Badda-Bing, Badda-Bang
Stardate: Unknown
Original Airdate: 22 Feb, 1999

[Holosuite - Las Vegas lounge]

VIC: Sure I remember the Alamo.
BASHIR: See? Told you he would.
VIC: Laurence Harvey, Richard Widmark and John Wayne as Davy Crockett. Great battle scenes, nice sets, but way too long.
O'BRIEN: We're not talking about a movie.
BASHIR: No, we're talking about our holosuite programme.
VIC: Oh, that Alamo. What about it?
BASHIR: Well, we've got holosuite four reserved for an hour and we were wondering whether you'd like to join us.
VIC: Look fellas, I'm touched by the offer, but I don't know.
O'BRIEN: We can transfer your matrix to the Alamo programme.
BASHIR: You've got to leave of Vegas sometimes, right?
VIC: True, but I'm afraid I have to say no.
BASHIR: Why?
VIC: I don't look good in buckskin. Tell you what I'll do though. How about a little tune to get you into a Texas state of mind. Fellas, Alamo. (singing) Standing around by the Alamo. Walking around in San Antonio. Looking around for a new kind of love.
(Zing and the place subtly changes to something less swanky and classy. The band is hopeless and the audience boos him.)
VIC: Baby I'm lonesome tonight. History abounds by the famous fort.
MAN: Get him off!
(The music changes to burlesque and on come the aggressive looking showgirls.)
MAN: Come on, step down, ya hack. Oh, honey. Show me, show me!
VIC: What the hell?
BASHIR: What is all this?
VIC: Don't ask me.
O'BRIEN: Maybe there's a pointer fault in the holosuite's parameter file.
FRANKIE: Well, look who's here. The pretty boy singer himself.
VIC: Frankie Eyes. What are you doing in Vegas?
FRANKIE: What happened to 'Hello, Frankie, long time no see. Make yourself at home. Can I get you anything?' You believe this guy?
CICCI: (the muscle) No manners.
FRANKIE: Were you born in a barn or something?
BASHIR: This gentleman a friend of yours?
VIC: We know each other.
FRANKIE: We're a long way from South Philly, ain't we, Vic?
VIC: So, are you here on business or pleasure?
FRANKIE: Let's just say I'm here to stay, while you, Vicky boy, are about to take a powder.
VIC: I'm not going anywhere.
FRANKIE: I got news for you, pal. I just bought this hotel. You're history.
VIC: You can't fire me. I have a contract.
FRANKIE: And you can paper your walls with it. You're finished in this town, Vic.
VIC: You're blackballing me?
FRANKIE: As of this moment, you couldn't get a job as a singing busboy. Now are you going to walk out of here, or do you have to be carried out? Makes no difference to me.
O'BRIEN: Let me handle this. Computer. Delete characters Frankie Eyes and I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name.
CICCI: Cicci. (pronounced Cheech.)
O'BRIEN: And Cicci from the holosuite's programme.
(Nothing happens.)
CICCI: What's a holosuites?
FRANKIE: Beats me.
BASHIR: They're still here, Chief.
O'BRIEN: Computer, freeze programme. There must be a little problem in the character deletion algorithm.
(Cicci takes Vic by the lapels.)
CICCI: I'll show you the door.
VIC: Make that a big problem.
FRANKIE: What's it going to be, pallie?
VIC: I guess I start packing.
FRANKIE: Smart boy. All right, Cicci, come on. Let's check out my casino.
(Frankie and Cicci leave.)
BASHIR: So what do we do now?
VIC: Nothing we can do. Frankie's a made man, capisce?
BASHIR: I'm not talking about Frankie, I'm talking about fixing the entire programme.
O'BRIEN: Well, we could shut it down manually and reset it. But that would wipe Vic's memory. He'd forget everything that's happened since we first activated him.
VIC: Oh, hold on, pallie. Nobody's wiping my memory.
BASHIR: Of course not. There must be some other way.
O'BRIEN: I wish I knew what it was.
BASHIR: Better talk to Felix. After all, he was the one who designed this programme.
VIC: You do that.
O'BRIEN: In the meantime, you stay out of the way of Frankie Eyes.
VIC: You'll get no argument from me.

[Ops]

NOG: I'll tell you one thing, if this Frankie Eyes hurts Vic in any way, he's going to have to answer to me.
WORF: I do not understand how you could feel such loyalty for a hologram.
NOG: He's not just a hologram, he's my friend.
O'BRIEN: Don't you like Vic?
WORF: As a singer, I find him entertaining. But beyond that, I neither like him nor dislike him. He is a hologram, and therefore he does not exist.
KIRA: He does for me.
(Bashir arrives and Worf leaves.)
BASHIR: I just talked to Felix. I know what's been affecting Vic's programme. It's a jack in the box.
NOG: A what?
O'BRIEN: A jack in the box. It's a children's toy on Earth. You wind it up and a figure jumps out and goes Boo!
BASHIR: Except this type of jack in the box is different.
NOG: It doesn't go Boo?
BASHIR: No, this surprise is buried deep in the holosuite programme.
O'BRIEN: It's meant to shake things up, you know? Make things interesting.
NOG: I wasn't bored. Were you?
KIRA: Not at all. I liked Vic's the way it was.
BASHIR: According to Felix, if we get rid of Frankie Eyes, everything resets back to the way it was.
KIRA: That's good to know.
NOG: So how do we get rid of Frankie Eyes?
BASHIR: That's up to us. But Felix did warn me the programme is period specific.
O'BRIEN: In other words, if we shoot him, we have to use a forty five automatic and not a phaser.
BASHIR: We can't shoot Frankie, it's too dangerous.
O'BRIEN: The mob could retaliate against Vic.
BASHIR: If anything happens to Vic, his matrix will be eliminated from the programme. Permanently.
NOG: The news just keeps getting better, doesn't it?
SISKO: What news?
KIRA: Oh, nothing, sir. We're talking about a holosuite programme.
BASHIR: Vic Fontaine's hotel's just been bought by gangsters.
SISKO: I see. When do you plan on to going back to work?
O'BRIEN: Right away, sir.
(Sisko leaves.)
NOG: Whatever you decide to do, Chief, count me in. I owe Vic. I thought losing my leg was the end of my Starfleet career. He taught me otherwise.
KIRA: He changed my life, too. And Odo's.
BASHIR: Now all we need is a plan.

[Sisko's quarters]

(Home-cooked meal.)
KASIDY: Your daddy would be proud.
SISKO: My daddy taught me everything I know.
KASIDY: How nice.
SISKO: So, how was your day?
KASIDY: It's getting better.
SISKO: Something happen?
KASIDY: It's Vic.
SISKO: Vic?
KASIDY: Vic Fontaine. A gangster named Frankie Eyes took over his lounge. The whole place has changed and no one's sure how to change it back. What?
SISKO: Nothing.
KASIDY: I guess this sounds pretty silly to you.
SISKO: A little.
KASIDY: You have to understand, Vic isn't just another holosuite programme. He's more like a friend.
SISKO: Kasidy, can we talk about something else?
KASIDY: Sure. How come you've never been to Vic's?
SISKO: Does it matter? You like going there and I don't. Let's leave it at that.
KASIDY: I was only asking.
SISKO: And I gave you my answer.
KASIDY: There are times when I just can't figure you out.
SISKO: Well, maybe that's part of the attraction.
KASIDY: Believe that if you want to.

[Holosuite- outside Vic's hotel suite]

(Room 107 if you're interested.)
VIC [OC]: Who is it?
O'BRIEN: It's Miles and Julian.
VIC [OC]: Just a minute.
(The door rattles and then is unlocked, and a very beaten up Vic appears.)
VIC: You wouldn't happen to have an ice pack on you, would you?

[Holosuite- Vic's hotel suite]

(It's a wreck. Bashir is checking Vic for broken ribs.)
VIC: Hey, pallie, whose side are you on?
BASHIR: I'm sorry, but you have three bruised ribs here and your left wrist is sprained. The good news is your skull is still in one piece.
(O'Brien brings a damp towel.)
BASHIR: Thanks.
VIC: I feel better already. A jack in the box. I can't believe Felix would do that to me.
BASHIR: Oh, don't take it personally. He was just trying to do me a favour by not letting things get too boring.
VIC: I thought that was my job.
BASHIR: Oh, and you're great at it. You know we love ya.
O'BRIEN: So, you going to tell us what happened?
VIC: I slipped in the bathtub.
O'BRIEN: And knocked over this furniture looking for a bandage, right?
VIC: Something like that. Frankie sent Tony Cicci to pay me a little visit. He wanted to remind me not to take too long packing.
O'BRIEN: What is it with you and Frankie?
VIC: It goes back to the old neighbourhood when we were kids. I used to beat him at stickball.
BASHIR: And?
VIC: And nothing. We've been rivals ever since.
O'BRIEN: That Felix, huh. When he designs a holosuite programme, he doesn't fool around.
VIC: Tell me about it.
BASHIR: Now you should get some rest. Maybe take a little vacation.
VIC: A vacation? Did you guys take a vacation when the Dominion took over DS Nine?
O'BRIEN: It's not the same thing.
VIC: It is to me. This is my life, remember? I don't run at the first sign of trouble.
BASHIR: We're not asking you to run anywhere. We just want you to stay out of sight while we come up with a plan.
VIC: What plan?
O'BRIEN: How to get rid of Frankie Eyes.
BASHIR: Odo and Kira are down in the lounge right now.
VIC: Doing what?
O'BRIEN: Checking up on Frankie. We need to find his weak spot.
VIC: I hope you know what you're getting me into. If you guys screw up, I'm the one who winds up buried in the desert.

[Holosuite - Las Vegas lounge]

(The girls are on stage doing the chair routine from Cabaret.)
KIRA: Let me guess, you'll look around here while I check out the casino?
ODO: Oh. Er. If you'd prefer, I'll go and
KIRA: Enjoy yourself. Just remember, we have a job to do.
(Kira leaves.)
ODO: Of course.
(Odo goes to the bar where Cicci is holding forth to other gangsters.)
CICCI: Then I drive him out to the woods. Badda bing badda bang. Three in back of the head, that's the end of little Paulie. So what do you think Frankie says when I report back in? Little Paulie? Nah, I told you to pop Big Paulie! That's the problem with our business, too many guys named Paulie.

[Holosuite- Casino]

(Kira is playing blackjack, badly. Queen and six showing.)
KIRA: Hit me. (eight) I'm done.
FRANKIE: Not so fast. What kind of card is that to give such a pretty lady. Hit her again.
KIRA: Isn't that against the rules?
FRANKIE: Don't worry about it. Double your bet.
(Dealer gives a ten.)
FRANKIE: Twenty six? What's wrong with you? Again. (queen) You're starting to aggravate me, pal. (five) Twenty one, finally. Pay the lady.
DEALER: Yes, sir.
FRANKIE: If I were you, I'd quit while I was ahead. The name's Frank Chalmers, but everyone calls me Frankie Eyes.
KIRA: Why's that?
FRANKIE: Because I don't miss a trick.
KIRA: You're very sure of yourself.
FRANKIE: Doubt is for losers.
KIRA: And quite a philosopher.
FRANKIE: Well, I'm thinking of writing a book.
KIRA: What's the title?
FRANKIE: Well, maybe you can help me think one up.
KIRA: My talents lie in other directions.
FRANKIE: Good title. Mind if I use it?
KIRA: I'd say you already paid for it.
FRANKIE: So what do you say we hit the roulette table and see if I can't buy Chapter One.

[Holosuite - Las Vegas lounge]

CICCI: Hey, Max, Max, come over here. I want you to see this.
(Odo stretches his arm to reach a glass just out of reach.)
CICCI: Can you believe it? He did it again. Buddy, I've been hanging out in bars for twenty years. I ain't never seen a stunt like that.
ODO: There's nothing to it, really.
CICCI: Hear that? The guy's the eighth wonder of the world and he says there's nothing to it. So where you from again?
ODO: Bajor.
CICCI: That's in Jersey, right?
ODO: Right.
CICCI: Max, Max, another round for my friend here.

[Holosuite- Vic's hotel suite]

(The Gang's all here - Nog, Ezri, Bashir, Kasidy, O'Brien, Odo and Kira.)
ODO: Turns out Frankie Eyes was sent to Vegas by a man named Carl Zeemo.
VIC: Looks like Frankie's moving up in the world.
KIRA: You know Mister Zeemo?
VIC: Been around forever. Likes to pretend he's a sweet old man, but he's meaner than a junkyard dog. It's is all starting to make sense. I knew Frankie didn't have the money to buy a hotel.
EZRI: But Zeemo does.
VIC: More than enough. This is going to be a pretty sweet deal for him. The casino's bringing in about a million bucks a month. Cash. And out of that, Zeemo expects to be sent a couple of hundred grand.
ODO: That would be the skim.
VIC: Right off the top. Tax free. Frankie's got nothing to worry about. All he's got to do is send Mister Zeemo his cut.
KIRA: According to Frankie, Mister Zeemo's coming into town in about six days to pick up his first payment. He's never been to Vegas and he wants to look over his newest acquisition.
O'BRIEN: What would happen to Frankie if he didn't give Zeemo his skim?
VIC: Frankie's not that dumb.
BASHIR: Miles, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
O'BRIEN: That depends on what you're thinking.
BASHIR: All we have to do is see to it that Mister Zeemo doesn't sees a penny of that money.
EZRI: Are you talking about robbing the casino?
O'BRIEN: That's what I was thinking.
KASIDY: Isn't that dangerous?
VIC: Stealing from the mob? You bet it is. You get caught and I kiss the world goodbye.
O'BRIEN: Then the trick is not to get caught.
VIC: You guys are nuts, you know that? Besides, the money's kept in a safe.
NOG: What kind of safe?
VIC: I don't know. It's in the countroom and there's a guard outside the door twenty four hours a day. And even if you did get past him, there's still that little problem of the two countmen inside.
KIRA: I'll get a look at the safe.
BASHIR: We'll figure out a way to take out the guard.
KASIDY: And the countmen.
EZRI: And anything else that comes along.
O'BRIEN: Then we're agreed?
BASHIR: Absolutely.
KIRA: I'm in.
ODO: Me, too.
KASIDY: Sure.
EZRI: Okay.
NOG: Let's do it.
VIC: Wait a minute. Let me get this straight. You're going to knock over the casino and swipe a cool million from the mob?
O'BRIEN: Vic, you want your lounge back or not?
VIC: Deal me in.

[Holosuite- Countroom]

(The cash from the casino is being emptied onto the table.)
FRANKIE: Have you ever seen a prettier shade of green?
KIRA: Looks like you had a profitable night.
FRANKIE: And the night's not over.
(He picks up a hundred dollar bill.)
KIRA: Is this for me or am I just keeping it warm for you?
FRANKIE: It's all yours, baby. And there's more where that came from.
(He leans in for a kiss)
KIRA: I'll take your word for it.
FRANKIE: What are you looking at?
AL: Nothing.
FRANKIE: Just keep counting. After you, sweetheart.

[Holosuite- Casino]

(Kasidy is playing a slot machine and talking to the guard by the countroom door)
KASIDY: Are you sure you didn't go to high school in Asheville, North Carolina?
GUARD: Yeah, I'm positive.
KASIDY: That's funny. You look just like the captain of our football team. I had such a crush on him.
GUARD: Well, actually, I did play a little football.
KASIDY: I knew it. You have the body of an athlete.

[Holosuite - Las Vegas lounge]

CICCI: You call this a cheesesteak? I wouldn't feed this to my parole officer.
ODO: Excuse me, Cicci. Could I have a word with you?
CICCI: Just a second, please. Now I want a cheesesteak and I don't care if you got to fly to Philadelphia to get me one.
(Cicci rams the sub into the hapless waiter's mouth. The waiter flees.)
CICCI: A guy can starve to death in this town.
ODO: Ezri, this is Tony Cicci.
EZRI: Nice to meet you.
CICCI: The pleasure is all mine.
ODO: Ezri's new in town. She needs a job.
EZRI: I'm a very good waitress.
CICCI: Ah. You wouldn't happen to have a slice of pizza on you?
EZRI: No, but I could go the kitchen and get you one.
CICCI: That chef wouldn't know a good pizza if it hit him right in the face. Consider yourself gainfully employed.
EZRI: Really? That's wonderful.
ODO: Thanks, Cicci. I owe you one.
CICCI: Ah, don't mention it, Stretch. Maybe one of these days you'll show me the
(Vic enters.)
CICCI: I don't believe it.
VIC: Take it easy, pallie. Take it easy. I'm not looking for trouble.
CICCI: That's a relief.
VIC: I'm here to see Frankie. I want to try to work things out with him. You know, let bygones be bygones.

[Holosuite- Casino]

VIC: Frankie, I'm dying here. The Sands, the Dunes, the DI, no one will even return my call.
FRANKIE: Tell me something I don't know.
VIC: There's got to be a way for us to bury the hatchet.
FRANKIE: I already did. In your head.
VIC: Frankie you want me to beg? I'll beg. Give me a chance to make things right. I know people, people with dough. High rollers. I could bring 'em into the casino.
FRANKIE: What? You want to be my shill?
VIC: I'm talking about people who can drop ten, twenty, thirty big ones a night.
KIRA: Give him what he wants, Frankie. I can't take much more of his whining.
FRANKIE: Bring in a couple of players, then we'll talk.
VIC: That's all I ask. Let me buy you a drink.
FRANKIE: I don't drink with losers. Come on, dollface. Let's warm up the poker table.
CICCI: Welcome back.

[Sisko's quarters]

SISKO: You're in charge of what?
KASIDY: Of distracting the guard so that we can sneak someone into the countroom.
SISKO: Kasidy, I can't believe you're involved in this thing. The whole thing is ridiculous.
KASIDY: I guess that means you're not going to wish me luck.
SISKO: And you're telling me that virtually my entire senior staff is a part of this nonsense?
KASIDY: You're supposed to help your friends when they're in trouble. And Vic, hologram or not, is in trouble. Not that I'd expect you to care.
SISKO: Look, this is not about Vic Fontaine.
KASIDY: Then what is your problem?
SISKO: You want to know? You really want to know what my problem is? I'll tell you. Las Vegas nineteen sixty two, that's my problem. In nineteen sixty two, black people weren't very welcome there. Oh, sure they could be performers or janitors, but customers? Never.
KASIDY: Maybe that's the way it was in the real Vegas, but that is not the way it is at Vic's. I have never felt uncomfortable there and neither has Jake.
SISKO: But don't you see, that's the lie. In nineteen sixty two, the Civil Rights movement was still in its infancy. It wasn't an easy time for our people and I'm not going to pretend that it was.
KASIDY: Baby, I know that Vic's isn't a totally accurate representation of the way things were, but it isn't meant to be. It shows us the way things could have been. The way they should've been.
SISKO: We cannot ignore the truth about the past.
KASIDY: Going to Vic's isn't going to make us forget who we are or where we came from. What it does is it reminds us that we're no longer bound by any limitations, except the ones we impose on ourselves.

[Holosuite- Vic's hotel suite]

KASIDY: What about Worf?
KIRA: Oh, he'll never agree to it.
EZRI: There's always Quark.
ODO: I'm not sure he'd help. He thinks of you as his competition.
(Knock on the door.)
NOG: I'll get it.
O'BRIEN: Better get this out of sight.
(The blackboard with the plan of the casino on it goes onto the balcony.)
EZRI: There's one little problem. We're still one man short.
BASHIR: We need a high roller with Vic at the craps table. Someone to gather a crowd, keep attention away from the countroom.
O'BRIEN: Otherwise the whole plan falls apart.
(Nog opens the door.)
SISKO: And we certainly can't let that happen. Now, exactly what do you need me to do?
(Later, much later, Bashir is finishing the pretzels.)
VIC: Let's go over it one more time.
NOG: Do we have to? Everyone knows what they have to do, right?
EZRI: It's all pretty simple really.
VIC: Hey, far be it from me to tell Starfleet officers how to do their jobs.
O'BRIEN: Robbing casinos isn't part of any Starfleet job description I've ever read.
KIRA: We can't afford to make any mistakes.
SISKO: And we're not going to. Take us through it again.
VIC: You got it, pallie. It all begins with you.

[Holosuite - Las Vegas lounge]

(Kira is with Frankie Eyes.)
VIC [OC]: Keeping Frankie Eyes away from the casino and the countroom.

[Holosuite - Casino]

(Craps table)
VIC [OC]: Meanwhile, the Captain and I will be laying down some heavy bread over at the craps table. Enough to draw a crowd.
SISKO [OC]: Where are we going to get that kind of money?
VIC [OC]: I put a little away for a rainy day. Now each night, at precisely eleven forty five.
SISKO [OC]: Al, one of the countmen, takes a break to call home.
(Al goes to a pay phone.)
SISKO [OC]: He never varies his routine. He's gone for eight minutes every night.
VIC [OC]: During those six minutes, Howard, the other countman, has a martini brought in.
(Ezri is a cocktail waitress.)
EZRI [OC]: That's where I come in. But first, I make a stop at poker table three where I hand a drink to Julian.
BASHIR [OC]: And I slip a few drops of ipecac into Howard's.
EZRI [OC]: After which, I continue on to the countroom.

[Holosuite- Countroom]

(Howard makes sure Ezri has to lean forward in front of him to put the tray down on a clear space.)
EZRI [OC]: I set the tray down and leave.

[Holosuite - Casino]

VIC [OC]: Once Ezri's out of the countroom
KASIDY [OC]: I go running up to the guard and tell him Chief O'Brien has stolen my chips.
VIC [OC]: Do whatever you need to do to keep him distracted. And don't be afraid to turn on the waterworks. And Chief, you play innocent.
O'BRIEN [OC]: I am innocent! I've never seen this woman before in my life.
VIC [OC]: That's the ticket. Now remember, the two of you have to keep that guard away from the door for at least two minutes.
BASHIR [OC]: Once he takes a sip of his drink, Howard'll come flying out of that countroom at warp speed.
NOG [OC]: Which is where I come in.
(Nog the maintenance man slips inside the countroom.)

[Holosuite- Countroom]

VIC [OC]: You and those fabulous Ferengi ears of yours.
(Nog goes to the safe and starts cracking the five digit code.)
NOG [OC]: And once I've opened the safe.
ODO [OC]: you'll need someplace to put all that money.
(The drinks tray morphs into Odo with a large suitcase.)
VIC [OC]: You're going to be surprised how much a million bucks weighs.
ODO [OC]: I think I can handle it.
(Nog takes off his overalls to become a security guard.)

[Holosuite- Casino]

VIC [OC]: When you walk into the casino, don't talk to anyone. Don't even look at anyone. And whatever you do, don't run. Just head for the exit and dump the cash in the garbage cans outside. With no money, there's no skim to give to Mister Zeemo, and old Frankie becomes yesterday's news.
BASHIR [OC]: And everything returns to normal

[Holosuite- Vic's hotel suite]

BASHIR: And we pop open the champagne.
VIC: Music to my ears, pallie.
SISKO: Eight minutes. That's how long we have to get into the countroom, open the safe, grab the money, and then get out again.
BASHIR: I bet we do it in five.
NOG: When do we pull off the caper?
KASIDY: The sooner, the better.
EZRI: Zeemo's due in two days.
SISKO: Then we have no choice. We go tomorrow night.
VIC: Hey. Crazy.

[Infirmary]

(Blue dye is put into a liquid. A quick stir and it's gone.)
O'BRIEN: That was fast.
BASHIR: It has to be.

[Wardroom]

(Nog is practising safe cracking.)
EZRI: Two minutes, fourteen seconds.
NOG: I've got to do a lot better than that.
EZRI: Right.
NOG: (resets the tumblers.) Go.

[Kira's quarters]

(Odo zips Kira into another tight evening gown.)

[Sisko's quarters]

(Sisko practices throwing dice.)
KASIDY: Better finish getting dressed. It's almost time.

[Promenade]

(Ocean's Eleven, sorry, Fontaine's Eight, head for Quarks.)

[Quark's]

QUARK: I'm telling you, Morn. Something's going on in Vic's that we don't know about.

[Holosuite - Las Vegas lounge]

FRANKIE: Looking good, as usual, dollface.
KIRA: I'm glad you like what you see.
FRANKIE: I only wish I could see more.
KIRA: Well you know what they say, good things come to those who wait.
FRANKIE: Who are they and how much of you have they seen?
KIRA: I never kiss and tell.
FRANKIE: I bet you don't.

[Holosuite- Casino]

(Kasidy and O'Brien are playing blackjack.)
KASIDY: Oh, nineteen. Let's if see you can beat that.
(Dealer doesn't.)
KASIDY: Twenty three. You're busted.
(Bashir is playing poker and trying to be Sean Connery.)
BASHIR: Vodka martini. Stirred, not shaken.
EZRI: Right away, sir.
ROULETTE: Winner seventeen black.
(Over at the craps table.)
SISKO: Ten thousand.
CROUPIER: Good luck to you, sir. Make your bets. High low bets.
VIC: A hundred dollars?
SISKO: Too much?
VIC: You're supposed to be a high roller, so start rolling. Make it two thousand.
SISKO: Two thousand.

[Holosuite - Las Vegas lounge]

FRANKIE: What do you say we blow some of my money at the crap table?
KIRA: Maybe later. Right now, I want you to buy me a drink. We can play footsies under the table.
FRANKIE: Footsies? I guess that's a start.

[Holosuite - Casino]

(Al comes out to make his phone call.)
VIC: We have lift off.
(Ezri heads over to Bashir with her tray, but a man sends it flying.)
EZRI: Oh, I'm so sorry.
BASHIR: Don't worry about it. You're too kind.
(He grabs two martinis off another tray, doses one and takes the other for himself.)
CROUPIER: Coming out now, new shooter.
SISKO: Here's where things get interesting. Come on, seven.

[Holosuite- Countroom]

EZRI: You're not Howard.
COUNTMAN: He's out with the flu.
(Familiar? It's Robert O'Reilly aka Gowron.)
EZRI: Oh. This drink must be yours, then.
COUNTMAN: I'm not thirsty.
EZRI: But
COUNTMAN: Hey, you're making me lose count.
EZRI: Sorry. You mind if I drink that? I've been on my feet for hours and I could really use a little pick me up.
COUNTMAN: That's about the saddest story I ever heard.
(And he drinks it himself)

[Holosuite- Casino]

CROUPIER: Place your bets.
SISKO: Let it ride, let it ride.
(Vic and O'Brien see Ezri come out of the countroom.)
KASIDY: You have to help me. That man. That man right there. He stole a stack of my chips.
GUARD: Hey, you! Stop right there!
O'BRIEN: Who, me?
GUARD: The lady says you stole her chips.
O'BRIEN: I did no such thing.
KASIDY: Liar! I'm telling you, he took them. You're a thief!
O'BRIEN: And you're drunk,
KASIDY: I am not.
GUARD: Hey, hey, let's just calm down, okay?
KASIDY: Not until I get my money!
O'BRIEN: What money?
KASIDY: The money you stole.
O'BRIEN: I told you, I never touched your money.
KASIDY: Liar.
(The countman rushes out to the bathroom and Nog gets in safely.)

[Holosuite- Countroom]

(Odo morphs as Nog starts working the tumbler.)
NOG: Uh oh.
ODO: What do you mean, uh oh. We don't have time for uh oh.
NOG: This safe. It has an auto-relock tumbler. Kira didn't mention anything about an auto-relock tumbler.
ODO: Well she obviously didn't know about it.
NOG: We're not going to have enough time.
ODO: Keep working.

[Holosuite - Las Vegas lounge]

FRANKIE: This is the hand that shook the hand of Bugsy Siegel, the man that built Las Vegas. I'm telling you, he was a visionary. And is there even one statue of the guy in this town?
KIRA: There's no justice.
FRANKIE: You can say that again. Sure you don't want to play the tables for a while?
KIRA: I'm perfectly content right here.
FRANKIE: Who am I to argue with a lady?

[Holosuite - Casino]

KASIDY: What are you standing around for? Arrest him! I told you he took two hundred dollars worth of chips from me.
O'BRIEN: How come I've only got five bucks on me?
KASIDY: Don't believe him.
O'BRIEN: I'm telling you. This broad ain't playing with a full deck.
KASIDY: And just what is that supposed to mean?
O'BRIEN: What do you think it means?
SISKO: Beginner's luck. For the dealers.
VIC: Six minutes.
SISKO: I wonder what's taking them so long.
AL: I've got to go. I'm running late. This Frankie
(And Nog still can't get the safe open. Odo checks his watch.)

[Holosuite - Las Vegas lounge]

(Kira checks her watch.)
FRANKIE: You in some kind of hurry?
KIRA: Me?
FRANKIE: You keep staring at that watch.
KIRA: Really? I hadn't noticed.
FRANKIE: And your drink. You haven't touched it.
KIRA: Oh, well, the night is young. I've got to pace myself.
FRANKIE: Pace yourself? For what?
CICCI: Frankie, there's someone here to see you.
FRANKIE: I'm busy.
ZEEMO: You don't look busy.
(A wizened old guy with a young blonde bimbo on his arm.)
FRANKIE: Mister Zeemo. We weren't expecting you until tomorrow.
ZEEMO: I'm early. Any problem with that?
FRANKIE: No, not at all. Sit down, have a drink.
ZEEMO: We'll have a drink later. Where's the er, where's the countroom.
FRANKIE: Follow me.
KIRA: Mister Zeemo. It's a great honour to meet you.
ZEEMO: I know.
KIRA: Frankie has told me so much about you.
ZEEMO: Frankie.
FRANKIE: Yeah.
ZEEMO: The money, Frankie.
FRANKIE: Right this way.
ZEEMO: Let's go. Come on.

[Holosuite- Countroom]

ODO: Nog, it's been eight minutes. We're running out of time.
(Still no success.)

[Holosuite- Casino]

(Al is still trying to end the phone call, and finally does. Bashir has a full house, Kings over eights.)
BASHIR: I fold. Excuse me. Your name's Al, right?
AL: Who wants to know?
BASHIR: Frankie Eyes.
AL: Frankie Eyes?
BASHIR: He's waiting for you out back.
AL: For what? I didn't do nothing.
BASHIR: Then you have nothing to worry about.
(Al leaves.)
VIC: You gotta be kidding me
SISKO: Now what? Zeemo!
VIC: He's a day early. Keep playing, I'll try to stall them.
VIC: Nina? Nina, is that you?
ZEEMO: Who's this?
FRANKIE: Nobody. Hey, Vic, take a walk.
VIC: Where you been keeping yourself, baby?
BLONDE: Do I know you?
VIC: Do you know me? Don't you remember that week in Miami? Ever see what she looks like in a bikini? Oh, mamma mia.
ZEEMO: When were you in Miami?
BLONDE: I don't know what he's talking about.
VIC: Who's this? Your grandpa?
ZEEMO: Frankie.
FRANKIE: Cicci!
CICCI: Now you've done it.
FRANKIE: Bury him. So long, sucker.
ZEEMO: Frankie, I'm waiting for the money.
FRANKIE: Yes, all right. Right this way.
SISKO: Tonight everyone's a winner.
(Sisko throws dollar bills into the air. Chaos as the blonde and Cicci start grabbing. Bashir throws his notes too. The safe's still not opening.)
ZEEMO: What's this? What's going on?

[Holosuite - Countroom]

(Clunk!)
NOG: Piece of cake.
(Odo loads up his hand-suitcase.)

[Holosuite - Casino]

O'BRIEN: Can I go now?
KASIDY: You aren't going anywhere! Don't let him leave.
GUARD: Charlie, over here. Take this gentleman to security.
KASIDY: But I wanted you to handle this.
GUARD: I'm afraid I can't leave my post. Charlie, strip search.
O'BRIEN: Strip search?
(O'Brien is led away as Odo and Nog come out of the countroom. Kasidy bursts into tears in the guard's arms to stop him turning around and seeing them.)
GUARD: There, there, it's not worth all that.
KASIDY: I needed that money to buy a gift for my mother.
(Odo and Nog take a back way out. Kasidy leaves the guard.)
ZEEMO: Funny way to run a casino.
KIRA: What are you waiting for, Frankie? Why don't you show Mister Zeemo to the countroom.
ZEEMO: Well you heard the lady.
FRANKIE: I'm telling you, Mister Zeemo, buying this casino was the smartest move you ever made. We're making money hand over fist.

[Holosuite- Countroom]

FRANKIE: I just hope you brought a big enough briefcase.
(We look at them through the empty safe.)
ZEEMO: Where's my money?

[Holosuite - Las Vegas lounge]

(Zeemo's muscle escort Frankie and Cicci past Bashir, Nog, Ezri, Odo, Kira, Sisko, Kasidy and Vic at the bar. As soon as they go through the door the proper lounge returns.)
VIC: Now that's more like it.
ODO: Say goodbye to Frankie Eyes.
KIRA: You can tell Felix that we shut the lid on his jack in the box.
BASHIR: With pleasure.
VIC: Ladies and gentlemen, the bubbly's on me.
BASHIR: Thanks. Vic.
ODO: Hear, hear.
(O'Brien enters, putting his jacket on.)
BASHIR: Where've you been?
O'BRIEN: I don't want to talk about it.
(They all raise their glasses.)
VIC: The next time you two fight the battle of the Alamo, count me in. Coonskin cap and all.
BASHIR: You got it, pallie.
VIC: To the best friends a hologram ever had.
BASHIR: Hear, hear.
O'BRIEN: Cheers.
VIC: I owe you, big time.
BASHIR: Cheers, Vic.
EZRI: Cheers.
VIC: Okay, fellas, let's do it. Captain? You'll join me?
KIRA: What?
Vic and Sisko sing 'The Best is Yet to Come'. Nice.)

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