(The tunnel is full of rubbish. Two workers in hazmat suits are looking around.)
WORKER: Some people. They just don’t care what they chuck down here.
(One of the workers activates a machine and releases a swarm of blackness onto the rubbish. Darius watches from a hiding spot as the rubbish is devoured and dispersed.)
DARIUS: Cool.
(Darius knocks something over. He runs away.)
WORKER: Hey! Hey! This is a restricted area!
(The workers look at each other and shake their heads before returning to work. One picks up a can being devoured and is devoured himself despite the other’s attempts to suck the blackness back up into the machine.)

[The laboratory]

(Gryffen is examining a sample, watching by Starkey and K9.)
GRYFFEN: Completely useless.
STARKEY: You can always do it again.
GRYFFEN: What? And produce another worthless result?
STARKEY: Maybe K9 could help.
K9: Empiricism and experimentation is my middle name.
STARKEY: That’s two middle names.
GRYFFEN: I don’t need help. I need hygiene. This experiment failed because of contamination.
K9: Elementary error, I’m afraid.
GRYFFEN: K9, I’d like to see you produce a perfectly hygienic environment with three teenagers and a dog running around. I traced the contamination to the chess room. Sodium bisulphate carbonic cluster. Pepperoni pizza.
STARKEY: Don’t you pay Darius to tidy up?
GRYFFEN: Oh, yes, yes. He promised to clean up the whole place today.
STARKEY: And? Go figure.

[Chess room]

(The chess room is a mess. Starkey and K9 enter.)
K9: A sterile environment is difficult to maintain.
STARKEY: You’re telling me.
K9: Without the use of toxic compounds that destroy airborne dust particles, 75% of which are dead human skin cells.
STARKEY: It’s much easier talking about it than fixing it.
K9: This unit is not equipped for household duties.
STARKEY: This unit is waiting for Darius.

[Tunnels]

(Darius returns to the tunnel.)
DARIUS: Hey? Is anybody there? (He finds an empty hazmat suit.) Well, this is going to be easier than expected. Yoink! (Darius steals the workers’ device.) Just the job for the housework.

[Department camo]

JUNE: So, what went wrong?
WORKER: I suspect aliens.
JUNE: Alien infiltration?
WORKER: I’ve used this technology before, but nothing like this has ever happened.
JUNE: Could it have just been a malfunction?
WORKER: They’re harmless microbes! Like yeast. And they’ve turned into bloodthirsty flesh-eaters.

[The garage]

(Darius gets out of Mariah and takes the machine from the boot.)

[The main hall]

(Darius enters through the front door, carrying the machine. He crosses the hall.)

[The chess room]

(Darius enters the chess room. He puts the machine down.)
DARIUS: There we go. (He turns the machine on and shocks his finger.) Well, here goes nothing. (He fires the microbes over the room. They devour all the rubbish.)

[Tunnels]

(The worker shows June to the tunnel.)
WORKER: It was just here! And we were working in there.
JUNE: So, who could have taken it?
WORKER: I don’t know.
(June uses a device to scan the empty hazmat suit.)
JUNE: Well, you were right to bring this to my attention. I’m getting something. Could be an alien trace. Something not known on this planet.
(Drake enters.)
DRAKE: Where is the Imploder?
WORKER: It’s gone, sir.
DRAKE: Yes, I realised that.
(Drake pins the worker to the wall.)
DRAKE: Where?
WORKER: Please, sir. I don’t know. Honest!
JUNE: Inspector! The man is obviously scared out of his wits.
(Drake releases his grip on the worker.)
DRAKE: Can I ask what you are doing here?
JUNE: I may well ask you the same question. Isn’t this a city sanitation issue?
DRAKE: The disappearance of state property is a very serious matter.
JUNE: And another question, if I may. How did you hear about this so quickly?
DRAKE: I am eternally vigilant.

[The chess room]

(Darius is sleeping on a chaise longue whilst the microbes devour the rubbish. He wakes up just as they are approaching him.)
DARIUS: (unclear) get back in your little box.
(He uses the machine to suck the microbes back up.)

[The main hall]

(Starkey opens the front door. Jorjie enters.)
JORJIE: You mean you’ve got me here just to help you clean up?
STARKEY: We love your company.
JORJIE: And?
K9: Your conversation.
JORJIE: And?
STARKEY: Your sunny smile.
JORJIE: And you want me to help you clean up.
STARKEY: With the three of us doing it, it should only take a minute.

[The chess room]

(Starkey, Jorjie and K9 enter. It is perfectly tidy. Darius is stood by the doorway to the laboratory.)
JORJIE: So, it was my sunny smile you wanted me for.
STARKEY: I’m stunned.
DARIUS: Oh, so you noticed the difference.
STARKEY: How did you do it?
DARIUS: Elbow grease. It’s old-fashioned, I know, but it’s efficient.
K9: Something is not quite right here.
JORJIE: You can say that again.
K9: Something is not quite right here.
STARKEY: It’s like nobody has ever lived here.
DARIUS: I really think you should sling me a few creds for all this hard work.
STARKEY: And you cleaned my clothes as well?
DARIUS: Dirty work, but somebody’s got to do it. (There is a fart-like sound.) Ah, come on, K9. Control yourself.
K9: It wasn’t me, as well you know.
(Starkey notices something under a red sheet.)
STARKEY: What’s that?
DARIUS: What?
JORJIE: That. That thing under here.
(Jorjie removes the sheet. The machine is underneath.)
DARIUS: Oh, that.
K9: Yes, that. (He scans the machine.) This vessel is full of an unstable cross-species.
STARKEY: Darius, what is this thing?
K9: My analysis suggests ordinary yeast cells have been spliced with something more sinister.
DARIUS: Don’t overcomplicate things, K9. It’s like a vacuum cleaner.
K9: This unit detects extreme terminological inexactitude on your part.
DARIUS: What’s that mean?
JORJIE: It means you’re lying.
DARIUS: Right.
K9: My advice: remove this object from the house.
DARIUS: Hey, just a minute. This could be a nice little earner, yeah?
K9: A nice little earner or a nice little killer.
DARIUS: You’re such a panic artist, K9. The microbes are like a very efficient cleaning liquid. (K9 beeps.) What are you doing now, K9? You’re always spoiling everything.
K9: I have scanned this room and there is not one living thing left in it. Not one ant, not one spider, not one moth, nothing.
STARKEY: Where did you buy it, Darius?
DARIUS: Buy it?

[Department camo]

DRAKE: I did not want you talking to anybody.
WORKER: But… Inspector Turner asked…
DRAKE: Especially her.
WORKER: Sir? I’m afraid something’s changed in the technology and it’s going to really harm whoever’s got it.
DRAKE: And why should we care about them? They are criminals. They deserve to have their bones picked white.

[The main hall]

(Starkey is carrying the machine out of the chess room.)
JORJIE: Darius, you need to get this back where you found it.
DARIUS: I’ve got a window of commercial opportunity here.
K9: What of everything I said did you not understand? Whatever is inside this thing is an unstoppable lifeform that could get out of control.
DARIUS: Finder’s keepers.
STARKEY: I don’t get you sometimes.
DARIUS: I’m just a businessman trying to make some creds.
JORJIE: It can’t stay here.
K9: Where did you pick it up?
DARIUS: Can’t remember.
JORJIE: Darius!
DARIUS: NE12, near the Northern Inceptor Tunnel.
STARKEY: So, we need to get it back there.
DARIUS: We? No, you guys have to. You’re on your own.
JORJIE: Darius, you created this problem. You have to help fix it.
DARIUS: Problem? This is a genius household appliance.
K9: So, if you didn’t buy it, I presume you stole it.
DARIUS: Stole? That’s such a harsh word.
(Gryffen enters. He wanders into the chess room.)
K9: When you stole it, nothing strange happened?
DARIUS: Strange? What do you mean “strange”?
STARKEY: Darius.
GRYFFEN: This is a minor miracle.
DARIUS: No, prof. That room is a major miracle.
K9: Oh, professor? Could you get your atomic spectrometer to analyse exactly what’s been at work here?
GRYFFEN: Whatever it is, it’s too good to be true.

[The laboratory]

(Gryffen is performing an analysis.)
GRYFFEN: I’ve never seen anything like it. Look at this. (Darius has a look.) It’s a sample of Starkey’s shirt. The smaller microbes have been attacked by the bigger ones. The corpses are everywhere.
DARIUS: And that’s interesting because?
GRYFFEN: The weaker ones have been hunted and consumed. It’s nanotechnology I’ve never seen before.
DARIUS: Finally, scientists invent something useful. I’d have made a million creds out of this.
GRYFFEN: Darius, in the wrong hands this could be lethal.
DARIUS: Why?
GRYFFEN: Somebody’s been tampering with the gene coding.
DARIUS: Can you dumb that down a bit, prof?
GRYFFEN: These microbes have been crossed with ones from another planet. My hunch is that their vicious omnivores from Pluto.
DARIUS: So, what?
GRYFFEN: They’re only the most voracious germs in the known universe.
DARIUS: And that’s what makes them such good cleaner-uppers?
GRYFFEN: But it gets worse. All microbes are self-limiting. When their food supply runs out, they shut down. They become dormant.
DARIUS: Like when you’ve eaten too much pizza, you fall asleep.
GRYFFEN: Exactly. But their dormancy gene has been turned off, so they’re hungry all the time, which means they could literally eat the whole world.

[Department camo]

(June enters.)
JUNE: Why didn’t you tell me?
DRAKE: What?
JUNE: I’ve just received an analysis from the microbes in the Imploder.
DRAKE: That was fast.
JUNE: I’m eternally vigilant.
DRAKE: And what were the findings?
JUNE: Why don’t you tell me? Because it’s one of your projects, isn’t it? I’ve cross-checked. It’s called Black Hunger.
DRAKE: Black Hunger is just one of my many responsibilities.
JUNE: It said it was closed down because it was too unstable.
DRAKE: I’ve solved all that.
JUNE: Really?
DRAKE: The use of an electromagnetic containment device, the Imploder, allows us to store and transport the Hunger.
JUNE: But my analysis is that you’ve genetically altered the swarm to remove its self-limiting and dormancy characteristics. Why?
DRAKE: To make it more efficient.
JUNE: And what if it got out of control?
DRAKE: It can’t.
JUNE: Inspector, you don’t know whose hands it’s fallen into.
DRAKE: Don’t panic, Inspector.
JUNE: If that swarm did get out, it would be the end of your career.
DRAKE: You’d really like that, wouldn’t you?

[Tunnels]

(Starkey is pushing the Imploder. Jorjie and K9 are accompanying him.)
JORJIE: Can’t we just leave it here?
(CCPCs follow.)
CCPC: Oi!
STARKEY: Let’s go!
K9: Don’t run. We can bluff our way out.
(Starkey hides the Imploder around a corner.)
CCPC: ‘Ello, ‘ello. What’s going on here, then?
K9: I’m just taking my friends for a walk.
CCPC: You’re taking them for a walk?
K9: Kids. They just get so playful unless you tire them out.
CCPC: Maybe I’d better call this in and get further instructions.
JORJIE: Uh, no. Uh, we’ve got to keep walking otherwise…
STARKEY: Otherwise, we start jumping around and…
JORJIE: And slobbering on everybody.
STARKEY: And biting people.
(Starkey and Jorjie growl and bark.)
K9: Yes, they’re a handful, these two. Lovely coats, though, don’t you think?
(Jorjie starts barking in the CCPC’s face.)
CCPC: They are a handful. I think you should muzzle that one.
K9: Consider it done.
CCPC: Carbon lifeforms…
(The CCPC leaves. Starkey and Jorjie high five.)

[Department camo]

DRAKE: Our planet is constantly threatened from within by dissidents, antisocial undesirables and all those juveniles who want to buck the system.
JUNE: The people are not the problem. The planet is surrounded by alien menace which needs to be defeated.
DRAKE: Yes, but we must first get our hands on the alien technology to take control of the human problem first.
JUNE: So, that’s what Black Hunger is all about.
DRAKE: In part.
JUNE: And that’s why you try to hijack Fallen Alien technology. To control society.
DRAKE: Future generations will thank me.
JUNE: No. They’ll curse you for taking away their freedom to be themselves.
DRAKE: People. They need rules. What to do, when to do it, who to be. Otherwise it all becomes chaos.
JUNE: Well, I have a daughter that I don’t want growing up in your world. That’s one of the reasons I’ve stayed on in the Department. To make sure you don’t succeed.
DRAKE: I’ll see you leave before I do.
JUNE: Bring it on.
(June leaves.)

[Tunnels]

(Starkey, Jorjie and K9 have reached the area that Darius stole the Imploder from. A CCPC is patrolling.)
JORJIE: What’s he doing here?
STARKEY: Darius. There’s always more to this than he says.
JORJIE: Why can’t we just drop it here?
K9: Negative. You must return it to where Darius got it from. Maybe they haven’t noticed it’s missing.
JORJIE: But how do we get past them?
K9: Watch and learn. I guarantee that lump of wood couldn’t catch this cutting-edge unit. Whee-hee!
(K9 flies away. The CCPC follows.)
CCPC: Right, you’re on.
K9: Come and get me!
(Starkey and Jorjie start moving the Imploder, but another CCPC walks out and spots them.)
CCPC: Hey, stop. You’re nicked.
(Starkey and Jorjie quickly carry the Imploder back the way they came. The CCPC follows.)
STARKEY: Around here.
(Starkey and Jorjie hide around a corner, Jorjie holding a branch in front of them.)
JORJIE: Come on.
(They go on the move again.)
STARKEY: Watch out.
(Their way is blocked by rubbish.)
JORJIE: Backtrack?
STARKEY: No. There’s can-heads everywhere.
(Starkey puts the Imploder down.)
JORJIE: What are you doing?
STARKEY: Spring cleaning.
(Starkey activates the machines. The Black Hunger devours the rubbish.)

[Department camo]

(A CCPC is on a screen.)
CCPC: (Over communicator) Contact made with suspects you have (unclear).
DRAKE: Describe them.
CCPC: (Over communicator) Two juveniles and a robot dog.
DRAKE: Where!?
CCPC: (Over communicator) NW12.
DRAKE: Hunt them down.
CCPC: (Over communicator) Yes, sir.
DRAKE: It’s time to operate the failsafe.
TECHNICIAN: But there are CCPCs down there, sir. And two juveniles.
DRAKE: Your point being? Initiate countdown now!
TECHNICIAN: Initiated.
COMPUTER: Imploder will self-destruct in T minus five minutes and counting.

[Tunnels]

(K9 finds Starkey and Jorjie.)
STARKEY: K9!
K9: CCPCs have been eluded.
STARKEY: Genius. Let’s go.
K9: Containing the nano-swarm would be advisable, Starkey.
(The Black Hunger is on the walls and ceiling.)
CCPC: (OC) They’re up here!
STARKEY: There’s no time for that now, K9! Let’s go!

[Department camo]

COMPUTER: T minus two minutes and counting.
JUNE: Who gave the order to secure the tunnels?
DRAKE: I have located the Imploder and I need to ensure it is neutralised.
JUNE: Neutralised?
DRAKE: Thought you’d approve.
JUNE: What are you going to do?
DRAKE: A contained neutron explosion will sterilise the area.
JUNE: So, who’s down there with it?
DRAKE: The outlaws that took it, I assume.
COMPUTER: T minus one minute and counting.

[Tunnels]

K9: Starkey, I have something problematic to report. Sensors indicate that the Imploder is about to detonate.
JORJIE: What!?
K9: A neutron explosive device inside has been activated.
STARKEY: Dump it and run.
(Starkey and Jorjie put the Imploder down.)
K9: Time remaining would not permit you to reach the perimeter of the destruction zone.
STARKEY: Can we defuse it?
K9: We can try.
JORJIE: Please!

[Department camo]

JUNE: Do you know how many people are down there?
TECHNICIAN: Uh…
DRAKE: Do we care?
COMPUTER: T minutes thirty seconds and counting.

[Tunnels]

(Starkey is trying to defuse the Imploder.)
STARKEY: It’s not working.
K9: You pressed the green twice.
JORJIE: Concentrate!
STARKEY: I’m doing my best here!
K9: Input again from the beginning.

[Department camo]

JUNE: Abort this now! People will die!
COMPUTER: T minutes fifteen seconds and counting.

[Tunnels]

K9: Detonation imminent.
STARKEY: Piece of junk!
(Starkey hits the Imploder. Jorjie joins in.)
JORJIE: Take that, stupid, stupid…
(The Imploder switches off.)

[Department camo]

COMPUTER: Countdown aborted.

[Tunnels]

JORJIE: That seemed to work.
STARKEY: Low tech but effective.
K9: The Imploder is now inoperable.

[Department camo]

TECHNICIAN: Imploder’s no longer responding.
JUNE: What is the status of this swarm?
TECHNICIAN: Still at large.
JUNE: Where does that tunnel lead?
TECHNICIAN: (Unclear) An outlet into the Thames.

[The laboratory]

GRYFFEN: I estimate that after reaching the Thames, the Earth will be devoid of all life in under a week.
DARIUS: Including me?
GRYFFEN: Including everybody.

[Tunnels]

K9: Extreme caution should be exercised. The swarm is multiplying exponentially.
JORJIE: We’ve got to keep moving.
STARKEY: It’s unstoppable.
(The trio run around a corner. The Black Hunger follows. Their way is blocked by a grate.)
JORJIE: I don’t believe it!
STARKEY: The Thames is just on the other side! K9, you have to blast through!
K9: We must not let the nano-swarm escape.
STARKEY: So, what do we do?
K9: Stand aside, Starkey. This just might work.
(K9 turns around and allows the Black Hunger to cover him.)
STARKEY: K9!
(K9 fires his cannon. Light covers the entire corridor and pulls in the Black Hunger.)
K9: All done.
STARKEY: All done?
JORJIE: Did you just swallow them?
K9: Affirmative.
STARKEY: You swallowed them?
(K9 farts.)
K9: Excuse me.
(Starkey and Jorjie laugh.)

[Department camo]

TECHNICIAN: All swarm activity has ceased.
JUNE: So, what happened?
TECHNICIAN: They’ve been completely neutralised.
JUNE: You almost got us all killed.
DRAKE: Calculated risks must be taken to protect society.
JUNE: And you almost destroyed it! Which I am dutybound to point out in my report. You’ve gone too far this time. I’m going to take you down.
(Later. June faces Lomax’s silhouette behind a screen.)
LOMAX: Report.
JUNE: Operation Black Hunger was closed down because it was too dangerous. And Drake started it up again without clearance.
LOMAX: The situation was resolved.
JUNE: We must be thankful for the intervention of K9, otherwise things would have ended extremely badly.
LOMAX: Inspector Drake has been with the Department for many years now.
JUNE: This is not Drake’s first breach of orders, but it is his most serious to date.
LOMAX: And as I was about to say, effective immediately, Drake is moving on to other duties.
JUNE: Well, that is an ideal situation. Lomax, thank you for hearing me out. So, should I prepare to take over?
LOMAX: I should say “replaced”. You remember Inspector Thorne.
(Thorne appears on a screen.)
THORNE: Inspector Turner. Good to see you again. I’m looking forward to working with you.
JUNE: Thorne.

[The laboratory]