The House of the Dead, by James Goss

A BBC Radio Audio Drama, broadcast on BBC Radio 4 on 13th July 2011

WEDNESDAY 13 JULY 2011
BBC RADIO 4
TORCHWOOD THE LOST FILES
THE HOUSE OF THE DEAD

(Muttered conversations in a bar.)
BARRY: Time please, time at the bar. So if you'd like to take your drinks and join Mrs Wintergreen by the fire.
MRS WINTERGREEN: Gather round, everyone. The dead don't like to be kept waiting.
IANTO JONES: Jack...
MRS WINTERGREEN: Come along.
IANTO JONES: Gwen.
MRS WINTERGREEN: Don't be shy.
IANTO JONES: Hurry up. It's starting.
MRS WINTERGREEN: Closer. That's it. If we could all join hands? That's right. Now then. Tonight is the last night of the House of the Dead, the most haunted pub in Wales and you've all come looking for someone you've lost. So, without any further ado ... (Deep voice:) I summon the dead. I summon the dead. Will you come to us tonight?
IANTO JONES: Jack, something's happening.
MRS WINTERGREEN: Think of your loved ones, of whom you wish to see again, feel their spirits reaching out. Join closer. Come, gentle ghosts. Come to the House of the Dead.
(Sudden movement, cries by women there.)
BARRY: Gentle ghosts? Are you having a laugh?
NESS: Did you see that chair?
BARRY: Someone will have to pay for that.
IANTO JONES: Jack, where are you?
MRS WINTERGREEN: Peace, unquiet shade.
BARRY: We booked you for a sťance. Mrs Wintergreen, not to trash the place, love.
MRS WINTERGREEN: I'm sorry, Barry, this has never happened before, but isn't it amazing? Everyone, stay calm. The spirits mean us no harm.
(More sounds as though things being thrown about.)
IANTO JONES: Jack, Gwen, where are you? It's getting out of control.
(Smashing. Glass moving.)
NESS: The Ouija board. Look.
MRS WINTERGREEN: Incredible. No one is touching the glass, it's moving by itself.
BARRY: What it's saying?
MRS WINTERGREEN: It's spelling a name. Spirit, tell us, who is coming?
(She reads out the letters:)
MRS WINTERGREEN: J...
(Glass moving.)
MRS WINTERGREEN: A ... C...
(Glass moving. Electrical fizz. People cry out.)
BARRY: Everyone stay calm. The fuse must have blown.
MRS WINTERGREEN: Someone's coming through. Look at the door! I see him coming. It's a soldier.
(Door opened.)
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Captain Jack Harkness. You're all in terrible danger.

(Opening Torchwood theme, composed by Murray Gold.)
JACK: Torchwood. Outside the Government, beyond the police. Fighting for the future on behalf of the human race. The Twenty-First Century is when everything changes, and Torchwood is ready.

BARRY: Can someone light the candles, please?
MRS WINTERGREEN: Captain Harkness. My name is Evadne Wintergreen. Do not be afraid, friendly spirit. You have come to us from the other side.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: From Cardiff, actually.
MRS WINTERGREEN: I beg your pardon?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: (sighs:) I've come to warn you.
IANTO JONES: Jack. you're late.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Oh ... Hey, Ianto! Oh, good to see you.
IANTO JONES: I'm sorry Jack, I couldn't stop it.
BARRY: Hey, mate! You saying you're not a ghost?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Flesh and blood, I assure you. Now listen to me...
MRS WINTERGREEN: How disappointing. I knew I felt a presence in this room.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Please! I've come to warn you. You're in a lot of danger.
IANTO JONES: Otherwise, we wouldn't be here, would we?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: The sťance has got to stop.
MRS WINTERGREEN: We can't just stop. We've broken through to the other side.
BARRY: It was scary, I grant you. But all just a harmless bit of fun.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Er - what's going on here is not fun. (Sigh.) Are you the landlord?
BARRY: Too right I am. And you are...?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Listen, I need to have a word with you.
BARRY: Come with me. I've got a fuse to mend.

(Fuse box opened.)
BARRY: Now, then ... Hold that torch, will you, while I'll sort this out. Oh ... come on.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: I realise this sounds odd, but you have to listen to me...
BARRY: You're from the brewery, aren't you?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: No, I'm from...
BARRY: How much did they pay you, son, eh? Fifty? A hundred?
(CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS sighs.)
BARRY: Unbelievable. They can't even let us enjoy our last night.
(Fuses fixed.)
BARRY: There we go. Let there be light.
(Switch flicked.)
BARRY: Ah. Much better.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: I'm not from the brewery.
BARRY: Oh! You just happened to turn up to ruin our closing party. You know all long this place has been open?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Six hundred years.
BARRY: Yeah. Right. The most haunted pub in Wales. The House of the Dead. Imagine the history in this building.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Believe me, I am.
BARRY: The brewery changes hands and suddenly this building is worth more as flats. Flats! All we're doing is giving the building a send-off, a ... a leaving party for the ghosts. Mrs Wintergreen is the best in the business.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: She's not working alone.
BARRY: Team of helpers, is it? (Laugh.) You're one of them, eh? All part of the spectacle, eh? Say no more. Won't let on.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: I'm not working with her. Mrs Wintergreen is a very gifted psychic and she has made contact with something very dangerous. If this sťance goes ahead, everyone here will die. I can't save you.
BARRY: Just go home. You may not believe in it, but the people out there do.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: I do believe in it. That's why I can't let it go ahead.
BARRY: Just go home. I'm asking nicely.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Stop the sťance. I'm asking nicely.
BARRY: (sigh.) Fair enough. Can I have my torch back?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Sure.
BARRY: Thanks very much!
(Thump. CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS cries out. Falls.)
BARRY: ... mate!

(GWEN COOPER speaks as though her voice is coming through a headset.)
GWEN COOPER: (communicator:) Ianto? Ianto? What's happening?
IANTO JONES: Gwen. Oh, Gwen. We couldn't stop the sťance. It was weird. Furniture flying everywhere.
GWEN COOPER: (communicator:) Oh, you're kidding. So that's why Jack wanted us here.
IANTO JONES: What, he didn't tell you either?
GWEN COOPER: (communicator:) Jack Harkness playing his cards close to his chest.
IANTO JONES: Surprise. Where are you?
GWEN COOPER: (communicator:) On my way. It's taking a bit longer than I thought.
IANTO JONES: Tell me about it. Traffic's a nightmare.
GWEN COOPER: (communicator:) Shouldn't be long. Ianto, find out what Jack's up to. I'm worried.
IANTO JONES: Yeah. Actually, where is Jack?

(Door opened.)
IANTO JONES: Jack?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: (sigh.) Ianto.
IANTO JONES: Jack! What happened to you?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Oh, the landlord knocked me out cold.
IANTO JONES: He is very large.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Ah. Should have seen it coming. Then again tonight is full of surprises.
IANTO JONES: Let me clear you up. Here.
(CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS sigh.)
IANTO JONES: Ooh, don't be a siss.
(CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS gasps.)
IANTO JONES: Could you not have ... pulled your gun out on him?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Left it at home. Tonight's the night for magic, not guns.
IANTO JONES: Really? Jack, what's happening here? I mean, that was no ordinary sťance out there, was it? I'm worried.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: You worried? Ianto...
IANTO JONES: What's going on?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: (sighs.) There is a secret hidden underneath the rift, a shadow from the oldest universe of all, Siriath, the Death Feeder. She's been trapped since before there were such a thing as Time.
IANTO JONES: And she's found a way to escape?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Yeah! Everything's in alignment. At the right place, at the right time, comes the right woman.
IANTO JONES: Mrs Wintergreen.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: She is the bridge between worlds. A powerful psychic holding a sťance in the most haunted pub in Wales.
IANTO JONES: The House of the Dead, built on ley lines, inside an old stone circle, and smack on top of the rift. Right, if anything would work, that would do it.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: The pub is on a crack in the rift, a point weak enough for Siriath to escape, if someone strong enough reaches out to her. And the ghosts are tempting Mrs Wintergreen to do just that.
IANTO JONES: Wait. The ghost here are real?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Siriath's comes from before time. So she can bend it. She's sending people visions to trap them. All these people have come here wanting to see their loved ones just one more time, and Siriath is feeding off that need. She'll ensnare them and then she'll devour them. If she reaches this world she'll rip it apart, using the dead as a weapon.
IANTO JONES: How can we defeat her?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: (laugh.) If we can prevent them from making contact with Siriath, we may be able to save everyone here. If we can't, then they'll be her first victims.
IANTO JONES: We've got to stop that sťance.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: There's one more thing, Ianto, Siriath knows I'm here. She will use the ghosts of the dead against us.
(Woman's scream - NESS.)
IANTO JONES: That came from the bar.

(Gasp from NESS.)
NESS: Something touched me. It's so cold. And that smell. I know that smell.
MRS WINTERGREEN: The spirits are drawing near. Come everyone, let's give it another try, shall we? We summon the dead. Don't be scared. Our lost ones are reaching out to us, don't reject them. Bring them close.
(Door opened.)
IANTO JONES: Everyone, stop!
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Stop this! Listen to me.
MRS WINTERGREEN: They're coming through.
(Smashing, cries.)
MRS WINTERGREEN: The dead ... are with us. Is there someone here called Ness?
NESS: Yes, that's me.
MRS WINTERGREEN: There's someone here for you. Your brother.
NESS: Tony. It must be Tony. I knew I could smell his aftershave.
MRS WINTERGREEN: You will see him very soon. And Barry? Where are you, dear?
BARRY: Over here, Mrs Wintergreen.
MRS WINTERGREEN: Your wife Helen has joined us. She's so proud of you for keeping this place going. And ... she forgives you.
BARRY: Helen? Helen, where are you, love? I want to see you.
MRS WINTERGREEN: Concentrate and you shall. Everyone, think of your loved ones. Reach out to them and they'll reach back.
IANTO JONES: This it real, isn't it?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Yes it is.
MRS WINTERGREEN: Is there a Ianto Jones among us?
IANTO JONES: That's me.
MRS WINTERGREEN: I have a message from his father.
IANTO JONES: What?
MRS WINTERGREEN: It's a word. "Betrayal".
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: That's enough! You ... you've gone too far, Mrs Wintergreen. You don't know what you're doing. You have to stop! Wake up, Mrs Wintergreen.
(Echoed.)
IANTO JONES: Wake up, Mrs Wintergreen!
(Gasp as MRS WINTERGREEN wakes up.)
MRS WINTERGREEN: The trance is broken.
BARRY: Helen? Love? Where are you? I'll do anything.
NESS: Tony? I can't see you.
MRS WINTERGREEN: They've all gone, my dears. They've all gone home.
BARRY: Ah ... You again. I thought I'd made it clear, you weren't welcome. What the hell did you do that for?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: It was going too far. You can not complete the ceremony.
BARRY: What gave you the right, eh? They were here!
NESS: They were real.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Yeah. Yes, they were. The dead were in this room. Doesn't that tell you that this is wrong?
NESS: I don't care. I was about to see my Tony again and you ruined it.
BARRY: I'm throwing you out.
MRS WINTERGREEN: Everyone, don't worry. Leave this to me. Come along, Mr Harkness. Let's have a little chat.

CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Mrs Wintergreen, you're beguiled. You were offering a lifeline to something evil.
MRS WINTERGREEN: Do you know what a ghost really is, Jack? It's not a flickering light, a creaking floorboard, or a face pressed up against a window. A ghost is just someone who's come back to say goodbye.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: No. These aren't those kind of ghosts. You are dredging something up from depths so dark. Siriath is an ancient evil. She does exactly what you do. She toys with the dead.
MRS WINTERGREEN: I don't toy with the dead. Look at what I've done. I made everyone out there so happy. Why should I stop?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: She'll feed off you. You'll all die.
MRS WINTERGREEN: I can't believe that. The ghosts are kind. Haven't you ever lost anyone, Jack?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: (sigh.) Yes. I have.
MRS WINTERGREEN: Then you know that people will do anything, just to see them once more.
(Walking off.)
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: (laugh.) It's too late, isn't it?
MRS WINTERGREEN: Yes.
(Door opens, closes.)
MRS WINTERGREEN: Yes. Siriath, is it? I think I'd like to talk to you. To say thank you.

(Bar conversations.)
BARRY: Now - everyone, your attention, please. In the circumstances, I'm opening the bar again. I'm sure we could all do with a drink.
IANTO JONES: Ah, yeah, any chance I could get a cup of coffee, please?
BARRY: Oh, blasted coffee machine's broken. Where's Tim? Oh - don't tell me he's resigned again. That's the third time this week. I'm off to change the barrels in the cellar.
IANTO JONES: So, no coffee, then.
GWEN COOPER: (communicator:) Ianto?
IANTO JONES: Gwen. Listen. Jack says something terrible's escaping from the rift.
GWEN COOPER: (communicator:) Why hasn't he told us before?
IANTO JONES: I don't know. I'm in the bar making sure they don't start up again while he searches the pub.
GWEN COOPER: (communicator:) Ianto, is Jack behaving normally?
IANTO JONES: Well ... he's not himself, no. It's like he's spooked. How long till you get here?
GWEN COOPER: (communicator:) Oh, not far now. I'll be with you as soon as I can. Find out what's wrong with Jack.
IANTO JONES: I'll try, Gwen.
GWEN COOPER: (communicator:) Thanks Ianto, You're one in a million.
MR JONES: (echoed:) I'm waiting for you, Ianto.
IANTO JONES: It can't be you.
MR JONES: (echoed:) Come upstairs.

(Walking.)
BARRY: Right then. Where's that new barrel?
(Bottle smash.)
BARRY: Who's there? Not another nutter?
HELEN: (echoed:) No, Barry. It's me.
BARRY: Helen. I can ... I can see you. It really is you.
HELEN: (echoed:) Of course it is. I wouldn't miss your last night, would I? Not for the world.
(Bottle smash.)
HELEN: (echoed:) Sorry. I'll clear that up in a minute.
(Bottle smash.)
HELEN: (echoed:) Oh, and there I go again.
(She laughs.)
BARRY: You look just the same, Helen love.
HELEN: (echoed:) Oh ... and you've put on a bit of weight. Oh, that suits you.
BARRY: Does it? Oh, I've missed you.
HELEN: (echoed:) Yeah, me too. Come here.
BARRY: Oh, your hands are cold.
HELEN: (echoed:) Oh ... (Laugh.) I know. You can warm me up.
BARRY: Oh, Helen. Helen, my love.
(Helen sighs.)
BARRY: You smell just the same.
(Kissing.)
BARRY: This feels good. Like old times. Quick clutch in the stockroom.
HELEN: (echoed:) Why don't you have a drink?
BARRY: No, I ... I don't drink anymore.
HELEN: (echoed:) Oh, you have changed. Come on, just one sip, for old time's sake, eh?
(Bottle smash.)
HELEN: (echoed:) That keeps happening. Sorry.
BARRY: I'll clear it up later. You're back, that's all that matters. Helen, love. You're still so cold.
HELEN: (echoed:) That's cause I'm dead, love.
BARRY: Yeah. Sorry.
(Noise of bottles clattering together.)
BARRY: What was that?
HELEN: (echoed:) Shh!
BARRY: But what...?
HELEN: Oh, it just means I'm hungry. So hungry!
(BARRY screams.)

(Door opened.)
IANTO JONES: Hello? I'm here. Hello?
MR JONES: (echoed:) Hello, son.
IANTO JONES: Oh my God.
MR JONES: (echoed:) You're looking well. Nice suit. Those shoes could have done with a polish.
IANTO JONES: It really is you.
MR JONES: (echoed:) Of course it is. Come here, Ianto.
IANTO JONES: You're dead.
MR JONES: (echoed:) Yes.
IANTO JONES: Right.
MR JONES: (echoed:) You never called, did you?
IANTO JONES: Sorry?
MR JONES: (echoed:) I got that mobile specially, my first one. Made sure your mother gave you the number. They don't allow them in hospitals not normally, but they made an exception for me. I was waiting for an important call.
IANTO JONES: Don't ... Dad.
MR JONES: (echoed:) I kept it plugged into the charger. Nurse said, wouldn't do the battery life any good in the long term. Like it mattered.
(IANTO JONES gasping as though holding back tears.)
MR JONES: (echoed:) I waited for you to call. Three weeks.
IANTO JONES: I didn't know what to say.
MR JONES: (echoed:) You never did, did you? But that's in the past. Come here. There's something not quite right about the shoulders in that jacket.
IANTO JONES: Dad!
MR JONES: (echoed:) No, nothing wrong with the fabric, lovely bit of material, but the cut's a shame.
(IANTO JONES sighs.)
MR JONES: (echoed:) Didn't want to see me then, don't want to see me now.
IANTO JONES: That's not fair. Why have you come back? We never had that much to say to each other. And now ... I mean...
MR JONES: (echoed:) I was offered the chance, to talk to you.
IANTO JONES: Who offered you the chance?
MR JONES: (Laugh, echoed:) Now you're interested in what I have to say.
IANTO JONES: You've come back from the dead with a message.
MR JONES: (echoed:) Your ... friend, Jack. Get him to leave, can't you? He can't stop her for returning, not now. And she's bringing us all back too, don't you see? The dead. We're all coming back, Ianto. Your mum, me, and so many friends. Owen, Toshiko, and that nice girl of yours.
IANTO JONES: Lisa?
MR JONES: (echoed:) Ianto. We're really coming back to life. Isn't that great? Tell Jack that, eh? Tell him to just turn around and leave with you.
IANTO JONES: We can't just leave.
MR JONES: (echoed:) I'll tell you a little secret, Ianto. We're more alike than you think.
IANTO JONES: What do you mean?
MR JONES: (echoed:) We'll both betray the ones we love.
IANTO JONES: No. No we won't. I'm not like you.
MR JONES: (echoed:) Oh yes you are, son. You're just like me.
IANTO JONES: No. No!
(Door opens, vision fades.)
IANTO JONES: Dad. Dad?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Ianto.
IANTO JONES: Jack?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Oh, Ianto Jones. I came looking for you.
IANTO JONES: (sniffs.) Here I am.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Hey, what happened?
IANTO JONES: I've seen ... I've seen my father. That was my dad. It really was him. Oh God ... Oh God...
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Hey, hey, hey, it's okay, it's okay. Look ... look, I'm here. I'm s... Ianto...
IANTO JONES: Oh God...
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: I'm sorry. I warned you Siriath would use the dead against us. Mrs Wintergreen. What has she done?

(Walking on wooden floor.)
IANTO JONES: Excuse me. Can we get past?
NESS: Stop, please.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: I've got to get in there.
NESS: My name's Ness.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Nice to meet you, Ness. Love to chat, but...
NESS: Don't, please. Don't go back to the bar.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Something terrible is about to happen. You have to trust me.
NESS: I don't know what to believe. But I do know my brother, Tony, not handsome, crap job. scruffy, rank aftershave, but he was my brother and I loved him. And she's bringing him back to me.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: The dead, you can't trust them. Believe me, you can't.
NESS: If someone you loved came back to you, you'd hold on to them and you would never let them go, would you?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: I ... I know what I have to do.
(Walking off.)
IANTO JONES: I'm sorry. I really am.
NESS: Please, stop!
(Bar conversation. Door closed.)
NESS: Oh, Tony...
TONY: (echoed:) I'm here, Ness. I'm here.
NESS: Tony! Oh ... it's cold all of a sudden.
(Howling wind.)
TONY: (echoed:) Yeah.
NESS: It's good to see you. You didn't hear what I was saying, did you?
TONY: (echoed:) It doesn't matter. Oh come here, Nessie. And hold me. Oh, I'm cold.
NESS: Yes.
TONY: (echoed:) I'm so cold, and ... I'm so ... hungry.

MRS WINTERGREEN: We call on Siriath, the Queen of the Dead. Siriath, we just want to say, thank you for what you've shown us, for bringing our loved ones back, back from the realm of the dead. Siriath. We're so grateful. Now, come on everyone, hold hands. That's right, big circle, warm welcome, don't be scared. Now, Siriath, let us know. Is there anything you want? We open our hearts to you.
(Door crashed open.)
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Stop!
IANTO JONES: Please, stop!
MRS WINTERGREEN: She's coming. Siriath is coming. The last gateway opens.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: No.
IANTO JONES: It's my fault. I'm sorry. If you haven't come looking for me, this never would have happened.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Tell me about it.
MRS WINTERGREEN: She's here, in this room, and she's brought our loved ones with her. Their hands reaching out to tap you on the shoulder. They are here. Soon, you'll be able to see them, touch them.
(Baby echoed cry.)
MRS WINTERGREEN: Wait. What's that?
(Baby echoed gurgle.)
MRS WINTERGREEN: Is that really you? My baby? My Ben.
(Baby echoed squeal.)
MRS WINTERGREEN: Where are you? Mummy's coming to find you.
(Baby echoed cry.)
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Please, Mrs Wintergreen!
(MRS WINTERGREEN slightly different voice.)
MRS WINTERGREEN: (echoed:) Oh, oh ... Here, I am paused on the threshold. Let me in.
IANTO JONES: What's happening to her?
MRS WINTERGREEN: (echoed:) Don't be afraid. I speak through this woman. I bring you a warning. There is one who means you great harm.
IANTO JONES: I don't like this.
MRS WINTERGREEN: (echoed:) He is not who he appears to be. You must not trust him. His name is ... Jack.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: No! No, it's okay. Stay back. Listen to me. You mustn't trust her.
IANTO JONES: Gwen? Where on earth are you?
GWEN COOPER: (communicator:) Close. Ianto, did I just hear right?
IANTO JONES: Yes. Siriath is warning us about Jack.
GWEN COOPER: (communicator:) I knew something wasn't right. Don't trust him, Ianto!
IANTO JONES: Something's wrong with him, isn't it Gwen? Jack! Is this true?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: What ... what Siriath says is correct.
IANTO JONES: Jack?
MRS WINTERGREEN: (echoed:) See?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: I came here to stop you, Siriath, and I will.
MRS WINTERGREEN: (echoed:) And how will you stop me, Jack?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: What's inside this box will destroy you.
IANTO JONES: Oh my God.
MRS WINTERGREEN: (echoed:) I told you, he wants to kill you all.
GWEN COOPER: (communicator:) What is it Ianto? Has Jack gone mad?
IANTO JONES: I don't know, he's got a device of some kind. Gwen, I wish you were here.
GWEN COOPER: (communicator:) Any second, I promise.
IANTO JONES: Now, Jack, you don't wanna do this.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: I have to, Ianto.
IANTO JONES: Please. Let everybody go.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Sure. Everyone, you go free! See me, standing here with my box. Not blowing anyone up. Off you go!
(Chairs moved back as people move off.)
MRS WINTERGREEN: (echoed:) I'll stay. I'll still have work to do. It's just us now.
IANTO JONES: Jack, give that box to me please. What is it, exactly?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Ianto, do you trust me?
IANTO JONES: Not so much right now, no.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: I've always trusted you. Here, catch.
(IANTO JONES gasps.)
IANTO JONES: Oh my god, Gwen, I'm holding a bomb. I'm holding a bomb. What do I do now? Gwen?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: You're talking to Gwen?
IANTO JONES: Yeah. She's held up in traffic. God knows what she gonna say when she gets here.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Ianto, look at your headset.
GWEN COOPER: (echoed:) Don't listen to him, Ianto.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Ianto, your headset isn't switched on.
GWEN COOPER: (echoed:) Don't listen to him!
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: So, whose voice are you hearing?
GWEN COOPER: (echoed:) Don't listen to him!
IANTO JONES: You're not Gwen. What are you?
MRS WINTERGREEN: (laugh, echoed:) I am Siriath. I feed on death.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: It never was Gwen.
IANTO JONES: But she's been talking to me the whole time, telling me what to do.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Manipulating us both.
IANTO JONES: She told me not to trust you, and I believed her. I'm sorry.
MRS WINTERGREEN: (echoed:) You are in the House of the Dead. Nothing is what it appears to be. I'm so hungry. This woman can provide me with one more service.
(Gasps from MRS WINTERGREEN as she returns to normal.)
MRS WINTERGREEN: (echoed:) Oh my ... oh, goodness me.
(She gasps.)
MRS WINTERGREEN: I'm free of it. I'm free of it. But .... Oh, Jack, Jack, I understand what you were warning me about. The gateway is open, isn't it?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Yes.
MRS WINTERGREEN: I'm so sorry. The sad thing is, we all came here looking for someone.
(Baby echoed cries.)
MRS WINTERGREEN: And we found them. That's my little baby. So young, so long ago.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Mrs Wintergreen.
MRS WINTERGREEN: He's crying out for me. He's hungry. I must go to him.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Don't!
MRS WINTERGREEN: But I have to. He needs his mummy. And I don't think I really have a choice, do I?
IANTO JONES: Don't do this.
MRS WINTERGREEN: I've wanted to see him again for such a long time. I never dreamed it would happen. Oh, my beautiful boy. (Singing:) You are my sunshine, my only sunshine...
(Mrs Wintergreen's voice fades away, scream, silence.)
IANTO JONES: She's gone. Where did she go?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: It was too late to save her. She couldn't help herself. Siriath uses the dead against us. We can't say no to them.
IANTO JONES: I can. We've got to stop this.
(Noise like falling debris.)
IANTO JONES: Oh!
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: The House of the Dead is falling into the rift. Not long now.
IANTO JONES: Er - I'm still holding... What is this box exactly? Is it a bomb?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Ianto, open it.
(Moving of little stones.)
IANTO JONES: it's ... it's just pebbles, and ... coal.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Rocks from the hills, coal from the cellar, and a tiny detonator. Just enough to make a lot of dust.
IANTO JONES: Dust?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: All of Wales is a giant battery of stored rift energy. Cardiff Council thinks it's radon but something far richer is held in these stones. It's harmless, unless you release it as one world falls into another.
IANTO JONES: That how you going to destroy Siriath.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: (laugh.) The moment she reaches this world, I'm going to detonate the energy stored in that package. It'll wipe out Siriath, and seal the rift for ever. "In these stones horizons sing."
IANTO JONES: Seal the rift?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Its time has come.
MR JONES: (Cough, echoed:) Oh, hello. Hope I'm not interrupting?
IANTO JONES: Not now, Dad.
MR JONES: (echoed:) I've only popped in for a word. You must be Jack. I've heard so much about you. Not from Ianto. He was always too busy.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: From Siriath? I wouldn't trust her.
MR JONES: (echoed:) No, I've heard about you from those people you've sent to the land of the dead. All the people you've killed.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: That's enough.
MR JONES: (echoed:) There 's a lot of people there, can't wait so see you again, Captain. But I'm here for my son.
IANTO JONES: Really.
MR JONES: (echoed:) Ianto, listen to me, just this once, eh? Consider what you hold in your hands.
IANTO JONES: The world's last chance.
MR JONES: (echoed:) No, no, no, you've got it all wrong. It's the key to the land of the dead. You'll seal us all away forever. Do you want that, son? If not for me, for your mum.
IANTO JONES: Don't! I'm sorry. We can't let that creature escape.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Whatever the price.
MR JONES: (echoed:) Really, Jack? What if I told you that you can take Ianto and leave. Turn around and go.
IANTO JONES: He won't, Dad.
MR JONES: (echoed:) Oh! You know what your problem is, son? You always think you know best. No, I'm not asking you. I'm asking Jack. What do you think?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Turn around and walk out of here?
IANTO JONES: Jack, we can't.
MR JONES: (echoed:) Never gave me a chance when I was living and breathing, and you won't now that I dead.
IANTO JONES: Dad, I'm sorry, you're not real, you're just a ghost. What should I believe a word you say?
MR JONES: (echoed:) I never could give you what you wanted, but I can give Jack something very special indeed. Can't I, Jack?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Mr Jones, you should be proud of your son. There's no-one I'd rather have by my side when I defeat Siriath.
IANTO JONES: Thanks, Jack.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Mm.
MR JONES: (echoed:) My boy's quite special to you, isn't he? Oh, he won't take up any more of your precious time. She will win. Jack, you knew who you'd find if you came to the House of the Dead, didn't you?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Yes. Just go.
MR JONES: (echoed:) I can't believe that you're going to let him die. Again. Goodbye, Ianto.
IANTO JONES: Jack? Who's dead?
(CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS sighs.)
IANTO JONES: Who does he mean?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: The person I knew I'd find if I came here to the last night of the House of the Dead. Ianto Jones.
IANTO JONES: Jack? What?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Ianto, six months ago, you died in my arms. You're a ghost.
IANTO JONES: No.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: I came looking for you. I couldn't resist it.
IANTO JONES: I'm dead?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: You were here waiting for me when I walked in. Ianto Jones, never late.
IANTO JONES: But, I feel ... real. I'm not a ghost. I had porridge this morning. Didn't I? Jack? I can't remember.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: I didn't think you'd be so real. I ... I had hoped for less.
IANTO JONES: Thanks.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: No, you don't understand. I thought it would just look like you.
IANTO JONES: It!
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: I could have coped with that. I didn't dream it would actually be you. Siriath used my grief and she reached into Time. She recreated you, Ianto, and I ... Oh ... I can't bear to look at you.
IANTO JONES: You can't ...! Jack?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Sorry, Ianto, I - I'm sorry, I...
IANTO JONES: Don't touch me! Don't!
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Okay.
IANTO JONES: So ... how did I die?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: It was all over so quickly.
IANTO JONES: Not an answer. Was it your fault?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: You were one of the first victims of an alien plague. (Laugh.) You were so brave. You died saving the world.
IANTO JONES: Well, you'd think I'd remember that. But I don't. Did I get a funeral?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: I don't know. I wasn't here.
IANTO JONES: What?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: I had to leave. I am sorry.
IANTO JONES: You couldn't leave me rest in peace. You've done this to me. Dragged me back just to say goodbye. This ... this isn't about closing the rift, destroying that creature or even your bloody stones! It's not even about me. This ... this is all about you, Jack.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Ianto, this isn't how I planned it.
IANTO JONES: What were you hoping for? That I'd say a few nice words, that I'd be grateful?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: I just wanted to see you one more time. that's all. It's ... it's why I came here.
IANTO JONES: Well, that's lovely.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Ianto, all the people I've lost. Don't you understand? The only one I wanted to see was you!
IANTO JONES: Thanks. At least, you didn't forget me.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: How could I? I may be immortal, but I don't forget. I lose everyone, but I don't forget any of you. I work so hard to remember.
IANTO JONES: You make it sound like charity work.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Don't say that, never say that!
IANTO JONES: Jack? I didn't think the last thing I'd ever say to you would be this. J-just go away, please. This is horrible.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: I had to see you again. You have no idea what it felt like coming back to life and knowing the world was empty, because you'd gone. No matter how many times I die, I always wake up alone.
IANTO JONES: I didn't ask to come back.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Neither did I! Hah ... you and me, Ianto Jones, together again at the end. How it should be. In a few seconds, Siriath will rise, I'll trigger this device destroying her and sealing the rift forever.
IANTO JONES: You're not planning on coming back, are you?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: No. It'll be a pretty big bang.
IANTO JONES: You can't die.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Next best thing. Eternal oblivion, lost in the space between worlds forever - and come on, it's quite a way to go. Huh! I think I'd lived long enough. I've seen you once more, what else it's there?
IANTO JONES: Well, we could just go.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: What?
IANTO JONES: My dad said we could both leave together.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: (laughs.) Never. You're kidding, right? You mean leave here?
IANTO JONES: Why not try it? The rift, ancient evil, magic pebbles ... just for once, let's someone else deal with it.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Can we do that?
IANTO JONES: I'm real, am I?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Well ... it'll never work. We cross that door, we will be back in the real world. What if you vanish? What ... what'll happen?
IANTO JONES: That's no reason for not trying. Seems a shame you know, to get me back only to lose me again. A touch careless.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: True. Siriath, the last remnant of a dead universe. Ah, she's not so special. But there's only one Ianto Jones.
IANTO JONES: And there's only ever been one Captain Jack Harkness.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Hah! Huh! Oh, screw it! Worth a try. Let's leave the device here for Siriath.
(Debris falling.)
IANTO JONES: This whole place is falling into the rift.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: (laugh.) We'd better go now.
IANTO JONES: Cross that doorway and there's no coming back.
(Thunder rumbling, rain falling.)
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Why would I want to? I've got you back, Ianto. Let's do this. Come on Ianto. Be brave.
IANTO JONES: Always.
(Walking forwards.)
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Welcome back to the land of the living, Ianto Jones. Has it worked? Are you real again? Ianto? ... Ianto?
IANTO JONES: I'm not coming.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Ianto, no, come on. There's still time.
IANTO JONES: No, Jack. You know I can't. My place is here, in the House of the Dead, with your device, saving the world.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Don't do this!
IANTO JONES: Sorry, Jack. Someone's got to destroy the rift.
(Debris falls.)
IANTO JONES: It's quite a way to go.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: No! Not like this! Don't leave me like this!
IANTO JONES: Got to go!
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Ianto, no! I never said it properly before.
IANTO JONES: It doesn't need saying.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Yes, it does. Ianto Jones, I love you.
IANTO JONES: And I love you too, Jack. Right then, let's get a move on. Goodbye, Jack!
(Explosion, debris falling, silence.)

(Roadside, cars passing. A woman, a late arrival to the party:)
THE LATE ARRIVAL: Excuse me, excuse me?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Sorry?
THE LATE ARRIVAL: Hello, I'm looking for the ghosts.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: What?
THE LATE ARRIVAL: At the House of the Dead? The most haunted pub in Wales, it is. They're holding a sťance tonight, I hope I'm not late.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: It's closed.
THE LATE ARRIVAL: Closed?
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: You missed the ghosts. The House of the Dead is gone.
THE LATE ARRIVAL: But it's on my sat-nav. It's around here somewhere, I know it is.
CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS: Goodbye, Ianto.

(Closing Torchwood theme, composed by Murray Gold.)
ANNOUNCER: In The House Of The Dead, Captain Jack Harkness was played by John Barrowman, Gwen Cooper by Eve Myles, and Ianto Jones by Gareth David Lloyd. Mrs Wintergreen was played by Ros Ayres, Barry by Bradley Freegard, and Mr Jones by John Francis Harries. Helen was played by Lucy Davis, Ness by Moira Quirk, and The Late Arrival by Shelley Rees. The House Of The Dead, part of Torchwood - The Lost Files, was written by James Goss. It was a BBC Cymru Wales production Directed by Kate McAll.

Transcribed by David Tait

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