(It's busy in Sickbay, minor injuries everywhere.)
OGAWA: So why were you rolling around in Cypirion cactus?
RIKER: You know Rebecca Smith?
OGAWA: The new Tactical officer?
RIKER: We took a walk in the Arboretum. We sat down, we got
comfortable, things got a little romantic, and then I rolled over.
(Riker has wicked long spines sticking out of his back. Ogawa starts
pulling them out.)
BARCLAY: Blurred vision, dizziness, palpitations, a stinging sensation
in the lower spine. It's Terrelian Death Syndrome, isn't it.
CRUSHER: I thought we agreed you'd come to me before checking Starfleet
BARCLAY: Yes, well, this time I'm glad I did. Maybe we can stop the
cellular decay before it's too late.
CRUSHER: Reg, you don't have Terrelian Death Syndrome.
BARCLAY: You, you're sure?
CRUSHER: I'm sure.
BARCLAY: (scans himself) Then maybe it is Symbalene blood burn.
CRUSHER: No, no. I don't see anything wrong with you at all. Wait a
minute, there is a slight imbalance in your K three cell count.
BARCLAY: My K threes? Oh, no.
CRUSHER: Barclay, I'm sure it's nothing. Look, I'll run a microcellular
scan. We'll see. This'll take a couple of minutes.
(enter Data carrying something in his arms)
CRUSHER: How's my smallest patient doing?
DATA: I believe she is doing well. Her appetite has increased by seven
percent, and she is starting to engage in prenatal behaviour.
(Spot is put down on a biobed)
CRUSHER: Oh, she's getting close. You'll have a fresh litter of hungry
kittens before the week is over. Let me just run an amniotic scan to
make sure everything's fine and then I'll
BARCLAY: Doctor! My capillaries are shrinking!
CRUSHER: Excuse me. Alyssa, can you take care of Spot for a minute?
Start a preliminary amniotic scan.
OGAWA: Yes, Doctor.
BARCLAY: My intravascular pressure, it's going right through the roof.
CRUSHER: You're right, it is elevated. You've also got heightened
BARCLAY: Electrophoretic activity? Is it serious?
CRUSHER: Well, based on this, I'd say you've got seventy, maybe eighty
BARCLAY: Eighty? Eighty years?
CRUSHER: Yes, Reg. What you've got a mild case of Urodelan Flu. It's
nothing serious. Most humans have a natural immunity to it, but the
T-cell in your DNA that would normally fight off the infection is
BARCLAY: So you mean I have bad genes?
CRUSHER: You have one dormant gene out of a hundred thousand, and I can
activate that gene with a synthetic T-cell let the body attack the
infection naturally. You should feel better in a couple of days.
BARCLAY: Thank you, Doctor. I feel much better.
CRUSHER: Good. Now, stay away from Medical Database. (to Riker) And you
stay out of the Arboretum.
OGAWA: Everything looks fine, Data. Do you want to know the sex of the
DATA: I have noticed that many humans prefer not to know in order to
experience the surprise during birth. I believe I will preserve the
mystery until then.
OGAWA: I know what you mean. I don't want to know either.
OGAWA: Spot's not the only one who's going to be a mother.
CRUSHER: Oh, Alyssa, that's wonderful! How did Andrew take the news?
OGAWA: He was a little shocked, but he's getting over it.
DATA: I have spent the past nine weeks as an expectant parent. I would
be happy to share my insights with your husband. If my experience is
any indication, he will need all the help he can get.
Captain's log, stardate 47653.2. We're performing
field tests of our new tactical systems and weapon upgrades. Mister
Worf is supervising the exercises.
WORF: The next test will involve the new photon
torpedoes. The explosive yield has been increased by eleven percent and
I have enhanced the targeting system for increased accuracy.
PICARD: Sounds fascinating, Mister Worf. Please proceed.
WORF: Setting targeting coordinates zero zero five mark three one
seven, spread pattern delta nine four. Torpedoes armed and loaded, sir.
PICARD: Fire when ready.
(only two of the three find their targets in the asteroid belt)
WORF: One of the torpedoes has veered off course. It appears to be a
malfunction in the guidance system.
PICARD: Abort and destroy.
WORF: The torpedo is not responding. Subspace detonator will not
RIKER: Lock on phasers.
WORF: The torpedo is out of range.
RIKER: Even for your newly improved phasers?
PICARD: Maintain a sensor lock on the torpedo, Mister Worf. We'll have
to go after it.
DATA: That would be inadvisable, sir. The asteroid field is unusually
dense. The Enterprise is too large to safely navigate through it.
PICARD: Then I'll take a shuttlecraft and retrieve it. Mister Data,
you're with me.
RIKER: Captain, the shuttle pilot who's on duty is Lieutenant Hayes.
PICARD: I happen to be a reasonably qualified pilot, Number One.
Besides, these tests hardly require the Captain's personal attention.
RIKER: Understood. Enjoy yourself.
PICARD: Mister Worf, I think that you should consider analysing your
new guidance system.
DATA: Captain, I will need a few minutes to attend to a personal
DATA: It is possible that it will take several days for Captain Picard
and me to complete our mission. I would prefer to have a human present
to supervise the birthing process.
BARCLAY: Well, I'd be honoured.
DATA: I have noticed that you are the only other member of the crew
whom Spot seems to like.
BARCLAY: Really? That's hard to believe. You're such a sweet little
DATA: She is to you. However, there have been several injuries to other
members of the crew who have attempted to care for her.
BARCLAY: So, has she picked a place?
DATA: A place?
BARCLAY: Cats usually like to pick a specific location to give birth.
It's usually dark and secluded, and I believe this is it.
(Barclay drops Spot down behind a chair)
BARCLAY: I'm curious, sir. Who's the father?
DATA: I am not certain. Spot has escaped from my quarters on several
occasions and there are twelve male felines on board. I intend to run a
full DNA analysis on the kittens once they
PICARD [OC]: Picard to Data. Report to Shuttlebay two.
DATA: On my way, sir. Goodbye, Spot. I believe you are in good hands.
BARCLAY: You have nothing to worry about, sir.
(Worf is getting frustrated at a science station)
WORF: I have performed thirteen diagnostics of the weapons array, and I
can find nothing wrong with the guidance system.
RIKER: I'll have Geordi run a diagnostic of the torpedo bay itself.
Maybe he can find something.
WORF: Must you to stand so close to me?
RIKER: Lieutenant, are you all right?
WORF: Yes, I am fine.
RIKER: No, you're not. You've been working for six hours straight.
You're tired. Take a break.
RIKER: That's an order, Lieutenant.
(Worf is wolfing down food)
TROI: Thanks for waiting.
WORF: Do not approach me unannounced, especially when I'm eating.
TROI: Worf we were supposed to have lunch together, remember?
WORF: I was hungry.
TROI: Well, I'm hungry too. Excuse me.
TROI: Can I have an order of Ongilin caviar. Make that a double order.
WORF: Caviar? For lunch?
TROI: I'm in the mood for something salty. Besides, it's no stranger
than what you're eating. (downs a glass of water) Have you noticed how
dry the air is on the ship? I wonder if the environmental controls are
TROI: You're excused.
(Troi's caviar arrives)
TROI: Is something wrong?
WORF: It has been a difficult day. The torpedo guidance system failed.
It was my fault.
TROI: You always say that.
WORF: It was my fault! I designed that guidance system.
TROI: Worf, calm down. I think you're under more stress than you'd like
to admit. Maybe you should get some rest.
WORF: Perhaps you are right. If you will excuse me.
TROI: I didn't mean right now. (and has another glass of water)
(Worf can't sleep. He rips his sheet, prowls the
room semi-crouched then guts the bed for material to make a nest on the
floor. Now he can sleep)
BARCLAY: We removed the torpedo bay's primary
guidance module and found a power fluctuation in the forward sensor
cluster. Now we think it may be a radial imbalance in the phase
discriminator. Now what we want to do next is run a level four
diagnostic, but we're going to have to shut down auxiliary power to
nineteen decks and
RIKER: Wait a minute. Slow down. I lost you back there. Which sensor
BARCLAY: The forward. It's, it's a power fluctuation in the converter
nodes. It's a minor adjustment. It's minor.
LAFORGE: It's all right in here in on diagram, Commander.
RIKER: I'll look this over later. Go ahead. You run your diagnostic.
I'll inform the other departments about the power systems.
(an alarm beeps) BARCLAY: I'll check that.
RIKER: He's full of energy today.
LAFORGE: I can't get him to slow down. He's been working like that
since last night,
BARCLAY: Looks like a plasma conduit cut out in junction seventeen.
I'll go look at it.
LAFORGE: Wait a minute, Reg, I'll go with you. Keep you posted.
(Troi is the Bridge Officer, and is shivering)
TROI: Computer, increase ambient temperature by two degrees Centigrade
and increase relative humidity by ten percent.
WORF: Computer, reset environmental controls to standard.
TROI: Worf, it's freezing in here.
WORF: You have already raised the temperature three times. It is too
TROI: Live with it. Computer, execute my original command.
(she finally can't stand it)
TROI: I need a bath. You have the Bridge.
(a panel has been eaten by acid or something)
BARCLAY: Here we are. Looks like a conduit ruptured. No problem, I'll
just bypass it.
LAFORGE: Reg, wait a second here. Take a look at these corroded edges
here. It looks like something has dissolved the bulkhead and eaten
right through the conduit. There are high levels of cholic acid here.
Enzymatic agents. You know, I wouldn't be surprised if that solvent was
BARCLAY: Maybe we should run a biospectral analysis on the solvent.
Take a closer look.
LAFORGE: That's a very good idea, but first we should take a break.
BARCLAY: You go ahead, sir. I'll take care of it.
DERN: (at the helm) Commander, we received a
communication from Starfleet. They wanted to know when they could
expect your performance analysis of the new weapon systems.
RIKER: The weapon systems?
DERN: Yes, sir. The ones we've been testing for the past few days?
RIKER: That's right.
DERN: What should I tell them, sir?
RIKER: Tell them, tell them we haven't finished yet.
(Troi is in a bath, fully clothed, when Worf
TROI: What are you doing here?
WORF: I had to be near you.
TROI: Computer, increase temperature by five degrees.
WORF: Get out of that water now.
TROI: Leave me alone!
(Worf grabs her arm and bites her on the cheek)
TROI: Can I have a glass of water? It's so cold in
CRUSHER: Your temperature has dropped almost eight degrees. I want to
run a hypothalamic series right away.
OGAWA: Doctor, we've had three other crewmembers complaining about the
temperature levels. Some feel like they have fevers, others are
freezing like Counsellor Troi.
CRUSHER: Call Doctor Selar and Doctor Hacopian. It looks like we've got
some sort of viral infection going on around here. I want to check on
(at another bed, Worf is under guard)
CRUSHER: Worf, have you had any unusual symptoms lately? Headaches,
nausea, dizziness? Worf? Worf, do you hear me? I going to run a full
bioscan. I want you to lie down. (he doesn't move.) Okay, we can do
this sitting up. What is this? (a growth on his
jaw line) Worf, how long have you had this on your neck? It looks like
it's full of some bioacidic compound, almost like a venom sac. Worf,
open your mouth.
(Worf opens his mouth and sprays venom into Beverly's face. She
collapses, screaming in pain and Worf escapes)
OGAWA: Get a hypospray.
NURSE: Right away.
OGAWA: I managed to get her into stasis before the
venom paralysed her. She's going to need reconstructive surgery, but I
think she'll be all right.
BARCLAY: (who can't stay still) Sir, we've analysed the venom and
compared it to the acidic compound found in junction seventeen and on
decks ten and twelve. They all have the same enzymatic composition.
RIKER: Are you saying that Worf is spraying this
RIKER: Venom all over the ship?
BARCLAY: I'd say so.
OGAWA: Sixty crewmen have begun exhibiting strange behavioural changes.
Memory loss, fatigue, headaches. I think one thing is clear. There's
some sort of disease aboard the Enterprise and it's spreading.
RIKER: I'm having trouble concentrating myself. It's like my mind keeps
wandering. I can't
(La Forge runs in)
LAFORGE: Commander, I've got seven security teams out hunting for Worf,
but for some reason sensors are having a difficult time locking onto
him. I've called for a level two security alert. Do you think we should
go to a Level One?
RIKER: I don't know. What do you think?
LAFORGE: I think we should.
RIKER: Okay. Sounds good. Then you'll take care of that security thing?
LAFORGE: Yes, sir. I will.
RIKER: Okay, I'll notify Starfleet. I'll let them know what's
happening. You have your orders. (Barclays already out the door)
(Ogawa stands, resting with her knuckles on the desk, looks around then
walks out with a very rolling gait.)
RIKER: Computer, send a subspace message to Starfleet command. Security
COMPUTER: Alpha four seven authorisation required to activate security
COMPUTER: Awaiting authorisation.
(too late, he's off with the fairies)
Captain's log, supplemental. Commander Data and I
have recovered the stray torpedo after a three day search. We are
enroute back to the Enterprise.
DATA: Captain, the ship is not at the pre-arranged
PICARD: Have they been delayed?
DATA: I do not know. I am unable to raise them on any communication
PICARD: Scan the vicinity. See if you can find them.
DATA: I found it, sir, two light years away.
PICARD: Set a course.
DATA: The Enterprise appears to be adrift. I am reading power
fluctuations on all decks.
PICARD: Life signs?
DATA: There are life signs. However, sensor readings are highly
distorted. I am unable to identify specific lifeforms.
PICARD: Adjust the axial stabilisers to match the attitude and rotation
rate of the Enterprise, I'm going to dock the shuttle manually.
DATA: Main power is offline. All systems are in
standby or emergency mode. There is no response from any manned
PICARD: Any sign of the crew?
DATA: I cannot access internal sensors from here. We will have to go to
(strange calls in the air)
PICARD: That sounds like animals.
DATA: Yes, sir. I am able to discern over three hundred different
(something large rattles along a Jefferies tube)
PICARD: Look at this.
(a shed skin)
DATA: It is composed of reptilian DNA. I believe it is an epidermal
layer that has been cast off during moulting.
PICARD: But it seems to be humanoid.
DATA: Yes, sir. I cannot explain it. There are no species aboard the
Enterprise that shed their skin in this fashion.
(a little further along there is a door covered in condensation)
PICARD: These are Commander Troi's quarters. Can you tell if she's
DATA: No, sir.
PICARD: Data, I want to have a look in here. Stand ready.
(it's tropical inside, water is dripping from the
PICARD: The environmental settings in these quarters have been altered.
Data, over here.
(They go into the bathroom. Troi is underwater so Picard pulls her out)
(she starts gasping.)
PICARD: What's happened to her?
DATA: Her DNA is in a state of ribocyatic flux. Her genetic codes are
being re-sequenced and her cells are mutating as a result. At a
fundamental level, sir, she is no longer human.
PICARD: What is she?
DATA: Her respiratory tissue has become capable of metabolising both
water and air, and her eyes have developed nictitating membranes. I
believe she is amphibian, sir.
PICARD: She has been injured.
DATA: Yes, sir. There's Klingon DNA in the wound. It is saliva.
PICARD: Are you saying she's been bitten?
DATA: It would appear so.
(Deanna go back underwater)
DATA: I will need to run a full biospectral analysis.
PICARD: First we've got to get the ship under control. Let's go to the
(Dern is dead, with scratches across his chest)
DATA: His upper spinal column has been broken in three places.
PICARD: It looks like he's been attacked by some sort of animal.
DATA: Yes, sir.
PICARD: Has his DNA been changed as well?
DATA: Yes, sir. However, it was in its initial stages when he died.
Captain, I am picking up one thousand and eleven individual life forms
within the ship. All exhibit a similar genetic flux to the one we
observed in Counsellor Troi.
PICARD: So the entire ship has been affected.
DATA: Most of the lifeforms are scattered throughout the ship. However,
there are several large concentrations in the arboretum and the aquatic
PICARD: I've regained attitude control for the ship, but main power is
still offline. It looks as though the entire power transfer grid has
(there's thumping from the ready room)
(Riker is trying to get at Livingston the fish.
He's hairy and brutish and his uniform has split at the shoulders)
DATA: Captain. His cranial plates have thickened by twenty percent. His
brain is much smaller, sir. I do not believe he can comprehend our
PICARD: Perhaps we can find a way to communicate. Will, can you
understand what it is that
(Riker attacks Picard and Data stuns him using two shots)
PICARD: He looks almost proto-human.
DATA: Yes, sir. His DNA would seem to confirm that observation.
Captain, I believe the crew is de-evolving.
PICARD: This tranquilliser should keep him
unconscious for another seven hours. What have you found out?
DATA: I have analysed Commander Riker's DNA structure. A synthetic
T-cell has invaded his genetic codes. This T-cell has begun to activate
his latent introns.
DATA: They are genetic codes which are normally dormant. They are
evolutionary holdovers, sequences of DNA that provided key behavioural
and physical characteristics millions of years ago, but are no longer
necessary. For instance, Counsellor Troi's gill slits and other
amphibious characteristics were derived from introns which still
contain amphibious codes.
PICARD: So these introns are causing her DNA to re-combine in an
DATA: That is correct. In her case, the DNA has created an amphibious
lifeform which became extinct over fifty million years ago.
PICARD: And Commander Riker's introns are changing him into what
appears to be one of the earlier hominids.
DATA: Yes, sir. I would say Australopithecine. Each of these stages is
another link in the evolutionary chain which stretches back to the
origins of all lifeforms on Earth. Because introns can include genetic
material from many different species over millions of years of
evolution, it is possible that a wide variety of transformations is
occurring among the crew.
PICARD: What about those crewmembers who are not from Earth?
DATA: All humanoid life has a similar genetic pattern. The virus should
work on non-human crewmembers in the same way. They are each
de-evolving to earlier forms of life on their homeworlds. I feel I must
inform you, sir, you have also been infected by the intron virus.
PICARD: How long before I begin to change?
DATA: According to my calculations, within the next twelve hours, you
will begin to exhibit the first signs of your eventual transformation.
PICARD: And what will that be
DATA: I believe you will also de-evolve into some form of early
primate. Possibly similar to a lemur, or a pygmy marmoset.
PICARD: Well, before I begin swinging through the ship looking for
breakfast, we'd better find some answers. How do we reverse the
DATA: I am uncertain. We will need to run several microcellular scans.
However, the ship's main computer has been damaged. Captain, the
computer in my quarters has an independent processing and memory
storage unit. It should not be affected. I suggest we start from there.
DATA: It would appear that Spot has had her kittens.
PICARD: They sound hungry.
DATA: Yes. I am curious as to why Spot is not caring for them.
(it's because on the carpet is an iguana with a pink collar)
PICARD: It would seem the intron virus is not limited to humanoid
DATA: No, sir.
PICARD: What is it?
DATA: These kittens were born less than twenty four hours. It would
appear that Spot's transformation took place at approximately the same
PICARD: So Spot was giving birth to the kittens at the same time that
she was changing into a reptilian lifeform.
DATA: I believe so. For some reason, the intron virus was not passed on
to the kittens. I do not know why.
PICARD: If I remember my biology, there are several natural immune
systems that come into play in the mother's womb to protect the foetus
from viral infections.
DATA: That is true. Placental barrier, maternal antibodies and amniotic
fluids all serve as a filtration system.
PICARD: Maybe we could have inhibited the intron virus by using the
natural antibodies in Spot's amniotic fluid.
DATA: It would take further research, but I believe to be effective on
humanoid crewmembers, humanoid antibodies would be necessary.
PICARD: Then we should locate a pregnant humanoid.
DATA: Nurse Ogawa has recently became pregnant.
PICARD: Where is she?
DATA: I have traced her comm. badge signal to deck seventeen, section
twenty one alpha.
PICARD: The Arboretum.
DATA: One of the warp plasma vents has failed. Main Engineering has
been abandoned. There is no one there to fix the problem.
DATA: I can repair the damaged plasma vent from
PICARD: I'm going to check the status of the warp core.
(it's dark, and cobwebs are everywhere. Picard looks through a window
at the warp core and something with half a face and a few compound eyes
throws itself at the glass)
(it skitters away)
PICARD: What was that?
DATA: I believe it was Lieutenant Barclay. He appeared to be partially
transformed into an arachnid.
PICARD: A spider?
DATA: Yes, sir. Are you all right, Captain?
PICARD: I have these intense feelings of fear and panic. I feel as if I
were being watched. I can't explain it.
DATA: You may be experiencing the initial stages of your
transformation. Early primates were often prey to larger carnivores. As
a result, their instincts probably included a heightened sense of
PICARD: In that case, my instincts tell me that we'd better hurry.
(Alyssa the ape is on a biobed and Picard is biting
DATA: Captain, I have analysed Nurse Ogawa's embryo. It has been
unaffected by the virus. I believe I can use her amniotic fluid as a
template for a retrovirus. It would neutralise the synthetic T-cell,
and re-establish the original genetic patterns of each host.
PICARD: How soon can you do that?
DATA: It will not take long to isolate the appropriate genetic
material. I will need to get the Sickbay computer back on
(something tries to batter down the door)
PICARD: What was that?
DATA: It is large. Approximately two hundred kilograms. It is heavily
armored with an exoskeleton. Life signs appear to be Klingon.
(the door starts to buckle)
PICARD: Set your phaser to heavy stun.
DATA: We cannot be certain a stun setting will have any effect on him.
A higher setting may kill him.
(the wide shot shows Riker and Troi are also on biobeds)
PICARD: Listen to that. He sounds very angry, really, really
aggressive. What do you think he wants? Do you think he's responding to
some predatory instinct? Do you think he see us as prey?
DATA: There are crewmembers in the corridors and other sections of the
ship. It would be much easier for him to capture and consume one of
them, than to attempt to break through a door.
PICARD: Then what does he want? Predators use vocalisations to frighten
other predators and to mark territory, and to commence mating process.
A mating process. Counsellor Troi was bitten by a Klingon but not in a
place that might be life-threatening. Nowhere near a major artery or
organ. Data, look at this. Look at this injury. This wound was never
intended to give her any kind of serious harm.
DATA: Captain, what are you suggesting?
PICARD: Is it possible that Worf could see Counsellor Troi as his mate?
DATA: If that is true, he must be trying to reach her now.
PICARD: Well, we can't just leave. We have to stay here and protect
her. And we have to keep on working on the retrovirus. If we could
distract him, if we could lure him away from her.
DATA: The mating instinct is quite strong in Klingon biology. I am not
certain what would be an effective lure.
PICARD: Klingons have got a very powerful sense of smell. If we could
duplicate Deanna's pheromones and then convince him she's no longer in
Sickbay, that she'd gone into some other part of the ship.
DATA: I am extracting a blood sample from one of her sebaceous glands,
where the pheromones are produced. I believe I can activate the
pheromones with a bioactivant solution.
PICARD: Can you amplify the pheromones? They need to be much more
powerful than Deanna's actual scent.
DATA: I believe this will produce the desired effect. I will use it to
draw Worf to a another part of the ship.
PICARD: No, no, no. You must go on working on the retrovirus. I'll go.
DATA: Captain, that is extremely unwise. Worf may be much faster than
PICARD: No time. No time to argue.
(the terrified not-yet-a-proto-lemur sneaks out
through Crusher's office door and squirts the scent into the air,
backing down the dark corridor. The armoured monster leaves the door
and follows the trail)
PICARD: Deck seventeen. Deck seventeen!
(the doors shut in the nick of time but it doesn't move. Worf starts
hammering at the door and Picard escapes through the roof)
(Data gives Alyssa a hypospray)
DATA: Computer, display progress of genetic re-sequencing.
(Worf sprays venom on Picard's arm from above
through a grating and Picard drops the phaser)
COMPUTER: Genetic re-sequencing in progress. DNA to
seventy percent normal.
DATA: Computer, increase nucleotide substitution by thirty two percent.
(at the point of the original hole, Picard
insulates himself on a panel cover and jabs a live cable onto the metal
framework. Finally Worf collapses.)
(Alyssa is back to normal)
DATA: Data to Captain Picard.
PICARD: Go ahead, Data.
DATA: The retro virus is working, sir.
DATA: I can release it into the ship's atmosphere
in a gaseous state.
DATA [OC]: However it will take some time to take
DATA: Are you all right, sir?
PICARD [OC]: Yes, I'm
PICARD: Fine, Mister Data. Proceed. (Worf snores)
Well, Mister Worf, let's hope that when you wake up, you're a new man.
Captain's log, supplemental. Commander Data has
succeeded in returning the crew to normal. Doctor Crusher has
determined that the synthetic T-cell she used to cure Mister Barclay's
Urodelan flu initiated the intron virus which swept through the ship.
BARCLAY: So, this is my fault?
CRUSHER: No. In a way it's mine. I didn't realise it at the time, but
there's an anomaly in your genetic chemistry that caused the synthetic
T-cell to mutate. Instead of activating one dormant gene, it started
activating all of them, including your introns.
BARCLAY: And that's what er, and that's what caused me to devolve?
CRUSHER: You and every other member of the crew. The T-cell became
airborne and started to spread like a virus. You know, Reg, this is a
completely new disease, and it's traditional to classify a new disease
with the name of the first diagnosed patient.
BARCLAY: Oh! You mean you want to name the disease after me?
CRUSHER: That's right. How about Barclay's Protomorphosis Syndrome?
BARCLAY: Barclay's Protomorphosis. It has a nice ring to it. Thank you,
CRUSHER: He transformed into a spider and now he has a disease named
TROI: I think I'd better clear my calendar for the next few weeks.