Cold War

Original Airdate: 13 Apr, 2013

[Control room]

(Deep below the Northern Polar icepack in 1983, a Russian submarine is navigating by radar.)
VOICE [OC]: Signal is genuine. Signal is genuine. Zero bravo.
(The Captain and his Lieutenant put their keys into the missile firing controls and two launch doors on the deck of the sub open.)
ZHUKOV: Prepare to launch nuclear weapons.
STEPASHIN: Aye, sir.
VOICE [OC]: Moscow confirming launch sequence.
ZHUKOV: The Firebird stands ready to serve.
STEPASHIN: For the Motherland.
ZHUKOV: For the Motherland.
GRISENKO: (singing) This means nothing to me. This means nothing to me.
(An elderly civilian is singing along to music on his Walkman.)
GRISENKO: Oh, Vienna. Have I interrupted something?
ZHUKOV: We were about to blow up the world, Professor.
GRISENKO: Again? Ultravox. I bloody love them. Got a friend who sends me the tapes.
ZHUKOV: This is the Captain. Drill abandoned. All hands, stand down. Repeat, drill abandoned.
STEPASHIN: With respect, sir, we must run it again.
ZHUKOV: Tomorrow.
STEPASHIN: Comrade Captain, the NATO exercises
ZHUKOV: Sabre rattling.
STEPASHIN: I don't think so.
ZHUKOV: Oh, you don't think so?
STEPASHIN: Sir, American aggression gets more intolerable by the day. We must run the drill again.
ZHUKOV: Tomorrow.
(Stepashin leaves.)
ZHUKOV: Did you have your specimen stowed okay?
GRISENKO: Yeah. Piotr's looking after it.
ZHUKOV: Well, at least we have something to show for our little hunting expedition. What is it, a mammoth?
GRISENKO: Probably.

[Storage]

(But in the compartment below them, the dirty ice contains an chunky upright biped, not a hairy quadruped. Piotr holds out a flame to it.)
PIOTR: What are you, milaya moya? Professor wants you thawed out back in Moscow, but life's too short to wait.
(Piotr lights a blowtorch and starts melting the block. The something moves inside, then a big hand bursts out and grabs Piotr's throat.)
PIOTR: Argh! Get away!
(The freed Ice Warrior starts stomping through the submarine. Suddenly, water flood into all compartments.)

[Control room]

STEPASHIN: Alarm! Alarm! Hold the bridge, port side.
ZHUKOV: Evasive manoeuvres!
ONEGIN: Descending to two hundred metres.
VOICE [OC]: We're under attack!
ONEGIN: Two ten!
ZHUKOV: Bring her up! Bring her up!
ONEGIN: It's no good, sir.
(Then the Tardis materialises and the Doctor steps out.)
DOCTOR: Viva Las Vegas!
(The boat shudders and he goes flying across the compartment along with Clara, in an evening dress.)
STEPASHIN: Stranger on the bridge!
ZHUKOV: Who the hell are you?
CLARA: Not Vegas, then.
DOCTOR: No. No, this is much better.
CLARA: A sinking submarine?
DOCTOR: A sinking Soviet submarine!
STEPASHIN: Break out side arms. Restrain them!
ONEGIN: Four ten. Four twenty. Turbines still not responding!
ZHUKOV: They've got to.
(The Doctor has the sonic screwdriver switched on.)
DOCTOR: Ah! Sideways momentum. You've still got sideways momentum!
ZHUKOV: What?
DOCTOR: Your propellers work independently of the main turbines. You can't stop her going down but you can manoeuvre the sub laterally. Do it!
STEPASHIN: Get these people off the bridge now!
CLARA: Just listen to him, for god's sake!
DOCTOR: Geographical anomaly to starboard. Probably an underwater ridge.
ZHUKOV: How do you know this?
DOCTOR: Look, we have just a chance to stop the descent if we settle on it. Do it!
ONEGIN: Six hundred metres. Sir, six ten!
DOCTOR: Or this thing is going to implode.
ZHUKOV: Lateral thrust to starboard, all propellers.
ONEGIN: Sir?
ZHUKOV: Now!
STEPASHIN: You're going to let this madman give the orders?
ZHUKOV: Lateral thrust!
ONEGIN: Aye, sir! Six sixty, six eighty.
(They hit the ridge just in time. Grey Lady Down.)
ONEGIN: Descent arrested at seven hundred metres.
ZHUKOV: It seems we owe you are lives, whoever you are.
DOCTOR: I'll hold you to that. Might come in handy.
STEPASHIN: Search them. Yes, I know. It's a woman. Now search them!
CLARA: Are we going to be okay?
DOCTOR: Oh, yes.
CLARA: Is that a lie?
DOCTOR: Possibly. Very dangerous time, Clara. East and West standing on the brink of nuclear oblivion.
(And the Doctor has a Barbie doll in a pocket. And a ball of string.)
DOCTOR: Lots of itchy fingers on the button.
CLARA: Isn't it always like that?
DOCTOR: Sort of, but there are flash points and this is one. Hair, shoulder pads, nukes. It's the Eighties. Everything's bigger. I would like a receipt, please.
(The sonic screwdriver is handed to Captain Zhukov.)
ZHUKOV: What is this?
(The submarine shakes, and Clara looses her footing.)
DOCTOR: Clara!
CLARA: Doctor!
DOCTOR: Clara!
(The Tardis dematerialises.)
DOCTOR: No! No, no, no, no, no, no. No, not now!
(Clara falls over into the foot of water on the control room floor, and sees the sonic screwdriver there. Then she passes out, and drifts in and out again. Later, someone has put a uniform jacket on Clara. The Doctor is being interrogated.)
DOCTOR [OC]: Captain, we didn't attack of your ship out here. Now we need to get the pumps working to get her afloat.
ZHUKOV [OC]: Yeah, we'll last till the rescue ship comes.
DOCTOR [OC]: If it comes.
ZHUKOV [OC]: Oh, the sinking is just a coincidence, is it? Who are you?
(Clara wakes and stands.)
DOCTOR: All right, Captain, all right. You know what? Just this once, no dissembling, no psychic paper, no pretending to be an Earth Ambassador.
(See The Curse of Peladon, folks.)
DOCTOR: Doctor, me and Clara, time travellers. Clara, you okay?
CLARA: Think so.
ZHUKOV: Time travellers?
DOCTOR: We arrived here out of thin air. You just saw it happen.
GRISENKO: I didn't.
DOCTOR: Your problem, mate, not mine.
CLARA: We were sinking.
DOCTOR: Yes.
CLARA: What happened?
DOCTOR: We sank.
CLARA: No, what happened to the Tardis, I mean.
DOCTOR: Never mind that. Listen. Captain, breath's precious down here. Let's not waste it, eh?
ZHUKOV: You're right. Maybe I can save a little oxygen by having you both shot!
CLARA: What does it matter how we arrived? The important thing is to get
(Something breathes very loudly.)
CLARA: Out.
DOCTOR: Exactly! Number one priority, not suffocating.
(Zhukov spots what everyone else is staring at, too, and releases the Doctor.)
DOCTOR: Eh? Ah. Oh, thank you. Finally seeing sense. Now, what sort of state is the sub in?
(The Ice Warrior is directly behind the Doctor.)
CLARA: Doctor.
DOCTOR: What about the radio? Can we send a
CLARA: Doctor!
DOCTOR: What!
(Hiss.)
DOCTOR: What is that? Gas? Could be gas.
(Then he turns around and looks up at the Warrior.)
DOCTOR: Ah. It never rains but it pours.
GRISENKO: We were drilling for oil in the ice. I thought I'd found a mammoth.
DOCTOR: It's not a mammoth.
GRISENKO: No.
CLARA: What is it, then?
DOCTOR: It's an Ice Warrior. A native of the planet Mars. And we go way back. Way back.
ZHUKOV: A Martian? You can't be serious.
DOCTOR: I'm always serious. With days off.
CLARA: Doctor.
DOCTOR: Just keeping it light, Clara. They're scared.
CLARA: They're scared? I'm scared.
(Stepashin points his pistol at the Ice Warrior, who raises his weapon arm and powers up.)
DOCTOR: No, no, no, no, no, no! Please, please. Wait, just. There is no need for this. Just hear me out. You're confused, disorientated. Of course you are. You've been lying dormant in the ice for, for, for how long? How long, Professor?
GRISENKO: By my reckoning, five thousand years.
DOCTOR: Five thousand years? That's a hell of a nap. Can't blame you if you've got out of the wrong side of bed. Look, nobody here wants to hurt you.
(He pushes Stepashin's gun down.)
DOCTOR: Please, just. Why don't you tell us your name?
ZHUKOV: What are you talking about? It has a name?
DOCTOR: Of course it has a name. And a rank. This is a soldier, and it deserves our respect.
ZHUKOV: This is madness. That is a monster!
SKALDAK: Skaldak.
DOCTOR: What did you say?
SKALDAK: I am Grand Marshal Skaldak.
DOCTOR: Oh, no.
(Then electricity plays over Skaldak's wet armour. He roars before collapsing. Stepashin has used a cattle prod on him from behind.)
DOCTOR: You idiot! You idiot. Grand Marshal Skaldak.
CLARA: You know him.
DOCTOR: Sovereign of the Tharsisian caste. Vanquisher of the Phobos Heresy. The greatest hero the proud Martian race has ever produced.
ZHUKOV: So what do we do now?
DOCTOR: Lock him up.

[Torpedo room]

(Skaldak wakes as he is being chained to the girders holding the torpedoes.)
SKALDAK: Is it true?
ONEGIN: Er, true?
SKALDAK: I slept for five thousand years?
ONEGIN: Er, that's what the professor says.
SKALDAK: Five thousand years.

[Captain's cabin]

DOCTOR: The Ice Warriors have a different creed, Clara. A different code. By his own standards, Skaldak is a hero. It was said his enemies honoured him so much, they'd carve his name into their own flesh before they died.
CLARA: Oh, yeah. Very nice. He sounds lovely.
ZHUKOV: An Ice Warrior? Explain.
DOCTOR: There isn't time.
ZHUKOV: Try me.
DOCTOR: Martian reptile know as the Ice Warrior. When Mars turned cold they had to adapt. They're bio-mechaniod. Cyborgs. Built themselves survival armour so they could exist in the freezing cold of their home world, but a sudden increase in temperature and the armour goes haywire.
CLARA: Like with the cattle prod thing.
DOCTOR: Like with the cattle prod thing. Bit of a design flaw. To be honest, I've always wondered why they never sorted it. Oh look, you've got me telling you about them and I said there wasn't time.
CLARA: Is he that dangerous?
DOCTOR: This one is.

[Torpedo room]

SKALDAK: Find me, my brothers. If you are still out there, find me.
(A beacon flashes inside his armour.)

[Captain's cabin]

(Professor Grisenko puts his headphones back on.)
STEPASHIN: Why are we listening to this nonsense, Captain? These people are clearly enemy agents.
CLARA: Huh?
STEPASHIN: Spies, Captain.
CLARA: Pretty bad spies, mate. I don't even speak Russian.
STEPASHIN: What?
CLARA: I don't. (sotto, to the Doctor) Am I speaking Russian? How come I'm speaking Russian?
DOCTOR: (sotto) Now? We have to do this now?
CLARA: (sotto) Are they speaking Russian?
DOCTOR: (sotto) Seriously? Now? It's the Tardis translation matrix.
STEPASHIN: In my opinion, Comrade Captain, this creature is a Western weapon.
CLARA: (sotto) Are they?
DOCTOR (sotto) Yes, they're Russians.
ZHUKOV: A weapon?
STEPASHIN: Survival suit. What is the alternative? The little green man from Mars?
GRISENKO: Correction. It's a big green man from Mars.
STEPASHIN: I don't appreciate your levity, Professor.
GRISENKO: Why does that not surprise me? Maybe they're telling the truth.
STEPASHIN: The truth?
GRISENKO: Yes, a revolutionary concept, I know.
STEPASHIN: It's essential that we inform Moscow of what we have found.
ZHUKOV: The radio's out of action, in case you hadn't noticed, Stepashin.
STEPASHIN: They have our last position. They will find us. When they do
ZHUKOV: Yes?
STEPASHIN: Well, the Cold War won't stay cold for ever, Captain.
ZHUKOV: For God's sake, Stepashin, you're like a stuck record. We have other priorities right now. I want you back on repairs immediately. We need to keep this ship alive. Dismissed.
STEPASHIN: Sir?
ZHUKOV: Dismissed, Stepashin.
(Stepashin leaves.)
DOCTOR: All we needed to do was let Skaldak go and he'd have forgotten us. But you attacked him. You declared war. Harm one of us and you harm us all. That's the ancient Martian code.
(Beeping from Grisenko's headphones.)
DOCTOR: You hear that? Skaldak has sent out a distress call. He will bring down the fires of hell just for laying a glove on him.
ZHUKOV: Unless you talk to it?
DOCTOR: I'm the only one who can.
ZHUKOV: No. Out of the question. We're not losing you. I'll do it.
DOCTOR: What?
ZHUKOV: You can talk to it through me.
DOCTOR: Skaldak won't talk to you. You're an enemy soldier.
ZHUKOV: And how would he know that?
DOCTOR: A soldier knows another soldier. He'll smell it on you. Smell it on you a mile off.
ZHUKOV: And he wouldn't smell it on you, Doctor?
DOCTOR: Just let me in there before it's too late. It can't be you or any of your men.
ZHUKOV: Well, it can't be you.
CLARA: Ahem. Well, there really is only one choice, isn't there. I don't smell of anything, to my knowledge.
DOCTOR: You? No! No! No way. You're not going in there alone, Clara. Absolutely not. No, no. Never.

[Torpedo room]

(The small circular bulkhead door closes behind Clara. She puts on the radio headset and picks up an inspection light.)

[Captain's cabin]

(She is visible on a small screen.)
DOCTOR: With your permission?
ZHUKOV: Be my guest.
DOCTOR: Ready, Clara?

[Torpedo room]

CLARA: Yeah.
DOCTOR [OC]: Okay.
CLARA: Grand Marshal Skaldak.
[Captain's cabin]

DOCTOR: The salute.

[Torpedo room]

DOCTOR [OC]: Do the salute like I showed you.
(Clenched right fist to left shoulder.)
CLARA: Okay?

[Captain's cabin]

DOCTOR: Good. Good. Now, like we rehearsed. Sovereign of the Tharsisian caste.

[Torpedo room]

CLARA: Sovereign of the Tharsisian caste. By the moons, I honour the.
DOCTOR [OC]: Good. It's okay, Clara. Go closer.
CLARA: Grand Marshal, I'm, we're sorry about this.

[Captain's cabin]

DOCTOR: It's not what you deserve.
CLARA [OC]: It isn't what you deserve.
(The power goes out.)

[Torpedo room]

CLARA: Oh. Oh, great.

[Captain's cabin]

(CCTV and intercom are still working.)
DOCTOR: Hey, it's okay, Clara. Keep going.

[Torpedo room]

(Clara puts down the inspection light and switches on a small torch.)
CLARA: You're a long way from home.

[Captain's cabin]

DOCTOR: Five thousand years.
CLARA [OC]: And five thousand years adrift in time.

[Torpedo room]

CLARA: Please, let us help you. You are not our enemy.
SKALDAK: And yet I am in chains.
CLARA: Doctor, what do I say?
SKALDAK: Yes, Doctor.

[Captain's cabin]

SKALDAK [OC]: What should she say?
GRISENKO: I think he wants to speak to the organ grinder, not to the monkey.

[Torpedo room]

CLARA: I heard that.

[Captain's cabin]

DOCTOR: You are restrained until we can trust each other, Skaldak. You would do exactly the same in my position, and don't even think

[Torpedo room]

DOCTOR [OC]: About using that sonic weapon. Not in the torpedo room.
SKALDAK: I was Fleet Commander of the Nix Tharsis. My daughter stood by me. It was her first taste of action. We sang the songs of the Old Times.

[Captain's cabin]

SKALDAK [OC]: The Songs of the Red Snow.

[Torpedo room]

SKALDAK: Five thousand years. Now my daughter will be dust. Only dust.
(Despite the emotion in the words, Skaldak hasn't even twitched.)
DOCTOR [OC]: No, no, no. Listen, your people live on Skaldak.

[Captain's cabin]

DOCTOR: Scattered all across the universe. And Mars will rise again, I promise you.

[Torpedo room]

DOCTOR [OC]: Just let me help you.
SKALDAK: I require no help.

[Captain's cabin]

SKALDAK [OC]: There will be no help.
DOCTOR: Careful, Clara.
CLARA [on screen]: I'm okay.
DOCTOR: No, listen, Clara, don't get too close.

[Torpedo room]

CLARA: I'm okay. Doctor, something's wrong.

[Captain's cabin]

DOCTOR: What?

[Torpedo room]

CLARA: Something's
(She touches the helmet and it hinges backwards.)
CLARA: It's not there. It's gone!
(The armour opens like a Dalek shell. It is empty.)

[Captain's cabin]

DOCTOR: Gone? Gone? Gone? What do you mean, gone?

[Torpedo room]

CLARA: It's got out.
SKALDAK [OC]: It is time I learned the measure of my enemies.

[Captain's cabin]

SKALDAK [OC]: And what this vessel is capable of.
DOCTOR: No, no, no. Skaldak!

[Torpedo room]

SKALDAK [OC]: Harm one of us and you harm us all. By the Moons, this I swear.

[Captain's cabin]

DOCTOR: Clara, get out of there. Get out!
(Zhukov puts a gun to his head.)
DOCTOR: Now, I've never seen one do this before. Actually, I've never seen one out of its armour before.
(Zhukov lowers his gun.)
GRISENKO: Won't it be more vulnerable out of its shell?
DOCTOR: No, it will be more dangerous.
(He runs out.)

[Outside the torpedo room]

DOCTOR: Clara? Clara?
(Clara runs to the door and starts to open it. Then something whooshes past her and down the passageway.)
DOCTOR: Clara! Clara! Clara! Clara!
(He drags the stunned girl out.)
CLARA: I'm okay. Ha, ha! I'm okay. I'm okay! Where did he go?
(Professor Grisenko picks up an irregular pattern of beeps on his earphones.)
CLARA: How did I do? Was I okay?
DOCTOR: This wasn't a test, Clara.
CLARA: I know, but
DOCTOR: You were great, yeah.
CLARA: Really?
DOCTOR: Really.
GRISENKO: Doctor? The signal. It's stopped.
DOCTOR: Skaldak got no answer from his Martian brothers. Now he's given up hope.
ZHUKOV: Hope of what?
DOCTOR: Being rescued. He thinks he's been abandoned. He's got nothing left to lose.

[Passageway]

(As the ledge below the submarine slowly crumbles under its weight.)
ZHUKOV: But what can he do, stuck down here like the rest of us? How bad can it be?
DOCTOR: This sub's stuffed with nuclear missiles, Zhukov. It's fat with them. What do you think Skaldak's going to do when he finds that out? How bad can it be? How bad can it be? It couldn't be any worse.
(Some tumbling rocks hit the submarine and water pours through a hatch. It gets closed quickly.)
DOCTOR: Okay. Spoke to soon.

[Turbine room]

STEPASHIN: Hello? Who's there? Who's there? Who's there!
(Something is moving behind the pipes. Then a pair of slender, three fingered hands reach out for his head from behind.)
STEPASHIN: What do you want with me?
SKALDAK: Much.

[Control room]

ZHUKOV: Comrades, you know our situation. The reactor is drowned. We are totally reliant on battery power and our air is running out. Rescue is unlikely, but we still have a mission to fulfil. If the Doctor is right, then we are all that stands between this creature and the destruction of the world. Control of one missile is all he needs. We are expendable, comrades. Our world is not. I know I can rely on every one of you to do his duty without fail. That is all.

[Turbine room]

STEPASHIN: Listen to me. We both understand each other. This, this mewling time of peace, it doesn't suit us. We are both warriors, and together we can form an alliance.
SKALDAK: An alliance?
STEPASHIN: Yes. To win the Cold War.
SKALDAK: Cold War?
STEPASHIN: Both sides are capable of completely obliterating the other. It's a state we call mutually assured destruction.
SKALDAK: Mutually assured destruction. But this has not occured.
STEPASHIN: No.
SKALDAK: Not yet.

[Control room]

CLARA: Even if a missile did get launched, that wouldn't be it, would it?
DOCTOR: It?
CLARA: End of the world. Game over. I mean, what if they fired one by accident. What would happen then?
DOCTOR: I told you, Clara. Earth is like a storm waiting to break, right now. Both sides baring their teeth, talking up war. It would only take one tiny spark.
CLARA: Yeah, but the world didn't end in 1983, did it, or I wouldn't be here.
DOCTOR: New. History's in flux. It can be changed. Re-written.
(The crew are all armed with rifles.)
DOCTOR: How many of us are left?
ZHUKOV: Twelve. And we can't find Stepashin.
DOCTOR: We split up and comb this sub. One team stays here to guard the bridge.
ZHUKOV: That's it? That's the plan?
DOCTOR: Well, it's either that or we stay here and wait for him to kill us.
ZHUKOV: Okay.
CLARA: Is it true you've never seen one outside of its shell suit?
DOCTOR: Shell suit? Clara! For an Ice Warrior to leave its armour is the gravest dishonour. Skaldak is desperate. He is deadly and we have got to find him.
GRISENKO: Will this help?
(The sonic screwdriver.)
DOCTOR: Ah! You saved it.
GRISENKO: No, no, it was on the floor with this.
(The Barbie doll. The Doctor kisses it.)
DOCTOR: Ah, Professor, I could kiss you.
GRISENKO: If you insist.
DOCTOR: Later.

[Submarine]

ONEGIN: Do you think it's true, sir? A Martian?
BELEVICH: I don't know what to think.

[Compartment]

CLARA: So, why have you got a cattle prod on a submarine?
GRISENKO: Polar bears.
CLARA: Ah, right.
GRISENKO: We run across them when we're drilling. Can be quite nasty, you know.
CLARA: I'd swap one for an Ice Warrior any day. Cuddlier.
GRISENKO: Courage, my dear. I always sing a song.
CLARA: What?
GRISENKO: To keep my spirits up.
CLARA: Yeah, that would work, if this was Pinocchio.
(The Doctor seems to have set off some alarms.)
GRISENKO: Do you know Hungry Like The Wolf?
CLARA: What?
GRISENKO: Duran Duran. One of my favourites. Come on.
CLARA: I'm not singing a song.
(The Doctor gets a hatch open and puts his head inside. They hear an echoing growl.)
CLARA: What was that?
DOCTOR: Pressure. Just pressure. We're seven hundred metres down, remember?
GRISENKO: Don't worry about it. Think of something else.
(He sings the opening phrase of his song.)
GRISENKO: I am hungry like the wolf.
CLARA: I'm not singing.
GRISENKO: Don't you know it?
CLARA: Course I know it. We do it at karaoke, the odd hen night.
GRISENKO: Karaoke? Hen night? You speak excellent Russian, my dear, but sometimes I don't understand a word you're talking about.

[Submarine]

ONEGIN: If we get out of here, we'll be bloody heroes.
BELEVICH: If we get out of here.
ONEGIN: The first people in the world to discover a genuine, living
BELEVICH: Alien?
(Which reaches down and lifts the hapless helmsman up by his head.)
BELEVICH: I don't know. You hear stories, don't you. Stories about the things the Kremlin doesn't want us to
(Then he realises he is alone.)
BELEVICH: Onegin? Onegin!
(The Doctor, Clara and Grisenko hear the growls and screams, and run towards them. We only see a stiff arm and hand sticking up.)
GRISENKO: Good God. Torn apart. It's a monster, a savage.
DOCTOR: No, Professor. Not savage. Forensic. Well, he's dismantled them. Skaldak's learning. Learning all about you. Your strengths, your weaknesses. Come on.
(They go down a passageway.)
DOCTOR: Stay here.
CLARA: Okay.
DOCTOR: Stay here. Don't argue.
CLARA: I'm not.
DOCTOR: Right. Good.
(He goes up a ladder.)
GRISENKO: Oh, it's a young man's game, all this dashing about. Clara, what is it?
CLARA: I was doing okay. I mean, I went in there and I did the scary stuff, didn't I? I went in there with the Ice Warrior and it went okay. Actually, it went just about as badly as it could have done but that wasn't my fault.
GRISENKO: Not at all.
CLARA: So I'm happy about that.
GRISENKO: Yes.
CLARA: Chuffed.
GRISENKO: And so you should be. So what's the matter?
CLARA: Seeing those bodies back there. It's all got very real. Are we going to make it?
GRISENKO: Yes, of course.
(Elsewhere, there is a growl and something flashes past a grating.)
ZHUKOV: It's in the walls.
(Meanwhile, the Doctor finds a body.)
DOCTOR: Oh, Stepashin.
(The Doctor hears running feet above him.)
DOCTOR: Oh, oh, oh. Fast. He's fast.
(And, with more creaking and growling -)
CLARA: What was that?
GRISENKO: The Doctor told you, it's just the boat settling. Tell me about yourself. What do you like doing? Clara? Clara?
CLARA: Stuff. You know, stuff.
GRISENKO: Stuff. Very enlightening. And the Doctor, what he said. Is it true you're from another time? From our future? Clara?
CLARA: Yes.
GRISENKO: Tell me what happens.
CLARA: I can't.
GRISENKO: Well, I need to know.
CLARA: I'm not allowed.
GRISENKO: No, please.
CLARA: I can't!
GRISENKO: Ultravox, do they split up?
(Clara laughs.)
CLARA: Funny. You're funny.
(Then Skaldak grabs her head from above.)
GRISENKO: Let her go!
(Grisenko shoots and Skaldak retreats.)
GRISENKO: See? I don't just like Western music
(Skaldak grabs Grisenko as the Doctor runs up.)
CLARA: No, please don't hurt him. Please!
SKALDAK: You attacked me. Martian law decrees that the people of this planet are forfeit. I now have all the information I require. It will take only one missile to begin the process. To end this Cold War.
DOCTOR: Grand Marshal, there is no need for this. Listen to me.
SKALDAK: My distress call has not been answered. It will never be answered. My people are dead. They are dust. There is nothing left for me except my revenge.
(The armour in the torpedo room activates.)
DOCTOR: There is something left for you, Skaldak. Mercy.
SKALDAK: Mercy?
ZHUKOV: You must wear that armour for a reason, my friend. Let's see, shall we?
DOCTOR: No, Captain, wait!
ZHUKOV: I will do whatever it takes to defend my world, Doctor.
DOCTOR: Yes, great, fine, good, but we are getting somewhere here. We are negotiating. Jaw-jaw not war-war.
GRISENKO: Churchill?
DOCTOR: Churchill.
ZHUKOV: Very well, we'll negotiate, but from a position of strength.
SKALDAK: Excellent tactical thinking. My congratulations, Captain.
ZHUKOV: Thank you.
SKALDAK: Unfortunately, your position is not, perhaps, as strong as you might hope.
(We have been getting glimpses of Skaldak in the dark. Red glowing eyes, lipless mouth, all copyright H G Wells, in my opinion.)
DOCTOR: What do you mean?
(Enter the armour, which has broken its shackles. Skaldak releases Grisenko and drops into it.)
DOCTOR: He summoned the armour.
CLARA: How did it do that?
DOCTOR: Sonic tech, Clara. The song of the Ice Warrior.
(A submariner empties his rifle at the back of the armour.)
DOCTOR: No!
SKALDAK: My world is dead but now there will be a second red planet. Red with the blood of humanity!
DOCTOR: Skaldak! Skaldak, wait!

[Control room]

(Skaldak plugs himself into the computer and the launch key locks turn. A missile spins up.)
DOCTOR: No! Skaldak, wait! Wait, wait.
ZHUKOV: He's arming the warheads.
DOCTOR: Where is the honour in condemning billions of innocents to death? Five thousand years ago Mars was the centre of a vast empire. The jewel of this solar system. The people of Earth had only just begun to leave their caves. Five thousand years isn't such a long time. They're still just frightened children, still primitive. Who are you to judge them?
(Skaldak unplugs himself.)
SKALDAK: I am Skaldak! This planet is forfeit under Martian law.
DOCTOR: Then teach them. Teach them, Grand Marshal. Show them another way. Show them there is honour in mercy. Is this how you want history to remember you? Grand Marshal Skaldak, Destroyer of Earth. Because that's what you'll be if you send those missiles. Not a soldier, a murderer. Five billion lives extinguished. No chance for goodbyes. A world snuffed out like a candle flame! All right. All right, Skaldak, you leave me no choice. I'm a Time Lord, Skaldak. I know a thing or two about sonic technology myself.
SKALDAK: A threat? You threaten me, Doctor?
DOCTOR: No. No, not you, all of us. I will blow this sub up before you can even reach that button, Grand Marshal. Blow us all to oblivion.
SKALDAK: You would sacrifice yourself?
DOCTOR: In a heartbeat.
SKALDAK: Mutually assured destruction.
DOCTOR: Look into my eyes, Skaldak. Look into my eyes and tell me you're capable of doing this. Huh? Can you do that? Dare you do that? Look into my eyes, Skaldak. Come on. Face to face.
SKALDAK: Well, Doctor.
(The helmet tilts back to reveal the Martian lizard with its lidless eyes.)
SKALDAK: Which of us shall blink first?
CLARA: Why did you hesitate? Back there, in the dark. You were going to kill this man, remember? I begged you not to, and you listened. Why show compassion then, Skaldak, and not now? The Doctor's right. Billions will die. Mothers, sons, fathers, daughters. Remember that last battle, Skaldak? Your daughter. You sang the songs.
SKALDAK: Of the Red Snows.
(The submarine shifts.)
CLARA: What's happening?
(A tractor beam has grabbed them.)
SKALDAK: My people live. They have come for me!
ZHUKOV: We're rising. We're rising!
GRISENKO: Six hundred metres. Five fifty.
(The conning tower breaks through the ice.)
DOCTOR: We've surfaced. Your people have saved us.
SKALDAK: Saved me, not you.
DOCTOR: Just go, Skaldak, please. Please, go in peace.
(Skaldak is teleported away.)
CLARA: We did it. We did it!
DOCTOR: No. No, no, no, no, no. It's still armed. A single pulse from that ship. I'll destroy us if I have to. I will destroy us if I have to. Show mercy, Skaldak. Come on. Show mercy.
CLARA: (sings) I'm lost and I'm found, and I'm hungry like the wolf.
(The nuclear trigger disarms and the silos close. The Doctor turns off his sonic screwdriver.)
DOCTOR: Now we're safe.
(Clara hugs him for a long moment.)
CLARA: Ahem. Saved the world, then?
DOCTOR: Yeah.
CLARA: That's what we do.
DOCTOR: Yeah.

[Conning tower]

(They look up at the Martian spaceship.)
CLARA: The Tardis! Where's the Tardis? You never explained.
DOCTOR: Oh well, don't worry about that.
CLARA: Stop saying that. Where is it?
DOCTOR: Yeah. Well, I wasn't to know, was I?
CLARA: Know what?
DOCTOR: I've been tinkering, breaking her in. I'm allowed.
CLARA: What did you do?
DOCTOR: (sotto) I reset the HADS.
CLARA: Huh?
DOCTOR: I reset the HADS.
CLARA: The what?
DOCTOR: The HADS. The Hostile Action Displacement System. If the Tardis comes under attack, gunfire, time winds, the sea, it relocates.
CLARA: Oh, Doctor.
DOCTOR: Haven't used it in donkey's years. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Well, never mind, it's bound to turn up somewhere.
(His sonic screwdriver starts whirring.)
DOCTOR: Ooo. Ha, see? Right on cue. Brilliant.
CLARA: Brilliant.
DOCTOR: The Tardis is at the pole.
CLARA: Not far, then.
DOCTOR: The south pole.
CLARA: Ah.
DOCTOR: Could we have a lift?
(General laughter. The Doctor salutes the Martian spaceship as it flies away.) 

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