Bad Wolf

Original Airdate: 11 Jun, 2005

[Big Brother House]

(100 years later than The Long Game. Transcriber's note - never seen the BB show, never want to, and I am proud of that!)
DOCTOR: What is it? What's happening?
(The Doctor falls out of a small spinning cupboard.)
LYNDA: Oh, my God! I don't believe it! Why'd they put you in there? They never said you were coming.
DOCTOR: What happened? I was.
LYNDA: Careful now. Oh! Oh, mind yourself! Oh, that's the transmat. It scrambles your head. I was sick for days. All right? So, what's your name then, sweetheart?
(The Doctor is very unsteady.)
DOCTOR: The Doctor, I think. I was, er. I don't know, what happened? How
LYNDA: You got chosen.
DOCTOR: Chosen for what?
LYNDA: You're a housemate. You're in the house. Isn't that brilliant?!
(Over by a pink screen with a stylised eye on it, a young man in a t-shirt is not amused.)
STROOD: That's not fair. We've got eviction in five minutes! I've been here for all nine weeks, I've followed the rules, I haven't had a single warning, and then he comes swanning in.
(The dark-skinned young lady in the pink shirt joins in.)
CROSBIE: If they keep changing the rules, I'm going to protest, I am. You watch me, I'm going to paint the walls.
DAVINA [OC]: Would the Doctor please come to the Diary Room?

[Diary room]

(The Doctor goes through a door with the stylised eye on it and sits in a comfy chair.)
DAVINA [OC]: You are live on channel forty four thousand. Please do not swear.
DOCTOR: You have got to be kidding.

[The Weakest Link]

(Rose wakes up on a studio floor. A dark-skinned man is bending over her.)
ROSE: What happened?
RODRICK: It's all right. It's the transmat. Does your head in. Get a bit of amnesia. What's your name?
ROSE: Rose. But where's the Doctor?
RODRICK: Just remember do what the android says. Don't provoke it. The android's word is law.
ROSE: What do you mean, android? Like a robot?
(A woman calls out instructions.)
FLOOR MANAGER [OC]: Positions, everyone! Thank you!
RODRICK: Come on, hurry up. Steady, steady.
(Rodrick helps Rose up. She is wobbly on her feet, too.)
ROSE: I was travelling, with the Doctor and a man called Captain Jack. The Doctor wouldn't just leave me.
FLOOR MANAGER [OC]: That's enough chat. Positions! Final call! Good luck!
ROSE: But I'm not supposed to be here.
RODERICK: It says Rose on the podium. Come on.
(Rose takes her place next to Rodrick.)
ROSE: Hold on, I must be going mad. It can't be. This looks like the
FLOOR MANAGER: Android activated!
ROSE: Oh, my God, the android. The Anne droid.
ANNE DROID: Welcome to The Weakest Link!

[What Not To Wear]

TRINE-E: Here we go again. We've got our work cut out for us.
ZU-ZANA: I don't know. He's sort of handsome. Has a good lantern jaw.
TRINE-E: Lantern jaws are so last year.
(Another pair of droids - one tall and thin, one short and curvy - have Jack lying on an examination couch. There is a rack of clothes nearby.)
JACK: Sorry, but, nice to meet you, ladies, but where exactly am I?
TRINE-E: We're giving you a brand new image.
JACK: Oh, hold on, I was with the Doctor. Why, is there something wrong with what I'm wearing?
ZU-ZANA: It's all very twentieth century. Where did you get that denim?
JACK: A little place in Cardiff. It was called the Top Shop.
ZU-ZANA: Ah! Design classic.
TRINE-E: But we're going to have to find you some new colours. Maybe get rid of that Oklahoma Farm Boy thing you've got going on.
ZU-ZANA: Just stand still and let the Defabricator work its magic.
JACK: What's a defabricator?
(It's a beam that disintegrates all, yes all, your clothes.)
JACK: Okay. Defabricator. Does exactly what it says on the tin. Am I naked in front of millions of viewers?
(Thank goodness for the strategically placed Defabricator.)
TRINE-E + ZU-ZANA: Absolutely!
JACK: Ladies, your viewing figures just went up.

[Big Brother House]

(The Doctor is checking his surroundings with the sonic screwdriver.)
DOCTOR: I can't open it.
LYNDA: It's got a deadlock seal, ever since Big Brother five hundred and four when they all walked out. You must remember that.
DOCTOR: What about this?
(An alcove with a picture in it.)
LYNDA: Oh, that's exoglass. You'd need a nuclear bomb to get through.
DOCTOR: Don't tempt me.
LYNDA: I know you're not supposed to talk about the outside world, but you must've been watching. Do people like me? Lynda. Lynda with a Y, not Linda with an I. She got forcibly evicted because she damaged the camera. Am I popular?
DOCTOR: I don't remember.
LYNDA: Oh, but does that mean I'm nothing? Some people get this far just because they're insignificant. Doesn't anybody notice me?
DOCTOR: No, you're, you're nice. You're sweet. Everybody thinks you're sweet.
LYNDA: Oh, is that right? Is that what I am? Oh, no one's ever told me that before. Am I sweet? Really?
DOCTOR: Yeah. Dead sweet.
LYNDA: Thank you.
DOCTOR: It's a wall. Isn't there supposed to be a garden out there or something?
LYNDA: Don't be daft. No one's got a garden anymore. Who's got a garden? Don't tell me you've got a garden.
DOCTOR: No, I've just got the Tardis. I remember.
LYNDA: That's the amnesia! So what happened? Where did they get you?
DOCTOR: We'd just left Raxacoriofallapatorius. Then we went to Kyoto. That's right, Japan in 1336, and we only just escaped.

[Tardis]

DOCTOR [OC]: We were together, we were laughing, and then there was this light. This white light coming through the walls, and then.

[Big Brother House]

DOCTOR: And then I woke up here.
LYNDA: Yeah, that's the transmat beam. That's how they pick the housemates.
DOCTOR: Oh, Lynda with a Y. Sweet little Lynda. It's worse than that. I'm not just a passing traveller. No stupid little transmat gets inside my ship. That beam was fifteen million times more powerful, which means this isn't just a game. There's something else going on.
(The Doctor speaks into one of the Eyes on the walls, which are cameras of course.)
DOCTOR: Well, here's the latest update from the Big Brother house. I'm getting out. I'm going to find my friends, and then I'm going to find you.

[Floor 500]

(A man goes over to a woman who is using the same console bank as in Big Game.)
PAVALE: Need a word.
WOMAN: Hold on, let me finish this.
(She has Weakest Link on her monitor.)
WOMAN: Nineteen, eighteen.

[The Weakest Link]

FLOOR MANAGER: Seventeen, sixteen, fifteen. Thank you, people. Transmitting in twelve, eleven, ten
ROSE: But I need to find the Doc
RODRICK: Just shut up and play the game.
FLOOR MANAGER: Seven. six
ROSE: All right, then. What the hell. I'm going to play to win!
FLOOR MANAGER: Three, and cue!
ANNE DROID: Let's play The Weakest Link. Start the clock. Agorax, the name of which basic food stuff is an anagram of the word 'beard'?
AGORAX: (a man) Bread.
ANNE DROID: Correct. Fitch in the Pan Traffic Calendar, which month comes after Hoob?
FITCH: (a woman) Is it Clavadoe?
ANNE DROID: No, Pandoff. Rose, in maths, what is 258 minus 158?
ROSE: One hundred!
ANNE DROID: Correct. Rodrick.
RODRICK: Bank.
ANNE DROID: Which letter of the alphabet appears in the word dangle but not in the word gland?
RODRICK: E.
ANNE DROID: Correct. Colleen, in social security, what D is the name of the payment given to Martian Drones?
COLLEEN: (a woman) Default.
ANNE DROID: Correct. Broff, the Great Cobalt Pyramid is built on the remains of which famous Old Earth Institute?
BROFF: (a man) Er, Touchdown.
ANNE DROID: No, Torchwood. Agorax, in language, all five examples of which type of letter appear in the word facetious?
AGORAX: Vowels.
ANNE DROID: Correct. Fitch, in biology, which blood cells contain iron? Red or white?
FITCH: White.
ANNE DROID: No, red. Rose, in the holovid series 'Jupiter Rising', the Grexnik is married to whom?

[Floor 500]

ROSE [on monitor]: (laughing) How should I know?
ANNE DROID [OC]: No, the correct answer is Lord Drayvole.
WOMAN: Why's she laughing?
ANNE DROID [OC]: Rodrick: in maths, what is nine squared?
WOMAN: Oh, my God, I don't think she knows.
PAVALE: And I've got a housemate who appeared out of nowhere. I told you, it's like the game's running itself.

[What Not To Wear]

(Jack is posing.)
TRINE- E: It's the buccaneer look. Little dash of pirate and just a tweak of President Schwarzenegger.
JACK: Er, not sure about the vest. What about a little bit of colour to lift it?
ZU-ZANA: Absolutely not. Never wear black with colour. It makes the colour look cheap and the black look boring. Now, let's talk jackets.
JACK: I kind of like the first one.
ZU-ZANA: No, that's a bit too much Hell's Angel. I think I like the shorter one. Look, waist length, nice and slimming, shows off the bum.
JACK: Works for me.
TRINE-E: Once we've got an outfit, we can look at the face. Ever thought about cosmetic surgery?
JACK: I've considered it, yeah. A little lift around the eyes. tighten up the jaw line. what do you think?
TRINE-E: Oh, let's have a bit more ambition. Let's do something cutting edge.
(Trine-E has a chainsaw for a forearm.)

[The Weakest Link]

(The contestants are choosing the weakest link of the round.)
ANNE DROID: So, Rose, what do you actually do?
ROSE: I just travel about a bit. Bit of a tourist, I suppose.
ANNE DROID: Another way of saying unemployed.
ROSE: No.
ANNE DROID: Have you got a job?
ROSE:: Well, not really, no, but
ANNE DROID: Then you are unemployed. And yet, you've still got enough money to buy peroxide. Why Fitch?
ROSE: Er, I think she got a few of the questions wrong, that's all.
ANNE DROID: Oh, you'd know all about that.
ROSE: Well, yeah, but I can't vote for myself, so it had to be Fitch. I'm sorry, that's the game. That's how it works. I had to vote for someone.
(Fitch is in tears.)
FITCH: Let me try again. It was the lights and everything. I couldn't think.
ANNE DROID: In fact, with three answers wrong, Broff was the weakest link in that round, but it's votes that count.
FITCH: I'm sorry. Please. Oh God, help me!
ANNE DROID: Fitch you are the weakest link. Goodbye!
(A barrel comes out of Anne's mouth and a beam disintegrates Fitch.)
FLOOR MANAGER: And we've gone to the adverts. Back in three minutes.
ROSE: What's that? What's just happened?
RODRICK: She was the weakest link, she gets disintegrated. Blasted into atoms.
ROSE: But I voted for her. Oh, my. This is sick. All of you, you're just sick! I'm not playing this.
BROFF: I'm not playing! I can't do it. I'm not. Please, somebody let me out of here.
ANNE DROID: You are the weakest link.
(Broff runs across the studio, and gets zapped by Anne.)
ANNE DROID: Goodbye.
RODRICK: Don't try to escape. It's play or die.

[Big Brother House]

LYNDA: Doctor, they said all the housemates must gather on the sofa. You've got to.
DOCTOR: I'm busy getting out, thanks.
LYNDA: But if you don't obey, then all the housemates get punished.
DOCTOR: Well, maybe I'll be voted out, then.
STROOD: How stupid are you? You've only just joined, you're not eligible.
LYNDA: Don't try anything clever or we all get it in the neck.
DAVINA [OC]: Big Brother House this is, Davina Droid. Crosbie, Lynda and Strood, you have all been nominated for eviction. And the eighth person to be evicted from the Big Brother House is (too long pause) Crosbie!
(The Doctor leans back on the sofa, bored.)
LYNDA: I'm sorry! Oh, I'm sorry! Sorry!
STROOD: Oh, it should've been me. Oh, that's not fair, Crosbie love.
DAVINA [OC]: Crosbie, you have ten seconds to make your farewells, and then we're going to get you.
LYNDA: I won't forget you.
CROSBIE: I'm sorry I stole your soap.
LYNDA: I don't mind, honestly.
STROOD: Thanks for the food. You're a smashing cook. Bless you.
DAVINA [OC]: Crosbie, please leave the Big Brother House.
(A door to a short white corridor opens, with another door at the far end.)
CROSBIE: Bye, then. Bye, Lynda.
LYNDA: Bye.
(Crosbie and Lynda make an arch, and Crosbie walks through.)
LYNDA: I don't believe it. Crosbie.
DOCTOR: It's only a game show. She'll make a fortune on the outside. Sell her story, release a record, fitness video, all of that. she'll be laughing.
LYNDA: What do you mean, on the outside?
STROOD: Here we go.
(Lynda and Strood run back to the sofa to watch Crosbie on the screen.)
DOCTOR: What are they waiting for? Why don't they just let her go?
LYNDA: Stop it, it's not funny.
DAVINA [OC]: Eviction in five, four, three, two, one.
(A beam comes down from the ceiling and hits Crosbie. After a few moments, she vanishes in a puff of smoke.)
DOCTOR: What was that?
STROOD: Disintegrator beam.
LYNDA: She's been evicted. From life.

[Floor 500]

PAVALE: No one programmed the transmat, no one selected the new contestants. It is exactly like those stories.
WOMAN: Oh, don't start that again. I think you need to take a session off.
PAVALE: Well, I would, if you'd take it with me.
WOMAN: And don't start that again either.
PAVALE: But the rumours go back decades, saying that something's been hidden up here. Underneath the transmissions.
WOMAN: But the Controller would know. She watches everything.
PAVALE: Maybe she just can't see it. You've got to allow for human error.
WOMAN: Well, that's your problem, then. (sotto) I don't think she's been human for years.
(A human woman has fibre optic filaments coming out of her head and torso.)
CONTROLLER: Eighteen, nineteen, twenty. Transmit, transmit, transmit.

[Big Brother House]

DOCTOR: Are you insane? You just step right into the disintegrator? Is it that important, getting your face on the telly? Is it worth dying for?
LYNDA: You're talking like we've got a choice!
DOCTOR: But I thought you had to apply.
STROOD: Don't be so stupid. That's how they played it centuries back.
LYNDA: You get chosen whether you like it or not. Everyone on Earth is a potential contestant. The transmat beam picks you out at random. And it's non stop. There are sixty Big Brother houses running all at once.
DOCTOR: How many? Sixty?
STROOD: They've had to cut back. It's not what it was.
DOCTOR: It's a charnel house! What about the winners? What do they get?
LYNDA: They get to live.
DOCTOR: Is that it?
LYNDA: Well, isn't that enough?
DOCTOR: Rose is out there. She got caught in the transmat. She's a contestant. Time I got out. That other contestant, er, Linda with an I. She was forcibly evicted for what?
LYNDA: Damage to property.
DOCTOR: What, like this?
(The Doctor sonic screwdrivers a camera into oblivion.)

[What Not To Wear]

(Jack is in tennis whites.)
JACK: No, I'm just not getting this. It's just too safe. Too decent. And you'd never keep it clean.
ZU-ZANA: Stage two, ready and waiting.
JACK: Bring it on, girls.
(His clothes are disintegrated.)
TRINE-E: And now it's time for the face off!
JACK: What does that mean? Do I get to compete with someone else?
TRINE-E: No. Like I said, face off.
(She starts up her chainsaw.)
ZU-ZANA: I think you'd look good with a dog's head.
(A large pair of scissors start up.)
TRINE-E: Or maybe no head at all. That would be so outrageous.
ZU-ZANA: And we could stitch your legs to the middle of your chest.
TRINE-E: Nothing is too extreme. It's to die for.
JACK: Now, hold on, ladies. I don't want to have to shoot either one of you.
TRINE-E: But you're unarmed!
ZU-ZANA: You're naked!
(Jack produces a small hand weapon from somewhere behind him,)
ZU-ZANA: But. that's a Compact Laser Deluxe!
TRINE-E: Where were you hiding that?
JACK: You really don't want to know.
TRINE-E: Give me that accessory.
(Jack shoots Trine-E's head off, then Zu-Zana's. If only...)

[The Weakest Link]

ANNE DROID: You are the weakest link. Goodbye!
(Colleen is atomised.)
FLOOR MANAGER: Going to the break! Two minutes on the clock. Just a reminder we've got solar flare activity coming up in ten. Thanks, everyone.
ROSE: Colleen was clever. She banked all our money. Why'd you vote for her?
RODRICK: Because I want to keep you in. You're stupid! You don't even know the Princess Vossaheen's surname. When it comes to the final, I want to be up against you, so that you get disintegrated and I get a stack load of credits courtesy of the Bad Wolf Corporation.
ROSE: What do you mean? Who's Bad Wolf?
RODRICK: They're in charge. They run the Game Station.
ROSE: Why are they called Bad Wolf?
RODRICK: I don't know. It's just a name. It's like an Old Earth nursery rhyme sort of thing what does it matter?
ROSE: I keep hearing those words everywhere we go. Bad Wolf.
GWYNETH [memory]: The things you've seen. The darkness. The big bad wolf
VAN STATTEN'S HELICOPTER [memory]: Attention all personnel. Bad Wolf One descending.
DOCTOR [memory]: Blaidd Drwg.
ROSE [memory]: What's it mean?
DOCTOR [memory]: Bad Wolf.
(Bad Wolf graffiti'd on the side of the Tardis, the Face of Boe on the Bad Wolftu channel)
ROSE: Different times. different places, like it's written all over the Universe.
RODRICK: What're you going on about?
ROSE: If the Bad Wolf is in charge of this quiz, then maybe I'm not here by mistake. Someone's been planning this.

[Big Brother House]

DAVINA [OC]: The Doctor, you've broken the House Rules. Big Brother has no choice but to evict you. You have ten seconds to make your farewells, and then we're going to get you!
DOCTOR: That's more like it. Come on, then. Open up!
LYNDA: You're mad! It's like you want to die.
STROOD: I reckon he's a plant. He was only brought in to stir things up.
DAVINA [OC]: The Doctor, please leave the Big Brother house.
(The Doctor runs into the white corridor.)
DOCTOR [on monitor]: Come on then, disintegrate me! Come on, what're you waiting for?
LYNDA: He is, he's mad. He's bonkers.

[Floor 500]

DOCTOR [on monitor]: Disintegrate me. What are you waiting for?
WOMAN: I told you to keep an eye on him, not kill him.
PAVALE: He damaged the property. It's an automatic process.

[Big Brother House]

DAVINA [OC]: Eviction in five, four, three, two, one.
(The machine shuts down.)
DOCTOR [on monitor]: Ah, ha! I knew it! You see, someone brought me into this game. If they'd wanted me dead, they could've transmatted me into a volcano.

[Floor 500]

WOMAN: What did you do?
PAVALE: Nothing!
DOCTOR [on monitor]: They want me alive.
PAVALE: It's like some sort of override.
DOCTOR [on monitor]: Maybe security isn't as tight this end. Are you following this? I'm getting out!

[Big Brother House]

(The Doctor opens the white door. Lynda opens the other door.)
DOCTOR: Come with me.
STROOD: We're not allowed!
DOCTOR: Stay in there, you've got a fifty fifty chance of disintegration. Stay with me, I promise I'll get you out alive. Come on!
LYNDA: No, I can't. I can't.
DOCTOR: Lynda, you're sweet. From what I've seen of your world, do you think anyone votes for sweet?
(The Doctor holds out his hand. Lynda takes it and they run out into -)

[Floor 56]

DOCTOR: Hold on. I've been here before. This is Satellite Five. No guards. That makes a change. You'd think a big business like Satellite Five would be armed to the teeth.
(The Doctor opens another door and they go through.)
LYNDA: No one's called it Satellite Five in ages. It's the Game Station now. Hasn't been Satellite Five in about a hundred years.
DOCTOR: A hundred years exactly. It's the year two zero zero one zero zero. I was here before, Floor one three nine. The Satellite was broadcasting news channels back then. Had a bit of trouble upstairs. Nothing too serious. Easy. Gave them a hand, home in time for tea.
LYNDA: A hundred years ago? What, you were here a hundred years ago?
DOCTOR: Yep!
LYNDA: You're looking good on it.
DOCTOR: I moisturise. Funny sorts of readings. All kinds of energy. The place is humming. It's weird. This goes way beyond normal transmissions. What would they need all that power for?
LYNDA: I don't know. I think we're the first ever contestants to get outside.
DOCTOR: I had two friends travelling with me. They must've got caught in the same transmat. Where would they be?
LYNDA: I don't know. They could've been allocated anywhere. There's a hundred different games.
DOCTOR: Like what?
LYNDA: Well, there's ten floors of Big Brother. There's a different House behind each of those doors. And then beyond that, there's all sorts of shows. It's non stop. There's Call My Bluff, with real guns. Countdown, where you've got thirty seconds to stop the bomb going off. Ground Force, which is a nasty one. You get turned into compost. Er, Wipeout, speaks for itself. Oh, and Stars In Their Eyes. Literally, stars in their eyes. If you don't sing, you get blinded.
DOCTOR: And you watch this stuff?
LYNDA: Everyone does. How come you don't?
DOCTOR: Never paid for my licence.
LYNDA: Oh, my God! You get executed for that.
DOCTOR: Let them try.
LYNDA: You keep saying things that don't make sense. Who are you though, Doctor, really?
DOCTOR: It doesn't matter.
LYNDA: Well, it does to me. I've just put my life in your hands.
DOCTOR: I'm just a traveller, wandering past. Believe it or not, all I'm after is a quiet life.
LYNDA: So, if we get out of here, what're you going to do? Just wander off again?
DOCTOR: Fast as I can.
LYNDA: So, I could come with you?
DOCTOR: Maybe you could.
LYNDA: I wouldn't get in the way.
DOCTOR: I wouldn't mind if you did. Not a bad idea, Lynda with a Y. But first of all, we've got to concentrate on the getting out. And to do that, you've got to know your enemy. Who's controlling it? Who's in charge of the satellite now?
LYNDA: Hold on.
(Lynda spots a light breaker and turns it on. A sign lights up - Bad Wolf Corporation.)
LYNDA: Your lords and masters.

[Floor 500]

(Pavale and his lady colleague are watching the Doctor and Lynda on a monitor.)
PAVALE: Okay, you win. The Controller's got to handle this. Archive makes a record of all transmat activities. Find out how they got on board. Archive Six. Controller, we have a problem.
CONTROLLER: Continue working.
PAVALE: We have a security problem.
CONTROLLER: Continue working.
PAVALE: I'm sorry, but I can't. We have contestants outside of the games, but the alarms haven't gone off.
CONTROLLER: No security. The games continue.
PAVALE: But we can't just let them wander.
CONTROLLER: They are no one. They are no one.
(The woman puts her hand on a door lock and the Controller stiffens in pain.)
WOMAN: I'm sorry. I was just
CONTROLLER: Archive Six is out of bounds.
WOMAN: But I need to check the transmat log.
CONTROLLER: Archive Six is out of bounds. No one may enter Archive Six. Return to work. Return to work. Inform all staff, solar flares in delta point seven. Nineteen, twenty.

[What Not To Wear]

(Jack is taking apart the Defabricator.)
JACK: Compatible systems. Just align the wave signature. Attaboy! Got myself a gun. Well, ladies, the pleasure was all mine. Which is the only thing that matters in the end.

[Floor 299]

(Jack runs out and calls the lift. He checks his wrist computer.)
JACK: Two hearts, that's him. Which floor?
(He gets into the lift.)

[Observation deck]

LYNDA: Blimey! I've never seen it for real before. Not from orbit. Planet Earth.
DOCTOR: What's happened to it?
LYNDA: Well, it's always been like that Ever since I was born. See that there? That's the Great Atlantic Smog Storm. It's been going twenty years. We get newsflashes telling us when it's safe to breath outside.
DOCTOR: So the population just sits there? Half the world's too fat, and half the world's too thin, and you lot just watch telly?
LYNDA: Ten thousand channels, all beaming down from here.
DOCTOR: The Human Race. Brainless sheep being fed on a diet of. Mind you, have they still got that programme where three people have to live with a bear?
LYNDA: Oh, Bear With Me. I love that one!
DOCTOR: And me. The celebrity edition where the bear got in the bath.
LYNDA: Got in the bath!
DOCTOR: But it's all gone wrong. I mean, history's gone wrong again. This should be the Fourth Great and Bountiful Human Empire. I don't understand. Last time I was here I put it right.
LYNDA: No, but that's when it first went wrong. A hundred years ago, like you said. All the news channels, they just shut down overnight.
DOCTOR: But that was me. I did that.
LYNDA: There was nothing left in their place. No information. The whole planet just froze. The government, the economy, they collapsed. That was the start of it. One hundred years of hell.
DOCTOR: Oh, my. I made this world.

[The Weakest Link]

(Agorax screams as he gets disintegrated.)
ANNE DROID: That leaves Rose and Rodrick. You're going head to head. Let's play The Weakest Link.
RODRICK: Right, that's the end of tactical voting. You're on your own now.

[Observation deck]

JACK [OC]: Hey, handsome. Good to see you? Any sign of Rose?
DOCTOR: Can't you track her down?
JACK: She must still be inside the games. All the rooms are shielded.
DOCTOR: If I can just get inside this computer. She's got to be here somewhere.
(The Doctor is working on the console Adam used a century before.)
JACK: Well, you'd better hurry up. These games don't have a happy ending.
DOCTOR: Do you think I don't know that?
(Jack hands over his wrist computer.)
JACK: There you go, patch that in. It's programmed to find her.
DOCTOR: Thanks.
JACK: Hey, there.
LYNDA: Hello.
JACK: Captain Jack Harkness.
LYNDA: Lynda Moss.
JACK: Nice to meet you, Lynda Moss.
DOCTOR: Do you mind flirting outside?
JACK: I was just saying hello!
DOCTOR: For you, that's flirting.
LYNDA: I'm not complaining.
JACK: Muchas gracias.
DOCTOR: It's not compatible. This stupid system doesn't make sense.
(The Doctor gives the computer to Lynda and kicks the console. Jack takes off the front plate.)
DOCTOR: This place should be a basic broadcaster, but the systems are twice as complicated. It's more than just television. This station's transmitting something else.
JACK: Like what?
DOCTOR: I don't know. This whole Bad Wolf thing's tied up with me. Someone's manipulated my entire life. It's some sort of trap and Rose is stuck inside it.

[The Weakest Link]

ANNE DROID: Rose, in geography, the Grand Central Ravine is named after which ancient British city?
ROSE: Is it York?
ANNE DROID: No, the correct answer is Sheffield.

[Observation deck]

DOCTOR: Found her. Floor four oh seven.
LYNDA: Oh, my God, she's with the Anne Droid. You've got to get her out of there.

[The Weakest Link]

ANNE DROID: Rodrick, in literature, the author of Lucky was Jackie who?
RODRICK: Stewart.
ANNE DROID: No, the correct answer is Collins. Rose, the oldest inhabitant of the Isop Galaxy is the Face of what?
ROSE: Boe! The Face of Boe!
ANNE DROID: That is the correct answer.

[Lift]

DOCTOR: Come on, come on.!

[The Weakest Link]

ANNE DROID: Rodrick, in history, who was the President of the Red Velvets?
RODRICK: Hoshbin Frane.
ANNE DROID: That is the correct answer. Rose, in food, the dish Gaffabeque originated on which planet?
ROSE: Er, is it Mars?
ANNIE DROID: No, the correct answer is Lucifer. Rodrick, which measurement of length is said to have been defined by the Emperor Jate as the distance from his nose to his fingertip?
RODRICK: Would that be a goffle?
ANNE DROID: No, the correct answer is a paab. Rose, in fashion, Stella Pok Baint is famous for what?
ROSE: Shoes.
ANNE DROID: No, the correct answer is hats.

[Floor 407]

ANNE DROID [OC]: Rodrick, in physics, who discovered the Fifteen Dash Ten Barric Fields?
DOCTOR: Game Room Six, which one is it??
LYNDA: Over here!
RODRICK [OC]: San Hazeldine.
ANNE DROID [OC]: No. the correct answer is San Chen.
JACK: Stand back, let me blast it open.
DOCTOR: You can't. it's made of Hydra combination.

[The Weakest Link]

(The final question.)
ANNE DROID: Rose, in history, which Icelandic city hosted Murder Spree Twenty?
ROSE: Reykjavik?
ANNE DROID: No, the correct answer is Pola Ventura.
(Rodrick got two right, Rose got one.)
RODRICK: Oh, my God! I've done it! You've lost!

[Floor 407]

(The Doctor is working on the lock to the studio.)
DOCTOR: Come on, come on, come on.

[The Weakest Link]

ROSE: But I'm not meant to be here. I need to find the Doctor, he's got to be here somewhere he's always here! He wouldn't just leave me!
ANNE DROID: Rodrick, you are the strongest link, you will be transported home with one thousand six hundred credits.
RODRICK: Oh, thank you, thank you so much.
ROSE: This game is illegal. I'm telling you to stop!
DOCTOR: Rose! Stop this game!
ANNE DROID: Rose, you leave this life with nothing.
JACK: Stop this game!
DOCTOR: I order you to stop this game!
ANNE DROID: You are the weakest link.
ROSE: Look out for the Anne Droid, it's armed!
(Anne Droid shoots Rose as she runs to the Doctor. There is just a pile of dust left on the floor.)
JACK: What the hell did you do to her?
(Everything else happens in the background as the Doctor kneels over Rose's remains.)
JACK: Back off!
FLOOR MANAGER: I need security and I need it here right now! It's this lot.
JACK: Don't you touch him! Leave him alone!
(A security guard takes the Doctor's arm.)
GUARD: Sir, put down the gun or I'll have to shoot.
JACK: You killed her! Your stupid freaking game show killed her.
GUARD: Sir, I'm arresting you under Private Legislation Sixteen of the Game Station Syndicate.
(The background music drowns out the rest of his words.)

[Prison cell]

GUARD: Can you tell us the purpose of this device, sir? Can you tell us how you got on board?
LYNDA: Just leave him alone.
GUARD: I'm asking him. Sir? Can you tell us who you are?
(The Doctor's mug shots are taken, front and both profiles.)
GUARD: You will be taken from this place to the Lunar Penal Colony, there to be held without trial. You may not appeal against this sentence. Is that understood?
(A second guard unlocks the cage to let his colleague out.)
DOCTOR: Let's do it. (Jack leads the fight out. The two guards are knocked out and Jack reclaims his Defabricator while the Doctor retrieves his sonic screwdriver. Lynda takes the guard's weapons.)

[Floor 500]

PAVALE: Oh, my God. Now we're in trouble.

[Lift]

DOCTOR: Floor 500.

[Floor 500]

(Pavale sounds the alarm.)
PAVALE: Clear the floor. He's on his way up here with a gun!
WOMAN: This is an emergency! You've got to close the lift!
CONTROLLER: All staff are reminded that solar flares commence in delta point two.
PAVALE: Never mind solar flares, he's going to kill you!
(The lift arrives.)
JACK: Okay, move away from the desk! Nobody try anything clever. Everybody clear. Stand to the side and stay there.
DOCTOR: Who's in charge of this place?
CONTROLLER: Nineteen, eighteen.
DOCTOR: This Satellite's more than a Game Station.
CONTROLLER: Seventy nine, eighty.
DOCTOR: Who killed Rose Tyler?
CONTROLLER: All staff are reminded that solar flares
DOCTOR: I want an answer!
CONTROLLER: Occur in delta point one.
PAVALE: She can't reply. Don't shoot!
DOCTOR:: Oh, don't be so thick. Like I was ever going to shoot.
(The Doctor throws his weapon at Pavale.)
DOCTOR: Captain, we've got more guards on the way up. Secure the exits.
JACK: Yes, sir.
DOCTOR: You. What were you saying?
PAVALE: But I've got your gun.
DOCTOR: Okay, so shoot me. Why can't she answer?
PAVALE: She's er. Can I put this down?
DOCTOR: If you want. Just hurry up.
PAVALE: Thanks. Sorry. The Controller is linked to the transmissions. The entire output goes through her brain. You're not a member of staff so she doesn't recognise your existence.
DOCTOR: What's her name?
PAVALE: I don't know. She was installed when she was five years old. That's the only life she's ever known.
JACK: Door's sealed. We should be safe for about ten minutes.
DOCTOR: Keep an eye on them.
PAVALE: But that stuff you were saying about something going on with the Game Station. I think you're right. I've kept a log. Unauthorised transmats, encrypted signals, it's been going on for years.
DOCTOR: Show me.
. (Jack tries to open Archive Six.)
WOMAN: You're not allowed in there. Archive Six is out of bounds.
JACK: Do I look like an out of bounds sort of guy?
(The door opens. Jack goes in and walks up to the Tardis.)

[Tardis]

(Jack operates the console.)
JACK: What the hell?

[Floor 500]

CONTROLLER: Solar flare activity in delta point zero fifteen.
WOMAN: If you're not holding us hostage, then open the door and let us out. The staff are terrified.
DOCTOR: That's the same staff who execute hundreds of contestants every day.
WOMAN: That's not our fault. We're just doing our jobs.
DOCTOR: And with that sentence you just lost the right to even talk to me. Now back off!
(The power drops.)
PAVALE: That's just the solar flares. They interfere with the broadcast signal, so this place automatically powers down. Planet Earth gets a few repeats. It's all quite normal.
CONTROLLER: Doctor.
WOMAN: Doctor?
DOCTOR: Whatever it is, you can wait.
WOMAN: I think she wants you.
CONTROLLER: Doctor? Doctor? Where's the Doctor?
DOCTOR: I'm here.
CONTROLLER: Can't see. I'm blind. So blind. All my life, blind. All I can see is numbers, but I saw you.
DOCTOR: What do you want?
CONTROLLER: Solar flares hiding me. They can't hear me. My masters, they always listen but they can't hear me now the sun, the sun is so bright.
DOCTOR: Who are your masters?
CONTROLLER: They wired my head. The name's forbidden. They control my thoughts. My masters. My masters, I had to be careful. They monitor transmissions but they don't watch the programmes. I could hide you inside the games. Knew that you would find me.
DOCTOR: My friend died inside your games.
CONTROLLER: Doesn't matter.
DOCTOR: Don't you dare tell me that.
CONTROLLER: They've been hiding. My masters hiding in the dark space, watching and shaping the Earth so, so, so many years. Always been there, guiding humanity, hundreds and hundred of years.
DOCTOR: Who are they?
CONTROLLER: They wait and plan and grow in numbers. They're strong now. So strong, my masters.
DOCTOR: Who are they?
CONTROLLER: But speak of you, my masters, they fear the Doctor.
DOCTOR: Tell me, who are they?
(The power comes back on.)
CONTROLLER: Twenty one, twenty two.
DOCTOR: When's the next solar flare?
PAVALE: Two years time.
DOCTOR: Fat lot of good that is.
JACK: Found the Tardis.
DOCTOR: We're not leaving now.
JACK: No, but the Tardis worked it out. You'll want to watch this. Lynda, could you stand over there for me please?
LYNDA: I just want to go home.
JACK: It'll only take a second. Could you stand in that spot, quick as you can. Everybody watching? Okay. three, two, one.
(A beam comes down and Lynda vanishes in a puff of smoke.)
DOCTOR: But you killed her!
JACK: Oh, do you think?
(Another beam brings Lynda back.)
LYNDA: What the hell was that?
JACK: It's a transmat beam. Not a disintegrator, a secondary transmat system. People don't get killed in the games. they get transported across space. Doctor, Rose is still alive!
(Jack and the Doctor hug.)

[Spaceship]

(There is a familiar rhythmic hum going on when Rose wakes up. Something approaches, looking at her through a round lens.)
ROSE: No, it can't be. You're dead. I saw you die!
(A sink plunger blocks her way.)

[Floor 500]

DOCTOR: She's out there somewhere.
CONTROLLER: Doctor. Coordinates five point six point one
DOCTOR: Don't, the solar flare's gone. They'll hear you.
CONTROLLER: Point four three four. No, my masters, no! I defy you! Stigma seven seven
(The Controller disappears in a puff of smoke and a scream.)
DOCTOR: They took her.

[Spaceship]

CONTROLLER: Oh, my masters, you can kill me, for I have brought your destruction.
(So she gets Exterminated with a big smile on her face.)

[Floor 500]

PAVALE: Look, use that. It might contain the final numbers. I kept a log of all the unscheduled transmissions.
JACK: Nice, Thanks. Captain Jack Harkness, by the way.
PAVALE: I'm Davitch Pavale.
JACK: Nice to meet you, Davitch Pavale.
DOCTOR: There's a time and a place.
WOMAN: Are you saying this entire set up's been a disguise all along?
DOCTOR: Going way back. Installing the Jagrafess a hundred years ago. Someone's been playing a long game, controlling the human race from behind the scenes for generations.
JACK: Click on this. The transmat delivers to that point, right on the edge of the solar system.
WOMAN: There's nothing there.
DOCTOR: It looks like nothing because that's what this satellite does. Underneath the transmission there's another signal.
PAVALE: Doing what?
DOCTOR: Hiding whatever's out there. Hiding it from sonar, radar, scanner. There's something sitting right on top of planet Earth, but it's completely invisible. If I cancel the signal
(A large flying saucer appears on a holo-viewscreen. Then we zoom out to reveal a lot, lot more of them.)
JACK: That's impossible. I know those ships. They were destroyed.
DOCTOR: Obviously, they survived.
LYNDA: Who did? Who are they?
DOCTOR: Two hundred ships. More than two thousand on board each one. That's just about half a million of them.
PAVALE: Half a million what?
DOCTOR: Daleks.

[Spaceship]

DALEK 2: Alert. Alert. We are detected.
DALEK: It is the Doctor. He has located us. Open communications channel.
DALEK 2: The female will stand. Stand!
(A holo-viewscreen pops into view with Floor 500 on it.)

[Floor 500]

DALEK [on viewscreen]: I will talk to the Doctor.
DOCTOR: Oh, will you? That's nice. Hello!
DALEK [on viewscreen]: The Dalek stratagem nears completion. The fleet is almost ready. You will not intervene.
DOCTOR: Oh, really? Why's that, then?

[Spaceship]

DALEK: We have your associate.

[Floor 500]

DALEK [on viewscreen]: You will obey or

[Spaceship]

DALEK: She will be exterminated.

[Floor 500]

DOCTOR: No.
(Everyone looks at the Doctor.)
DALEK [on viewscreen]: Explain yourself.
DOCTOR: I said no.
DALEK [on viewscreen]: What is the meaning of this negative?
DOCTOR: It means no.

[Spaceship]

DALEK: But she will be destroyed.
DOCTOR [on viewscreen]: No!

[Floor 500]

DOCTOR: Because this is what I'm going to do. I'm going to rescue her.

[Spaceship]

DOCTOR [on viewscreen]: I'm going to save Rose Tyler from the middle of the Dalek fleet

[Floor 500]

DOCTOR: And then I'm going to save the Earth, and then, just to finish off, I'm going to wipe every last stinking Dalek out of the sky!

[Spaceship]

DALEK: But you have no weapons, no defences, no plan.

[Floor 500]

DOCTOR: Yeah. And doesn't that scare you to death. Rose?

[Spaceship]

ROSE: Yes, Doctor?
DOCTOR [on viewscreen]: I'm coming to get you.
(Transmission ends, courtesy of the sonic screwdriver.)
DALEK: The Doctor is initiating hostile action.
DALEK 2: The stratagem must advance. Begin the invasion of Earth!
DALEK 3: The Doctor will be exterminated!
DALEKS: Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate!

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