fight with a bat'leth?
QUARK: I'm a man of many talents.
('Quark' goes on the offensive.)

[Holosuite]

(But as he does some fancy twirling, the tip of Worf's bat'leth catches an eyepiece on his device and it breaks.)

[Holosuite - Hall of Warriors]

(Quark is on his own.)
QUARK: No! Wait!

[Holosuite]

DAX: You damaged the optronic relay.
WORF: Can you repair it?
DAX: I don't know.

[Holosuite -Hall of Warriors]

THOPOK: Well?
QUARK: I claim the Right of Proclamation.
TUMEK: I've never heard of the Right of Proclamation.
QUARK: It is a Ferengi custom.
THOPOK: It has no place here!
QUARK: I beg to differ! I am as proud of my heritage as you are of yours and I will not be denied the opportunity to express myself according to Ferengi custom.
GRILKA: He has shown respect to our traditions. We will do the same. What do you need to do?
QUARK: I must make a speech.
GRILKA: About what?
QUARK: About you!
THOPOK: Get on with it.

[Holosuite]

WORF: (scanning the bulkhead.) I do not know how, but he is still alive. You must work faster.
DAX: I'm going as fast as I can.

[Holosuite - Hall of Warriors]

QUARK: To this end my blade soars through the aquarium of my soul, seeking the kelp of discontent which must be cut so that the rocky bottom of love lie in waiting with fertile sand for the coming seed of Grilka's affection. And yet, does this explain my need for her? No. It is like a giant cave of emptiness waiting for the bats of love to hang by
(Worf regains control)
QUARK: Well, I guess that's enough talking . Now back to the fighting.

[Holosuite]

DAX: No showing off this time, Worf. Just get it over with.
WORF: I was not showing off.

[Holosuite - Hall of Warriors]

(Thopok is disarmed and open)
THOPOK: End it!
QUARK: If you insist.
(But Worf can't make the kill)
QUARK: Maybe not. Maybe I'll pick up your sword.
(He kneels in front of Grilka, puts down his own bat'leth and Thopok's to Grilka.)
QUARK: And give it to you I guess.
GRILKA: Thopok, your honour is satisfied. I return your weapon and discharge you from my House.
TUMEK: My lady.
(Thopok and Tumek leave. Grilka takes Quark by the lapels)
GRILKA: Do-MACH ah chee ghos eh-PAGH?
(Quark/Worf grabs her throat. She starts to throttle him in return.)

[Holosuite]

(Dax disconnects Worf.)

[Holosuite - Hall of Warriors]

(Quark falls backwards with Grilka on top of him, looking very aroused.)

[Holosuite]

DAX: Congratulations. You did it.
WORF: What does she see in that parasite?
DAX: Who knows? But they're on the same wavelength, and at least Quark can see an opportunity when it's standing in front of him.
WORF: He would have to be blind not to see it.
DAX: MoVas ah-kee rustak. Computer, bat'leth. MoVas ah-kee rustak!
WORF: Kosh tomah ehpaq Lukara kaVeir.
DAX: Ish-tovee chuCH thling nuq?
WORF: Meklo boH ka Mech.
DAX: Te-doQ roos ka Mech-TOH.
(Worf gets the bat'leth off Dax but she throws him to the floor. They start to throttle each other, then he pulls her down onto him.)

[Runabout]

O'BRIEN: So I guess we're going.
KIRA: Looks like it.
O'BRIEN: Tell me about this house we're going to.
KIRA: It's a gorgeous two hundred year old cottage filled with antiques, sitting in the middle of a deep, dark forest. It's got three fireplaces, two balconies
O'BRIEN: I see.
KIRA: It's twenty kilometres to the nearest neighbour, thirty to the nearest town.
O'BRIEN: Why am I not surprised?
KIRA: It gets worse. There's a view.
O'BRIEN: Of what?
KIRA: Of the Holana river. You can see it from every room in the house. At night, when the stars are out and you can only hear rushing water, it may be one of the most romantic spots in all of Bajor.
O'BRIEN: That's it. I'm not going. I don't care what Keiko says, I'm not going. You go. I'll wait an hour and then I'll, I'll tell her that you left without me, that there was a miscommunication about the departure time.
KIRA: You think she'll buy it?
O'BRIEN: She'll probably accuse us of having another fight, of behaving like children, but I can handle that. The important thing is that we don't go anywhere near that place together.
KIRA: You're absolutely right. In fact, I'm going to go to the capital and see Shakaar.
O'BRIEN: That's the best idea you've had all week.
(They hug.)
O'BRIEN: Have a good trip.
KIRA: Thanks.
O'BRIEN: It would've been nice.
KIRA: In another life.
O'BRIEN: Let's not even think about it.
KIRA: All right, let's not. Miles?
O'BRIEN: Yes, Nerys?
KIRA: Get out.
O'BRIEN: Right.

[Infirmary]

(Quark is battered, bruised and happy)
BASHIR: A compound fracture of the right radius, two fractured ribs, torn ligaments, strained tendons, numerous contusions, bruises and scratches. What have you been doing?
QUARK: You mean, what have we been doing?
BASHIR: Never mind. I don't need that particular image running around in my head. I'll just treat you.
(Dax and Worf enter. His hair is dishevelled and they both have scratches.)
BASHIR: What happened to you two?
WORF: We, er.
DAX: Well, er, if you must know
BASHIR: No! No, er, I don't need that image either. In fact, I'm going to stop asking that question altogether. People can come in, I will treat them, and that's all. Please, have a seat. I'll be with you in a minute.
(Worf and Dax limp to a biobed.)
WORF: You do realise that according to Klingon tradition
DAX: According to tradition, we have to get married.
WORF: But as you keep insisting, you are not a traditional woman.
DAX: The truth is, Worf, at heart, you're not much of a traditional man.
WORF: You might be right. How do you wish to proceed?
DAX: I don't know.
WORF: You must have some idea. You were the
DAX: Aggressor?
WORF: Yes. And now there are questions that must be answered.
DAX: I don't feel like answering questions. Why don't we just take it one day at a time and see what happens?
WORF: I do not like the uncertainty of that arrangement.
DAX: One thing's for certain. You've stopped thinking about Grilka.

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