The Mind Robber

Original Airdate: 14 Sep, 1968

Episode One

[Outside the Tardis]

(The former atomic test island on Dulkis is having a small volcanic eruption.)
JAMIE: Doctor, come on, will you? Look!
DOCTOR: Oh, my word! Come on, Jamie. Into the Tardis, quickly!

[Tardis]

(On the scanner the lava is seen heading towards them.)
ZOE: Isn't it beautiful?
JAMIE: Eh?
ZOE: The volcanic eruption. It's beautiful!
JAMIE: Beautiful? A great river of molten lava rolling, any minute
DOCTOR: Shush, Jamie, a minute. Quiet! Oh! Oh dear!
JAMIE: Something wrong?
DOCTOR: Well, this sort of thing's happened before. The fluid links don't seem to be able to take the load.
(Smoke comes out of the console.)
DOCTOR: Oh! Oh!
ZOE: Mercury vapour.
DOCTOR: Yes.
JAMIE: Well, we can't stay here. We'll be buried by that lava. It's nearly on us. Look!
DOCTOR: Oh, my word, what a wonderful sight.
ZOE: Fantastic.
JAMIE: Listen, will you two stop gaping at that and get us out of here.
DOCTOR: Don't worry, Jamie. We're safe in the Tardis.
JAMIE: Are you sure?
DOCTOR: Well
JAMIE: I mean, has the Tardis ever been buried up to its neck in lava before?
DOCTOR: Well, no.
JAMIE: Well, how can you be so sure we're going to be all right?
DOCTOR: Well perhaps the fluid links have cooled down by now. That's a bit more power. Zoe, can you read off what that meter is registering, please?
ZOE: Reading nine eight seven point three.
DOCTOR: Yes.
ZOE: Point four.
DOCTOR: Ah.
ZOE: Five.
DOCTOR: Oh no.
ZOE: Six. It's jumped to nine nine one point. No, it's going up by numerals!
DOCTOR: Oh no!
DOCTOR: Oh! This darn thing's stuck! Of all the stupid, idiotic!
(The console is smoking again.)
JAMIE: Doctor! The lava's up to the Tardis!
ZOE: It's reached the thousand danger mark, Doctor!
DOCTOR: If only I could unstick this stupid, idiotic. Oh, there we are. Oh.
ZOE: Have you done it?
DOCTOR: No, but I've
ZOE: Are we on our way?
DOCTOR: I've stopped the fluid links from vapourising. We shan't suffocate.
JAMIE: Aye, but if you don't hurry up and get us out of here, we'll be fried by that lava.
ZOE: Well, isn't there any way we can get away?
DOCTOR: Well there is an emergency unit, but, oh no, I can't possibly use that.
ZOE: But this is an emergency!
DOCTOR: But it moves the Tardis out of the time space dimension. Out of reality!
JAMIE: Well, fine. Reality's getting too hot anyway.
DOCTOR: Oh, I, oh all right.
(The Doctor opens a compartment in the console pedestal and takes out a small unit.)
DOCTOR: Here we are. Now then, which end was? Yes. No, look, I can't possibly use this. We don't know what will happen.
JAMIE: Look, will you stop your jabbering and get on with it. Look!
(The lava covers the scanner screen, which means it has reached the top of the Tardis. Jamie pushes the Doctor's hand down, clipping the new unit into the console controls. It's not the normal dematerialisation sound, and the light pulsates. Then it goes quiet.)
JAMIE: Ah. There you are. We're all right. What was all the panic all about?
DOCTOR: Is there any reading on the meter, Zoe?
ZOE: Yes it's. Well, that's funny. There's no reading at all.
DOCTOR: No. None of the meters are registering. Not one.
JAMIE: Ah, but we're safe, aren't we? I mean, we're out of that lava stuff and we're all right here.
DOCTOR: Yes, possibly. I'd better get working on the Tardis controls right away.
ZOE: Doctor, we're not actually in flight, are we?
DOCTOR: No. Why?
ZOE: Well, then presumably we've landed. So why isn't the scanner showing anything?
DOCTOR: Well, because, well, we're nowhere. It's as simple as that. I'll be in the power room, Jamie.
JAMIE: Aye, right.
(The Doctor leaves.)
JAMIE: Hey! What does he mean, we're nowhere?
ZOE: I don't know. I suppose he means that outside the Tardis now is nothing. Just nothing.
(The scanner is blank.)
JAMIE: Well, I'm away to change, and I suggest you do the same. You look like a wee McLarty.
ZOE: A what?
JAMIE: A ragamuffin, a. Oh, never mind.

[Power room]

(Zoe has changed into a glittering cat suit.)
ZOE: Doctor?
DOCTOR: What's happened?
ZOE: Oh, nothing. It's all exactly the same.
DOCTOR: Oh good, good.
ZOE: You're worried by something, Doctor. What is it?
DOCTOR: Me? Worried? No. No. It's only the unknown that worries me, Zoe.
ZOE: But if there's nothing outside the Tardis and we're nowhere, then what is there to worry about?
DOCTOR: I don't know. But you see, the emergency unit is limited to a certain time simply because it's
ZOE: Because it's dangerous to stay where we are for any longer, yes. But we must be safe at the moment, otherwise the unit wouldn't let us stay here, would it?
DOCTOR: You're interested in what's outside the Tardis now, aren't you?
ZOE: Well, curious, yes.
DOCTOR: Zoe, listen to me. If we move outside the Tardis, we step into a dimension about which we know nothing. We should be at the mercy of the forces outside time and space as we know it.
ZOE: But Doctor, I still think we should go out and see.
DOCTOR: Zoe, we must stay in the Tardis.

[Tardis]

(Jamie has put on a roll neck sweater instead of the dirty shirt, and is looking at the scanner. There are highland views and the sound of bagpipes. When Zoe enters, we don't hear the music any more.)
ZOE: He's still got his head stuck in that
JAMIE: Zoe, do you see that? Do you see where we are?
ZOE: What?
JAMIE: Look on the scanner! It's my home! It's Scotland!
ZOE: Scotland?
JAMIE: Aye!
(The scanner is blank.)
JAMIE: Oh. Oh, it was there.
ZOE: Oh yes? 
JAMIE: Now look, I'm not seeing things, you know. It was there, I tell you.
ZOE: Really?
JAMIE: Aye. The mist must have covered it over. Aye, you get a lot of mist in the Highlands.
ZOE: So you think we've landed then?
JAMIE: Yes. I mean I couldn't have seen anything, could I? Oh, just a minute.
ZOE: What?
JAMIE: There's a wee gadget on here somewhere that warns you to go elsewhere if there's any danger. No, no it's definitely switched off. We've landed.
ZOE: Well, I think it's more likely that you saw
(Zoe sees a futuristic city on the scanner.)
ZOE: It can't be, Jamie.
JAMIE: Aye, it's switched off all right.
ZOE: It's the city. My home. Jamie, you did see something, but it wasn't Scotland.
JAMIE: Of course it was. Look, I know Scotland when I see it.
ZOE: And I know my home city. Anyway, there's your proof.
(The scanner is blank.)
ZOE: But I don't understand. It was there.
JAMIE: Yeah, I know. Scotland.
ZOE: No. It was quite plainly. Oh, anyway, we've both seen something, so that proves we've landed, doesn't it?
JAMIE: Yes.
ZOE: Well, let's go out and see.
JAMIE: Now not without the Doctor.
ZOE: Oh, all right.
JAMIE: Aye.
(Jamie leaves. The city reappears on the scanner.)
ZOE: It is! Jamie, Doctor, It is my home! Oh, come on! Now which one?
(Zoe finds the door opening switch. It is just white outside.)
ZOE: Oh, come on!
(Zoe goes out through the doors and disappears. The city view on the scanner vanishes too.)

[Power room]

JAMIE: No, we definitely saw something!
DOCTOR: But Jamie, it's not poss. You say you both saw different things?
JAMIE: No! It was definitely Scotland. Zoe thought she saw something else, her. home city or something, but no, it was very misty and she couldnae have seen right.
DOCTOR: So you both saw your homes?
JAMIE: No, Doctor. I'm saying
(The Doctor leaves.)
JAMIE: Och.

[Tardis]

DOCTOR: Zoe? Oh, my word!
JAMIE: Where is she?
DOCTOR: Zoe! Zoe!
JAMIE: Och, I told her to wait. I'll go and get her.
DOCTOR: No, Jamie. Don't you see? Those pictures that you and Zoe saw on the scanner were put there. Obviously put there to tempt you to go outside. 
JAMIE: But who by?
DOCTOR: I don't know, but there's someone or something out there that wants us to go out of the Tardis.
JAMIE: You mean some kind of danger?
DOCTOR: I don't know.
(There's a beep and a light flashes on the emergency unit.)
DOCTOR: Oh, no. That's the first warning. There isn't much more time.
JAMIE: What about Zoe? We can't leave her out there. I'll go and find her.
DOCTOR: No, Jamie! No!
(Jamie runs through the doors into the whiteness and disappears.)
DOCTOR: Jamie! Jamie!
(The warning sound gets faster.)
DOCTOR: Oh. Oh no!
(A strange rasping noise fills the console room.)
DOCTOR: Who are you? Who are you? Where are you? What do you want with me?
(The Doctor sits in a chair.)
DOCTOR: No, no, I must fight. I must fight! I will fight!

[Limbo]

ZOE [OC]: Jamie? Doctor, where are you?
(Zoe appears in the distance, in a white empty nothingness.)
JAMIE [OC]: Zoe! Zoe!
(Jamie appears from near us.)
ZOE: Oh, Jamie, I though I was lost for good.
JAMIE: Aye. It's funny out here isn't it? It's not the mist that we thought it was. It's er
ZOE: Opaque. Nothingness. Just like the Doctor said.
JAMIE: Aye. It doesn't feel right, though. Come on, back to the Tardis.
ZOE: Is that the right way?
JAMIE: Of course it's the right way. Oh. Er, no, it could be. Oh.
ZOE: We're lost, aren't we?
JAMIE: No, I wouldn't say that. We're just er. Well, we er. We just. You want to know something?
ZOE: What?
JAMIE: I think we're lost.
ZOE: Oh, this isn't a joke, Jamie.
JAMIE: No, you're right. The Doctor was saying that those images we saw in the scanner were put here to tempt us out.
ZOE: Well, if there was somebody trying to tempt us away, where are they? And who are they?
JAMIE: Aye. Aye, well, let's not be in too much of a hurry to find out, eh?
ZOE: But what are we going to do?
JAMIE: The Tardis can't be that far away. No. If we stand here and shout for the Doctor, when he hears us he can guide us back. Doctor?
ZOE: Doctor! Can you hear us?

[Tardis]

(The Doctor keeps his eyes shut as he concentrates.)
JAMIE [OC]: Doctor!
ZOE [OC]: Doctor!
JAMIE [OC]: Answer if you can hear us?
DOCTOR [OC]: No. I will fight. I will fight!

[Limbo]

ZOE: Oh, Jamie, this is hopeless. We could be going round in circles.
JAMIE: Aye. You know, I've got the funny feeling that we're being watched. Do you not feel it too?
ZOE: Yes.
(They are being watched by two white robots.)
JAMIE: Can you see anyone?
ZOE: No. No one at all. Jamie, look!
JAMIE: What is it?
ZOE: It's very faint, but I think it's my home again.
JAMIE: Zoe, it's a trick. Now you know it is.
ZOE: Oh Jamie, it's gone.
JAMIE: Well, that proves it, doesn't it? A city like that doesn't just disappear, does it?
ZOE: But it is out there.
JAMIE: It's not, Zoe. You know it isn't.
ZOE: No, I know. But for a moment I thought it was real. It was almost as though I was seeing what I most wanted to see. Oh Jamie, all right, we've got to get away. Jamie?
(Jamie is staring at the Highlands and listening to bagpipes again.)
ZOE: Jamie, it's not real.
JAMIE: I know, but it's there.
ZOE: No, Jamie, it's not.
JAMIE: I must
ZOE: No, Jamie, no!
(Zoe slaps Jamie's face.)
JAMIE: Oh! What did you do?
ZOE: Oh, the Doctor's right. There is something or someone trying to tempt us away.
JAMIE: Aye.
(They hold hands and turn to see the white robots.)
JAMIE: What are they?
ZOE: I don't know, but they don't look very friendly.
(They are surrounded by four robots. Then they see images of themselves dressed in white, beckoning them to come. Zoe screams.)

[Tardis]

(With his eyes still closed, the Doctor can see the white figures. He tries to communicate with his mind.)
DOCTOR [OC]: Jamie, Zoe, don't go! Don't go!
VOICE [OC]: Follow them. Follow and save them.
(The Doctor opens his eyes.)
DOCTOR [OC]: Who are you? What do you want?
VOICE [OC]: Follow them.
DOCTOR [OC]: No, I won't. I won't give in.
VOICE [OC]: You will. You will. You will.
(In the Limbo void, the robots use a chest device on Jamie and Zoe to mesmerise them. Zoe screams again.)
VOICE [OC]: There is still time. Save them. Save them!
DOCTOR [OC]: I can't let it happen. I can't.
(The Doctor leaves the Tardis.)

[Limbo]

(The Tardis is white, too.)
DOCTOR: Jamie? Zoe?
DOCTOR [OC]: Jamie, Zoe, concentrate only on my words. Think of me. Think of the Tardis. They are the only real things here. Everything else is unreality. It is only in your minds. Now, concentrate. Come to me now. Now! Walk straight to the Tardis. Don't stop!
(White-clad Jamie and Zoe move forward, escorted by the robots.)
DOCTOR [OC]: Come on. Keep walking to the Tardis. Come on. Don't look behind you! Now, go in. Go in!
(Jamie and Zoe are in front of the Doctor.)
DOCTOR: Jamie, Zoe, go in before it's too late!
(The robots use their mesmer beams again. The Doctor grabs Jamie and Zoe and pushes them to the Tardis.)
DOCTOR: Go in!

[Tardis]

DOCTOR: Go in!
(Jamie and Zoe are wearing their normal clothes again. The Doctor closes the doors.)
JAMIE: Doctor, what's been happening?
DOCTOR: Shush, Jamie. Quiet.
(The Tardis dematerialises.)
DOCTOR: How do you feel?
ZOE: What happened? Where have we been?
DOCTOR: Nowhere.
JAMIE: But but
DOCTOR: All mental images, Jamie. Pure imagination.
ZOE: But why? What's all this about?
DOCTOR: I don't know. We've got to be careful. We've got to be very, very careful now.
ZOE: But, careful? But we're safe enough back in the Tardis, aren't we?
DOCTOR: Yes, possibly.
(The metallic rasping sound starts up.)
JAMIE: What's that?
DOCTOR: I, I, I don't know.
JAMIE: Oh, it's not the Tardis going wrong again?
DOCTOR: No, no, we're on our way all right, but the trouble is I don't know where to.
JAMIE: Well, that's not unusual. Look, just tell me when we get there, eh?
ZOE: I'm sorry, Doctor. It was my fault. I shouldn't have gone outside.
DOCTOR: That's all right, Zoe. I don't think you could help it.
ZOE: Why not?
DOCTOR: Well, I think whoever it was that was tempting you outside made it irresistible. Why, even I gave in when the voice said
ZOE: What voice?
DOCTOR: I don't know. Perhaps there wasn't one. Perhaps it was just illusion.
ZOE: But we are safe now?
DOCTOR: Oh, yes, yes, yes. The Tardis is performing quite normally. Oh, that's odd.
ZOE: What?
DOCTOR: Well, this meter's dropped below a thousand.
ZOE: Well, is that critical?
DOCTOR: No. It just means that we're using more power than we're storing, but don't worry. We've got n emergency power booster unit here somewhere, if I can find the switch. Now. No. Oh dear. It's here somewhere.
(Jamie is sleeping in the chair, and starts having a nightmare. There's the sound of a horse neighing.)
DOCTOR: Ah!
ZOE: Found it?
DOCTOR: Yes. Yes, that's the one. Now just a little bit more power and, read off the meter for me, will you, Zoe?
ZOE: Reading nine nine oh.
DOCTOR: Yes.
ZOE: One.
DOCTOR: Good.
ZOE: Two.
DOCTOR: Fine.
ZOE: Three.
(Jamie wakes with a shout.)
DOCTOR: Quiet, Jamie.
JAMIE: Oh. What's been happening?
ZOE: Four.
DOCTOR: Yes.
ZOE: Steady at four.
DOCTOR: Oh, no. Oh.
JAMIE: Is something wrong?
ZOE: Five.
DOCTOR: Good.
ZOE: Six.
DOCTOR: Fine.
ZOE: Seven, eight.
DOCTOR: Oh, let it creep up now. I don't want to blow the fluid links again.
JAMIE: I just had the most peculiar dream. There was this big white horse with a horn right in the middle of his head, and
ZOE: A unicorn?
JAMIE: Hey? Aye, probably. He was charging straight towards me.
ZOE: Nine nine eight.
JAMIE: Head down, ready for the kill! I thought any moment
ZOE: Oh really, Jamie. Your imagination is
JAMIE: What's the matter?
ZOE: I don't. Jamie, look.
(The Doctor has his eyes closed and his hand against his head.)
JAMIE: Doctor?
DOCTOR: Hmm?
JAMIE: What's up?
DOCTOR: Quiet, Jamie, quiet.
(Jamie winces from a pain in his head.)
DOCTOR: That sound. That vibration. It's alien.
ZOE: I can feel it too. In my head.
DOCTOR: I don't seem to be able to concentrate. Concentrate. Both of you, concentrate on something!
ZOE: I can't!
JAMIE: What is it?
DOCTOR: Read out the figures to me, Zoe, aloud. Go on.
ZOE: Nine nine one.
DOCTOR: Louder! Both of you, read them off!
ZOE: Two.
DOCTOR: Oh, it's getting stronger.
ZOE + JAMIE: Three.
DOCTOR: It's dragging me!
ZOE: Four.
DOCTOR: Concentrate! Both of you! 
ZOE + JAMIE: Five.
DOCTOR: Oh, it's too strong!
ZOE + JAMIE: Six.
DOCTOR: It's too powerful!
ZOE + JAMIE: Seven.
DOCTOR: Oh, it's too powerful.
ZOE + JAMIE: Eight.
DOCTOR: No, I must fight!
ZOE + JAMIE: Nine.
DOCTOR: I must fight!
ZOE + JAMIE: Ten.
DOCTOR: I will fight!
ZOE + JAMIE: Eleven.
(The sides of the Tardis come apart, leaving Jamie and Zoe lying on the console, hanging on grimly as it slowly spins in the blackness.)
ZOE: Jamie, the Doctor!
(Zoe screams, a lot. The Doctor is spinning, eyes closed, as the console disappears into a sudden mist.)

Episode Two

[Forest]

(There is ground, and thick square-cut timbers places as if they were trees. Jamie is searching.)
JAMIE: Doctor? Zoe? Where are you? What's happened?
ZOE [OC]: Jamie! Jamie, over here!
JAMIE: Zoe? Is that you?
(Jamie sees a soldier loading a musket.)
JAMIE: Redcoats. Am I back in my own time? If I am, they'll shoot me down.
(Jamie takes out his sgian dubh and steps forward.)
JAMIE: Shoot me down like a dog, would you? Well, a McCrimmon's never died without a fight yet. Creag an tuire!
(The Redcoat shoots, and Jamie turns into a cardboard cut-out.)
ZOE [OC]: Jamie? Jamie!
(Elsewhere -)
ZOE: Jamie, I'm here! Where are you? Jamie, can you hear me? Jamie!
(Zoe turns to see a large dressed-stone wall with bare-branched shrubs in front of it. She turns again and there is another wall.)
ZOE: Jamie, Doctor, help! Somebody help me! I'm trapped!
(A gothic pair of doors appear in the wall and creak open. Zoe steps through and falls down a hole, screaming. The door shuts.)

[Control room]

(The cardboard Jamie is on one screen, and the gothic doors on another.)
MASTER: Good. Good. Excellent. And now the good Doctor. Where is he?
(A third screen shows the forest.)
MASTER: Look around. He must be here somewhere. Find him. Search.
(There is a figure seated at a control desk with his back to us. When he gives commands his voice is harsh, when he talks to himself it is gentle.)
MASTER: I see. He has eluded us for the moment. So he is not yet completely under my control. Perhaps it is better this way. Yes. He'll soon find out. Find him. Search all areas.

[Forest]

(The Doctor is sitting leaning against a timber.)
DOCTOR: Jamie. Zoe. Jamie. Fight. I must fight. Fight! Fight!
(The Doctor wakes and looks around.)
DOCTOR: Where in time and space am I? Where are the others? Jamie? Zoe?
JAMIE [OC]: Doctor! Hello!
DOCTOR: Jamie, is that you?
ZOE [OC]: Jamie! Doctor!
DOCTOR: Zoe! Zoe?
ZOE [OC]: Doctor, I'm trapped. Help me, please!
(The Doctor runs around the timbers, getting nowhere.)
DOCTOR: All right, Zoe, just stay where you are and I'll see if I can find you. Hello? Call out to me!
JAMIE [OC]: Here! Over here!
DOCTOR: Yes, all right, Jamie.
ZOE [OC]: Hello, Doctor! I'm over here!
DOCTOR: All right, Zoe.
JAMIE [OC]; Over here.
DOCTOR: All right, Jamie.
ZOE [OC]: Doctor, please!
DOCTOR: No! No! No! No! No! Not both together. One at a time! Now then, Jamie, you seem to be the nearer. You first. Count up to ten.
JAMIE [OC]: One, two, three, four, five

[Control room]

MASTER: Find him. Search. Search! Perhaps some light will help.

[Forest]

DOCTOR: This is like exploring a maze in the dark.
(And the lights come on.)
DOCTOR: Well, thank you, whoever you are.
(Mechanical footsteps echo and the Doctor hides to watch giant tin soldiers with lamps on their tall helmets go past.)

[Control room]

MASTER: Spread out. Cover the whole area. Slowly. Keep moving. Look left to right. Search every inch of the forest. I know the Doctor is here somewhere. Hmm. No sign of him. Well, he can't be far away. We'll continue on this course. Track him down. Those are your orders. He must be found.

[Forest]

(The tin soldiers clank past and the Doctor comes out of hiding.)
DOCTOR: {loud whisper) Jamie! Zoe!
GULLIVER: Heckinah degul.
(The Doctor is confronted by a man with a flint-lock pistol. Everyone say Hi! to Bernard Horsfall.)
GULLIVER: Tolgo fonac.
(He gestures the Doctor to approach.)
GULLIVER: Langro dehul san? Grildig? Splacknuck?
DOCTOR: Parlez-vous Francais?
GULLIVER: Recalsitrat (?) undique tutis! Glandack daytan!
DOCTOR: Do you speak English by any chance?
GULLIVER: Sir, my birth was of honest parents in an island called England.
(And that's the final clincher who this character is - his words all come from Gulliver's Travels by Jonathan Swift.)
DOCTOR: Oh, good gracious me. Why didn't you say so at once?
GULLIVER: I spoke in as many languages as I have the least smattering of. High and low Dutch, Latin.
DOCTOR: Well, let's start at the beginning again, shall we? What did you say to me?
GULLIVER: I said, beware false traitor, highwayman, robber, pickpocket, murderer.
DOCTOR: I think you must be making some mistake. Highwayman, indeed? Can you tell me when you were last in England?
GULLIVER: We set sail from Bristol on May the 4th, 1699.
DOCTOR: We?
GULLIVER: What became of my companions I cannot tell. They were all lost.
DOCTOR: Oh, my dear sir, you and I are in the same boat.
GULLIVER: You have a stout ship?
DOCTOR: No, no, no, unfortunately, no. Look, would you mind taking that pop gun away? It does unsettle me so.
GULLIVER: Well sir, if you can assure me you are no traitor.
DOCTOR: Now how can I be a traitor when I don't even know where I am? Where am I?
GULLIVER: I cannot tell.
DOCTOR: That makes two of us, doesn't it. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Listen, I've lost my companions too. Two of them, a boy and a girl, Jamie and Zoe. You haven't seen them by any chance?
GULLIVER: Alas, no.
DOCTOR: No, no. Well, I've got to find them. Perhaps you could help me, if you know your way around.
GULLIVER: It is not permitted.
DOCTOR: Who says so?
GULLIVER: The Master!
DOCTOR: The Master?
GULLIVER: He has articles of impeachment against you for treason and other capital crimes.
DOCTOR: Treason again. Really.
GULLIVER: I leave you to your prudence what measures you will take. And now sir, to avoid suspicion, I must retire in as private a manner I came.
(Gulliver bows slightly and walks away.)
DOCTOR: Oh but sir. Oh no, don't go. I wanted to ask you. (Gulliver has vanished.)
DOCTOR: A hallucination? Oh, well. Jamie? Zoe!
DORA [OC]: Cooeee!
DOCTOR: Is that you, Zoe?
(A Victoria or Edwardian girl appears behind the doctor and a boy in front of him. She is from Edith Nesbit's Treasure Seekers, the eldest of the Bastable children.)
DORA: Cooeee!
DOCTOR: Who's that? Who are you?
(Now there are four boys and two girls around him.)
DOCTOR: Well. Well, well, well, well, well. How do you do?
OSWALD: Why did the chicken cross the road?
DOCTOR: Well, really, I don't think this is the time for riddles.
DORA: You must answer. Why did the chicken cross the road?
DOCTOR: Oh very well. To get to the other side, or so I've always been led to believe. Now would you mind telling me
OSWALD: Which is correct. The yolk of an egg is white or the yolk of an egg are white?
DOCTOR: Neither, it's yellow.
ALICE: How many beans make five?
DOCTOR: I
DICKY: Where was Moses when the lights went out?
DOCTOR: Well, I 
NOEL: Adam and Eve and Pinch Me went down to the river to bathe.
CHILDREN: Adam and Eve got drowned. Who do you think was saved?
DOCTOR: Well, Pinch Me, obviously.
(So they pinch him, obviously.)
DOCTOR: Ow! No! Stop it! Don't do that! Now it's my turn to ask you questions. (The first boy holds a sword blade to the Doctor's throat.)
OSWALD: What can you make of a sword?
DOCTOR: Huh?
OSWALD: What can you make of it?
DICKY: Rearrange it.
NOEL: Think.
DORA: This is your last chance.
ALICE: S W O R D. Rearrange.
DOCTOR: S W O R D. Rearrange. Well, rearranged it makes W O R D S. Words.
CHILDREN: Hooray!
(Oswald throws the sword in the air. The Doctor reaches to catch it and gets a large book instead.)
DOCTOR: Well, it's a dictionary. Words.
OSWALD: You have answered correctly.
DORA: You may be suitable.
DOCTOR: Suitable?
ALICE: I do hope so.
HORACE: Come on, it's teatime!
DICKY: I'm hungry!
NOEL: Race you home!
(The children run off and vanish.)
DOCTOR: Words.
JAMIE [OC]: Doctor. Over here!
DOCTOR: Jamie? Jamie? Is that you?
(He sees the cardboard cut-out.)
DOCTOR: Oh, Jamie! It's just another trick! Hello? What's this? A safe? Locked, of course. And a wishing well. I wish. I wish I believed in wishing wells.
(The Doctor drops the dictionary down the well. There is the sound of derisive laughter then an image appears in the mist - M and T crossed through.)
DOCTOR: Hello. This is a puzzle, that's what it is.
(Another image of a fortune readers palm diagram, with a H crossed through.)
DOCTOR: Oh yes. Yes, I'm beginning to recognize this. Sort of picture writing. Let me see now. Jamie. Mist. Mist without the M or the T, i s. Is. Hand without the H, and. So we have Jamie is safe and well!
(There is a pop, and the cardboard Jamie is next to him without a face.)
DOCTOR: Oh. Oh, I've lost his face.
(There is a board next to the Doctor containing a selection of eyes, noses and mouths.)
DOCTOR: Hello. Oh, I see. I'm supposed to provide the face, am I? Very well. Now then. Yes. There we are.
(He puts a pair of eyes on Jamie.)
DOCTOR: Oh yes, that's his nose all right. And, yes. Yes.
(As soon as he puts the mouth in place -)
DOCTOR: Oh no, I've done it wrong! Oh!
(Jamie comes back to life. Everyone say Hi to Hamish Wilson who is filling in while Fraser Hines is off with chicken pox - hence the re-write of this episode.)
JAMIE: Doctor. Oh, I'm glad to see you again.
DOCTOR: But, but you're not Jamie.
JAMIE: Eh?
(Someone chuckles.)
JAMIE: What are you on about?
DOCTOR: Well, your face, it's different.
JAMIE: What do you mean, different?
DOCTOR: Well, look. Look in the mirror.
(The Doctor takes a mirror out of his pocket.)
JAMIE: That's not my face!
DOCTOR: Well, it's the one you're stuck with for the moment.
JAMIE: But why should I suddenly be different?
DOCTOR: I don't know. It's a particularly nasty trick on the part of the person who brought us here.
JAMIE: Brought us here? What's happening?
DOCTOR: I don't know. Just a minute. If you really are Jamie, you should know what's happened. How did you get here?
JAMIE: Well, you know I was telling you about my dream. You know, about the unicorn.
DOCTOR: Yes?
JAMIE: Well, he was charging straight for me, head down, ready for the kill, when suddenly everything went crazy and I was off.
DOCTOR: Off? Where to? Where've you been?
JAMIE: In the fog. I mean, really. Ever since the Tardis broke up.
DOCTOR: It did what?
JAMIE: It broke up. It fell to bits. The next thing I knew I was wandering about here. I heard you calling but I couldn't find you.
ZOE [OC]: Jamie! Help!
DOCTOR: Zoe? Where are you?
ZOE [OC]: I'm trapped. You must help me!
JAMIE: It sounds as if she's over there.
DOCTOR: What? Come on, then!
(Jamie and the Doctor run through the timbers to the gothic door.)
DOCTOR: Zoe!
ZOE [OC]: I can't get out! Help me, please!
JAMIE: There's no handle. There's no sign of a lock either.
DOCTOR: Don't you see? It's not even a door at all. It's just a brick wall with a door painted on it.
JAMIE: But that's crazy! How do you open a door that isn't a door?
DOCTOR: Now let me think.
JAMIE: What's the good of thinking? What we want is a battering ram.
DOCTOR: When
JAMIE: One of these trees.
DOCTOR: Is a door not a door?
JAMIE: Och, this is no time for riddles.
DOCTOR: No. When is a door not a door?
JAMIE: Eh?
DOCTOR: When it's ajar!
JAMIE: Eh?
ZOE [OC]: Get me out! Get me out! 
(Zoe appears, trapped in a large glass preserves jar. Jamie and the Doctor laugh.)
ZOE: Get me out! Get me out!
JAMIE: Oh, Zoe.
ZOE: Get me out!
JAMIE: Not unless you promise to be a good girl.
ZOE: Oh, you.
DOCTOR: Go on, get her out.
JAMIE: All right.
(Jamie rips through the paper lid and helps Zoe out.)
JAMIE: Come on then. Up you come. One, two, three.
ZOE: I thought I was never going to get out of. Well, who are you?
JAMIE: Eh? Don't you start, Zoe. I've had enough from the Doctor. I tell you I'm me, Jamie!
ZOE: Well, why does he look so different?
DOCTOR: Well, I'll tell you later. I think it's about time we got out of this wood.
JAMIE: Aye, this place gives me the creeps.
DOCTOR: Yes, well, you go on ahead, Jamie.
(Jamie leaves.)
ZOE: Is that really Jamie?
DOCTOR: Well. Well, yes.
ZOE: But he couldn't just have changed like that, I mean it's impossible.
DOCTOR: Well, I think we may be in a place where nothing is impossible. Come on.
(Time has passed, and they are still wandering amongst the timbers, getting nowhere.)
ZOE: Oh my feet ache. I'm going to sit down and have a rest.
JAMIE: If only we could see over these trees. Doctor, if you could give me a leg up, I could shin up one of them.
DOCTOR: Yes, good idea. Come along.
(Jamie goes inside a large, apparently hollow, timber.)
DOCTOR: Up you go. Can you manage?
JAMIE: Aye, I think so. It's a bit tricky but I'm nearly there.
DOCTOR: There's a foothold.
JAMIE: Ah! I'm at the top. Doctor.
ZOE: What is it? Can you see something?
JAMIE: I can see all right. Do you know what this tree is?
DOCTOR: No, what?
JAMIE: It's a letter S. The next one's an L, and then an O and a W. It's a forest of words.
DOCTOR: This must be a world of words.
ZOE: Well, what do the words say?
JAMIE: Slow but sure. In for a penny.
DOCTOR: In for a pound. They're all sayings, proverbs.
JAMIE: Look before you leap. I can't read any more.
ZOE: Well, never mind that. Can you see a way out?
JAMIE: I think so. Yes. Yes.
DOCTOR: Down you come. There's a foothold. Can you manage? That's right. Steady. There.
JAMIE: There we are. It's this way.
(A little way along, they meet Gulliver with his pistol again.)
ZOE: Oh, Doctor.
DOCTOR: It's all right. Don't worry, I've met this gentleman before. He's a traveller like ourselves.
GULLIVER: Sir.
DOCTOR: Delighted to meet you again, sir. Allow me to present my two companions. This is Zoe, and this is Jamie.
JAMIE: How do you do, sir.
DOCTOR: We're trying to find our way out of this wood.
GULLIVER: This resolution may perhaps appear very bold and dangerous.
ZOE: But we've got to get away.
DOCTOR: Well, haven't you ever tried to escape from this place?
GULLIVER: No. No, I looked upon myself to be fully settled for life.
DOCTOR: These tests, what's the point of them?
GULLIVER: In choosing persons for all employments, they have regards to great abilities. A course of study is required to qualify any man for the service of his country.
ZOE: But who's in charge hear? Who's setting all these tests for us?
GULLIVER: The Master.
DOCTOR: Oh, the Master again, eh? I suppose this army of robots works for the Master as well.
GULLIVER: Army? As to their military affairs I knew not what they meant.
DOCTOR: Oh, surely you've seen them.
GULLIVER: I knew not what they meant.
DOCTOR: Ah now, but surely. That's the sound they make. They're coming back!
ZOE: Well, what do we do?
DOCTOR: We hide in among the trees. Quick! There's a J, there's room for two! Oh, thank goodness there's a letter C. You, sir, aren't you going to take cover?
GULLIVER: The best expedient I could think on was to keep guard.
ZOE: Well, whatever you do, don't give us away.
(Zoe, Jamie and the Doctor hide as the tin soldiers approach.)
GULLIVER: I could not forebear smiling, sir. What you told me is mistaken. There was no army here.
(The soldiers find Zoe and Jamie.)

[Control room]

MASTER: At last. Very well. Round them up and lead them away. You have your orders. You know what to do.

[Forest]

JAMIE: Thank you very much.
ZOE: Why did you give us away?
GULLIVER: But I said there was no army here.
DOCTOR: Jamie, Zoe, don't you see? As far as he's concerned, they don't exist. He can't see them.
GULLIVER: And now, sir, I must forebear to trouble you further. Having answered the only objections you have raised against me, I now take a final leave of you all.
DOCTOR: Sir.
JAMIE: Hey, but wait a bit
DOCTOR: I think the soldiers want us to go in the other direction.
ZOE: Doctor, these soldiers. Am I mad or do they look like toy soldiers?
DOCTOR: Yes. Particularly dangerous toys too. Come along, let's go.
(They walk into an empty blackness.)
ZOE: They've stopped.
JAMIE: Why have they brought us here?
DOCTOR: Well, we shall soon find out.

[Control room]

MASTER: Mission is accomplished.

[Blackness]

ZOE: It's so dark.
JAMIE: You know, I've got a funny sort of a feeling I've been here before.
DOCTOR: Shush! Listen.
JAMIE: It sounds like a horse galloping.
ZOE: It's getting nearer. It's coming this way!
DOCTOR: It's not a horse. Look!
(A dappled grey equine with a long horn in the middle of its forehead is tossing its head.)
ZOE: A unicorn.
JAMIE: My dream.
ZOE: It's looking at us!
DOCTOR: Keep quite still.
JAMIE: It's coming straight for us. Run!
DOCTOR: No!
JAMIE: We don't stand a chance!
DOCTOR: Stand still.
JAMIE: Doctor. 
ZOE: Oh, Doctor!
DOCTOR: Hold your ground!
JAMIE: Come on, this is my dream.
DOCTOR: No, stand still!

Episode Three

JAMIE: It's coming straight for us. Run!
DOCTOR: No!
(The Doctor hangs on to Jamie and Zoe's wrists.)
JAMIE: But we haven't got a chance! Don't you see, it's my dream all over again.
ZOE: It's real.
DOCTOR: No, it's not real. It's a legend. You mustn't believe in it, you mustn't. Say it doesn't exist. Say it.
JAMIE + ZOE: It doesn't exist.
(The unicorn stops in mid-gallop and becomes a cardboard cut-out.)
JAMIE: What happened?
DOCTOR: Another test.
JAMIE: But it was alive. We all saw it.
ZOE: It was terrifying.
DOCTOR: He challenged us to believe it.
JAMIE: Who? The Master?
DOCTOR: Whoever it is who's setting up all these conjuring tricks.
ZOE: But I don't understand.
DOCTOR: Well, the unicorn appeared to be real until you said it wasn't. Then we were safe.
ZOE: But we believed in it, Jamie and I.
DOCTOR: Yes, that was just the danger. Your belief was affecting me.
JAMIE: Who would think up a crazy notion like this?
DOCTOR: I don't know. A fantastic mind.

[Control room]

MASTER: Too kind. And if I may, I'd like to return the compliment. He's obviously supremely intelligent. He's learning the rules with admirable speed. Yes, you were right to choose the good Doctor.

[Blackness]

JAMIE: Doctor.
ZOE: The soldiers.

[Control room]

MASTER: Stop! Let them go. Wherever they run, whatever they do, every step they take will only brings them nearer. The trap is set. Let them walk into it.

[Tangled forest]

(Instead of giant letters, this is bare shrubs with thick cobwebs. Jamie uses his sgian dubh to hack a path through.)
ZOE: Oh, how much further?
JAMIE: There's no sign of the toy soldiers now.
DOCTOR: We've got to get out of this place.
JAMIE: Look, there's a house.
(The Redcoat is standing in front of the door.)
JAMIE: You again. I'll sort you this time. Creag an tuire!
(The Redcoat shoots Jamie point blank.)
ZOE: Jamie! Doctor?
(Jamie is a cardboard cut out with a blank face again.)
DOCTOR: Now it's all right, Zoe. Oh, come on, come on. If you want to play games, let's get on with it.
(Laughter.)
ZOE: What's that?
(The board with Jamie's identikit face arrives.)
DOCTOR: Well, I have to make up his face again.
ZOE: You did this before.
DOCTOR: Yes.
ZOE: And that's how Jamie's face got changed. You got it all wrong.
DOCTOR: What? No. No, no. Well I, I was rushed. Now then. There we are.
(Zoe shakes her head at the Doctor's choice of eyes.)
DOCTOR: All right, I know. There we are. One. Now then. Oh yes, that's his nose. You can't mistake his nose, can you. And.) (The Doctor reaches for a mouth then looks at Zoe. She smiles so he selects it and places it on Jamie's picture.)
DOCTOR: There you are, you see.
(Fraser Hines is back.)
ZOE: Jamie.
DOCTOR: Jamie.
ZOE: Thank goodness you're back.
JAMIE: Back? What do you mean back? I haven't been anywhere.
ZOE: You've got your face back. 
JAMIE: I have?
DOCTOR: Yes, look.
(Jamie takes the Doctor's mirror.)
JAMIE: Oh, you're right, I have. Oh, that's much better. Ah, the house. 
DOCTOR: Yes. Come along. Let's go inside.
(Jamie opens the gothic squeaking door that originally trapped Zoe.)

[Maze]

(This time no one falls anywhere. This is a rough stone edifice where candles drip in wall sconces and large cobwebs are the main decoration and there is the sound of dripping water from somewhere. The door creaks shut on its own.)
ZOE: There must be someone here. These candles are alight.
JAMIE: Hello, there.
(His voice echoes.)
ZOE: One, two, three, four tunnels leading off.
JAMIE: It would be easy to get lost in there.
DOCTOR: Just a moment.
JAMIE: What's he found?
DOCTOR: Ah, yes, A ball of twine. Hmm. Oh yes. This must have been an invitation.
ZOE: Why?
DOCTOR: Well, it's the classical way of getting through a maze. Now, Jamie, tie that to the door will you.
JAMIE: Hey, it's locked.
ZOE: Then we are meant to go on.
DOCTOR: Yes, I think we are.
(Jamie ties the end of the twine to the door handle.)
ZOE: But that means that wherever we go, at any time, they know.
DOCTOR: Yes.
ZOE: They're expecting us.
DOCTOR: Don't break the thread. Come along.

[Control room]

(On a monitor, three lights mark their progress through the labyrinth.)
MASTER: Ah, at last. The Doctor is commendably prompt. I wonder how long it will take him to get to the heart of the mystery.

[Tunnels]

(They have been walking for some time, because the ball of twine has almost run out.)
DOCTOR: Which way, do you think?
ZOE: To the right.
DOCTOR: They both look equally unattractive to me.
ZOE: But it must be to the right. I've been working it out as we went along.
JAMIE: Doctor.
DOCTOR: Shush. How?
ZOE: Well, as soon as we avoided the dead ends, it soon fell into a clear pattern. One left, two right, three left, four right and so on. It's a simple arithmetic progression.
JAMIE: Yes, but Doctor.
DOCTOR: Shush, Jamie.
DOCTOR: What it is to have an arithmetical brain. What do you want?
JAMIE: The thread's run out. Now, should we not go back?
DOCTOR: No, you stay here.
JAMIE: Ah.
DOCTOR: And Zoe and I will explore a little further. There must be another way out of this maze and I mean to find it.
(The Doctor goes right.)
ZOE: You see, they don't want us to find a way out, only a way in.
(Zoe follows the Doctor. Jamie starts whistling.)

[Control room]

(The display shows that they are getting close to the centre of the labyrinth.)
MASTER: Go on, go on. You're almost there.

[Labyrinth centre]

(The Doctor and Zoe come out of a tunnel.)
ZOE: I was right. This isn't the way out. We're in the middle of the maze. Oh Doctor, I don't like it. Let's go.
DOCTOR: Just a minute. I was rather expecting a welcoming committee. but perhaps I was wrong.
ZOE: Well, I hope you were.
DOCTOR: Ah yes, but there has been someone here. Not so long ago, either. Look.
(It's a disarticulated skeleton.)
ZOE: Oh!
DOCTOR: Oh. Oh.
ZOE: And there's some tracks of an animal, too. Oh Doctor, let's go.
(Something big roars.)
ZOE: It couldn't be.
DOCTOR: What?
ZOE: Well, I know it's silly, but do you remember the story of the Minotaur?
DOCTOR: Half man, half bull, yes.
ZOE: And he lived in the heart of a labyrinth. And there were human sacrifices!
DOCTOR: Exactly, but I don't think we need be too alarmed. After all
(Roar. The Doctor and Zoe have their arms around each other.)
DOCTOR: As I was saying, as long as we're quite certain the minotaur is only a
ZOE: Doctor, look!
(The shadow of a horned head falls across the wall. Roar!)

[Tunnels]

JAMIE: Doctor? Are you all right? What's happening?
(Jamie throws down the end of the twine and starts down the right tunnel, but immediately the sound of the clockwork soldiers begins so he hides. One of the enters and stands in front of him.)
JAMIE: Oh, so that's how you can see, is it? With that wee lighthouse of yours.
(The Master of Fiction watches as Jamie ducks down.)
(Jamie takes off his jacket. The soldier leans forward to see him. Jamie puts his jacket over its head.)

[Control room]

(The screen goes blank.)
MASTER: No! Brainless idiot. Get yourself free. Don't let the boy escape. Forward. Forward.
(In the tunnel, the soldier tips his head forward until the jacket falls off, then it heads off after Jamie.)

[Labyrinth centre]

ZOE: Doctor, it's moving. It's coming closer!
(Roar!)
ZOE: It's going to attack.
DOCTOR: But Zoe, it's a legend. Another mythical beast, like the unicorn.
ZOE: But it's there!
DOCTOR: No! The Minotaur is a mythical beast. Say it.
ZOE: The Minotaur is a mythical beast. It doesn't exist.
(The roaring stops.)
ZOE: It's gone.
DOCTOR: Yes. Yes, I'm afraid we made it too difficult for it to stay. Come on, let's go and find Jamie.

[Tunnels]

ZOE: I think this is the place.
DOCTOR: Yes. There's no sign of him. I'm sure he wouldn't have gone off without
(Zoe picks up the jacket.)
DOCTOR: What's that?
ZOE: His jacket.
DOCTOR: Well, he must be around here somewhere.
ZOE: Jamie! Who's that?
DOCTOR: Oh. Oh, my dear sir.
GULLIVER: Your servant, sir.
DOCTOR: You have a knack of turning up unexpectedly.
ZOE: Have you seen Jamie?
GULLIVER: I walked alone, but saw no sign of any inhabitants.
ZOE: Are you absolutely positive?
GULLIVER: I would not impose any falsities upon you. I adhere strictly to truth.
DOCTOR: Of course. This, er, this person who controls this place, the Master? 
GULLIVER: The Master, yes.
DOCTOR: Have you seen him?
GULLIVER: Upon occasion he has been pleased to grant me an audience.
DOCTOR: Where might I find him?
GULLIVER: The Master's palace is no ordinary edifice, but a citadel, a walled town at the top of a hill or cliff, which is reckoned the highest in the kingdom.
DOCTOR: Yes, now I think I understand. May I ask, sir, where you come from? Would it not be Nottingham?
GULLIVER: My father had a small estate in Nottingham, sir. I was the third of five sons. He sent me to Emmanuel College in Cambridge at fourteen years old, where I applied myself close to my studies, learning navigation and other parts of the mathematics
DOCTOR: Useful for those who intend to travel
DOCTOR + GULLIVER: As I always believed it would someday or other, my fortune to do.
DOCTOR: Now I know who you are, sir. Your name is Lemuel Gulliver.
GULLIVER: Your servant.
ZOE: Gulliver?
DOCTOR: Yes, yes. Oh, I'm looking forward to a long talk with you one of these days.
GULLIVER: I should like that above all things, but it would not be proper at this juncture to trouble you with the particulars of my adventures.
DOCTOR: Oh, I wouldn't dream of detaining you.
GULLIVER: Having been condemned by nature and fortune to a restless and active life, I must take my leave of you. Farewell.
DOCTOR: Farewell.
(Gulliver leaves.)
ZOE: Why does he talk in such an extraordinary way?
DOCTOR: Well, he can only speak the words that Dean Swift gave him to say.
ZOE: But that's ridiculous. I mean, there never was such a person as Gulliver. He's a fictional character.
DOCTOR: Of course he is. Don't you understand? This world that we've tumbled into is a world of fiction. Unicorns, minotaur, Gulliver's travels, they're all alive here.
ZOE: Then what are we doing here? What do they want with us?
DOCTOR: I'm not sure I understand that yet. Come along, let's find Jamie. You'd better put this on.
(The Doctor puts Jamie's jacket round Zoe's shoulders.)

[Cliff face]

(Jamie runs out of a cave into the open air with birdsong and sunlight. The clockwork soldier is still following so Jamie starts to scramble up the cliff where it cannot follow. After much effort he reaches a ledge part way up.)
JAMIE: Oh, no. I'd need to be a human fly to get up that lot. I can't go back though. What I really need is a
(A long plaited rope is thrown down to him.)
JAMIE: Who says wishes don't come true.
(The rope comes out of a Norman-style window in a round keep at the top of the cliff. As Jamie climbs the soldier gives up and leaves.)

[Outside the window]

JAMIE: So far, so good. Some sort of castle. Well, Jamie, now where? Well, you don't have much choice, do you?
(Jamie pulls on the rope. A blonde girl in mediaeval dress comes to the window.)
RAPUNZEL: Ouch! I suppose you know that hurts.
JAMIE: You mean, this is your hair?
RAPUNZEL: Of course. I don't object to people climbing it. I'm quite used to it, actually. But you would keep tugging so.
JAMIE: Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
RAPUNZEL: Are you a Prince?
JAMIE: No. Why?
RAPUNZEL: You're supposed to be. I'm a princess, but I suppose you knew that. My name is Rapunzel. You're not a woodcutter's son, by any chance?
JAMIE: No, I'm the son of a piper.
RAPUNZEL: Oh, how very disappointing. Well, in that case I think you'd better go. Goodbye.
JAMIE: Your highness, wait.
RAPUNZEL: Well?
JAMIE: I can't go back there, it's a sheer drop, and well, I can't just stand out here. I'll have to climb though the window.
RAPUNZEL: Oh. Well, I don't know if that will be allowed.
JAMIE: Well, I won't stay long. Just passing through, you might say. Och, please.
RAPUNZEL: It's a great pity you're not a prince. You'd have made rather a good one. Well, I suppose you'd better come inside. For goodness sake be quiet.

[Citadel]

(Jamie climbs into a white room. Rapunzel has vanished.)
JAMIE: Rapunzel? Your highness, where have you gone? Don't be silly, I'm not going.
(Jamie walks down a some steps. There are strange metal devices sticking out of the wall.)
JAMIE: Hey, this doesn't look like the inside of a princess's castle to me.
(In the lower room there are futuristic devices and a large oval screen. Jamie switches it on and the first page of Treasure Island appears. He turns it off, then accidentally switches on another machine.)
FEMALE: 'Christmas won't be Christmas without presents,' grumbled Jo, lying on the rug. 'It's so dreadful to be poor,' sighed Meg, looking down at her old robe.
(Jamie switches off Little Women and goes over to a wall with labelled flashing lights. Vanity Fair, Don Quixote, The Pit and the Pendulum, Swallows and Amazons. A tickertape machine labelled 'Work in Progress' rattles. Jamie reads it.)
JAMIE: The Doctor and Zoe, unable to find their companion in the labyrinth, decide to return to the cave in search of him, where a new terror awaited them.

[Labyrinth centre]

DOCTOR: I imagine there must be at least one more test. I wonder what it'll be?
ZOE: I believe you're actually beginning to enjoy all this. That wasn't there before, was it? 
(That is a life-sized statue of a woman with large blank eyes, snakes around her neck and snakes for hair.)
DOCTOR: A statue.
ZOE: Like the unicorn.
DOCTOR: Yes, only the unicorn was alive first and then became a statue. Only this time
ZOE: What?
DOCTOR: Have a care, Zoe. I have a feeling the situation is going to be reversed.
ZOE: It is coming to life!
(The statue's snake-hair begins to hiss and writhe.)
DOCTOR: Medusa!

[Citadel]

(We pan up from the label 'Legends of Ancient Greece'. Jamie is still reading from the ticker-tape machine.)
JAMIE: The Doctor and Zoe were face to face with Medusa. One glance from her eyes would turn them to stone!

[Labyrinth centre]

(The Doctor and Zoe are trying not to look at Medusa as she approaches them.)
DOCTOR: Now, we know what we have to do, Zoe.
ZOE: Yes. She's moving. She's going to look at us.
DOCTOR: Zoe, we have to say Medusa doesn't exist.
ZOE: But she does!
DOCTOR: Zoe, Medusa is a myth. If you believe it her, she can turn us both to stone. Now, Zoe, say it. The Medusa is a myth. Say it!
(Medusa's outstretched hand touches Zoe's face.)
ZOE: But she's alive!
DOCTOR: No!
ZOE: She's real
DOCTOR: No, don't look in her eyes. Don't look!

Episode Four

[Labyrinth centre]

DOCTOR: The Medusa does not exist. You must believe that.
ZOE: I can feel her fingertips, like ice.
DOCTOR: No, no, that's marble. Think of her as a marble statue. A legend.
ZOE: But she's real. I've got to look at her, I've got to.

[Citadel]

JAMIE: (reading) One glance from her eyes would turn them to stone, but all was not yet lost. Suddenly the Doctor found a sword at his feet, picked it up, and with one stroke slew the monster.

[Labyrinth centre]

DOCTOR: A sword!
ZOE: Well, that's it. You're meant to use the sword like Perseus.
DOCTOR: Maybe it's another trap?
ZOE: Oh, Doctor, please!
DOCTOR: No. How can I kill something that doesn't exist?
(The Doctor drops the sword.)
ZOE: I've got to open my eyes. I've got to see.
DOCTOR: No, wait. Perseus, of course. A mirror. There. Look at her reflection in the mirror. Look. Can you see her? 
ZOE: Yes.
DOCTOR: This is how Perseus escaped. He looked at her reflection in his polished shield. There's no danger in the reflection.
(Medusa's snakes stop writhing and hissing.)
DOCTOR: It's safe now. You can look now. The statue has become a statue again.

[Citadel]

JAMIE: (reading) Cancel. Cancel. Cancel. The Doctor test, report failure. Failure?
(Jamie walks away past the window he came in through towards another doorway. There he breaks a light beam and an alarm sounds, making him jump back. A grill comes down across the window. He returns to the story room.)
MASTER [OC]: Attention! Attention! There is a stranger inside the building. Call out the search party.
(Gulliver enters.)
GULLIVER: Ah, the young traveller. I had wondered as much.
JAMIE: Have you been sent to find me?
GULLIVER: His companions were in a state of some anxiety concerning his present whereabouts.
JAMIE: Companions! Zoe and the Doctor, where are they?
GULLIVER: Safe and well.
JAMIE: You've actually spoken to them?
GULLIVER: The gentlemen desired I let him know what place I came from and whither I was bound.
JAMIE: Oh. What's that?
(A mechanical buzzing noise.)
GULLIVER: I heard nothing.
JAMIE: Probably that search party.
GULLIVER: By the laws of this kingdom, every chamber must be searched.
JAMIE: If they find me, I'm done for.
GULLIVER: You should be put to death.
(Jamie leans against the wall and the panel slides aside, tumbling him back into a recess.)
JAMIE: What about you?
GULLIVER: I shall come to no harm.
JAMIE: If you give me away this time, I'm finished.
(Jamie goes into the recess and slides the panel back. Gulliver draws his sword and has his flintlock pistol ready.)
GULLIVER: I was ready with the hazard of my life to defend this person.
(Three White Robots come down the steps. They walk past Gulliver, who does not see them, and through a panel at the far end of the room. Jamie comes out.)
JAMIE: Where've they gone?
GULLIVER: Hmm?
JAMIE: The white robots?
GULLIVER: Young sir, I do assure you there were no such persons here.
JAMIE: Aye, well, robots or not, I'm getting out of this place.
(Jamie tries to force the grill at the window.)
GULLIVER: You desire your liberty.
JAMIE: Yes. I mean, I got in all right. The thing is, how do I get out?
GULLIVER: After some consideration.
JAMIE: Yes?
GULLIVER: I was of the opinion that
JAMIE: Go on, go on.
GULLIVER: This was altogether impossible.

[Cliff face]

(There is a full Disney-style castle on a mountaintop.)
DOCTOR: Oh yes, that's the citadel all right. The question is, how do we get up there.
ZOE: It's an awful long way to climb.
DOCTOR: Zoe, duck!
(They hide and something makes a rock behind them go bang.)
ZOE: The Karkus.
(A comic-book character in black tights and exaggerated torso and arm muscles. He wears a mask and cape, is holding a ray gun, and speaks with a Teutonic accent.)
KARKUS: You are my prisoners.
ZOE: It's the Karkus.
DOCTOR: What?
KARKUS: You will come out and put ze hand above ze head.
ZOE: You know. He's fictional, too.
KARKUS: Obey, or I fire.
(The Doctor and Zoe raise their hands.)
DOCTOR: What, with that thing? What sort of a gun is that?
ZOE: It's an anti-molecular ray disintegrator.
DOCTOR: Rubbish. Such a weapon is scientifically impossible. It doesn't exist.
(The ray gun vanishes and Karkus snarls.)
DOCTOR: Well, that seems to take care of that, doesn't it.
KARKUS: I shall tear you limb from limb.
ZOE: Oh, Doctor, be careful. He could do it, you know. The Karkus has super-human strength.
KARKUS: You will be minced meats.
ZOE: Quickly, Doctor, say it. You know he's a fictional character.
DOCTOR: But I don't. I've never heard of him.
(The Karkus swings at the Doctor, who ducks.)
DOCTOR: Oh Zoe, run!
(Karkus lifts Zoe out of the way.)
DOCTOR: What are you doing? No, please, I'm sure we can talk this over.
(Zoe grabs Karkus' right hand and throws him.)
DOCTOR: Zoe.
ZOE: Lesson seventeen.
DOCTOR: Be careful.
ZOE: Oh dear.
(Again Zoe ducks under Karkus' arm, grabs it and throws him.)
ZOE: Lesson thirty two.
(The Doctor tries to throw the character too, but fails. Zoe kicks the Karkus' bottom and he nearly falls on the Doctor.)
DOCTOR: Don't do anything rash.
(Zoe repeatedly throws Karkus until she finally gets him on the ground in a headlock.)
KARKUS: Mercy.
ZOE: You'd better submit, you know.
KARKUS: Have mercy.
ZOE: Your neck can only take a certain amount of pressure. Do you submit?
KARKUS: I submit.
ZOE: That's better.
KARKUS: I am your slave. Command me.
ZOE: Do you know the way to the Citadel?
KARKUS: I know it.
DOCTOR: Well, well take us there, there's a good chap.
(Zoe snaps her fingers.)
KARKUS: I obey.
ZOE: We all follow his adventures in the strip sections of the hourly telepress.
DOCTOR: The strip? Oh, a strip cartoon of the year two thousand?
ZOE: You've been in the year two thousand, haven't you?
DOCTOR: Yes, but I hardly had time to follow the strip cartoons.
ZOE: Well, you better start following this one. He's half way up that cliff. Come on.

[Outside the Citadel]

(A sturdy wooden door with a small grille in the centre. The Doctor is wearing Karkus' cape.)
DOCTOR: Well thank you, thank you, Mister. What did you say his name was?
ZOE: K A R K U S.
DOCTOR: Ah yes, Mister Karkus. Thank you.
ZOE: We won't be needing you any longer. Run along.
KARKUS: I obey.
(The Karkus leaves.)
DOCTOR: Come along.
ZOE: We can't just ring the bell and ask to go in.
DOCTOR: Why not? It's the usual way.
ZOE: Oh, Doctor, are you sure this is a good idea?
(The panel behind the grille slides open but we can only see blackness inside.)
MASTER [OC]: State your name and attribution.
(The Doctor hides Zoe under the cape.)
DOCTOR: I am ze Karkus.
MASTER [OC]: And your attribution?
ZOE: What's that?
DOCTOR: Shush. Year two thousand, comic strip creation, the hourly telepress.
MASTER [OC]: Authenticated. You may enter.

[Citadel]

(Jamie is checking the door the White Robots went through.)
JAMIE: Come on, now. You heard them giving orders to look for me. Why do you suppose that happened?
GULLIVER: I conjecture that these were orders given by some person in authority.
JAMIE: The Master?
GULLIVER: It is possible.
JAMIE: Oh, now I'm getting somewhere. Now listen, if there aren't any robots, who do you think was carrying out those orders? I mean, who was I hiding from?
GULLIVER: Why, sir, the Yahoos.
JAMIE: Who's the Yahoos?
GULLIVER: A cursed race of inferior creatures. I never beheld so disagreeable an animal.
JAMIE: Well, I haven't seen any Yahoos. You haven't seen any robots. A fine pickle we're all in.
ZOE: Jamie!
DOCTOR: What happened?
JAMIE: No! No! Stay where you are!
(The Doctor and Zoe stop before they break the beam in the doorway, which is about eighteen inches off the ground.)
JAMIE: There's an electrical gadget round here somewhere which sets off an alarm gong. I walked through it, the gong went off and they set a gang of robots after me.
ZOE: Robots? You mean the same ones that we saw before?
JAMIE: Aye, the big white ones, aye.
ZOE: Oh Doctor, did you hear that?
DOCTOR: Yes, I thought they'd turn up sooner or later. Yes, it's a simple photoelectric cell. We just. I'd better lift you over it.
JAMIE: Be careful.
DOCTOR: There we are.
(The Doctor puts Zoe down the other side of the arch then jumps over the beam.)
DOCTOR: Oh, my word.
(Zoe gives Jamie his jacket and he puts it on.)
ZOE: Oh Jamie, what happened to you when you left the tunnel?
JAMIE: I was chased by one of those tin soldiers. Luckily, I climbed up the cliff up here. Hey, the thing is, how do we get out?
DOCTOR: Oh, I'm not leaving yet. I'm here on business.
ZOE: No, the Doctor's made up his mind. He's going to see the Master.
GULLIVER: This resolution perhaps may appear very bold and dangerous.
ZOE: There you are, you see?
DOCTOR: Why do you say that?
GULLIVER: I think you should not be here. The Master makes rules for the government of his Kingdom. It is unwise for you to disobey.
ZOE: So you think we shouldn't try and see the Master.
GULLIVER: If you would take my advice, swear a peace with the Master and his kingdom. Find yourselves a place to lodge, stay quietly with the expectation that things would mend.
DOCTOR: Yes. Well, I see. I'll think it over very carefully.
GULLIVER: Your servant. (to Zoe) Your servant.
(Gulliver leaves.)
JAMIE: You're not really going to do as he says, are you?
DOCTOR: No, of course not. I said I'd think it over. Well, I've thought it over. We're staying on and fighting on.
ZOE: But we'll be fighting on in the dark. We don't know where the next attack will come from. Medusa was bad enough.
JAMIE: Ah, Medusa. Yes, I read about that on this machine here. Wee words keep coming out of it all the time.
DOCTOR: Oh, yes?
JAMIE: Look.
DOCTOR: Let's have a look.
JAMIE: There. Look.
DOCTOR: (reads.) Cancel. Doctor test report failure. Oh, I think I'm beginning to understand.
JAMIE: Well, I wish I was.
DOCTOR: Well, when someone writes about an incident after it's happened, that is history.
JAMIE: Yes.
DOCTOR: But when the writing comes first, that's fiction. If we'd have fallen into the Master's trap, we would have become fiction.
ZOE: Oh that's horrible. Come on, let's get out of here.
DOCTOR: Zoe, where are you going?
ZOE: Before it's too late.
DOCTOR: Don't go
ZOE: It's all right
DOCTOR: No, not through there! (Zoe walks through the archway and the alarm sounds.)
JAMIE: Oh no.
MASTER [OC]: Attention. There are still strangers at large. Renew the search. The strangers must be found.
ZOE: What are we going to do?
JAMIE: I mean, that's funny. Gulliver walked through there.
DOCTOR: Gulliver's not real, we are.
ZOE: They're coming. Where can we hide?
DOCTOR: No need to hide.
ZOE: Why not? If they find us?
DOCTOR: Let them find us.
JAMIE: You mean, just stand here and wait?
DOCTOR: Yes, why not? We'll ask for an interview with the Master.
ZOE: They may not give us time to ask for anything.
JAMIE: Look!
(Three white robots have entered.)
DOCTOR: Are you looking for us by any chance? We demand an interview with the Master.
(The door Jamie was examining earlier opens.)
MASTER [OC]: How very fortunate. Do come in, Doctor. I've been expecting you. Oh, don't be alarmed. Won't you walk into my parlour? 
DOCTOR: Said the spider to the fly. Come along.

[Control room]

JAMIE: It's hard to see anything.
DOCTOR: Where are you?
MASTER: Here, patiently waiting.
(A door of hexagonal glass panels opens and Zoe, Jamie and the Doctor enter. A White Robot stands guard. The Master seats at his console, and now we see his face we can also see a large glass globe with filaments spinning behind him. The Master is an elderly bearded gentleman in velvet jacket and skull cap, wearing half-moon reading glasses. The skull cap has wires connecting it to the globe.)
MASTER: Oh Doctor, this is a great pleasure. And your two young companions. Now let me see. Oh yes, yes, yes. Zoe and Jamie. I have your dossiers here in front of me.
ZOE: You appear to be very well organised.
MASTER: Oh yes, indeed. We have to be. The running of this place requires enormous attention to detail. It's a responsible position, but very rewarding.
DOCTOR: Responsible, huh? To someone else?
MASTER: Not to someone. Another power. Higher than you could begin to imagine. Oh, I must congratulate you on the great skill in which you tackled the various stages of your examination.
DOCTOR: What is the purpose of all these tests?
MASTER: Well, do you know, when I was first brought here myself, I was as bewildered as you are.
JAMIE: Well, how long have you been here?
MASTER: I left England in the summer of nineteen twenty six. It was a very hot day, I remember. I think I must have dozed off over my desk, and when I awoke. Oh, but that' a long story. Did you ever hear of the Adventures of Captain Jack Harkaway?
(written by Frank Richards, a pseudonym of Charles Harold St. John Hamilton.)
DOCTOR: No, I can't say that I. Wait a minute, a serial in a boys' magazine? 
MASTER: The Ensign.
DOCTOR: The Ensign.
MASTER: And for twenty five years, I delivered five thousand words every week.
DOCTOR: You are a writer.
ZOE: Twenty-five years, five thousand words a week. Well, that's well over half a million words.
MASTER: Yes, yes. It was probably some kind of record. Anyway, that was why I was selected to work here.
JAMIE: And you're the one that's in charge of all of this?
MASTER: In one sense, yes.
DOCTOR: Or is all this in charge of you?
MASTER: My brain is the source of the creative power which keeps this operation going.
DOCTOR: I see. That means that you are virtually a prisoner.
MASTER: Oh, no. No, no, no.
(The globe glows.)
MASTER: You, you, you must excuse me for a moment.
(The Master writes in a large book. We see Resistance is Useless underlined at the top of the page, then Submit your will for the...) 
JAMIE: Come on, Doctor, let's get out of here.
ZOE: Yes, let's. It gives me the creeps.
DOCTOR: No, I need to find out more.
JAMIE: Well, look, you keep him talking, and Zoe and me will find another way out.
DOCTOR: Jamie, I think it will be safer if we all stick together.
(The globe stops glowing and the Master stops writing.)
MASTER: Oh, I'm so sorry to have kept you waiting. Now, where were we?
DOCTOR: You were about to answer my question. Are you a prisoner here?
MASTER: Well, no. No, I wouldn't say that. In fact, I rather like being here. I have everything I could possibly want.
(Jamie and Zoe sneak round the back of the globe.) 
MASTER: This vast library with all the known works of fiction. All the masterpieces written by Earthmen since the beginning of time.

[Library]

(Jamie and Zoe enter a room full of bookcases.)
ZOE: I don't think he noticed.
JAMIE: No. Let's try down there.

[Control room]

DOCTOR: I see, yes. And only an Earthman type creature has the power to create fiction. The power to imagine.
MASTER: Exactly. This is one field in which the intelligence I serve cannot compete. They need man, a man of boundless imagination, as a powerhouse. A lifeline, as you might say.
DOCTOR: What is this intelligence you serve, and why was I brought me here?
MASTER: Well, as you see, I'm no longer young, where as you, Doctor, are ageless. You exist outside the barriers of time and space.
DOCTOR: And you want me to
MASTER: To take over this unique situation. To take my place.
DOCTOR: I refuse!
(The globe glows and takes over the Master.)
MASTER: Refusal is impossible. You are here to serve us. There is no alternative.

[Library]

ZOE: We've got to find a way out of here.
JAMIE: There must be a door somewhere. Look, if we're going to get the Doctor away
ZOE: Jamie!
(It's a White Robot. Another one comes from behind. They try to run and a third blocks them.)
JAMIE: No. Back this way.

[Control room]

MASTER: Resistance is useless. Submit your will for the sake of the greater good. It has been decided.
DOCTOR: I refuse. I shall make that decision for myself.
(The globe stops and the Master returns to normal.)
THE MASTER: You will find there is only one decision open to you. Mission accomplished. Procedure as arranged.
DOCTOR: What does that mean?
MASTER: The latest chapter of the serial story. I'll read you the last sentence. Zoe and Jamie attempted to escape, but in making it through the library they were ambushed by a party of guards and were overpowered.
DOCTOR: Oh, no. Jamie! Zoe!
THE MASTER: Are you prepared to cooperate now? Your life in return for theirs? Is that a bargain? Look!

[Library]

(The White Robots are using their chest units on Zoe and Jamie.)
ZOE: Oh Jamie, my eyes.
JAMIE: I can't see. Where are you? Quick, back, back away. Zoe, here, Quick.
(Jamie leads Zoe between the pages of an open book. The chapter heading is 'Un Renard - Pris au piece' and it is written in French.)
JAMIE: No, it's a book. Back out again.
(The Robots close the book.)
ZOE: Push.
JAMIE: Push. Open up. It's closing. No!

[Episode Five]

[Control room]

(The Doctor has watched this on a monitor.)
DOCTOR: What have you done to them?
MASTER: They're no longer human beings, just fictional characters. Now, if you consent to take my place here, they can be released.
DOCTOR: You really would do that?
MASTER: No, my dear sir, you would. Once you have taken up your post here, it could be your first official task as the new controller.
DOCTOR: I see. How very ingenious.
MASTER: I take it then that you agree?
DOCTOR: No! My answer is still no!
MASTER: How very unfortunate.
(Two White Robots enter through the glass door, and a third from somewhere else.)
MASTER: I'm sorry to have to use violent methods, but you must submit. You have no alternative.
DOCTOR: I have yet to see a robot that can climb.
(The Doctor climbs up a bookcase.)
MASTER: You cannot escape. But we will play your game a little longer.
(The Doctor comes out of a small ornate window over a crenellation onto a battlement proper. A door creaks.)

[Battlement]

ZOE: Doctor.
DOCTOR: Oh, Zoe! Jamie!
JAMIE: Oh, am I glad to see you.
DOCTOR: The Master said you been turned into
JAMIE: Aye, where do we go from here?
ZOE: Well, back to the Tardis.
JAMIE: We can't do that. It fell apart, do you not remember?
ZOE: Oh well, it's all over now, thank goodness.
JAMIE: The Tardis broke up!
DOCTOR: Yes, you've said that, Jamie.
ZOE: I'm tired, I think I'll sit down and have a rest.
DOCTOR: Is some thing wrong, Zoe?
JAMIE: Aye, well, where do we go from here?
ZOE: Back to the Tardis.
JAMIE: We can't do that. It broke up. Do you not remember?
DOCTOR: But you keep saying the same things.
(The Doctor snaps his fingers in front of Jamie.)
JAMIE: The Tardis broke up.
DOCTOR: Then it's true. They're not real. They've been turned into fiction.
(A little way along the battlement -)
DOCTOR: Well, what's this?
(It's a skylight. The Doctor cleans the glass and looks straight down onto a typewriter, and the words 'They were ambushed by a party of white robots and overpowered.)
DOCTOR: The master tape! I wonder. Perhaps if I were to create a few immortal words of fiction of my own. Yes, it's worth trying.
(The Doctor can't open the skylight.)
DOCTOR: Oh, what I need is the strength of Karkus!
KARKUS: I am at your command.
DOCTOR: Oh thank you, my dear sir. Perhaps you could release this for me.
(The Karkus lifts out the skylight frame.)
KARKUS: Zis is want you want?
DOCTOR: Well no, I don't actually want it. You see, I want to get down here somehow.
KARKUS: Ah. Wait.
DOCTOR: Oh, thank you.
(The Karkus leaves with the frame.)
DOCTOR: Jamie. Jamie, Zoe. You are being controlled! Jamie, listen. Listen! Oh, it's no use.
KARKUS: A rope.
DOCTOR: Oh, thank you.
RAPUNZEL: Ouch. Careful.
DOCTOR: Oh! Oh yes, of course, you are the Princess Rapunzel.
RAPUNZEL: Are you a prince?
DOCTOR: No. No, I'm afraid not, but would you mind if I used your hair to get down there.
RAPUNZEL: No, of course not. Everybody else uses it, so I don't see why you shouldn't.
DOCTOR: Thank you very much. Now then, where can we attach the?
(The Karkus holds the plait.)
DOCTOR: Ah yes, of course.

[Tape room]

(The Doctor climbs down Rapunzel's plait into a room very similar to the one with the tickertape machine. He goes to the machine and starts typing.)

[Control room]

The Master watches him on a monitor. We see the words 'for their escape. Enemy had finally been defeated)
MASTER: Yes, yes. Go on.

[Tape room]

DOCTOR: "The enemy had been finally defeated by the Doctor. No, no, I can't say that. If I say that. I nearly fell for it, didn't I. Another two seconds and I should have turned myself into fiction!
(A clockwork soldier is standing near him.)

[Control room]

(The Master watches as the Doctor climbs back up Rapunzel's plait.)
MASTER: Halt! Now we shall play games no longer.

[Battlements]

DOCTOR: I'm very obliged to you both.
RAPUNZEL: Always happy to be of assistance.
DOCTOR: Jamie and Zoe. I left them here. Where are they? Jamie! Zoe!
(Gulliver and the 'Treasure Seekers' children enter.)
GULLIVER: They had to make a departure. It was necessary.
OSWALD: They'll be back soon.
DORA: What's been happening?
HORACE: You must have some idea? 
ALICE: Is it a game? 
CHILDREN: Yes. What's going on?
DOCTOR: Please, please. I must think. There must be some way out of this. There's just got to be.

[Control room]

(The Master reads what he has just written.)
MASTER: Jamie and Zoe realised at last that the Doctor was in fact the most monstrous and cunning villain. There was no punishment too severe for the crimes that he had committed.
(Jamie and Zoe enter with two White Robots.)
MASTER: Splendid. Splendid. Come closer, my children.
JAMIE: You sent for us, Master?
MASTER: Now you know what your friend the Doctor is really like, don't you.
ZOE: He is the most monstrous and cunning villain.
JAMIE: No punishment is too severe for the crimes he has committed.
MASTER: Word perfect. That is why I have sent for you both at this moment of crisis. We need your help.
ZOE: Tell us what we must do.
MASTER: Well

[Battlements]

(The smaller children are playing Ring a Rosie.)
CHILDREN: A pocket full of posies. A-tishoo, a-tishoo, we all fall down.
GULLIVER: I understand, sir, that you are in an unhappy situation.
RAPUNZEL: Isn't there anything we can do to help?
DOCTOR: I only wish there was.
DORA: Look!
OSWALD: What's that?
DICKY: I never saw it before.
DOCTOR: The Tardis, safe and sound, by all that's wonderful.
(Jamie comes out.)
JAMIE: Doctor, are you ready?
(Zoe come out.)
ZOE: The time has come.
DOCTOR: The time?
ZOE: To leave.
DOCTOR: But how did you find the Tardis?
JAMIE: Oh, we'll explain all that later.
ZOE: Come on, we must get away.
DOCTOR: Yes! Yes of course we must. Just as I was thinking that all was over.
ZOE: Oh, no.
(Jamie pushes the Doctor into the Tardis and locks the door.)
JAMIE: It's not over yet, Doctor.
ZOE: Not yet.
DOCTOR [OC]: Oh, Jamie! Zoe!
(The Tardis is a cardboard cutout, which falls to reveal the Doctor trapped inside a plastic cube. The children laugh.)
DOCTOR: What's happening?
(The cube and Doctor disappear.)

[Control room]

MASTER: The children obeyed perfectly. Their mission is completed.
(The Doctor is in a transparent panel with a device over his head, with similar features to the robot's chest panels.)
MASTER: And now perhaps we can get down to business. As you refused to take over my post at the controls, we have been forced to incorporate you into the computer itself.
DOCTOR: To what purpose?
MASTER: To bring the whole planet Earth under our control.
DOCTOR: And it's people?
MASTER: We have no wish to destroy them. Merely adjust their minds to suit our purpose.
DOCTOR: Sausages. Man will just become like a string of sausages, all the same.
MASTER: Man will simply vanish from the Earth and reappear here.
DOCTOR: Leaving the Earth undamaged and uninhabited for you to take over.
MASTER: Precisely.
DOCTOR: If I cooperate.
MASTER: You have no alternative. You are part of the Master Brain.
DOCTOR: So the computer feeds off my thoughts, does it?
MASTER: Correct.
DOCTOR: Then it will create what I think.
MASTER: Oh, no. No, no, no, no. You're now under the control of the Master Brain.
DOCTOR: Are you so sure? You couldn't control my mind before, and you certainly can't control it now.
MASTER: Submit!
DOCTOR: No! You've given me equal power. It's now a battle of wits between me and you.
(The Doctor concentrates hard.)
MASTER: Oh, no. No, no! Stop! Stop!
DOCTOR: Jamie, Zoe, can you hear me? Think for yourselves. Don't be afraid. You can open the book. Go on, you can do it.
MASTER: Oh, oh dear. This is against everything we ever worked for. Warning! Warning! Emergency Action. Emergency! Emergency!
DOCTOR: Don't worry about fiction. Hang on to real life. You've got to get out.
MASTER: Calling White Robots. Guards will enter the control centre. The Master Brain must be protected.

[Battlements]

OSWALD: What is it?
DORA: What are you saying?
HORACE: Is it a game?
GULLIVER: We are no longer in the same service.
RAPUNZEL: You're going away from us.
(Jamie and Zoe walk slowly away.)

[Book]

JAMIE: Push, Zoe. Push hard. We will get out.

[Control room]

(The Master watches Jamie and Zoe push the pages apart.)
MASTER: Soldiers. To the roof, immediately.
DOCTOR: Jamie, Zoe, concentrate. You've got to get out of there. Now push. Harder! Harder!
(The monitor shows Jamie and Zoe leave the book, then it goes blank.)
DOCTOR: Splendid, splendid.
MASTER: Soldiers, forward. Seize them, destroy them.
DOCTOR: No! Jamie, Zoe, run!

[Battlements]

(Clockwork soldiers approach.)
JAMIE: Back, Zoe.
ZOE: Can't you help us?
GULLIVER: We obey our creator. That is all that is expected of any character, unless the Master bids us otherwise.

[Control room]

MASTER: And now Doctor, obey me.
DOCTOR: No! Suddenly, the Karkus came to their rescue!

[Battlements]

KARKUS: I am at you command.
DOCTOR [OC]: He raised his anti-molecular disintegrator gun and destroyed the soldiers.
(Which he does.)

[Control room]

MASTER: No! But the Karkus realised his mistake and turned back to face his real enemies, Jamie and Zoe.

[Battlements]

JAMIE: What's he doing? Duck, Zoe!

[Control room]

MASTER: With Jamie and Zoe fixed firmly in his sights, the Karkus pressed the trigger of his gun.
DOCTOR: But all the power had been used up on the soldiers and it was useless. Oh, you'll have to do better than that.
MASTER: Suddenly a swashbuckling figure appeared. Poet and swordsman,

[Battlements]

MASTER [OC]: The famous Cyrano de Bergerac. Remorselessly, Cyrano advanced on those that had dared poke fun at his nose.

[Control room]

DOCTOR: But wait.

[Battlements]

DOCTOR [OC]: He found himself face to face with the fearless musketeer and fearless swordsman D'Artagnan.
(The swordfight begins, with stirring background music. They are evenly matched.)

[Control room]

DOCTOR: Jamie, Zoe, get away from there.

[Battlements]

JAMIE: Come on, Zoe. Princess Rapunzel, can we borrow you hair again?
RAPUNZEL: Of course.
ZOE: Why are we going down there?
JAMIE: We've got to find the Doctor. Come on.

[Control room]

MASTER: Stop them. Substitute cutlass for rapier. Cancel

[Battlements]

MASTER [OC]: Cancel Cyrano. Blackbeard the pirate.
(D'Artangan is disarmed by the bigger weapon.)
DOCTOR [OC]: Cancel D'Artagnan. Substitute Sir Lancelot in full armour.
(Blackbeard takes a swing at the mounted knight's sword then falls to his knees begging for mercy.)

[Tape room]

JAMIE: This way.

[Control room]

(The Master has a conversation with the controlling computer.)
MASTER: The Doctor is expendable. Expendable. He will be destroyed. Oh, no, no. He's the only person. There's nobody else. I can't go on for ever. Oh, please, please give me another chance. You have failed. The Master Brain must be protected against overloading. Robot force will deal with him.
(Three White Robots appear.)
MASTER: Change robot weapon to destructor beam.
(The Robot's chest units opens to reveal the weapon. Jamie and Zoe hide behind the globe.)
MASTER: Remove him.
DOCTOR: Oh. Oh my goodness. As the White Robots advanced on the Doc. No, I can't say that. I can't say that.
MASTER: No, Doctor, you can't save yourself this time. Bring him out.
(The White Robots close in on the Doctor. One reaches out for him. Meanwhile, crouched behind the Master Brain, Jamie and Zoe watch on.) JAMIE: Zoe, what can we do? We cant fight those brutes.
ZOE: No, Jamie, but the computer, it must control everything here, the robots included. And the Master said it must be protected against overloading.
(There are now four White Robots and the Doctor is free of the head device. )
MASTER: It is a pity that we have to destroy such an intelligent mind as yours, Doctor, but you leave us no alternative. Disintegrate.
(As the White Robots charge up their weapons, Zoe goes to a console and pushes every button. Jamie joins in. On the monitor the unicorn and the Medusa appear.)
MASTER: Stop them. They will overload the Master Brain. Destroy them! Destroy!
(The robots are frozen so the Doctor runs to the Master and pulls the connections from his skull cap. The old man collapses.)
(The White Robots advance.)
JAMIE: Zoe, let's get out of here and. Duck!
(The Robots fire, hitting the computer console which bursts into flames.)
DOCTOR: Zoe! Jamie! Oh my goodness.
ZOE: Shouldn't we get out of here?
DOCTOR: Yes. Come on, Jamie, give me hand with him.
JAMIE: What do you want to bring him for?
DOCTOR: Don't argue, Jamie. Give me hand.
(The robots carry out their last instruction, to destroy, as Jamie and the Doctor carry the Master out.)

[Blackness]

JAMIE: I don't see why we had to bring him. He's the one that's caused all this trouble.
DOCTOR: Are you all right, sir?
MASTER: I'm not altogether sure where I am. Is this the office of the Ensign magazine?
DOCTOR: No, you were kidnapped, just like we were. They've been using your mind.
ZOE: Well, what happens to us now?
DOCTOR: That depends how efficient the White Robots are. Their last order was to destroy. Let's just hope they're destroying one another.
ZOE: Well, what about the Karkus and Gulliver and all our friends out there?
DOCTOR: You can't blow up a fictional character, Zoe.
JAMIE: Aye, but what about us though?
DOCTOR: Well, we'll just have to hope that the destruction of the computer returns us all to reality. And you, my dear sir.
MASTER: Oh, do you mean I'm going home?
DOCTOR: Well, I hope so.
ZOE: But surely it could just as well send us into oblivion.
JAMIE: You mean we could vanish forever?
DOCTOR: Well, we shall soon know. Hang on! Here it comes.
(The Doctor, Jamie, Zoe and the Master disappear as the sound of explosions continues. We see the Tardis reassemble itself.)

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