(Dry ice floods into the large open space. By
upper railings stand people in white uniforms with Prussian style hats
- the ones with a nasty spike sticking out of the top. Another waits
downstairs. A woman, also in white, leads in six people. Everyone say
Patricia Quinn aka Magenta from the Rocky Horror Picture
KRACAUER: Oh, you lucky, lucky people. You are the chosen ones, the
elite, specially selected to join our force of mercenaries and create
fear and terror wherever you go.
(Everyone say Hi! to Tony
Osoba, back again after eight years.)
ZED: We were tricked.
KRACAUER: Kane has paid seventeen crowns for each of you, and he
insists on value for money.
ZED: Seventeen crowns? You couldn't even buy a dog for seventeen
KRACAUER: Precisely. I wouldn't have paid seventeen crowns for the lot
of you, let alone each.
(Kracauer pushes him back and he falls, touching one of the boxes
giving out the dry ice. It burns.)
KRACAUER: Only frostburn.
KRACAUER: Liquid nitrogen. Minus two hundred Celsius. Just be thankful
your arm didn't go inside the vat, otherwise it would never have come
out again. Right, freeze them.
ZED: Wait! You mean we're going to be frozen?
KRACAUER: Until Kane needs your services, yes. What's the matter,
getting cold feet?
(Belazs moves the other men out. Zed hits the remaining guard, takes
his weapon and tries to run for it. Kracauer starts shooting.)
KRACAUER: Kill him!
(Zed runs through a door.)
KRACAUER: Leave him. He's in the restricted zone. He's a dead man.
(Zed has gone into a room where an old man is
chiseling at a huge slab of ice. He trips and drops his newly acquired
weapon into a vat. A white clad arm with gold braid reaches in and
takes it out, handing it back. Zed drops it on the floor, where it
shatters, then the pale faced man puts his hands on ??'s face, and he
KANE: Pay no attention to the intruder. You may continue with your
(The scanner shows small planetoid sunlit at the
bottom and with a massive city on the opposite side.)
MEL: Where is it?
DOCTOR: Iceworld. A space trading colony on the dark side of the planet
Svartos. Space travellers stop there for supplies. I've been picking up
a faint tracking signal for some time. I think there's something
interesting going on there, Mel.
(A woman looks in a chest freezer then drags her
daughter away. The tannoy makes an announcement.)
ANNOUNCER [OC]: Don't miss our special offer in the nurturing spares
department. Photon refrigeration units for only twenty four ninety
five. Thank you.
(The Tardis materialises. Only the little girl looks up as Mel and the
Doctor come out.)
MEL: A freezer centre? How boring.
DOCTOR: Oh, trust not appearances, Mel. You never know what might be
lurking in the freezer chests. Think gothic.
(The little girl runs up to Mel wearing a mask, making her gasp then
DOCTOR: This way.
(Amongst the people at the tables of this down
market Cantina is Sabalom Glitz, who is complaining about something to
a well built teenaged waitress. Everyone say Hi! to Sophie Aldred.)
DOCTOR: Ah, two of your best strawberry milkshakes, if you please.
ANDERSON: Certainly, sir.
GLITZ: There must be some mistake in the reckoning.
(The Doctor and Mel sit at the next table, and he takes out a book to
read. The Doctor's Dilemma, by Bernard Shaw.)
ACE: The mistake's in your wallet, not my arithmetic.
GLITZ: Do you take Asteroid Express?
(Ace takes the credit card and goes to the bar as the Doctor and Mel
join Glitz at his table.)
GLITZ: What? No, never heard of him.
MEL: It's us, Mel and the Doctor. You haven't forgotten us, have you,
GLITZ: Shush. Keep your voice down. No, of course I haven't forgotten
you. Mel, and the Doc. Here, you're not the Doctor.
DOCTOR: I've regenerated. The difference is purely perceptual.
GLITZ: Here, you couldn't do us a favour, could you? You see, I'm in a
spot of bother.
(Ace brings the Doctor and Mel's drinks.)
DOCTOR: What's this, Glitz? Not another one of your dodgy deals
GLITZ: No, no, nothing like that, straight up. Fact is, I'm on a
mission of highly philanthropic nature.
MEL: What's that?
GLITZ: It means it's beneficial to mankind.
MEL: We know what philanthropic means. What's the mission?
GLITZ: I have been entrusted to deliver certain secret documents which
nefarious unnamed parties would stop at nothing to grasp within their
own grubby digits.
DOCTOR: You mean
MEL: They'd kill you.
(Three of Kane's white clad mercenaries. Belazs touches Glitz'
BELAZS: Sabalom Glitz, we've been looking for you.
MEL: Leave him alone. If you kill him, you kill us too.
DOCTOR: Er, steady on there, Mel.
BELAZS: What are you talking about?
MEL: Oh, he's told us everything, about how you tried to stop him
delivering secret documents
BELAZS: Becoming quite a story-teller, aren't we, Glitz? I'm afraid you
also seem to be a victim of Mister Glitz's cavalier attitude toward
BELAZS: I'm not interested in any secret documents which Mister Glitz
may or may not possess. I am more concerned with the hundred crowns he
took from my employer, Mister Kane, under false pretences.
GLITZ: That was highest quality merchandise.
BELAZS: A space freighter full of deep frozen fruit which turned out to
GLITZ: Oh, a bit on the ripe side, maybe.
BELAZS: They were putrefying, Glitz.
GLITZ: A little past their prime, perhaps.
BELAZS: And Mister Kane does not run Iceworld to subsidise crooks like
yourself. The hundred crowns, please.
DOCTOR: I think you'd better pay back the money, Glitz.
GLITZ: I can't.
DOCTOR: Why not?
GLITZ: Well, you see, there was this game of cards. I got well damaged.
BELAZS: What about the hundred and two crowns you sold your crew for?
(The Doctor returns to his book.)
MEL: Sold your crew?
GLITZ: Well, the mutinous rabble. They tried to take command of my
spacecraft. I relieved myself of them for seventeen crowns a piece.
Rather more than they were worth, I think.
BELAZS: The money.
GLITZ: Gone the way of all organic matter, I'm afraid. Down the tube.
BELAZS: In that case, we're confiscating your spacecraft.
GLITZ: The Nosferatu? You can't do that.
BELAZS: You have seventy two hours to find one hundred crowns or you
lose your spacecraft.
GLITZ: But it's my livelihood.
(Belazs and the two mercenaries leave.)
GLITZ: Doctor, you've got to help me.
DOCTOR: You've only got yourself to blame.
(The remaining members of Glitz's crew go into
KRACAUER: We're going to have trouble with this lot when you defrost
them, Mister Kane.
KRACAUER: They didn't volunteer willingly.
KANE: None of my mercenary force will be willing when I bring them out
of cryosleep. The process causes complete loss of memory. With no
memories they can have no past, no future, no will of their own, no
purpose except to obey me. To them I shall be invincible. My power
shall be absolute.
ANDERSON: You will do as you're told. Less of your
lip or you'll be out on your ear.
(Ace delivers a drink to a customer then goes to Mel and the Doctor.
Glitz is listening in from his table.)
ACE: Hope the dragon gets you in the night.
MEL: Dragon? What dragon?
ACE: It's just a legend. There's supposed to be a terrifying dragon
living in the ice passages underneath Iceworld.
MEL: I knew there must be a reason why you brought us here. You want to
see the dragon, don't you.
DOCTOR: Oh really, Mel, it's fascinating. Travellers claim to have seen
it throughout the centuries but there's never been any proof.
MEL: Like the Lock Ness monster.
ACE: You're going to go looking for the dragon?
ACE: Oh, cool. Can I come too?
DOCTOR: Won't you get into trouble with your boss?
ACE: Oh, I'm fed up with being a waitress. Oh, go on, Professor, let me
DOCTOR: Well, I don't see why not.
ACE: Ace! And can we search for the treasure, too?
ACE: Yeah. The dragon's supposed to be guarding a fabulous treasure.
GLITZ: (laughs) Treasure? What treasure? You don't want to go believing
in myths and legends, Doctor.
MEL: Who asked you? We're not talking to you.
GLITZ: No, if you want my opinion, all this talk of treasure and
dragons, it's all a load of old spacedust.
ACE: Well, if you're so convinced it's all rubbish, why have you been
burning holes in this treasure map for the last two days?
BELAZS: He says he lost the money in a game of
KANE: I know he lost the money in a game of cards. The game was fixed.
What about the map?
BELAZS: He's convinced it's genuine.
KANE: Excellent. He'll soon realise if he wants to see his spacecraft
again he has no alternative but to go after the treasure. And when he
does, I shall be with him every step of the way.
BELAZS: There's just one thing.
BELAZS: He appears to have two colleagues.
KANE: Colleagues? I thought he sold his entire crew.
BELAZS: They're not from his crew, sir. Space travellers. A man and a
girl. Do you want them eliminated?
KANE: Not for the moment, I think. There's no reason for them to
suspect that the seal on the treasure map contains a tracking device.
(The Doctor is studying the map.)
DOCTOR: Fascinating. Absolutely fascinating.
MEL: Looks like something from a jumble sale to me.
GLITZ: Oi, there's nothing snide about this document.
ACE: You don't want to believe nothing you get from him, Professor. He
probably bought two hundred of them in a job lot.
GLITZ: Do you mind? This is the real McCoy, this is. It comes from an
ACE: What's that, then?
GLITZ: That means it is beyond reproach or question.
ACE: I know what unimpeachable means, bird bath, but what makes you so
certain this map's pedigree is twenty four carat?
GLITZ: Because I acquired it from a man of character and distinction.
GLITZ: I won it in er, a chess match.
MEL: You won it playing cards. Doctor, it's a waste of time. He won it
in a card game.
GLITZ: An honest transaction. The man was desperate not to lose this
map, so I know it's something very, very tasty.
DOCTOR: It shows the lower levels of Iceworld.
ACE: No one goes down there any more. Too dangerous.
DOCTOR: The Ice Garden, the Singing Trees.
GLITZ: But like the girl says, Doctor, it's too dangerous.
DOCTOR: Where's your sense of adventure, Glitz?
GLITZ: What, do you want to go here, the Lake of Oblivion?
GLITZ: Depth of Eternal Darkness? Dragonfire? I should stop at home, if
I were you.
ACE: Cor, this sounds brill.
DOCTOR: My sentiments precisely. What's your name, incidentally?
ACE: Everyone calls me Ace.
DOCTOR: Oh, how do you do. I'm the Doctor and this is my friend Mel.
ACE: And we're really going to go looking for dragons?
GLITZ: Too risky if you ask me.
DOCTOR: Nonsense, Glitz. Time for a quick adventure then back for tea.
MEL: That's the spirit, Doctor.
(The Doctor folds up the map.)
GLITZ: Hang about! You can't go without me, that's my map. And I don't
want these girls coming along, either.
GLITZ: It's too dangerous.
GLITZ: And since it's my map
ACE: Right, you male chauvinist bilge bag, just you wait.
GLITZ: Oh, nice.
DOCTOR: And I was so looking forward to meeting a dragon.
MEL: Oh, it's all right, Doctor, you go on ahead. I'll wait here. And
if Glitz burns his fingers in the dragon's fire, then it serves him
GLITZ: It's just you and me, then, Doctor.
(The Doctor stops to tickle a hairy child under the chin. It barks and
snarls at him.)
BELAZS: They have left the upper levels now.
KANE: Only two of them, you say?
BELAZS: Glitz and the traveller called the Doctor. They're just setting
off for the lower levels.
KANE: Excellent. Continue to monitor the tracking device. Well?
BELAZS: It's Glitz's spacecraft.
KANE: What of it?
BELAZS: It's just that
BELAZS: Well, if Glitz and the Doctor are as good as dead, I'd like the
KANE: Oh, you'd like the spacecraft, would you? When you first came
here you had nothing. You were willing enough to take my payment then.
But now you want to leave. Perhaps you have memories of a home you can
return to? Perhaps I should have put you into cryosleep along with all
the others and erased your memories.
(Kane takes Belazs' face with one hand and holds up his ungloved hand
to it. She flinches and he takes her left hand instead.)
KANE: Perhaps you need reminding. As long as you bear my mark, I own
(Her palm has the imprint of a coin burnt into it. Kane activates the
MAN [OC]: Yes, sir?
KANE: Glitz's spacecraft. Have it destroyed.
MAN [OC]: Yes, sir.
(Ace takes drinks to the woman and her daughter,
then unpins her bun to release a pony tail.)
ANNOUNCER [OC]: Would the emergency services please report to the
docking bay to deal with an icing up. Thank you.
MEL: It's all your fault.
ACE: How'd you work that out?
MEL: You were encouraging them both. Oh ace, oh brill.
WOMAN: You girl. Yes, you, girl. Come here.
ACE: What do you want?
WOMAN: This milkshake isn't adequately shaken.
ACE: That's how they come, missus.
WOMAN: It's got lumps in it.
MEL: It's supposed to have lumps in it. That's the ice cream.
WOMAN: But we don't want lumps in it. Shake it some more.
ACE: Shake it yourself.
WOMAN: I beg your pardon?
ACE: You heard.
WOMAN: I've never been so insulted
ACE: Bet you've never had a milk shake tipped over your head, neither.
(Ace is as good as her word. The woman squeals and the barman cum
manager rushes to her.)
ANDERSON: I'm awfully sorry, madam. That does it, you're fired.
ACE: I'm sorry. It won't happen again.
ANDERSON: Get out. I've had enough of you.
ACE: I promise it'll never happen again.
ANDERSON: Get out! You too, out.
ANDERSON: Both of you. Out!
MEL: All right, I'm going.
ANDERSON: You're troublemakers, hooligans. I do apologise for my staff.
I do assure you, those milk shakes don't stain.
(Ace's last act is to tip one over his head, too.)
(The image of a woman is being cut from the ice
block. Kane admires it then goes to lie on a table.)
COMPUTER: Current ambient temperature minus ten Celsius. Target
temperature minus a hundred and ninety three Celsius.
(A clear lid closes over Kane.)
COMPUTER: Cabinet temperature dropping.
(A typical teenage mess.)
ANNOUNCER [OC]: If there's anyone in the emergency control room, would
you please answer the phone. Thank you.
(Ace and Mel enter. Ace throws herself on the bed.)
ACE: Well, come on in, if you're going to. He really gets up my
nostrils, that Glitz.
MEL: Oh, he's all right underneath.
ACE: No. He's a grade A hundred percent div, that's what he is.
(Mel starts picking up clothes in the hunt for a chair to sit on.)
ACE: Look, leave those alone, will you?
MEL: I was only trying to make room to sit.
ACE: Well, just sit on top of them like everyone else does, can't you?
MEL: All right, all right.
ACE: I've been meaning to do the washing for a couple of weeks.
MEL: Looks more like a couple of months to me.
ACE: You're just like the teachers used to be at school. How do you
expect to pass your chemistry A level if you can't even store the
MEL: A level? You're from Earth?
ACE: Used to be.
MEL: Whereabouts on Earth?
MEL: Sounds nice.
ACE: You ever been there?
ACE: I was doing this brill experiment to extract nitroglycerine from
gelignite, but I think something must have gone wrong. This time storm
blows up from nowhere and whisks me up here.
MEL: When was this?
ACE: Does it matter?
MEL: Well, don't you ever want to go back?
ACE: Not particularly.
(Ace changes out of her waitress apron and puts on a padded jacket
decorated with NASA space mission badges. And a Fanderson one, and Ace
MEL: What about your mum and dad?
ACE: I haven't got no mum and dad. I've never had no mum and dad and I
don't want no mum and dad. It's just me, all right?
MEL: Sorry. What about your chemistry A level, then?
ACE: That's no good. I got suspended after I blew up the art room.
MEL: You blew up the art room?
ACE: It was only a small explosion. They couldn't understand how
blowing up the art room was a creative act.
ANNOUNCER [OC]: If anyone sees any member of the emergency services,
will you please ask them to pop along to the upper docking bay when
they've a moment to spare. Thank you.
(Ace takes some pressurised cans from a rucksack.)
ACE: Isn't anyone going to do anything about that ice jam blocking the
docking bay? Here, take these.
ACE: They're just old cans. They've got home made Nitro Nine in them
MEL: Nitro Nine?
ACE: It's just like ordinary nitroglycerine, except it's got a bit more
wallop. Careful you don't drop them. Come on.
(Ace puts the rucksack over her shoulder and leaves.)
(Belazs watches Kane in the restricted zone
through a glass door.)
COMPUTER: Cabinet at minus a hundred and ninety three Celsius.
(She goes to the central console and activates the communicator.)
MAN [OC]: Yes, sir.
BELAZS: It's me, Belazs. (pronounced Belaj) Mister Kane has changed his
mind about Glitz's spacecraft. It's not to be destroyed, do you
MAN [OC]: Spacecraft is not to be destroyed.
BELAZS: That is correct.
(The Doctor and Glitz are following the map along
catwalks between walls of ice. They stop at an intersection.)
DOCTOR: Have you seen any Singing Trees or Ice Gardens, Glitz?
GLITZ: We're still too close to the upper levels, Doctor. Let's cast me
eyes over the map.
DOCTOR: Well, since we've come from that direction, I think we should
go in that direction. Then again
(Glitz drops the map and bends to retrieve it as the Doctor's umbrella
swings above his head.)
DOCTOR: Perhaps that direction. Yes. And keep your eyes peeled for any
Singing Trees or Ice Gardens, Glitz.
KRACAUER: Come on, both sides, push! Harder! Push.
(Mel and Ace enter.)
ACE: Gordon Bennett, what a bunch of Spocks. They'll never get it open
at that rate. Here, let's have a couple of those.
MEL: You're not going to use those, are you?
(Ace pulls the tops of the cans and walks up to the frozen hatchway.)
ACE: If I were you lot, I'd go for your tea break now.
(She sticks the cans on the ice.)
KRACAUER: Why? What's in those cans?
ACE: Nitro Nine. We've got eight seconds. Last one back's a gooey mess.
(Ace and Mel run.)
KRACAUER: Nitro? Everybody, get down!
(Belazs enters and goes over to the temperature
monitor, then back to the sculpture.)
COMPUTER: Target blood temperature of minus one hundred and ninety
three Celsius achieved.
(Kane gets out of his cabinet.)
KANE: What are you doing in the restricted zone?
BELAZS: I was looking for you. There's been an ice jam in the upper
docking bay and the emergency services haven't responded.
KANE: Must I do everything myself? Go there immediately and take charge
of the situation.
BELAZS: Of course.
(An area of stalactites, crystalline stalagmites
and a tinkling sound.)
DOCTOR: Singing Trees.
GLITZ: But these aren't trees.
DOCTOR: Use your imagination, Glitz. Willow trees, something like that.
GLITZ: Well, where's the singing coming from?
DOCTOR: Air current causes the crystal membranes to vibrate.
(Glitz picks up an icicle.)
GLITZ: I bet this is worth a few grotzits.
DOCTOR: Yes, what's it do?
DOCTOR: Yes. Some sort of opto-electronic circuit. But why? I mean,
what's it doing here?
GLITZ: You mean someone made all this? Dragons?
DOCTOR: Possibly. Come on, Glitz. Tempus fugit. I want to be back in
time for tea.
(Belazs enters with an escort.)
BELAZS: What is going on? You two are under arrest. Take them away.
ACE: Hang about! Put me down.
(Mel and Ace are hustled away.)
ACE: Leave me alone! Get off! Stop it! Not fair!
(Glitz takes a right turn by a formation that
looks like flowers, leaving the Doctor alone on the slippery
DOCTOR: Glitz? Glitz? Glitz?
KANE: Quite a little expert with explosives, I
ACE: Yeah? So what if I am.
KANE: Excellent. I like women with fire in their bellies, don't I,
Belazs? I might yet have a use for you.
ACE: Oh yeah? What makes you think I'd be interested?
KANE: Oh, I can be very persuasive.
ACE: I'm not frightened of you.
KANE: Good. Because I shall need people like you in my army of
ACE: You what?
KANE: Think about it. Travelling through the twelve galaxies, the
diamond sparkle of meteorite showers, the rainbow flashes of an ion
storm. Think about it.
MEL: Don't listen to him, Ace!
(Ace snaps out of her trance.)
KANE: How old are you?
ACE: Six, eighteen.
KANE: Eighteen, eh? No home to call your own. The twelve galaxies are
your home. Come with me. I understand you.
MEL: It won't be like that, Ace! Don't believe him.
KANE: Join me. Take my golden sovereign.
(He puts it on the console for her. It's intense cold steams against
KANE: Take the sovereign.
MEL: Don't do it, Ace! Please, don't do it!
KANE: You've heard altogether too much. Freeze her!
MEL: No, Ace!
KANE: Take my coin. Take the coin.
(Ace knocks the coin to the floor and brandishes a can of Nitro Nine.)
ACE: Right, freeze! I mean, don't freeze. Stand still and let Mel go.
KANE: You stupid girl. Think it's that easy to walk away from me?
ACE: Do you feel like arguing with a can of deodorant that registers
nine on the Richter scale? Run!
(Mel and Ace run out and meet up on the ice
catwalk. They keep running. Meanwhile, the Doctor finds himself at the
top of an ice cliff. For some bizarre reason, he climbs over the
railing. Ace and Mel stop running in a dark area.)
MEL: Hang on, are you sure this is the right way?
ACE: Course I'm sure. Don't you trust me?
MEL: I don't know. What with the dragon and all that.
ACE: The dragon. It's just something to frighten little children with.
It's like witches and goblins. There ain't no such thing.
(Then something black and rather dragonesque approaches them. Mel
screams. Meanwhile the Doctor is hanging off a railing running along
the edge of the ice cliff. He reaches for his umbrella which is also
hooked onto the railing, but his hands slide down the fabric, leaving
him dangling above an abyss.)
MEL: Get down!
(Mel pulls Ace back before it fires something that sparks when it hits
ACE: That's not a real dragon. That was a laser beam.
MEL: Look out!
(Glitz is looking over the railing at the Doctor
dangling from his umbrella.)
GLITZ: It's no use, Doctor. I've located the Ice Garden but there's a
distinct absence of dragon or treasure.
DOCTOR: Glitz, I sympathise with your disappointment, but I'm about to
plummet to my death.
GLITZ: Oh, I suppose you want me to risk my neck and come and help you.
GLITZ: All right, all right. Don't get your delicates in a twist.
KANE: Belazs, you astound me. Those two girls
should have been searched when they were arrested. You seem to be
taking advantage of my former feelings for you. Be warned, the past is
an empty slate. I demand absolute loyalty now and forever, and I don't
forgive those who betray me. The girls must be stopped before they
reach Glitz and the Doctor. They must be eradicated.
(Kane activates the control to open up some freezer units.)
KANE: What could be more appropriate than to despatch some of Glitz's
former crew after the girls. He betrayed his crew, now they can have
their revenge. Everyone should be allowed his moment of revenge.
[Base of the Ice cliff]
(The Doctor climbs down off Glitz's shoulders in
the most convoluted fashion, ending upside down between his legs.)
DOCTOR: I say, thank you.
GLITZ: It's no use, Doctor. Even if we did find the treasure, it'd take
us longer than seventy two hours, and Belazs said if I didn't return
Kane's money within seventy two hours they'd confiscate my spacecraft.
DOCTOR: Why don't you explain the problem to him?
GLITZ: Oh, he'd slice his own mother up to make a point. If he was a
mortician, the corpses would keep their eyes open.
GLITZ: In fact, if Kane knew we were after the
(Belazs is listening in via the tracker in the map
GLITZ [OC]: Dragon's treasure, your life expectancy wouldn't be looking
too clever at the moment. He's a cold man, Doctor. Cut him open and you
won't find a heart, just a lump of ice.
[Base of the Ice cliff]
DOCTOR: These types never have any sense of fair
GLITZ: Exactly. Which is why I've come to the conclusion that play it
by the rules is a mug's game. I have decided to hijack the Nosferatu.
Which is where you come in, Doctor.
DOCTOR: Ah, hang on there a minute, Glitz. I'm engaged in a project of
scientific curiosity. I mean, that dragon, or whatever it may turn out
to be, could be an undiscovered species.
GLITZ: Look, I'll do you a good deal. You help me get the Nosferatu
back, and I'll give you the treasure map so's you and Mel can go
looking for this dragon. I can't say fairer than that, can I?
DOCTOR: You have me there, Glitz. Without the map, I'll never find the
GLITZ: You're a man of insight and logic, Doctor.
(Glitz gives the Doctor the map.)
DOCTOR: All right, then. Where's the Nosferatu berthed?
GLITZ [OC]: In the lower docking bay.
(The zombie crew march along the ice cat walks.)
(The sculptor is at work.)
KANE: A work of artistry, my friend. Incandescent artistry. I could
almost believe Xana lives again. A unique beauty, yes, but more than
that, a criminal genius also. Oh, what a waste. It should have been I
who was killed escaping arrest, not you.
[Top of the Ice cliff]
ACE: You're joking. I'm not going down there.
MEL: Look, there's the Doctor's brolly. We must be on the right track.
ACE: What did he have to come this way for? I could break my neck.
MEL: How are we going to get down there?
ACE: Hang on.
(Ace rummages in her rucksack and produces a roll of slim metal
[Lower docking bay]
GLITZ: There's only one guard. Do you think you
can occupy him while I slip on board?
DOCTOR: I'll do my best.
GLITZ: Go on, then. Away you go.
(The Doctor walks up to the guard.)
DOCTOR: Excuse me. What's your attitude towards the nature of
existence? For example, do you hold any strong theological opinions?
GUARD: I think you'll find most educated people regard mythical
convictions as fundamentally animistic.
DOCTOR: I see. That's a very interesting concept.
GUARD: Personally, I find most experiences border on the existential.
DOCTOR: Well, how do you reconcile that with the empirical critical
belief that experience is at the root of all phenomena?
GUARD: I think you'll find that a concept can be philosophically valid
even if theologically meaningless.
DOCTOR: So, what you're saying is that before Plato existed, someone
had to have the idea of Plato.
(Glitz slips into the docking bay.)
GUARD: Oh, you've no idea what a relief it is for me to have such a
stimulating philosophical discussion. There are so few intellectuals
about these days. Tell me, what do you think of the assertion that the
semiotic thickness of a performed text varies according to the
redundancy of auxiliary performance codes?
(Mel starts down the ladder, collecting the Doctor's umbrella on the
way. Ace follows.)
(Small, messy with a pair of giant fluffy dice
dangling from a chain.)
GLITZ: Ah, my ship. Soon be light years away from this place.
(Glitz straps himself into the pilots seat then gets a gun placed to
BELAZS: I wouldn't touch those controls if I were you.
[Base of the Ice cliff]
ACE: Wicked. And the bilge bag said this was too
dangerous for girls.
BELAZS: This spacecraft is mine.
GLITZ: Hang on, the seventy two hours aren't up yet. You said if I
could get hold of the grotzits I could have the Nosferatu back.
BELAZS: Then I shall just have to make sure you don't manage to find
the money in time. I shall have to make very sure.
(The Doctor runs in.)
DOCTOR: Hello. Not interrupting anything, am I?
BELAZS: What are you doing here?
DOCTOR: That's a very difficult question. Why is everyone round here so
preoccupied with metaphysics?
GLITZ: I think she's going to kill us, Doctor.
DOCTOR: Ah. An existentialist.
BELAZS: Quiet! Only one of us can leave Iceworld aboard the Nosferatu,
and one way or the other it's going to be me.
GLITZ: What about the boss, Mister Kane? Does he know of your little
BELAZS: Kane doesn't own me.
DOCTOR: Oh, I think he does. I think he bought you like he buys
everything in Iceworld.
BELAZS: What would you know about it?
DOCTOR: I think he bought you a long time ago. He paid seventeen crowns
for each of Glitz's crew. How much did he pay for you? Was it worth it?
Were you worth it?
(Belazs holds up her burnt palm.)
BELAZS: That's what I sold myself for, Kane's mark. I ought to cut my
hand off for doing it.
(While Belazs is distracted by the Doctor, Glitz unbuckles himself and
takes her gun.)
BELAZS: Go on, then. Kill me!
GLITZ: Well, come on, Doctor. We've got the Nosferatu back. Let's get
out of here.
DOCTOR: No, Glitz. You can't go on stealing everything you want, like
this Stradivarius and that Dutch master. Pay Kane back his debt, even
if it costs a thousand crowns, ten thousand crowns. Pay back the debt.
And as for you, your debt to Kane, I don't think you'll be able to pay
it off. Ever.
(The statue is completed.)
KANE: The whole of eternity has held its breath for this moment. But no
one must ever see your work. It exists, that is enough. No one can ever
look upon your work and live. Gaze on it and die fulfilled.
(Kane places his bare hands on the sculptor's face and freezes him to
MEL: What's the matter?
ACE: Shush. Did you hear that?
MEL: Hear what?
ACE: I thought I heard something.
MEL: Well, what kind of something?
(The zombie crew are coming up behind them.)
ACE: I don't know. Can you see anything?
(More crew come round the corner.)
MEL: Look out!
(Elsewhere, a bulkhead door creaks open. It is the Doctor and Glitz.)
DOCTOR: I think we go straight on. (distant roar) Either that, or we
(They start to creep along a catwalk, then the dragon fires its lasers
at them. They retreat behind the bulkhead door again.)
GLITZ: Well, now that we've found the Dragonfire, what's next on your
list of tourist attractions, Doctor?
DOCTOR: Well, I'm not absolutely certain this one's over yet.
(The bulkhead is getting hot from the dragon trying to cut through it.)
DOCTOR: It must be generating a spot temperature in excess of fifteen
(Back with the girls, Mel pulls the top off a can.)
MEL: Right, cover your ears.
(Boom! The zombies don't like it.)
ACE: Ace! Yeah, good job. Throw the other one.
ACE: Yeah, go for it, tiger. That was well brill.
MEL: We're not in the clear yet.
(A zombie gets up.)
ACE: I don't believe it. Not after two cans of Nitro. Nothing can
survive that. Come on, Mel, shift!
(Around the corner Mel slips and hits her head on some metal stairs.)
ACE: Come on! Come on, wake up.
(Ace drags Mel under the stairs. The zombie clomps round the corner and
goes up the stairs, standing directly above them. Then he goes back
down and continues along the catwalk.)
MEL: Oh, what happened?
ACE: It's all right, doughnut. He's gone.
(The dragon cuts through the bulkhead door.)
GLITZ: Get back, Doctor.
(Glitz aims Belazs's gun at the dragon.)
DOCTOR: No, Glitz, don't.
DOCTOR: We've got no right to kill.
(The Doctor throws the gun away and the dragon leaves.)
GLITZ: Why didn't it kill us?
DOCTOR: Perhaps we'd better ask it.
KRACAUER: Can't sleep, Belazs?
BELAZS: How old do you think I am, Kracauer?
KRACAUER: Thirty three, thirty four?
BELAZS: And how old do you think I was when I first agreed to join
Kane? Sixteen. That was a long time ago. Do you see this?
KRACAUER: Yes, the mark of the sovereign.
BELAZS: You'd have thought it would begin to disappear after twenty
KRACAUER: We sold ourselves. We knew what we were doing. We had a
BELAZS: I was sixteen.
KRACAUER: Even at sixteen we had a choice.
BELAZS: He'll kill us. He'll find someone younger and he'll kill us
unless we kill him first.
KRACAUER: How do you propose to do that?
BELAZS: With heat. Even here in Iceworld it's too warm for him. I've
seen inside the restricted zone. That's where he keeps his
refrigeration unit. He has to return there whenever his body
temperature rises too high.
ACE: Do you want some coffee?
MEL: Oh, thanks.
(Ace gets a large thermos from her rucksack.)
ACE: Do you know what I did for a job when they threw me out of school?
ACE: I worked as a waitress in a fast food cafe. Day in, day out, same
boring routine. Some boring life. It was all wrong. It didn't feel like
me that was doing it at all. I felt like I'd fallen from another planet
and landed in this strange girl's body, but it wasn't me at all. I was
meant to be somewhere else. Each night I'd walk home and I'd look up at
the stars through the gaps in the clouds, and I tried to imagine where
I really came from. I dreamed that one day everything would come right.
I'd be carried off back home, back to my real mum and dad. Then it
actually happened and I ended up here. Ended up working as a waitress
again, only this time I couldn't dream about going nowhere else. There
wasn't nowhere else to go.
KANE: One day, when we return home, I shall erect
colossal statues in your honour.
(Kane gets into his refrigeration unit.)
COMPUTER: Current ambient temperature minus ten Celsius. Target
temperature minus a hundred and ninety three Celsius. Cabinet
ACE: There's something I've never told anyone. Do
you promise not to laugh, and not to tell no one?
MEL: Of course.
ACE: It's my name. It's not really Ace. My real name's Dorothy. That's
how I knew they couldn't be my real mum and dad. My real mum and dad
would never have given me a naff name like Dorothy. Come on.
COMPUTER: Minus one hundred and fifty. Minus one hundred and sixty.
Minus one hundred and seventy.
(He starts moving controls on the wall panel.)
COMPUTER: Cabinet temperature rising. Minus one hundred and sixty.
MEL: Down there?
ACE: I suppose so.
(The Doctor and Glitz slither round the corner behind them.)
DOCTOR: Ah, Mel, you've brought my umbrella.
MEL: Oh, Doctor!
ACE: Professor! Bilge bag.
GLITZ: What's that?
DOCTOR: Now, now, stop this squabbling. There's no place for animosity
on a serious scientific undertaking.
MEL: Do you mean the dragon?
DOCTOR: Well, it's not so much a dragon as more of a semi-organic
vertebrate with a highly developed cerebral cortex.
ACE: And it's got laser beams in its eyes. It tried to kill us.
DOCTOR: Really? Well, I wonder what you did to annoy it?
ACE: It just came at us, Professor. No warning.
DOCTOR: Really. Well, let's see what this vertebrate with laser beams
has got to say for itself.
(A zombie steps out in front of them.)
DOCTOR: Hello. Where might you have popped up from, then?
MEL: He's been sent by Kane, Doctor.
ACE: He's got masses of them frozen in his deep freeze.
DOCTOR: Cryogenesis, eh?
GLITZ: Hang about. I'd recognise that mutinous expression anywhere.
ACE: Friend of yours, is he?
GLITZ: Pudovkin, old son, you've no idea how pleased I am to see you
DOCTOR: It's no good, Glitz. Ace says he's been cryogenically frozen.
GLITZ: What about the time we captured that space freighter loaded up
with all that natural fruit alcohol. We got well dehydrated that night,
DOCTOR: It's no use. Deep cryogenics freezes the neural pathways.
GLITZ: Oh, come on, old son. A joke's a joke. It's me, Sabalom Glitz.
DOCTOR: It's completely impossible for him to recall any events prior
PUDOVKIN: I remember.
DOCTOR: Except in cases of overwhelming hatred or anger.
PUDOVKIN: I remember how you always had the best of our pickings.
GLITZ: I don't recall.
PUDOVKIN: I remember. I remember how you sold our entire crew to Kane
to be frozen as mercenaries.
(The dragon appears behind our heroes.)
GLITZ: Oh now, come on, old son, don't go jumping to conclusions.
ACE: I thought he was a friend of yours.
(Pudovkin raises his gun.)
GLITZ: More of an acquaintance, actually.
(The dragon shoots Pudovkin. The Doctor raises his hat to it.)
DOCTOR: We don't mean you any harm. Do you understand?
MEL: It's friendly.
(The dragon gestures and walks to the ice flower decorated entrance.)
ACE: It wants us to go with it, Professor.
DOCTOR: Well, let's see what our new friend wants to show us, shall we?
(The statue of Xana is melting.)
COMPUTER: Warning, defrost threshold crossed. Cabinet temperature
rising. Plus one Celsius. Plus two Celsius. Plus three Celsius.
(Kane's cabinet opens.)
COMPUTER: Plus four Celsius.
KANE: What's happening? Can't breathe. Too warm. Kracauer, what is
(Then Kane sees the statue.)
KANE: No, not my statue. No! Who has desecrated the monument? Who?
(Kane takes Kracauer's face in his bare hands and kills him.)
(Kane resets the temperature controls.)
COMPUTER: Target temperature minus a hundred and ninety three Celsius.
Temperature dropping to zero Celsius. Minus ten Celsius. Minus twenty
MEL: This is beautiful, Doctor.
ACE: Here, I can hear singing. Where's it coming from, Professor?
DOCTOR: I think he wants us to watch.
ACE: What's he doing, Professor.
(The dragon fires short burst of laser energy at a crystal.)
DOCTOR: Ah, so that's what this is all about, a polydimensional
scanning imager. And I bet the creature's using itself as the energy
(A hologram appears of a lady. Everyone say Hi! to Daphne Oxenford, the
voice of Listen with Mother when I was a child.)
ARCHIVIST: Planetary archives, criminal history segment ninety three
twelve oh three. Two of the most vicious examples of the criminal
mentality have been the leaders of the notorious Kane-Xana gang. Until
its demise, this gang carried out systematic violence and extortion
unequalled in its brutality. In view of the sheer evil of his crimes,
Kane is to be exiled from the planet Proamon and never allowed to
return home. He will be banished to the barren planet of Svartos, which
has a permanently frozen dark side on which he can survive.
(Kane enters, hands behind his back.)
KANE: Ah, my dear Belazs. You know, I've been thinking. I've been
thinking of your request to leave. You've been with me a long time now.
I've grown very fond of you, but I've been thinking it over carefully
and I've decided. You may leave me.
KANE: Whenever you wish. Go in fortune and happiness.
(Kane grabs her face in his hands.)
KANE: You traitor. I've been planning my revenge for three thousand
years. How can you stand in my way now I am so close?
ARCHIVIST: Kane's partner, the woman Xana, killed
herself during the final siege of the gang's headquarters to avoid
being arrested and tried for her crimes.
(The hologram fades away.)
MEL: Well, that explains about Kane, but where does the creature come
GLITZ: And what about the fabulous treasure? Is this it?
DOCTOR: Oh, no, no. We might be deep beneath Iceworld, but Kane could
find his way here easily enough. No, the treasure's got to be somewhere
else, somewhere beyond Kane's reach. What does he fear most?
ACE: Heat. It'll kill him.
DOCTOR: Precisely. And what better way of protecting the real treasure
than to leave a fire-breathing dragon to guard it? What better
protection than if the dragon is the treasure.
MEL: The creature, the treasure?
DOCTOR: Am I right? Are you the one that everyone's looking for,
(The top of the dragon's head opens, and crystal rises up, sparking
GLITZ: It must be worth a fortune.
DOCTOR: No, look past the gold and the gemstone, Glitz. Look at the
fire inside. A source of intense optical energy.
DOCTOR [OC]: Look at it through Kane's eyes. See
it as an evil mind would see it.
KANE: At last. After three thousand years, the Dragonfire shall be
(The communicator beeps.)
BAZIN: Duty guard.
KANE [OC]: We have an incident in the lower sectors, quadrant six. An
KANE: It is marked with a radio tracking device. I
want the creature eliminated. Bring me back its head.
GLITZ: I'm beginning to feel a rather cosy warm
sensation in my money pouch.
ACE: Lay one finger on the dragon, bilge bag, and I'll rivet your
MEL: We've got to stop Kane from finding the creature.
(The dragon puts the crystal away and closes up its 'skull'.)
DOCTOR: There's something not right. Can't put my finger. Proamon.
MEL: Well, the hologram said that Proamon was Kane's home planet.
DOCTOR: Yes, but where have I heard of it before? I mean, where was it?
Was it in the past or is it in the future?
GLITZ: Is any of this important, Doctor?
DOCTOR: Is a grain of sand important, Glitz? I must go back and consult
my star charts on the Tardis.
ACE: Your spacecraft? Brill!
MEL: But there isn't time, Doctor.
GLITZ: No need to perambulate back to Iceworld, Doctor. These passages
have their own star charts. The Ice Garden. I found it, remember?
DOCTOR: A primitive star chart. Missing constellations, orbital
calculations, I imagine. Ah yes, I would like to see this.
ACE: Ice garden?
DOCTOR: Er, you stay here. I shan't be long.
GLITZ: The Doctor's right. You two stay here until the Doctor and I get
ACE: Bilge bag.
DOCTOR: Now, now, now, now, now. You stay here with them. They can look
after you so you don't get into any trouble, Glitz.
GLITZ: Do what? Behave, Doctor.
DOCTOR: Don't argue! The three of you are safer together.
(The Doctor and the dragon leave.)
MCLUHAN: How many ant hunts you been on?
BAZIN: Ant hunts?
MCLUHAN: A N T. Aggressive non-terrestrial. Have you ever seen one?
BAZIN: Not as such.
MCLUHAN: Ah, thought not.
BAZIN: But it's standard procedure.
MCLUHAN: And what do you think a standard non-terrestrial looks like?
MCLUHAN: Try thinking of a scorpion, two metres tall, coming at you out
of the shadows. Right, now do me a favour and leave your water pistol
at home. If I'm relying on you to cover my back I want to know that you
are carrying enough artillery to blow this ant clean across the space
(McLuhan exchanges Bazin's hand weapon for a massive bazooka sized
MEL: We could always pass the time by playing a
game, I suppose. I spy, or something.
(Ace gives Mel a withering Look.)
(McLuhan and Bazin lock and load.)
BAZIN: Two metres tall?
MCLUHAN: Minimum. Let's go.
(The Doctor consults the map.)
DOCTOR: They always mark north and south on these things, never
backwards and forwards.
(The dragon gestures.)
DOCTOR: Tell you what, you seem to know where you're going. Why don't I
just trust to your sense of direction?
(The Doctor gives the dragon the map.)
(The mercenaries have been defrosted.)
KANE: The time is at hand. In a few hours, when the Dragonfire is mine,
we shall be able to leave this wretched planet. I want you to spread
terror throughout the upper levels and drive everyone towards the
Nosferatu. I want no one left in Iceworld.
(McLuhan and Bazin enter through the bulkhead
MCLUHAN: Here, take this. It's a radio tracking device. Fix it on the
front of your gun where you can see it. If this ant so much as
twitches, I want to know.
(No visible stalactites, more floral formations.
The middle of the wall has a twinkling star chart on it.)
DOCTOR: Silver bells and cockle shells, and ice gardens all in a row.
Extraordinary. This must be a solar system. There's a large red star
with small orbiting planets. Constellations, yes, but that one's too
high up. They're all slightly out of position. This star chart's no use
any more. How long have you been on this planet? Two thousand years?
ACE: This is naff. This is mega-naff. And what's
more, I'm out of Nitro. But I've got tons more back in my quarters.
MEL: Well, let's go back and get some.
GLITZ: No, thank you. We'll steer clear of the home made stuff, I
think. There's six hundred kilos of commercial back on board the
Nosferatu. I'll go and fetch some of that.
GLITZ: You two stay here.
GLITZ: Just for one, bog, do as I say, and stay here. Don't go
MEL: Why do we always get left out?
GLITZ: I'll be back as soon as I can.
ACE: I spy with my little eye something beginning with I.
ACE: Your go.
(Left alone, the little girl goes underneath a
table to play with her teddy bear. The zombie mercenaries burst in and
shoot Anderson the manager first, then some of the customers before
herding the rest out. They don't spot the little girl.)
(The dragon leaves.)
DOCTOR: Oh, you want to be leaving.
BAZIN: Got it.
BAZIN: Straight ahead. No, it's to the right.
BAZIN: Five metres.
(They take cover.)
(The dragon comes out.)
(The dragon uses its lasers to cover the Doctor's escape.)
MCLUHAN: Where is it?
BAZIN: Heading away.
MCLUHAN: Come on.
(She leads him after the dragon.)
(Kane gets into his cabinet.)
COMPUTER: Current ambient temperature minus ten Celsius. Target
temperature minus a hundred and ninety three Celsius.
(The little girl finishes an abandoned milk shake and walks out of the
ACE: I spy with my little eye something beginning
(The Doctor enters.)
ACE: That doesn't begin with M.
DOCTOR: Where's Glitz?
MEL: He's gone back to his spacecraft.
DOCTOR: We've got to hurry. We might be able to stop Kane and save the
(On a catwalk.)
MCLUHAN: We're too close to the upper levels.
BAZIN: It's here.
BAZIN: I don't know. It's everywhere. It's coming towards us.
MCLUHAN: There's nothing there.
BAZIN: It's still approaching. It's all around us!
BAZIN: It's down there!
(No, it's the little girl hiding under the steps.)
MCLUHAN: Stop, hold your fire. All right, come out.
BAZIN: It's a girl. How come the tracker's picking her up.
(The dragon approaches from behind. Bazin is wounded.)
MCLUHAN: Come on!
(McLuhan helps Bazin away while the little girl smiles at the dragon.)
(Where they join the catwalks.)
DOCTOR: Back to the Tardis.
MEL: But what about the creature? We've got to save it.
DOCTOR: The creature will always be under threat from Kane, unless we
can convince him that his star charts are hopelessly wrong. Then we
might be able to put an end to all this.
ACE: This isn't another wind up, is it? I mean, I really am going to
see your spacecraft, aren't I?
(The dragon carries the little girl in and puts
(The Doctor starts to climb Ace's metal ladder by the cliff.)
[Lower docking bay]
(Panicking people run screaming into the Nosferatu
while little Stellar finds the empty Refrigeration room and sits on a
chair with her teddy. Glitz arrives as the bay doors close.)
COMPUTER: Stand clear of the doors, please.
GLITZ: What's going on?
COMPUTER: Undocking sequence in progress.
GLITZ: Open up!
COMPUTER: Locking arms disengaged.
GLITZ: You can't go without me!
COMPUTER: Spacecraft ready to clear Iceworld. Safe journey and good
GLITZ: You can't leave me, not after all these years. Come back!
(In his room, Kane watches the Nosferatu power away, then presses a
button on his console. KaBOOM!)
DOCTOR: Where is everyone? Must be half day
closing. I don't think we've got much time.
ACE: What are we doing here? I thought we were going to see your
MEL: This is our spacecraft.
ACE: I'm not stupid.
MEL: Just come on.
ACE [OC]: Squeeze up, then.
(Mel and Ace enter.)
ACE: Hang about.
(The Doctor gets the star chart up on the scanner.)
DOCTOR: That's it, Proamon.
ACE: Here, how'd you do that, then?
MEL: Well, it's bigger on the inside than the outside.
DOCTOR: There is no planet Proamon.
MEL: It's transcendentally dimensional.
ACE: Don't come all clever dick with me. What's going on?
MEL: It's difficult to explain.
DOCTOR: Quiet! There are things to be done.
(The Doctor walks out then back in again for his hat and umbrella,
bumping into Mel.)
MEL: Oh, Doctor!
DOCTOR: Come on.
BAZIN: Leave me. I'll hide. Come back for me.
MCLUHAN: Come on. Just down here, come on. You can do it. That's it.
ACE: Here, this is a shortcut to my quarters.
DOCTOR: Later, Ace. We're in a hurry.
ACE: No, it's all right. You go on ahead. It's just I don't feel
properly dressed without a couple of cans of Nitro. I'll catch you up.
DOCTOR: Come on, Mel. We're wasting valuable time.
MEL: If we miss you, we'll meet you in your quarters.
GLITZ: Sprog? Doctor? Mel?
WOMAN: Ah, you there. Have you seen a small child called Stellar
anywhere? I appear to have mislaid her. Evidently not. Well, if you do
find her, would you be so good as to let me know?
(The dragon approaches McLuhan and Bazin.)
(The dragon falls.
Ace is about to get some more cans of Nitro when she realises Kane is
standing behind her.)
MCLUHAN: Right, just the head, and its finished.
(She starts using a laser cutter.)
BAZIN: Can't we just leave the head?
MCLUHAN: Mister Kane wants the head, and I never leave a job half done.
(They lift the head off the corpse and put it down. It opens and the
crystal comes out.)
BAZIN: The dragon's treasure.
(Energy bolts zap them both.)
GLITZ: Ace? Ace?
(The Doctor and Mel arrive at the scene of
MEL: The creature, it's dead! They've killed it.
DOCTOR: Yes, and it had a final surprise for anyone who wanted to try
and interfere with it. A huge energy surge when its head was
MEL: What shall we do with it now?
DOCTOR: We'll finish its job for it, and put an end to all this death
(The Doctor pulls out the crystal and Mel takes it in her hands.)
GLITZ: Hey, you nicked it.
MEL: Where's Ace?
GLITZ: I don't know.
DOCTOR: This is not good enough.
GLITZ: Well, she wasn't with me.
MEL: Come on, we've got to find her.
GLITZ: You lost her.
(Kane has Ace in a painful arm lock.)
KANE: Doctor? Glitz?
KANE [OC]: I know you can hear me. I'd like to
propose a transaction. My very final transaction before I leave
KANE: The Dragonfire for the girl. Bring me the
Dragonfire and you can
KANE [OC]: Have the girl. Special closing down
sale, you might call it.
KANE: But hurry, while stocks last.
GLITZ: I think he means it, Doctor.
DOCTOR: No doubt.
MEL: But we can't give him the treasure.
DOCTOR: We've no choice. The creature's already dead. Ace is still
(Stellar puts her teddy in Kane's cabinet, and
covers his legs with a handkerchief.)
COMPUTER: Current ambient temperature minus ten Celsius. Target
temperature minus a hundred and ninety three Celsius.
STELLAR: Goodnight, teddy.
(The Doctor, Glitz and Mel enter.)
KANE: At last, after three thousand years. Bring it here.
DOCTOR: Three thousand years, eh? Long enough for an entire
civilisation to have come and gone.
KANE: Are you some kind of idiot?
DOCTOR: You know, for someone who's had the patience to wait around for
three thousand years, you seem to be in rather a hurry suddenly.
GLITZ: What's all this three thousand years?
DOCTOR: Three thousand years since you were exiled here from Proamon,
along with the creature.
KANE: Who are you?
DOCTOR: Just a traveller.
KANE: What do you know about Proamon?
MEL: We all know. The creature showed us on the hologram.
KANE: Oh, the archives. I should have destroyed them.
DOCTOR: No, no, no, you should keep them for souvenir value, along with
the Ice Garden.
GLITZ: Why was the creature doing time as well?
KANE: The biomechanoid was my jailor. Look around you. The controls
laying dead, waiting for an energy source. The Dragonfire is that
DOCTOR: And without it you are powerless.
KANE: They thought they could imprison me on this wretched planet by
implanting the power source inside the creature. They shall learn of
DOCTOR: And the living creature was created to keep you prisoner.
KANE: There were times when I ached for death. I considered journeying
round from the cold dark side of Svartos to the sun blistered surface
on the other side, where I would quickly die. Now, with the Dragonfire,
I have the power to return to Proamon and exact my revenge. You, girl.
Bring me the Dragonfire.
MEL: No. I'm not going to lift a finger to help you.
ACE: Melanie? Don't listen to her. She doesn't mean it. Doughnut, give
him the treasure. I'm sixteen, I'm too young to be freeze dried.
GLITZ: Come on, Mel. This is no time to be fastidious.
DOCTOR: Look, let me explain.
(Kane lets go of Ace's arms to reveal he is not wearing gloves. He
holds his hands by her face.)
KANE: You're wasting my time. The Dragonfire is mine now. You can
either give it to me alive or I shall take it from your dead bodies.
DOCTOR: The logic is inescapable.
KANE: Place it in the circuit.
(Mel puts the crystal on top of the console. The energy plays over it
as Ace rushes to her companions and Kane works the controls. Wall
panels come to life as the energy grows and a section comes down from
the ceiling above the crystal.)
MEL: Doctor, what's happening?
DOCTOR: It sounds like a starflight drive.
GLITZ: Starflight drive? It can't be.
(Iceworld takes off from Svartos.)
GLITZ: This is a spacecraft. The whole colony's a spacecraft!
KANE: My hour of vengeance.
DOCTOR: Vengeance on whom, Kane? You're too late.
MEL: All your mercenaries are dead.
KANE: I can soon find more.
DOCTOR: But where will you find another home planet?
KANE: You're talking in riddles, Doctor. Proamon is my home planet.
DOCTOR: Was your home planet. Take a look at your navigational
equipment. It's fully operative now.
KANE: There must be something wrong.
DOCTOR: Sadly not. Your planet, your people, your entire race were
destroyed one thousand years after you were exiled.
KANE: No. No, it's not possible.
DOCTOR: Look at the sun of Proamon. When you left, it was a cold red
giant surrounded by freezing planets.
KANE: There's nothing there but a neutron star.
DOCTOR: Your sun turned supernova two thousand years ago, and all its
planets were engulfed in the explosion. Your people were annihilated,
your planet obliterated. You're too late, Kane, for your revenge. You
have no home. Time has flowed by.
KANE: No. No! It shall not be!
(Kane opens a shutter to the outside.)
COMPUTER: Danger, unfiltered sunlight.
GLITZ: What's he doing? It's scorching.
(Kane walks up to the porthole and promptly melts, screaming.)
GLITZ [OC]: Good afternoon, shoppers. This is the
new management speaking, Captain Glitz. It's time for a few changes.
MEL: Well, I suppose it's time.
DOCTOR: Time? Funny old business, time. It delights in frustrating your
plans. All Kane's perfidious aims thwarted by a quirk of time.
MEL: No, I meant I suppose it's time I should be going.
MEL: Time that I left.
DOCTOR: Yes, well, you could be right. Time for you to go.
(The Doctor becomes very interested in the console.)
MEL: Before I go, I
DOCTOR: Well, it is time.
DOCTOR: You must go.
MEL: Before I go I'd like to say
DOCTOR: There's no point, Mel. No point hanging around wasting time.
MEL: No, I'm not going until I've said my piece. I just want to say
DOCTOR: There's no time, Mel.
MEL: Oh, all right, you win.
DOCTOR: I do. I usually do.
MEL: I'm going now.
DOCTOR: That's right, yes, you're going. Been gone for ages. Already
gone, still here, just arrived, haven't even met you yet. It all
depends on who you are and how you look at it. Strange business, time.
MEL: Goodbye, Doctor.
DOCTOR: I'm sorry, Mel. Think about me when you're living your life one
day after another, all in a neat pattern. Think about the homeless
traveller and his old police box, with his days like crazy paving.
MEL: Who said anything about home? I've got much more crazy things to
(They hug. Glitz enters with Ace.)
GLITZ: Well, we've officially renamed my new spacecraft the Nosferatu
Two, just cracked a bottle of ye old carbonated fruit alcohol over the
bows and next stop sunny Perivale, eh, sprog?
ACE: Suppose so.
MEL: Have you got room for another one?
GLITZ: Are you Perivale bound as well?
MEL: Well, I was thinking of going a bit further.
GLITZ: How much further?
MEL: How much further are you going?
GLITZ: Hang on half a millisecond.
DOCTOR: Excellent. Yes, Mel can keep you out of trouble, Glitz.
MEL: And that means no more dodgy deals.
GLITZ: Thanks a billion, Doctor.
MEL: Ace doesn't have anywhere to go.
DOCTOR: Nonsense. An idyllic place, Perivale. It's got lush green
fields and a village blacksmith, and
MEL: Doctor, she comes from the twentieth century.
GLITZ: Come on, Mel. Extract your digit.
MEL: I'll send you a postcard.
DOCTOR: But I don't have an address.
MEL: Oh, I'll put it in a bottle and throw it into space. It'll reach
you, in time.
(Glitz and Mel leave.)
DOCTOR: Ace, where do you think you're going?
DOCTOR: Ah yes, but by which route? The direct route with Glitz, or the
scenic route? Well? Do you fancy a quick trip round the twelve galaxies
and then back to Perivale in time for tea?
DOCTOR: But there are three rules. One, I'm in charge.
ACE: Whatever you say, Professor.
DOCTOR: Two, I'm not the Professor, I'm the Doctor.
ACE: Whatever you want.
DOCTOR: And the third. Well, I'll think up the third by the time we get
back to Perivale.
(Little Stellar reaches for the Tardis door
WOMAN: There you are. I've been looking all over for you. Now come on.
(Her mother leaves, and the Tardis dematerialises.)