Time and the Rani

Original Airdate: 7 Sep, 1987

Part One

[Tardis]

(A series of energy bolts hit the Tardis while it is in flight. We go inside to see Mel and the Doctor lying unconcious on the floor. The exercise bike collapses. An reptile-descended lifeform watches a rainbow swoosh across the sky then the Tardis lands in a rocky landscape. The doors open and the Rani enters, carrying a ray gun.)
RANI: Leave the girl. It's the man I want. Take him to my laboratory.
(The Rani leaves, and her giant hairy bat servant rolls the Doctor over onto his back just as his features finish regenerating. Everyone say Hi! to my second-favourite Doctor - Sylvester McCoy.)

[Genius room]

(Built into a cliff face. Another of the local lifeforms is gently lying a familiar human with wild grey hair and moustache onto a couch in an cabinet. She is overseen by an older male. The Rani enters.)
RANI: Sarn, stop dithering. Collecting this one has already put me behind schedule.
SARN: I don't want to harm him.
RANI: Seal it and label it.
(Sarn activates the cabinet. The couch slides in and a transparent door comes down.)
RANI: Well, what are you waiting for?
BEYUS: You haven't given the name for the label.
RANI: Einstein.
(Einstein lights up above the cabinet.)
RANI: Insolence could cost your people dearly, Beyus.
SARN: I'm sure Beyus did not mean to appear insolent. He would never do that.
RANI: I find your incompetence more than enough without listening to your puerile opinions.
BEYUS: Then why not let Sarn go. You have me as a hostage, you don't need her.
RANI: I shall decide my needs. They unfortunately require the use of Lakertyans.
BEYUS: You leave me with no illusions about the hatred that you hold for us.
RANI: Hatred? Another fantasy. I have no feelings one way or the other. Outside of these experiments you have absolutely no significance.
BEYUS: I find your detachment difficult to understand.
RANI: All you need understand is that these specimens are geniuses, every one of them. And unless they're kept in prime condition, you'll have more than the miserable skin of this creature to worry about.
BEYUS: Have you managed to procure the means to repair your laboratory equipment?
RANI: Oh yes, indeed I have.

[The Rani's laboratory]

(She walks into the main part of her lair. The Doctor is lying across a square table, with a multicoloured but normal size umbrella by his outstretched left arm. The Rani checks his pupil response and his heartbeats, then goes to a steep flight of stairs, presses a button to open the door at the top and starts to climb.)
DOCTOR: No, no, Mel.
(The Rani comes back, closes the door and returns to the Doctor. Suddenly he sits up.)
DOCTOR: That was a nice nap. Now, down to business.
(The Doctor gets off the table.)
DOCTOR: I'm a bit worried about the temporal flicker in sector thirteen. There's a bicentennial refit of the Tardis to book in. I must just pop over to Centauri Seven and then perhaps a quick holiday. Right, that all seems quite clear. Just three small points. Where am I? Who am I? And who are you? The Rani! Stay back!
(He grabs his umbrella then steps back and falls down a short set of stairs. Sylvester is a very good clown-tumbler.)
RANI: This is idiotic. You'll injure yourself.
DOCTOR: Why should you care? Since you were exiled from Gallifrey, you've had nothing but contempt for all other Time Lords.
RANI: My contempt started long before my exile.
DOCTOR: And what do you want with me? And where's Mel?
RANI: She's perfectly safe, but how long she remains so depends on you.
DOCTOR: You're up to something. Perhaps I'll find the answer on this.
(The Doctor activates the screen in the middle of the table.)
RANI: You won't recognise the planet. It's Lakertya, and there's no evidence that it's ever been graced by your meddling presence.
(The screen shows the planet from orbit then an asteroid. Alien characters come up.)
DOCTOR: You're trying to deflect me, so the answer is on here. Quarks. One up, one down. One strange matter? That asteroid is composed of strange matter. What monstrous experiment are you dabbling in now?
RANI: I didn't go to the trouble of bringing you here just to discuss the ethics of my work.
DOCTOR: Ethics? Don't be such a hypocrite. Your past is littered with the mutilated results of your unethical experiments.
RANI: I had all I can take of that cant in our university days. Am I expected to abandon my research because of the side effects on inferior species. Are you prepared to abandon walking in case you squash an insect underfoot?
(The Rani takes her ray gun from the table base.)
DOCTOR: Stay away. Whatever you've brought me here for, I'm having no part of it.
(And promptly tumbles down the two steps again. Sarn moves to pick him up.)
RANI: Leave him there.
SARN: He may be hurt.
BEYUS: Sarn, don't interfere.
RANI: I'll deal with you latter.
(Sarn runs out.)
RANI: And that's the last time she will interfere.
(The Doctor gets up and goes to a pyramid, one of four placed around the raised table dais.)
DOCTOR: Stay away or I'll smash this!
RANI: Urak!
DOCTOR: I'll smash it to pieces!
RANI: Urak, get in here!
(The hairy beast enters. The Doctor stares at it, and it fires a little cannon that releases a net which drops over the Doctors head. He falls.
Meanwhile, the Lakertyan who watched the Tardis lands enters its open door. He stands over Mel for a moment then picks her up and puts her over his shoulder, looks around and leaves.
Sarn flees the Rani's headquarters. The Rani's large wrist computer beeps.)
RANI: Urak, what's happening?
URAK [OC]: The female Sarn has escaped, Mistress Rani.
RANI: She won't get far.
(The Rani calls up the view of Sarn running on her table screen. Elsewhere, Mel wakes and frees herself from the man's hold, and runs for her life. She meets Sarn coming the other way. Sarn changes route and hits a trip wire. There is a flash and a scream. Sarn is trapped in a spinning bubble that flies into the air and bounces off one cliff edge before crashing into another and exploding. Mel's rescuer pushes her away and goes over to the skeletal remains of Sarn.
The Rani turns off the image of the skeleton and uses her wrist computerr.)
RANI: See that the trap is reset.
URAK [OC]: Certainly. Your powers are truly wondrous, Mistress Rani.
BEYUS: What's happened?
RANI: It need not concern you. Roll up his sleeve.
(Beyus obeys. The Doctor is unconscious.)
BEYUS: Why are you doing this?
RANI: To make sure he suffers a healthy dose of amnesia when he wakes.
(The Rani injects the Doctor with a needle from a large gun.)
BEYUS: Amnesia?
RANI: That's what I said.

[Lakertya]

IKONA: Go on, run. Run! The area's full of traps, as well you know.
MEL: Me? Why should I? This is insane.
IKONA: Don't play the innocent. Your friends set this trap.
MEL: Look, it's all very well being upset
IKONA: Upset? Another of your obscene murders takes place
MEL: Stop accusing me. This had nothing to do with me.
IKONA: Lies! If I didn't need you as a hostage, you'd be dead.
MEL: A hostage? For what?
IKONA: To exchange for our leader. Your friends took him prisoner.
MEL: Why do you keep calling them friends of mine?
IKONA: You arrived from outer space, as they did. Now they can have you back. On my terms.

[The Rani's laboratory]

(The Doctor wakes, feeling very dizzy.)
DOCTOR: Where am I? Who are you?
(From the back, it looks like Mel. She turns around and it is the Rani. She pitches her voice almost perfectly to imitate her.)
RANI: Mel. Melanie. Are you all right, Doctor?
(She pulls the Doctor to his feet.)
DOCTOR: All right? Am I? Of course. And you?
RANI: Me? Yes, of course. Why not?
DOCTOR: Why not indeed. We both are.
(The Doctor stumbles and picks up the weapon she had carried into the Tardis.)
DOCTOR: A bull in a barber shop. A navigational guidance system distorter. This would force any passing spaceship into landing here. Where are we, by the way?
RANI: In your laboratory. On Lakertya. Doctor, are you sure you're well?
DOCTOR: Of course. Fit as a trombone.
RANI: Fiddle.
DOCTOR: Hmm?
RANI: Fit as a fiddle.
DOCTOR: Are you? Nerves, I expect. Now, let's see. What were we up to, er, Mel, did you say your name was?
RANI: You don't remember me, do you? Do you?
DOCTOR: Red hair. I recall red hair.
(The Rani moves away to stop the Doctor touching her wig, and she gets reflected in a nearby pyramid.)
DOCTOR: Argh! Who's that?
RANI: Me.
DOCTOR: No, standing next to you.
RANI: That's you, Doctor.
DOCTOR: Me? No wonder I've lost my memory.
RANI: Look, you're supposed to be conducting an experiment, not frightening yourself to death.
DOCTOR: Experiment?
RANI: Yes, it exploded and threw you to the floor. Me, too. Knocked us both cold. When I came round you looked like this.
DOCTOR: The explosion must have caused me to regenerate.
RANI: You mean, this is what you're going to be like permanently.
DOCTOR: I want all mirrors removed from the Tardis henceforth.
RANI: So you remember the Tardis, then?
DOCTOR: Oh yes, the Tardis. And you. Mel. There's something not quite in sync. I must be suffering from post-regeneration amnesia.
RANI: Oh, don't worry. It'll soon wear off. Meanwhile, why not repair the machine? You said it was important.
DOCTOR: Important? Did I? I wonder what I was up to.
(The Doctor takes the cover off the large metal pyramid with charring by a grill and peers inside.)
DOCTOR: No, seems pretty far gone. Need a genius to unravel it.
RANI: But you're a genius.
DOCTOR: Oh yes, I definitely remember that.
RANI: Especially in thermodynamics.
DOCTOR: How did you know that, Mel?
RANI: You told me. You said it was your special subject when you were at university.
DOCTOR: University? You remind me of someone I used to know when I was there.
RANI: Doctor, this machine has to be repaired and you're the only person with the knowledge to do it.
DOCTOR: Your confidence in me is very flattering, Mel.
(The Rani takes another side off the pyramid.)

[Lakertya]

(Ikona has tied Mel's hands and is leading her with a rope down a steep slope.)
MEL: Will you listen? How many more times do I have to tell you I'm not your enemy. Look, can we start from scratch? My name's Mel and I come from Earth. Your turn.
IKONA: This is no game.
MEL: All right, let's try another tack. You claim I was alone when you found me.
IKONA: Oh, don't go on about this Doctor again.
MEL: I have to.
IKONA: There was no one else in the strange box. If he exists, he must have left you.
MEL: No way. The Doctor wouldn't do that.
IKONA: If he has any sense he would.
MEL: It's not even up for discussion.
IKONA: Good, I shall enjoy the silence.
MEL: Watch out!
(Ikona trips a wire but Mel pulls him back before he can get trapped in the bubble. It whirrs off to explode on the cliff face.)
MEL: Now will you accept that I'm not your enemy?
IKONA: We must hurry. The Tetraps will come to investigate.
(Ikona unties Mel's wrists.)
MEL: What made you think I was in league with them?
IKONA: You're not Lakertyan. You don't belong on this planet.
MEL: Then they're human, like me?
IKONA: No, not like you, although almost as hideous.
(Urak watches them from the top of a ridge.)

[The Rani's laboratory]

(The Doctor's idea of mending machinery is to make it go bang and spark.)
DOCTOR: Come on, come on.
RANI: Come on where?
DOCTOR: Why I chose you as an assistant, I'll never know. Perhaps I will when I've regained my memory.
RANI: Well, what is it you want?
DOCTOR: Well, look at me. Can't you see? Mop my brow!
(The Rani uses a handkerchief then turns away. The Doctor takes two spoon-shaped implements from a rack, places them back to back and plays them. When he uses the Rani for the percussion she knocks them out of his hand.)
DOCTOR: What'd you do that for?
RANI: It was your fault.
DOCTOR: A bad workman always blames his fools.
RANI: Tools! Blames his tools!
DOCTOR: Do I detect a hint of bad temper, Mel? Why are you behaving so uppity? Could it be that you think yourself superior to me?
RANI: Now how could I possibly think that, Doctor?
DOCTOR: Quite. Though at the moment I feel far from superior. This is all a mystery to me.
RANI: But surely there's a catalyst?
DOCTOR: Oh, yes, yes. Must you state the obvious? I know that its functions diffuse the impulses from there with this goo. But what's it for? I'm beginning to think this set-up's got nothing to do with me.
RANI: Why do you think that?
DOCTOR: Omnipotence. The mind behind this bag of tricks operates on a grand scale.
RANI: Well, all the more reason to suppose that it's you, Doctor.

[Lakertya]

MEL: Hold on. I need a breather.
IKONA: We must keep moving.
MEL: What happened to the rest of your people? Won't they help?
IKONA: No, they've been completely subdued.
MEL: We could at least try.
IKONA: The only one they listen to is Beyus, our leader.
MEL: All right, let's go to him.
IKONA: He's the hostage I wanted to exchange you for. Shush. Listen.
(Rocks fall nearby.)
IKONA: Quickly!
MEL: We can't go that way, it's completely exposed.
IKONA: For once, don't argue.
(They follow a track through a large puddle and into a large sewer pipe.)
IKONA: Hopefully they'll think we doubled back to stay undercover.
MEL: Always providing they don't flush us out first.

[The Rani's laboratory]

(The Doctor is pointing up the stairs.)
DOCTOR: What's in there?
RANI: I have no idea.
DOCTOR: Are you as clueless as you appear, Mel?
RANI: Don't blame me, Doctor. I've never been inside. You wouldn't let me.
DOCTOR: Wouldn't I?
RANI: No. You said the air wasn't sterile enough for humans.
DOCTOR: That's it, then. I'm doing nothing until my memory returns. Nothing until I know what I'm about.
RANI: Oh, come on, now.
DOCTOR: No, I will not work in the dark like this.
RANI: But you thrive on challenge.
DOCTOR: I'm adamant. This could be some diabolical scheme.
RANI: To do what?
DOCTOR: That's the question.
RANI: Oh, Doctor, really.
(Behind his back, the Rani opens a lid in the corner of the table and takes out a small bottle.
Meanwhile, in another part of her HQ, Beyus picks up a bill hook, goes to a grill set at an angle in the floor and opens it, then goes down some steps. In the dark are more hairy monsters like Urak. Beyus pulls a chain that releases red goo to run down a channel in the middle of the steps, then leaves and fastens the grill shut.
The Rani pours the contents of the bottle into a glass of blue water, turning it clear. She puts the bottle back in its hole and takes the glass to the Doctor.
) RANI: You're just over-excited. Here, drink this.
DOCTOR: Hmm? What is it?
RANI: Just water.
DOCTOR: Oh, you drink it. I don't want it. Don't try to humour me. Leave me alone.
RANI: You can't loll around. It's simply not like you.
DOCTOR: How do you know what I'm like? I've regenerated. I mean, look at me. Look at me.
RANI: Yes, you've changed outwardly. But I'm sure you must still have the same sweet nature.
DOCTOR: Perhaps this is my new persona. Sulky, bad-tempered. I mean, think how I spoke to you earlier.
RANI: But you didn't mean it. I was at fault.
DOCTOR: Even so, that's probably how I am now. You don't understand regeneration, Mel. It's a lottery, and I've drawn the short plank. Anyway, I need a radiation wave meter and, brilliant as I am, even I can't improvise that.
RANI: What about the Tardis? Won't there be a radiation wave meter there?
DOCTOR: The Tardis? Do you know where it is?
RANI: Yes, of course.
DOCTOR: Oh, good. I fancy a breath of fresh air. We'll both go.
RANI: No, wait.
(The Doctor leaves. The Rani uses her wrist computer.)
RANI: Urak?
URAK [OC]: Yes, mistress?
RANI: Remove the girl from the Tardis immediately.
URAK [OC]: She is not there, mistress.
RANI: Well then, find her, you incompetent fool!
(The Doctor enters.)
DOCTOR: Are you coming, Mel?
RANI: Yes, Doctor, coming.

[Lakertya]

(Mel looks out of the pipe.)
MEL: No one about. Come on.
IKONA: No! It's too soon.
MEL: Not for me. I'm going to find the Doctor.
IKONA: If he's been captured, he's as good as dead.
(Meanwhile, the Rani and the Doctor have reached Sarn's remains.)
DOCTOR: Rather unusual species. Can't say I recognise it. Humanoid with reptilian influences, wouldn't you say, Mel?
RANI: Lakertyan. A race so indolent they can't be bothered to bury their dead.
DOCTOR: Really? I suppose we've explored this planet. I wish I could remember.
RANI: There's not a lot to remember. The benevolent climate has induced lethargy. They've failed to realise their full potential.
DOCTOR: Rather a harsh judgment, Mel.
RANI: Not mine. Yours.
DOCTOR: The more I know me, the less I like me.
(The Doctor waves Sarn goodbye before he and the Rani cross to the Tardis and go inside.)
MEL: All right, I'll find him without you. One thing about the Doctor, you can't miss him in that outfit.

[Wardrobe room]

(The traditional post-regeneration scene. First up, a Napoleon costume.)
DOCTOR: No, I think not. Lacks my natural humility.
(He tries on a Bearskin hat.)
DOCTOR: Doesn't look right without a horse. I need something more dignified, Timelord-ish.
(A school master's mortar board and gown.)
DOCTOR: A little portentous, perhaps, Mel?
RANI: Pretentious is the word.
(Tom Baker's burgundy coat, hat and scarf.)
DOCTOR: Old hat?
(Jon Pertwee's frilly shirt and velvet jacket.)
DOCTOR: Not frilled. (Peter Davison's cricketing gear, with bat and pads.)
DOCTOR: How's that? Would that bowl a maiden over?
(Patrick Troughton's fur coat. He flings it open to reveal a question mark motif pullover and red braces under a cream linen jacket. He has kept the panama hat.)
RANI: Yes, yes, yes. Very elegant.
DOCTOR: Ah, thank goodness in this regeneration I've regained my impeccable sense of haute couture.
(The Doctor looks in the mirror to adjust his tie.)
RANI: If you've finished preening, could we please get what we came for?
(The Doctor turns and starts to see that this Mel is not the real Mel. She slaps his face.) RANI: I'm sorry, but you seemed to be losing control.
DOCTOR: I was hallucinating. I had an overwhelming sense of evil. And there was a word. Ra, Ra, Ran, Rad
RANI: Radiation wave meter. That's what we came here for.
DOCTOR: Oh yes. Where do you reckon I'd keep it?
RANI: Tool room.
DOCTOR: Won't be a jiffy. Absence makes the nose grow longer. (The Doctor leaves.)
RANI: Cretin.

[Tardis]

(Mel picks her way through large rocks, watched by Ikona and Urak.
The Rani answers her wrist computer.)
RANI: Yes, Urak. What is it?
URAK [OC]: We have found the lost girl, mistress.
RANI: Focus in on her.
URAK [OC]: Certainly, Mistress Rani.
(The Rani turns on the scanner. The Doctor enters with the meter.)
DOCTOR: Rani, that's the name, the evil name.
RANI: Is that her, Doctor?
DOCTOR: Er, well, yes, it must be. Yes.
RANI: And she's evil?
DOCTOR: Completely.
RANI: Then she must be destroyed.
DOCTOR: Destroyed? Let's not be hasty.

[Lakertya]

(Mel spots Urak behind her and starts to run. She trips a wire and gets trapped in a bubble. Ikona stares in horror as it rises into the air.)
MEL: Doctor! Help!
(The bubble sails over a ridge and bounces once.)
MEL: Help!

Part Two

[Lakertya]

MEL: Help!
(Mel's bubble splashes into a lake and rolls across the surface to the shore. Ikona runs to her aid. It has beached with the base tilted up for handy access.)
MEL: Help! Help me!
IKONA: Be quiet and don't move.
MEL: Have you, have you done this before?
IKONA: No, this is the first time, but Mel, if you don't stop squawking, it'll be the last.
(Ikona twists a boss on the base of the bubble.)

[The Rani's laboratory]

(There is another small explosion and lots of smoke.)
DOCTOR: You know, I can't help feeling sorry for the Rani, Mel, getting caught in her own devious trap.
RANI: She's got nobody to blame but herself.
DOCTOR: I suppose so, but what was she doing prowling around on Lakertya?
RANI: Well, I'd have thought the reason was obvious.
DOCTOR: Is it?
RANI: She must be on the brink of a major discovery.
DOCTOR: Have to be a cosmic breakthrough for a neurochemist of her stature to come storming the barricades.
RANI: All the more reason to press on, get there first. You've repeatedly said that in the wrong hands, scientific knowledge can be dangerous.
DOCTOR: What scientific knowledge? What am I doing? If only I could remember.
RANI/RANI: Oh, don't start all that again. Look, repair the machine and maybe we'll find the solution.
DOCTOR: The machine won't tell me what's behind that locked door, will it? The machine won't restore my memory, will it? If the Rani was after our experiment, we must be playing with fire.
RANI: Oh, forget the Rani. She's finished, destroyed.
DOCTOR: Is she? Oh, don't underestimate her. She's a brilliant but sterile mind. There's not one spark of decency in her.
RANI: I'm overwhelmed.
DOCTOR: You are?
RANI: Such superior diagnostic talents.
DOCTOR: It's my forte.
RANI: Well then, it's a pity they can't be concentrated on the machine.
(The Rani pushes the Doctor against the machine. He bumps his nose. By the water, Ikona defuses the bubble and it vanishes. He throws the tube of explosive into the lake, where it goes Boom! Urak watches and snarls.
Later, the Rani is monitoring the progress of the asteroid while the Doctor works in the bowels of the pyramid.)
DOCTOR: And another thing. Why was the Rani dressed like you, Mel?
RANI: Perhaps she's fashion conscious.
DOCTOR: No. She was in disguise. Practising another one of her talents.
RANI: Really? Are you going to be much longer in there, Doctor?
DOCTOR: Afraid so. More hasta less vista.
(Beyus feeds the Tetraps again.)

[Lakertya]

MEL: Any sign of the, what did you call it?
IKONA: Tetraps. No. Come, keep moving.
MEL: Look. Look, look, I'm grateful for your help, of course, but gratitude isn't going to turn me into a puppet.
IKONA: I've already come to that painful conclusion.
MEL: Well then, tell me, are we just running scared or are we heading for somewhere in particular?
IKONA: The answer to both questions is yes. Now can we go?
(Ikona points to an opening near the top of a cliff.)
IKONA: Wait here.
(He climbs up to a cache of metal items, and takes one.)
MEL: Hurry, Ikona! Hurry!
(Urak jumps down behind Mel, who screams as only she can at the sight of the four-eyed creature. Ikona fires the metal item at him, sending a shower of shiny fragments over Urak. Mel climbs up to Ikona while Urak tries to shake them off.)

[The Rani's laboratory[

(The Doctor is taking readings with a gizmo.)
DOCTOR: I cannot understand how I could have made such a fundamental mistake.
(He tries to pull out a large circuit board.)
RANI: Let me.
(It has a large hole burnt right through it.)
RANI: What was the mistake?
DOCTOR: The heat radiation from the catalyst was of high frequency.
RANI: You mean I, you used the wrong heat conducting material?
DOCTOR: So elementary. I broke the second law of thermodynamics.
RANI: So, if we substituted a suitable material, would it work?
DOCTOR: You should know the answer to that, Mel. Didn't C P Snow expound on thermodynamics?
RANI: Doctor, is this relevant?
DOCTOR: Well, you said you admired all his writings, read all his books.
RANI: Did I? Oh, I must have forgotten.
DOCTOR: You, Mel, forget? A kangaroo never forgets.
RANI: Elephant.
DOCTOR: Oh, yes. Memory like an elephant. A running gag applied to you, I feel sure, Mel.
RANI: Oh. Perhaps the machine exploding affected my memory too. Doctor, what were the readings?
DOCTOR: Oh here, see for yourself.
(He gives her the gizmo and goes up the stairs, where he uses a device to listen to what is going on beyond the closed door.)

[Outside the Rani's HQ]

IKONA: That's where they've set up headquarters.
MEL: Well then, that's where the Doctor must be.
IKONA: You can't be sure.
MEL: I can. You don't know the Doctor.
IKONA: If he's in there, I probably never will.
MEL: There's no if about it. He's in there.
(She looks up at the construction above the main entrance.)
MEL: Any idea what the central ramp's for?
IKONA: No. All I know is that building it cost the lives of many Lakertyans.
MEL: Something must have gone terribly wrong.
IKONA: The logic of that escapes me.
MEL: Well, they kidnapped the Doctor, and no one would do that unless they were desperate for his help. He's not exactly predictable.
IKONA: Come on.

[The Rani's laboratory]

RANI: Would PHB or PES do?
DOCTOR: What?
RANI: I asked you a question!
DOCTOR: Did you? Mel, there's something caged in there.
RANI: Yes, I dare say. Would PHB or PES do?
DOCTOR: Eh?
RANI: As a suitable material for the machine.
DOCTOR: Oh, yes. PHB. It's biodegradable. We don't want to litter up Lakertya with non-destructible waste like they're doing on your planet, Mel.
RANI: What are you looking for?
DOCTOR: Sugar and starch. We can ferment our own.
RANI: You won't find it there. What about the alternative?
DOCTOR: PES? No, not so good. It's a petroleum based plastic.
RANI: Slightly amber, almost opaque?
DOCTOR: Mmm.
RANI: I know where I can get some.
DOCTOR: Where?
RANI: From the Lakertyans. You repair the machine, I'll go and get it.
DOCTOR: But I thought you said the Lakertyans weren't very advanced.
RANI: Did I?
DOCTOR: Yes.
(The Rani leaves, sealing the Doctor inside the room.)
DOCTOR: When we discovered that sad skeleton.

[Lakertya]

(A middle aged female is walking through the valley. Ikona and Mel stop near Sarn's skeleton.)
IKONA: Wait here.
(Ikona goes to meet her.)
IKONA: Faroon.
(Every one say Hi! to Wanda Ventham.)
FAROON: I'm glad to see you, Ikona, although I shouldn't be.
IKONA: Does sitting on opposite sides of the fence mean we can't still be friends?
FAROON: I'm afraid it does when you cut yourself off from the rest of us, and deliberately ignore Beyus' instructions.
IKONA: I can't accept he's right to collaborate.
FAROON: He is being held hostage. He has no choice. It's the only way that Beyus can save the rest of us from destruction.
MEL: He didn't save her, did he.
IKONA: It's all right, Faroon. She's not with the Tetraps.
FAROON: You said her?
MEL: Yes. Well, she was running away from something.
FAROON: You saw what happened too, Ikona? You're not usually so reluctant to air your thoughts. From which direction did she come?
MEL: Well, along there. It was as though she was escaping from the Tetrap headquarters.
IKONA: It was Sarn.
(Faroon goes to the skeleton.)
MEL: Who was Sarn?
IKONA: The daughter of Faroon and Beyus.
MEL: I'm sorry. I didn't realise.
FAROON: I, I had to be told.
IKONA: There was nothing to be done. She stepped on a trap.
FAROON: Yet another victim. I must go to Beyus.
(Faroon walks away. Mel starts to follow her.)
IKONA: Where are you going?
MEL: If Beyus is collaborating then he must be in the Tetrap headquarters, and that's where the Doctor will be.

[Outside the Rani's HQ]

(The Rani has left, and the Doctor gives up trying to work out the combination to open the door. He retrieves the spoons and starts playing them again. Using them on the back of his neck hurts.
Mel and Ikona hide as Faroon walks up to the entrance.)
IKONA: You're still determined to get in?
MEL: No matter what the risk.
IKONA: Madness.
(Urak allows Faroon to pass inside.)
IKONA: It must be contagious. I'll draw him off.
(Urak spots Ikona running and follows. Mel heads for the door. Then Urak spots a woman in pink striped top and white trousers, and fires his net gun over her.)

[The Rani's laboratory]

(Mel enters. The Doctor is working in the pyramid so she goes over to him.)
MEL: Who are you?
DOCTOR: You! Where's Mel?
MEL: Where's the Doctor?
DOCTOR: What have you done with her?
MEL: Stay away from me. What have you done with the Doctor?
(The Doctor reaches for Mel. She grabs his arm and throws him neatly onto the floor, holding his arm behind him.)
MEL: Now we'll get to the truth. What have you done with him, you brute?
DOCTOR: He's here!
MEL: Where? Under the carpet?
DOCTOR: It's me, you washer woman! Me!
MEL: Never! You're nothing like him. If the Doctor's been harmed, I
(The Doctor twists out of her grasp and lifts her into a helicopter hold.)
MEL: Help! Put me down! Oh!
(He puts her down.)
DOCTOR: Drop the melodramatics. Your pathetic impersonation doesn't fool me at all. Incidentally, that wig's not you.
(The Doctor pulls her hair, making her squeal.)

[Lakertya]

(Urak removes the net from the Rani. She wakes and starts to adjust her wig.)
URAK: I am sorry, Mistress. I have not seen you dressed in these clothes before.
RANI: Inquests bore me.

[The Rani's laboratory]

DOCTOR: I knew you weren't finished, Rani. I told Mel as much.
MEL: You told me?
DOCTOR: No, Mel!
MEL: I am Mel. Who's the Rani?
DOCTOR: Try looking in the mirror at the face of evil.
MEL: I've had enough of this drivel.
DOCTOR: All right, compromise. Let me feel your pulse.
MEL: Don't touch me!
DOCTOR: Ah, the proof of the pumpkin's in the squeezing.
MEL: You don't even talk like the Doctor, you miserable fraud.
DOCTOR: Let me feel your pulse. Pulses, I should say. Two of them. One for each heart.
MEL: You're a raving lunatic.
DOCTOR: Yes, perhaps I am, because if you're the Rani, I'm dicing with destruction.
MEL: And if I'm Mel?
DOCTOR: Mel? The worst she'll do is give me carrot juice. Carrot juice? What made me think of that?
MEL: Well, perhaps the real Doctor told you. It was his favourite drink.
DOCTOR: Favourite? I hate it.
MEL: Oh.
DOCTOR: Ah, caught you out, haven't I.
MEL: But if you're the real Doctor, then why do you look like that?
DOCTOR: I've regenerated, and I'm suffering from post-regenerative amnesia, as far as I can remember. Fair exchange is no mockery. You feel my pulses, I'll feel yours. I'll lean across here with my arm behind my back, if you want proof I'm a Time Lord. Come on.
(The Doctor holds his arm out across the table. Mel takes his pulses.)
MEL: A double pulse. Then you really are the Doctor.
DOCTOR: That's what I've been trying to tell you. Now yours.
MEL: I know about regeneration, of course.
(The Doctor checks both her wrists.)
DOCTOR: Mel?
MEL: But you're completely different. Nothing like you were. Face, height, hair, everything's changed.
DOCTOR: Yes. And I've become more of a fool too, it seems, Mel. Doesn't bode well for my seventh persona, being so completely taken in by the wretched Rani.
MEL: The Rani? Is that who hijacked the Tardis?
DOCTOR: But what does she want with me?

[Outside the Rani's Tardis]

(Which is yet another pyramid with mirrored segments. Urak has followed the Rani.)
RANI: Where do you think you're going?
URAK: With you, mistress.
RANI: I told you not to enter my Tardis without permission. Now stay here.
(Urak watches with the eye in the back of his head.)

[The Rani's laboratory]

(The Doctor shows Mel the asteroid on the table screen.)
DOCTOR: Strange matter.
MEL: Never heard of it.
DOCTOR: You should have, Mel. A Princeton physicist discovered it in your Earth year 1984.
MEL: Computers are my speciality, not nuclear physics.
DOCTOR: It's an incredibly dense form of matter. A lump the size of this would weigh more than your planet Earth.
MEL: Well, what can the Rani's interest be?
DOCTOR: An astute question. If that asteroid exploded, it would send off a blast of gamma rays equivalent to a supernova.
MEL: And then it'd be goodbye, Lakertya.
DOCTOR: And everything else in this corner of the galaxy. When the Rani dabbles, she dabbles on a grand scale.
(He leads Mel to the staircase.)
DOCTOR: Here, go and listen.
(Mel takes the 'stethoscope' and goes up to the closed door.)
MEL: It's weird. It's like a giant heartbeat.
DOCTOR: Yes. But why, Mel, why? What is she up to? It starts here.
(The Doctor goes to the door to the Genius room.)
MEL: Oh, forget it, Doctor. Let's hightail it back to the Tardis and get out of here.
DOCTOR: And leave the Lakertyans to the machinations

[Genius room]

(Beyus and Faroon listen.)
DOCTOR [OC]: Of the Rani? Impossible! Given time I'll work out the combination.
BEYUS: Nine five three.

[The Rani's laboratory]

DOCTOR: Did you hear a voice, or am I hallucinating?
BEYUS [OC]: Nine five three.
MEL: Well, go on, quick. Nine five three.
DOCTOR: Who'd have thought she'd have been so obvious. Huh. That's my age. And the Rani's.
(The door slides up, and the Doctor gestures for Mel to go first.)

[Outside the Rani's Tardis]

(The Rani gets a piece of orange plastic from a store cupboard and uses a laser pointing down from the ceiling to trim it into a nice oblong. Then she goes back outside.)
RANI: The girl's on the loose. Find her before she finds the Doctor.
URAK: Yes, mistress.

[Genius room]

(Mel reads off the names of some of the occupants of the cabinets.)
MEL: Hypatia. Einstein!
BEYUS: Names which are meaningless to us.
DOCTOR: Geniuses, every one of them. The Rani's collected together the most creative minds and the most powerful matter in the universe.
FAROON: She's a murderess. Sarn was not her first victim. There've been many.
DOCTOR: The scope of her imagination is breathtaking.
BEYUS: You sound as though you admire her.
DOCTOR: Not admiration, fascination. And sadness. If only the Rani could have redirected her incredible talents for good.
MEL: The fascination's mutual. She's reserved this one for you.
(The Rani returns to her Headquarters.)
DOCTOR: What is it I can contribute these other geniuses can't?
MEL: You're a Time Lord.
DOCTOR: With a unique conceptual understanding of the properties of time.

[The Rani's laboratory]

(The Doctor, Mel and Beyus return to the main room and the Doctor starts working out paths of energy. They point to the top of the stairs.)
DOCTOR: Do you know what's behind that door?
BEYUS: I've never been permitted to see.
DOCTOR: Pity. Beyus, why have you assisted?
BEYUS: Collaborated is the word that you are avoiding, Doctor. I've no choice.
(Faroon runs in and closes the door to the Genius room.)
FAROON: She's coming!
DOCTOR: Take Mel.
FAROON: I'll take her with me.
MEL: Doctor, you can't stay.
DOCTOR: Go, Mel. Go.
(Beyus, Faroon and Mel leave. The Doctor returns to the pyramid he is supposed to be repairing. The Rani enters, turns off the table screen and presents the plastic sheet to the Doctor.)
DOCTOR: Ah yes, yes. Let me see. Polyethersulphone. Excellent. How clever you are, Mel. Where did you find it?
RANI: In the store room. Doctor, why was the monitor on?
DOCTOR: On, is it? Oh, yes. I was trying to jog my memory. No luck though. Hold the other end, Mel.
(They try to slide the sheet into its slot in the pyramid.
Meanwhile, Beyus points the way for Faroon and Mel to leave the HQ.)
DOCTOR: You're not concentrating, Mel. Hold it steady. We've got to manoeuvre it into position.
RANI: Quite adept at manoeuvring, aren't you, Doctor?
DOCTOR: Yes, well, where there's a will, there's a Tom, Dick and a Harriet.
RANI: Do I take it the machine's now operational?
DOCTOR: Oh. no, no, no. There's some information I simply must have before I make the final delicate adjustments.
RANI: Such as?
DOCTOR: Ideally, what's behind that door?
RANI: Less ideally?
DOCTOR: The identity of this rather interesting substance.
(A liquid or jelly on the top of another pyramid.)
RANI: The information's essential, is it?
DOCTOR: Crucial.
RANI: So if I told you its chemical composition, I could do that.
(The Rani presses a button on the table. The lights dim and the pyramid starts flashing.)
DOCTOR: No, stop!
RANI: You know, don't you.
(The Rani removes the red curly wig and frees her own brunette hair.)
RANI: But your usefulness is not yet over. You have another role to play.
(The Doctor points behind her. The Rani turns and he uses his scarf to pin her arms and pushes her onto the table. Then he runs into the Genius room, past Beyus who is making notes on a clipboard. She follows him down into the Tetrap pit, and carefully searches amongst the Tetraps hanging from the roof, armed with the billhook. Unable to find the hidden Doctor, she leaves and shuts the grill. The Doctor comes out of hiding and looks for another exit. A group of Tetraps surround him.)

Part Three

[Tetrap lair]

DOCTOR: I say, I mean, we may not see eye to eye. Try and see it my way. I'm trying not to be personal. I mean, after all, a bat may look at a Time Lord.
(Beyus enters and releases the Tetraps food.)
BEYUS: Doctor, hurry.
(The Doctor and Beyus leave as the Tetraps feed.)

[Outside the Rani's HQ]

(The Rani has changed back into her normal clothes and come outside. Faroon and Mel watch from behind some rocks.)
FAROON: She's looking for us.
MEL: Maybe, but I can think of a more likely explanation. The Doctor's on the loose. Whatever the reason, Faroon, you mustn't be caught with me.
FAROON: I can't leave you. I promised.
MEL: I'll be all right. Now go. Please.
(Faroon leaves.)

[Genius room]

BEYUS: No, you'll have to escape through the laboratory. The Rani went that way.
(The Doctor runs into the laboratory.)
URAK [OC]: Mistress Rani?
(The Doctor runs back in. Urak carefully searches the laboratory then enters. Only Beyus stands there.)
URAK: You, Lakertyan, have you seen the mistress? Well, quickly, answer!
BEYUS: She went into the grounds.
URAK: Oh, out of my way. The mistress has profound insight, but I think she is mistaken to rely on any of your worthless race.
(Urak leaves. Beyus opens the Doctor's cabinet and lets him out.)
DOCTOR: I can't say I share the Rani's taste in pets.
BEYUS: The Tetraps are nobody's pets and you'd be wise not to forget it.
DOCTOR: This is what I'll never forget. Unique talents every one of them. The Rani's roamed the universe plucking these geniuses out of time, at the height of their powers and reducing them to the status of laboratory specimens.
BEYUS: Doctor, please hurry.
DOCTOR: Time, the concept of time. I'm sure that's at the heart of what she's up to. Otherwise why reserve a place for me, a Time Lord, in this abysmal parade.
BEYUS: If you're still here when she gets back, you'll find out from inside the cabinet.
DOCTOR: Which you will help her put me in.
BEYUS: If she catches you, yes.
DOCTOR: You know, Beyus, your collaboration with the Rani's difficult to understand.
BEYUS: My people are under threat. If you do manage to escape, go to the Centre of Leisure. You will find the reason there. Now hurry, Doctor.

[The Rani's laboratory]

BEYUS: Be careful, Doctor. The grounds outside are a minefield of traps.
DOCTOR: Nothing outside compared to this.
BEYUS: A harmless asteroid?
DOCTOR: It's composed of strange matter, Beyus. A devastating force. With the right trigger, that harmless asteroid, as you call it, could incinerate your planet and anything else in this corner of the galaxy. And what does the Rani keep behind there? Oh, all good things come to a bend.
(The Doctor goes to the pyramid he repaired and removes a component. The machine turns off and the lights come back on.)
DOCTOR: Microthermistor. I doubt if she'll have a spare.
BEYUS: She won't need one. You're going to put it back. Give it to me.
(The Doctor and Beyus struggle for the component. Beyus gets it so the Doctor dives for his umbrella and trips Beyus down the steps. Beyus groans in pain as the Doctor retrieves the microthermistor.)
DOCTOR: I had no intention of hurting you.
RANI [OC]: Beyus!
(The Doctor runs out the right hand exit as the Rani enters from the Genius room.)
RANI: Who sabotaged this? What happened?
BEYUS: Ah, my head.
RANI: Was it the Doctor?
BEYUS: I don't know. He tried to steal something from the cabinet. I tried to stop him.
(The Rani sets an alarm blaring.)

[Lakertya]

(Ikona watches the Doctor run from the Rani's headquarters. Meanwhile Mel is trapped by two Tetraps. She screams, of course, and Urak uses its pointed tongue to inject her with a paralysing poison.)
URAK: The Mistress will be overjoyed to see you. You know where to take her.
(The other Tetrap carries the rigid Mel away.
Elsewhere, the Doctor is picking his way through rough rocks when Ikona shouts at him from a cliff.)
IKONA [OC]: Stop! Don't take another step.
DOCTOR: Here's a turn up for the cook. A rock that talks.
(Ikona shows himself.)
IKONA: You must be the Doctor. I've met your companion, Mel.
DOCTOR: Don't hold that against me.
IKONA: Oh, I see where she gets her sense of humour. You're going to need it.
DOCTOR: That bad?
IKONA: Look down.
(The Doctor's toe is under a trip wire.)
IKONA: Now step back, very slowly.
(The Doctor obeys, and a Tetrap comes bounding up.)
DOCTOR: Hello. Haven't I seen you hanging around somewhere?
(Ikona fires his glitter gun before the Tetrap can use his net cannon. The Doctor pushes the twirling bat away from him, and it steps onto the trip wire. The Doctor watches in horror as it is trapped in a bubble which whirls away and explodes when it hits the top of the cliff. He removes his hat as a sign of respect.)

[Genius room]

(The Tetrap carries Mel in.)
RANI: Take her away.
(The Tetrap continues towards the lair entrance.)
RANI: Faroon? You can tell the Doctor he can have the girl in return for the microthermistor he stole.
FAROON: And where will I find this Doctor?
RANI: He'll make contact with the other Lakertyans and try to stir up trouble, so don't be taken in by his glib tongue.
(The Rani goes into her laboratory.)
BEYUS: Do as she says, Faroon. You know the penalty our people will have to pay if you disobey.
FAROON: But shouldn't we try to escape as Sarn did?
BEYUS: Faroon, I have obeyed all of the Rani's commands, carried out the most menial of tasks. Now that she has almost completed the experiment, why should I take the risk?
FAROON: And when her work is finished, what happens then?
BEYUS: She will leave Lakertya.
FAROON: Will she, Beyus?
BEYUS: That was her promise.
FAROON: And when she does?
BEYUS: Our lives will return to normal.
FAROON: Normal, Beyus? Without Sarn?
BEYUS: Faroon, deliver the message to the Doctor. I believe that you will find him in the Centre of Leisure.

[Centre of Leisure - entrance]

(Ikona leads the Doctor across a set of square stepping stones lit with torches and up to an entranceway cut into a cliff. Other Lakertyans are leaving.)
DOCTOR: No restrictions for movement. The Lakertyans can come and go freely, then.
IKONA: Provided they obey the instructions of Beyus and don't try to get into the laboratory.
(Ikona touches a rock by the entrance and goes inside. The Doctor copies him.)

[Centre of Leisure]

(A similar ethos to the Edo's planet in Justice. A disco ball hangs from the high ceiling and the people are occupying themselves in many ways to the sound of musak. The entrance is onto a balcony then down a staircase.)
IKONA: The Centre of Leisure. The Centre of Indolence.
DOCTOR: Not a favourite haunt of yours, I take it, Ikona.
IKONA: No. I can't imagine why Beyus told you to come to this place.
DOCTOR: He said I'd find the answer to his subservience here.
IKONA: From these spineless pleasure seekers?
DOCTOR: Why not?
IKONA: It would require effort, that's why, Doctor. They've become spoon-fed drones. There's no need for them to strive. An indulgent system provides all. Well, didn't Beyus give you any clue as to what to look for?
DOCTOR: He was too anxious for explanations. But whatever the threat, it must be considerable. Do you see anything that's different? New?
IKONA: Only that. Another pointless embellishment.
(Ikona points at the disco ball.)
DOCTOR: Hmm, I wonder. Couldn't we ask someone, you know, if
IKONA: We'll be interrupting their pleasure.
(They go to a couple in an alcove.)
IKONA: Could you tell me what that globe's for?
(They ignore him.)
IKONA: I did warn you.
DOCTOR: There's none so deaf as those that clutch at straws.
IKONA: If you say so. Lanisha!
(Ikona crosses the room to greet another male.)
LANISHA: Ikona.
IKONA: Lanisha. Can you tell me what that globe's for?
LANISHA: We've been forbidden to have anything to do with you, Ikona.
IKONA: You would ignore your own brother? 
LANISHA: I obey the orders of Beyus.

[The Rani's laboratory]

(Urak drops a handful of silver glitter onto the table.)
RANI: Do you recognise these?
URAK: Answer the mistress Rani!
BEYUS: They're from the fireworks that we used to have at our carnival.
RANI: These were fired at no carnival. These were used to enable the Doctor to escape.
URAK: Causing the death of a Tetrap.
BEYUS: None of my followers would be responsible.
RANI: You're careful not deny it's the work of a Lakertyan.
(The Rani turns on the table screen. It shows the disco ball, which stops turning.)
BEYUS: You will be punishing the innocent.
RANI: Guilt by association. I warned you of the consequences of subversion.

[Centre of Leisure]

(Sections in the disco ball open and little green glowing things fly out. The Lakertyans panic. Some fall.)
LAKERTYAN: Look out, they kill!
(The Doctor checks on one fallen victim.)
IKONA: Killer insects! Come on, Doctor.
(Everyone runs up the stairs to the exit. Faroon arrives to see another person die.)
FAROON: Do you still insist that Beyus should not count the cost of resistance, Ikona? If every cell in the globe were opened, there wouldn't be a Lakertyan left alive.
DOCTOR: Hmm, killer insects.
FAROON: Doctor, I have a message for you.
(Mel is hanging upside down with the rest of the tetraps.)

[Lakertya]

(Urak and Mel face the Doctor and Ikona across a flat area. Mel waves and the Doctor raises his hat, then hands the microthermistor to Ikona. Ikona takes it and walks forward.)
DOCTOR: Let Mel come towards me. I've kept my side of the bargain. You've got what you want.
(Ikona puts the microthermistor on a boulder between them and gestures for Mel to walk forward. He follows her and takes the component.)
URAK: So stupid. You are not a worthy opponent for the Rani.
(Urak leaves. Ikona and Mel walk back to the Doctor.)
DOCTOR: What's he crowing on about, Mel?
(Mel walks straight through the Doctor and vanishes.)
DOCTOR: A hologram! As substantial as the Rani's scruples.
(Back at the Tetrap lair, Urak takes down the rigid Mel and carries her out.)

[Genius room]

RANI: As soon as the machine is operational, increase the brain stimulation.
BEYUS: But that would take it above the danger level.
RANI: I'm in danger of missing the solstice, which is far more important.
BEYUS: The computer control needs constant monitoring. I can't manage alone.
RANI: So I've anticipated, and I've got just the expert for you.
(Urak brings Mel in and puts her down. The Rani breaks a capsule under her nose and Mel wakes.)
RANI: Beyus, she's your responsibility.
BEYUS: Mine? But I can't govern her. She's not a Lakertyan.
RANI: Just make certain she understands the penalty for non-cooperation.
(The Rani and Urak leave. Mel gives a little squeal as Urak passes her.)

[Lakertya]

IKONA: Doctor, in my opinion, returning to the laboratory is a pointless exercise. I've a feeling Mel's beyond all help.
DOCTOR: Oh, the Rani would never go to those extremes. She never does anything without reason.
IKONA: Well then, why the hologram? Why didn't she just release Mel?
DOCTOR: A bird in the hand keeps the Doctor away.
IKONA: You're probably right.
DOCTOR: Only on this occasion, it'll have the opposite affect.

[The Rani's laboratory]

(The Rani replaces the microthermistor. The lights dim and the machines come on. The lights under the staircase are pulsing.)
RANI: The increase in brain activity is not enough. I'm going to miss the solstice.
URAK: Perhaps the stimulation of a greater genius. A brilliance that surpasses all others, mistress.
RANI: Do I gather you're suggesting that I climb into one of those cabinets?
URAK: Your capable presence is wasted in here and I could operate the machine.
RANI: Yes, I'm sure you could. Urak! Come with me.
(Urak picks up his web cannon and follows her.)

[Genius room]

RANI: Prepare the Doctor's cabinet for occupation.
MEL: Well, that'll be a waste of effort. You've got to find him first and then catch him.
RANI: I need neither find nor catch him. The bumbling fool's ready made as a sacrificial lamb.
MEL: He's shrewder than you think. Underestimating the Doctor is a common fault.
RANI: Really?
MEL: He's got qualities you'll never have.
RANI: Such as?
MEL: Something I'd call humanity.
RANI: Huh. You're as sentimental as he is. Get on with your work.
(The Rani leaves.)
BEYUS: Don't antagonise her. She has only to press a button for every Lakertyan to be exterminated.
MEL: I could nominate a few candidates for extermination myself.

[Outside the Rani's HQ]

DOCTOR: Hmm, a space rocket launcher, sure enough. But have you noticed it's got a fixed trajectory?
IKONA: No doubt it'll still play havoc with our planet.
DOCTOR: Maybe as a side effect, Ikona, but not the intention. I'd say the target is the asteroid of strange matter, which means the launch is locked into a precise time.
IKONA: Could it be the solstice? That's due.
DOCTOR: Assuming it is, the Rani's overriding priority will be to meet that countdown. No more setbacks or delays. I must go back to the laboratory. That sealed chamber, I've got to get in there. Out of the frying pan into the mire. Right, Ikona, start the diversionary tactics.
IKONA: Have a care, Doctor. This bluff worked once. The Tetraps might not fall for it again.
(Ikona runs across the ground in front of the entrance, and the guard Tetrap sets off after him. The Doctor runs up to the entrance, where he is surrounded.)
URAK: We have been expecting you, Doctor.
(Urak sticks out his tongue.)

[Genius room]

MEL: We must be able to do something. Can't we make it blow a fuse?
BEYUS: What good would that do? At least he'll be kept alive in here.
MEL: Don't try to reason me into compliance, Beyus. You're wasting your breath.
(The Tetraps enter with the Doctor lying rigid in their arms.)
MEL: Doctor!
(They drop him onto the couch in his cabinet.)
URAK: You, Lakertyan. Connect this specimen to the main input.
MEL: No, leave him alone. I won't let you do
BEYUS: You have no choice.
(Urak leaves.)
BEYUS: Now, listen to me. They are completely without conscience. They will not hesitate to kill.

[The Rani's laboratory]

URAK: All went as you planned, mistress.
RANI: Good.

[Genius room]

(The Doctor has got a contraption with wires coming out of it on his head. The couch slides into the cabinet and the door drops.)
BEYUS: Set the temperature gauge, Mel.
MEL: I'm setting nothing.
BEYUS: Stubbornness will not help the Doctor.
MEL: And putting him in here will? Huh. Some twisted philosophy, if you like.
(The Rani enters.)
RANI: How far have you got?
BEYUS: I need to realign the final calibrations before he can be connected to the main input.
RANI: Make certain that the levels are kept stable.
MEL: If you're hoping for any positive results, you're going to be disappointed. The Doctor won't collaborate.
RANI: I'm sure, were he able, he'd express his appreciation of such unstinting confidence. As soon as the activity indicator reaches eight point one five, increase the stimulation.
(The Rani leaves, opens the door at the top of the stairs and goes up, followed by Urak. Mel follows and sees what lives inside the secret chamber.)

[Brain chamber]

(It is a giant brain, pulsing in the purple light. It speaks with several voices, in a mostly female pitch.)
BRAIN: To reproduce the Leptonic Era temperature of ten to the power of twelve K, it will be essential to create a cataclysmic explosion, the equivalent of a supernova.
RANI: Is this what you're looking for?
BRAIN: Our time dilation is not in question. Our understanding of time is still at a primitive stage.
RANI: It won't be once the Doctor has added his contribution.
MEL: No!
(The Rani and Urak hustle Mel out.)

[The Rani's laboratory]

RANI: Beyus!
BEYUS [OC]: Yes?

[Genius room]

RANI: Is the Doctor connected to the main input?
BEYUS: Everything is ready.
RANI: Then switch on!
MEL: No, Beyus! For once don't do as she
(Urak puts its paw over her mouth. Beyus turns on the Doctor's cabinet. Inside, he starts to twitch.)
RANI: The Doctor's well-being is in your hands now. Remember that.

[Brain chamber]

(The Rani enters.)
BRAIN: The barrier to understanding time is empirical thinking. I suggest a lateral approach.
(The Rani savours the moment as Mel screams, the Doctor shakes and the Brain pulses.)

Part Four

[Genius room]

URAK: You, Lakertyan, you will be responsible for this creature's behaviour.
(Urak lets Mel go, and she falls by the Doctor's cabinet. Beyus picks her up.)

[The Rani's laboratory]

(The Rani comes down the stairs and turns on the table monitor. Urak joins her.)
URAK: Time is getting short if we are to be ready for the solstice, mistress.
RANI: I'm aware of that.
(A Tetrap prowls the grounds outside. Ikona comes out of a cave in the cliff when it has passed.)
URAK: The Doctor must have had assistance from a Lakertyan rebel.
RANI: Mmm.
URAK: Shall I release the insects and kill all the Lakertyans?
RANI: Too drastic.
URAK: It is uncharacteristic of the mistress to be sentimental.
RANI: Sentiment has nothing to do with it. Wasting a resource does. Until this experiment is successfully concluded I can't be certain that I won't need them as a labour force. Selective retribution will bring any dissidents to heel.
(She gives a box to Urak and it leaves. It opens the Tetrap lair and calls to the others in their language. The troop of giant bats climb out and walk past Beyus and Mel to the exit. Ikona is hiding by the entrance while they all pass, now carrying web cannons, then he follows.)

[Genius room]

MEL: She might think she's harnessed the brain of a Time Lord but she's reckoned without one thing.
BEYUS: And what's that?
MEL: The Doctor's character.
(The Doctor's mouth is moving as if he is speaking very quickly. The Rani turns off the monitor and goes back to -)

[Brain chamber]

(An argument is underway between the brains constituent minds.)
MAN [OC]: I still assert that electron positron pairs can be prevented from recombining into photons.
DOCTOR [OC]: Really, this is not the place for double entendres.
WOMAN [OC]: You are all contributing gibberish.
MAN [OC]: My theory will provide the formula.
DOCTOR [OC]: A fool and his formula are soon parted.
MAN [OC]: Outrageous polemics.
DOCTOR [OC]: Gentlemen, such hostility. Remember, blessed are the pie makers for they shall make light pastry.
EINSTEIN: It is a fundamental postulate that all motion is relative.
DOCTOR [OC]: You wouldn't say that if you met my uncle.
MAN [OC]: Dismissing our position as decadent heresy is the refuge of the reactionary.
DOCTOR [OC]: Ah well, every dogma has its day.
RANI: I'll kill him!
(The Rani runs out of the chamber.)
WOMAN [OC]: It is stated in the special theory and has been demonstrated that an increase in velocity will increase matter.
RANI: I'll kill him!
DOCTOR [OC]: Exactly. The faster a fat man runs, the fatter he will get.
WOMAN [OC]: Well, of course

[Genius room]

RANI: Quickly, disconnect the Doctor. The fool has provoked multiple schizophrenia.
(The Rani turns off the cabinet.)
MEL: Congratulations. You brought us here.
RANI: And I shall dispose of you. This will rid me of the pair of you.
(While the Rani wrestles with her wrist computer, Mel opens the Doctor's cabinet. The Doctor comes out and grabs The Rani from behind.)
DOCTOR: Quick, Mel, don't just stand there, help me!
RANI: Let go of me, you interfering maniac.
(The Doctor and Mel push the Rani into the cabinet and close the door.)
MEL: Give her a taste of her own medicine. Shall I switch on?
DOCTOR: No, Mel. Two wrongs don't make a left turn. Right.
(The Doctor runs out, followed by Mel.)
RANI: Let me out! Let me out! Do you hear me?

[Brain chamber]

MEL: Doctor, before this regeneration you were on keen on cats and you know what curiosity did to them.
DOCTOR: Leave the quotes to the expert, Mel.
(They go along a cat walk to the cliff wall under the launch platform.)
DOCTOR: The rocket! It's a fixed trajectory.
MEL: It isn't all that will be fixed if we don't get out of here.
DOCTOR: So, the target is the asteroid, which at any moment now will reach the solstice and I'm sure that's the deadline. He who dares spins.
(They have returned to the main chamber. The Doctor activates some controls and a monitor lights up with an image of a big flash.)
DOCTOR: Whoops. A supernova.

[Centre of Leisure]

(The Tetraps enter and go down the stairs. Urak issues his orders from the balcony.)
URAK: Put those on the legs of all the Lakertyans. Disobey and I will release the killer insects from the globe.
(Ikona watches from a hiding place as a young male takes the box and hands out anklets.)
FAROON: Why are you doing this? We've cooperated.
URAK: Silence, Lakertyan! There have been too many unfriendly acts.
FAROON: Not by us. This is unjust. At least tell us what they're for.
URAK: I will demonstrate with the greatest of pleasure. You!
(Urak points to a young female who is wearing an anklet. He pushes a button on his wrist computer and the anklet explodes. Moments later, the young woman is a skeleton.)

[Genius room]

RANI: Beyus. Beyus, is that you? Let me out.
(Beyus walks past.)
RANI: Do you hear me? Open this door. Beyus, if you place any value on your people's lives, you will release me.
(Beyus turns back.)

[Centre of Leisure]

(Urak orders the Tetraps to leave. Once they have gone, Ikona goes over to Faroon.)
IKONA: I'll try and contact the Doctor. We need his help.

[Brain chamber]

DOCTOR: Do you realise how close the Rani must have taken her Tardis in order to record that?
MEL: All I realise is that we've seen what she intends to happen to Lakertya. Can she do it?
DOCTOR: Not by my reckoning. The only known detonator for exploding a strange matter asteroid is strange matter itself.
MEL: You said that strange matter was incredibly heavy.
DOCTOR: A lump the size of this brain would weigh as much as an entire planet.
MEL: Well, could she be using the brain to come up with a formula
DOCTOR: For a lightweight substitute. Could be, could be.
MEL: Well then, haven't we come up with the answer?
DOCTOR: Not completely. What I can't fathom is why the Rani took such an incredible risk to record a supernova.
MEL: To discover how to reconstruct the same event.
DOCTOR: No, more than that. She wouldn't be simply interested in a display of pyrotechnics. Too negative. No, there's a deeper motive and the answer's in here.
(He hits his own head.)
MEL: Well, calm down. Let's apply a bit of logic, shall we? What is it that you can contribute that those other geniuses can't?
DOCTOR: A knowledge of time. Oh, a great discovery. I worked that out ages ago.
RANI: So now you know.
DOCTOR: Not the complete story. The last chapter's missing. Keeping quiet, isn't it?
RANI: Perhaps, unlike you, it only speaks when it has something intelligent to say.
DOCTOR: Possibly. On the other hand it could be wondering why you want helium two. That's why you want to explode strange matter, isn't it? To reproduce helium two.
RANI: The last chapter, Doctor. The denouement.
(She turns the wall screen on.)
RANI: In the aftermath of the explosion, helium two will fuse with the upper zones of the Lakertyan atmosphere to form a shell of chronons. I don't have to tell you what chronons are, do I, Doctor?
DOCTOR: Indeed you don't. (to Mel) Discrete particles of time.
RANI: In the same millisecond that chronon shell is being formed, the hothouse effect of the gamma rays will cause the primate functions of the brain to go into chain reaction, multiplying until the gap between shell and planet is filled.
DOCTOR: A time manipulator. You're going to change this planet into a time manipulator.
RANI: A cerebral mass capable of dominating and controlling time anywhere in the cosmos.
DOCTOR: I don't believe it. A time manip. This monstrosity will give you the ability to change the order of creation.
RANI: Creation's chaotic. I shall introduce order. Wherever evolution has taken the wrong route, I shall redirect it. That planet you're so obsessed with, Earth, I shall return to the Cretaceous age. MEL: The cretaceous age?
RANI: The potential of the dinosaurs was never fully realised.
DOCTOR: That means Shakespeare, Michelangelo, Louis Pasteur, Elvis, even Mrs Malaprop will never have existed.

[The Rani's laboratory]

(Urak has returned.)
RANI [OC]: Your concern for these minions is pathetic. They're an inferior species.
DOCTOR [OC]: Thrust into the oblivion.
RANI: Why not?
DOCTOR [OC]: The same with Lakertya. All life on this planet will become extinct.
RANI [OC]: An unfortunate side effect.
DOCTOR [OC]: All living creatures left behind exterminated.
RANI [OC]: Of which you, Doctor, will be one.
DOCTOR [OC]: While you float off safely in your Tardis.

[Brain chamber]

RANI: Oh, I shall be back once, the turbulence has subsided.
DOCTOR: Before I thought you were a psychopath without murderous intent. I withdraw the qualification.
BRAIN: Eighty seven K to the power of nineteen E correlated with fifty two to the power of six point four equals twenty nine V
DOCTOR: Thirty nine.
(He realises what he has said and bites his fist and slaps the back of his hand.)
BRAIN: Correction is noted. Thirty nine V plus W. Eureka! Objective achieved. Loyhargil.
RANI: I knew it! I knew they could do it!
(The Doctor and Mel creep away.)

[The Rani's laboratory]

(The Doctor closes the Brain chamber door. Mel spots Urak.)
MEL: Doctor!
DOCTOR: Stay back!
(The Doctor grabs his umbrella and points it at Urak like a weapon. Mel grabs the net cannon and fires it over the Tetrap and he collapses.)
DOCTOR: As you snore, so shall you sleep.
MEL: Doctor.
(The Doctor goes back for his scarf.)
DOCTOR: Waste net, want net.
MEL: Come on!
(The Doctor and Mel run out. Beyus enters.)

[Outside the Rani's HQ]

MEL: About time, Ikona.
IKONA: Doctor, I've got to talk to you.
DOCTOR: And so you shall. You have a big part to play, Ikona. You must stir up the Lakertyans into fighting back. Come, quickly.

[Brain chamber]

(Beyus frees Urak from the net. Urak shrugs him off and opens the Brain chamber door to join the Rani.)
DOCTOR: The Doctor must be apprehended, mistress.
RANI: He is irrelevant. I have the Loyhargil. Nothing can stop me now.
(Thick goo is oozing from below the brain into a container.)

[Centre of Leisure]

IKONA: Unless you can tell them how to removes these bangles, they can't help.
DOCTOR: Hmm.
(The Doctor examines Faroon's anklet.)
DOCTOR: You've got to give the Rani full marks for ingenuity.
IKONA: Perhaps if we're careful we can cut them.
MEL: Oh, that's a daft idea. They're bound to be booby trapped.
DOCTOR: Less of the pessimism, Mel. Not all the cards are in the Rani's flavour.
(The Doctor uses a penknife to remove the cover from the anklet's control circuit.)
DOCTOR: Now, if we were to run a wire from here round to here, then the circuit wouldn't be broken when the bangle was open. Mel. You're the computer expert. How about it?
MEL: Where am I going to find the right sort of wire?
(The Doctor searches his pockets, but Ikona pulls a handful of filaments from an ornamental fibre optic light.)
IKONA: Where there's a will, there's a
DOCTOR: Beneficiary. Good thinking, Ikona.
(Mel uses the filament to create the bypass, and removes Faroon's anklet.)
DOCTOR: Well done, Mel. Ikona, I'm relying on you to help the Lakertyans help themselves for once. Remove the bangles.
IKONA: Right.
FAROON: Doctor, haven't you overlooked something? If the Rani releases the insects, we'll all be dead.
DOCTOR: She's not the only one with a sting in her tail.
FAROON: Sting?
DOCTOR: Sting. A double bluff. A speciality of mine.

[Brain chamber]

(The Rani and Urak are on the catwalk, watching the Loyhargil being lifted into the rocket.)
RANI: You'll stay on guard until after lift off.
URAK: After lift off, mistress?
RANI: You said yourself that the Doctor could still cause trouble. Remain here and see that he doesn't.
(The Rani starts the countdown.)
COMPUTER: One four nine.
URAK: And where is the mistress going?
RANI: To my Tardis. I want to monitor the experiment from there.
COMPUTER: One four six.
URAK: I would prefer to go with you.
RANI: No doubt, but you can't!
(Urak watches the Rani leave.)
COMPUTER: One four two. One four one. One four oh. One three nine. One three eight. One three seven. One three six. One three five. One three four. One three three. One three two. One three one.

[Genius room]

FAROON: Doctor.
BEYUS: Faroon, you were warned not to listen to him.
DOCTOR: When that voice reaches zero, there'll be nobody left on Lakertya to listen to me or anyone else.
FAROON: He's speaking the truth, Beyus.
COMPUTER: One two three. One two two.
BEYUS: What is it you want me to do?
DOCTOR: First see if there's anyone in there. Mel, all hands to the stumps.
MEL: Pumps.
COMPUTER: One one eight. One one seven.
(They release the geniuses.)
DOCTOR: Ikona, take good care of him.
IKONA: He's someone important?
DOCTOR: They all are. Louis Pasteur. He will rid his world of a major scourge. He will save the lives of tens of millions.
(Mel helps Einstein from his cabinet.)
FAROON: Doctor, come through.
DOCTOR: Whoops. Oh. Take them back to the Tardis.
(The Doctor takes the Tardis key from his hat and gives it to Mel.)
IKONA: Doctor!
(Ikona gives the Doctor his umbrella, full off anklets.)
DOCTOR: Thank you, Ikona.
COMPUTER: One two one. One hundred. Ninety nine.

[Brain chamber]

COMPUTER: Ninety eight. Ninety seven. Ninety six. Ninety five. Ninety four.
(Carefully, Beyus holds the umbrella while the Doctor and Faroon take out the anklets.)
COMPUTER: Ninety three, ninety two, ninety one.
(They place them around the Brain.)
COMPUTER: Ninety, eighty nine, eighty eight, eighty seven, eighty six, eighty five, eighty four, eighty three, eighty two, eighty one, eighty, seventy nine.
(The Doctor pulls a circuit board from the control panel and works on it.)
COMPUTER: Seventy four, seventy three, seventy two.
MEL: Doctor, we haven't a second to spare.
BEYUS: Mel's right, Doctor. I can finish here. You're the only one that can tackle the Rani.
DOCTOR: Don't leave it too late, Beyus.
BEYUS: I know what I have to do.
MEL: Doctor, come on.
BEYUS: Go with them, Faroon.
FAROON: But can't I wait with you, Beyus?
BEYUS: You've rarely questioned my actions before. This is the not the time to begin.
COMPUTER: Fifty nine, fifty eight, fifty seven

[The Rani's laboratory]

COMPUTER: Fifty six, fifty five, fifty four, fifty three
(The Doctor takes a large ornate flask from the corner cupboard of the table. The group run out of the Rani's HQ.)

[Brain chamber]

COMPUTER: Twenty, nineteen, eighteen, seventeen, sixteen.
(Beyus closes the door, sealing himself in, and checks on the explosives.)
COMPUTER: Fifteen, fourteen, thirteen, twelve, eleven, ten, nine, eight, seven
(Outside her Tardis, the Rani stops in horror as her wrist computer beeps. The countdown is flashing four, four, four.)
COMPUTER: Four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four, four.

[Outside the Rani's Tardis]

(The Doctor calls down from a rock slope.)
DOCTOR: Rani! It's over. You're beaten! I've aborted the launch and the Lakertyans are preparing to attack.
RANI: You imbecile. You've signed their death warrants.
(The Rani sets off the anklet explosives.)

[Brain chamber]

COMPUTER: Four, four, four
(KaBOOM! They all go, killing Beyus whilst destroying the Brain.)
COMPUTER: Three, two, one, lift off.
(The rocket takes off, then the ramp and the Brain chamber behind it explode.)

[Outside the Tardis]

(The Rani runs into her Tardis and it dematerialises. The rocket flies off into space. The Doctor runs to meet Mel and the Lakertyans gathered by the Tardis.)
DOCTOR: The delay in lift off means the rocket will miss the asteroid.
MEL: (sotto) Are you certain?
DOCTOR: Absolutely. A miss is as good as a smile.
(He crosses his fingers behind his back. The rocket sails underneath the spinning asteroid.)

[Tardis]

(The assembled geniuses are watching the scanner, except Einstein, who is studying the console. The Doctor opens the interior door.)
DOCTOR: This way, ladies, gentlemen, others. I'll get you back to where you belong. Hopefully.
(He takes Einstein's arm and steers him after the others.)
DOCTOR: I'll explain how it works later. It's all relative.
(He closes the door behind them.)
DOCTOR: Mel.

[Outside the Tardis]

DOCTOR: Goodbye, Faroon. When I think of Beyus I shall remember with admiration the sacrifice he made.
FAROON: He must have been convinced that it was the only way to be certain of saving the rest of us.
IKONA: He'll not be forgotten.
FAROON: Nor will you, Doctor.
MEL: Well, cheerio, Ikona.
IKONA: I wish I were coming with you.
MEL: No one will credit this, least of all you, but so do I.
IKONA: I do have another regret.
DOCTOR: What's that?
IKONA: After all the suffering she's caused, the Rani has escaped to freedom in her Tardis.

[The Rani's Tardis]

(The Rani is hanging from the ceiling of her console room, surrounded by upside down Tetraps.)
URAK: Mistress, you have taught us so much. When we return to Tetrapiriarbus, your incredible brain will show us how to overcome our needs. There will be plasma in abundance.
RANI: No.

[Outside the Tardis]

DOCTOR: Memory like a dromedary.
(The Doctor produces the ornate bottle he took from the Rani's table.)
DOCTOR: An antidote against those killer insects in the globe. The Rani always takes out an insurance policy.
(The Doctor hands it to Ikona, who removes the stopper and pours the liquid onto the ground.)
MEL: You're impossible. Why did you do that?
IKONA: Tell her, Faroon.
FAROON: Ikona believes that our people should meet their own challenges, if they are to survive.
DOCTOR: Well, time and tide melts the snowman.
MEL: Waits for no man.
DOCTOR: Who's waiting? I'm ready.
MEL: You're certainly going to take a bit of getting used to.
DOCTOR: I'll grow on you, Mel. I'll grow on you.

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