| [Fair Haven - street]
back in Idyllic Olde Ireland. Paris is driving a very early horse-less
carriage, and honking the horn constantly. He scares the sheep.)
PARIS: Get out of the way! Sorry.
SEAMUS: Tommy-me-boy, you're a little fast there.
(Paris crashes into barrels, knocking off a front wheel.)
SEAMUS: Did you hurt yourself, Tommy boy?
PARIS: I think I zigged when I should have zagged.
SEAMUS: Well, maybe you ought to stick to a horse and carriage. Still,
she's a beauty. The world must be treating you well to afford such a
PARIS: Er, just dipping into my inheritance.
SEAMUS: Oh, come into some money, did you? So who's passed on?
PARIS: Er, my grandfather on my mother's side. An aristocrat, God rest
SEAMUS: Sounds like he was a fine man. I'd drink a toast to him, if I
had a shilling to me name.
PARIS: Here. It's on me.
SEAMUS: It'll take three pints to do a proper job, Tommy boy, and this
isn't even enough for two.
PARIS: There, that's all I've got.
SEAMUS: You're a generous man. Care to join me at Sullivan's?
PARIS: Oh, I wish I could, but I'm on my way to Castle O'Dell.
SEAMUS: Night's coming. And they say when the sun goes down the Queen
of the Faerie folk reclaims the castle.
PARIS: I'll give her your regards.
SEAMUS: Don't say I didn't warn you.
(Seamus walks away, then turns when he hears Paris speak.)
PARIS: Computer, replace damaged tyre.
SEAMUS: Saints preserve us.
(Seamus is downing a large drink, with a crowd gathered around him.)
I thought I would die from the shock of it.
MICHAEL: Now, Seamus, you're not a great one for telling things the way
SEAMUS: I'll admit I've been known to add a little colour to stories
from time to time to liven things up. But with God as my witness, I saw
Tom Paris using unnatural powers to fix that wheel of his.
MICHAEL: Tommy boy practicing unholy magic. Next thing you'll be
telling me is, you want to pay for your own drinks.
SEAMUS: Make fun if you like, but he was heading up to Castle O'Dell
only an hour before dark.
FITZGERALD: Oh, leave it alone, Seamus. Can't one day go by without you
making an ass of yourself?
MILO: But that Tom Paris is an odd one. Coming and going through town
as if he built the place.
SEAMUS: That's right. And where does he go?
MILO: Oh, he's a shifty one. And for that matter, so are his friends.
MICHAEL: If you're talking about Katie O'Clare, you'd better watch your
MILO: Well, you know what they say, Sullivan. Birds of a feather.
MICHAEL: They also say superstition is the religion of fools.
SEAMUS: Killmannin, 1846.
SEAMUS: Old Patsy down in County Meath spoke of a band of spirit folk
who came to Killmannin in '46.
MICHAEL: Killmannin. Did you ever hear of it, Doc?
FITZGERALD: No, this is the first.
MILO: Ah, you won't find it on any map. Not any more.
SEAMUS: It was a town mot much different than Fair Haven. That is,
until this group of strangers arrived. The townsfolk welcomed them with
open arms. After all, a stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet. But they regretted their hospitality soon enough.
MILO: The cows stopped giving milk. The potatoes grew rotten in the
(The Irish Famine, which drove so many people to emigrate, lasted from 1845 to 1852.)
SEAMUS: Then people started to go missing.
FITZGERALD: Oh, go on.
SEAMUS: It's true.
MICHAEL: What happened to them?
MILO: They were taken to the Other World.
SEAMUS: When winter came, and the nights grew longer, the entire town
vanished. Every post, every nail, poof, into thin air, never to be seen
FITZGERALD: Are you suggesting that Fair Haven's going to go the way
Killmannin, just because we have a few new folks in town?
SEAMUS: I'm suggesting you keep an eye on Tom Paris and his cohorts.
Not to mention that lady friend of yours.
MICHAEL: So Katie's some kind of goblin now, is that it?
SEAMUS: She's certainly cast a spell on you.
MILO: Well, if you ask me
JANEWAY: Am I interrupting?
MICHAEL: Aw, just some nonsense. Seamus is up to his old tricks again.
MAGGIE: Good day to you, Katie.
MICHAEL: Oh, it's good to see you. What'll it be?
JANEWAY: The usual, please.
MICHAEL: Well, one cup of tea coming right up. Did you snatch any
children on the way into town, Katie?
MICHAEL: Never mind. I missed your smile. What have you been doing with
JANEWAY: Nothing terribly exciting. Just helping my aunt and uncle out
on the farm. They're not as spry as they used to be. Although, they've
got a goat that could argue Mossie Donegan's talking pig under the
MICHAEL: You'll have to bring him into the bar the next time you're up.
We'll arrange a debate.
JANEWAY: I'll see that I do. I hear they opened a nickelodeon in
Dooleen. I thought it might be nice to go to a show.
MICHAEL: I've got to tend the bar. I wish you'd let me know you were
coming, I would have made arrangements.
JANEWAY: That's all right. We can go some other time.
MICHAEL: No, I mean, you've already made the trip. It'd be a shame if
you had to leave.
JANEWAY: Well, I could be convinced to stay, if you'd be up to a game
of Rings. Let's go.
Computer, one dozen Broadway lilies.
PARIS: Something tells me that's not lunch.
KIM: I already ate.
PARIS: Ah. Who are they for?
KIM: A friend.
PARIS: Oh, and this friend wouldn't happen to be a lovely Irish lass,
now, would she?
KIM: Aren't you due on the bridge?
PARIS: Ah, you'd better watch yourself, Harry. These country girls
aren't as simple as you think. Maggie O'Halloran could be a little more
than you can handle.
KIM: Heard about your little traffic accident.
PARIS: That was a clutch malfunction. It wasn't my fault.
TORRES: If you ask me, that whole programme is an accident waiting to
happen. You've been running Fair Haven around the clock. Just
yesterday, I had to replace three holo-emitters.
PARIS: I ran a full diagnostic this morning. Everything is fine.
TORRES: Whatever you say. But, when your quaint little seaside town
starts to depolarise, don't come running to me.
KIM: If you'll excuse me, I'm late for a moonlight stroll.
PARIS: Are you sure you don't need a chaperone?
KIM: Not with your driving record.
PARIS: I think I know just what'll make his date just a little more
TORRES: Just don't blow out any more holo-emitters.
Haven - street at night]
(Paris is dodging in and out of the shadows, following Kim and Maggie. He also has two people following him.)
What are we doing out here, Seamus? Skulking about in the dark, spying
SEAMUS: What's the matter, Milo? You got a case of the willies?
MILO: Well, what if you're right? What if this Tom Paris is some kind
of demon? If we're caught, he'll cast a spell on us.
SEAMUS: Then stop your squawking, or he'll catch us for sure. Come on,
man. He's getting away.
KIM: A captain is only as good as his crew.
MAGGIE: It must be lonely out there on the sea with only the stars to
KIM: Sometimes, during the night watch, with the timbers creaking and
the dark water stretching out as far as the eye can see, you can
believe you're the only man in the world.
MAGGIE: Maybe you should think about settling down on dry land.
KIM: Oh, believe me, I do. As often as I think of you.
MAGGIE: Can I ask you something, Harry?
KIM: Of course.
MAGGIE: Would you like to hold my hand?
KIM: If you promise to hold mine back.
SEAMUS: Look. He's got some sort of contraption in his hand.
MILO: Maybe we're going about this the wrong way. We should go down
to Saint Mary's and tell Father Mulligan the whole story.
SEAMUS: He's not going to listen to talk of the supernatural.
MILO: Och, if you fill his collection box, he'll listen to anything.
SEAMUS: That's true.
KIM: I thought you were promised to Ray Euan.
MAGGIE: Not anymore. Can I ask you something else, Harry?
MAGGIE: Would you like to kiss me?
KIM: Is that a trick question?
(Maggie changes into a cow.)
MILO: Holy mother of God!
(Paris is laughing.)
KIM: Tom! Don't you have anything better to do?
PARIS: Boy, she really turned on you.
KIM: Ha, ha, very funny. I could have been trampled.
PARIS: Relax, the holodeck safeties are on. There's nothing to worry
KIM: All right, all right. You've had your fun. Now change her back.
CHAKOTAY [OC]: Chakotay to Paris and Kim. Report to the bridge.
PARIS: On our way.
KIM: Hey, what about Maggie?
PARIS: She'll be fine. Let her graze.
SEAMUS: Let her graze. Did you hear that?
Mary's - Sunday morning mass]
EMH: Please be seated. I recently heard a tale of two farmers, who
shall remain nameless for the sake of this sermon. It seems one broke
the other's plough and refused to replace it. His come-uppance was
served to him not by the hand of God, but by the other farmer, in the
form of a clogged irrigation ditch. Now, do you think their
disagreement stopped there? Of course not. They go on, just as the
heathen did of old. After all, one spiteful act deserves another,
right? Wrong! What these sinners have forgotten is that they are
GRACE: He's in love with the sound of his own voice.
EMH: Whether we are man or woman, parent or child, flesh and blood, or
photons and force fields. It has been said.
GRACE: On the other hand, perhaps he's been nipping at the sacramental
EMH: And as such, our community is everything. It is our world, and we
are a part of it, just as a branch is part of a tree. Do you see
branches tearing leaves off one another? No! Do you see roots hoarding
water from the trunk? No! Do you see
MILO: Easy, Maggie. Whoa. Easy now.
EMH: Did you make a wrong turn on your way to the milking shed?
SEAMUS: Weren't nothing like that at all, Father. Something terrible's
EMH: What now?
MILO: This was Maggie O'Halloran. The spirits have turned her into a
GRACE: Maggie O'Halloran's been eaten by a cow?.
EMH: Did you see these spirits?
SEAMUS: That we did. Tom Paris, and Harry Kim.
EMH: I hate to disappoint you, but it sounds as though you've been the
victim of a practical joke. Tom Paris is a known prankster.
MILO: Oh, it was unholy magic, I tell you. We saw it with our own eyes.
EMH: When did this alleged transformation take place?
SEAMUS: Last night.
EMH: Well then, that settles it. This couldn't possibly be Maggie
O'Halloran. I saw Maggie this morning on my way into church. She was at
her cart tending her flowers. She's probably there now. Well, I, I
think that's enough excitement for one morning. This mass is over. Go
in peace. Er, leave the cow.
MILO: Oh, all right, Father. Excuse us, Maggie.
SEAMUS: Take care, Maggie.
(Maggie reappears by her flower cart just before Seamus and Milo come around the corner.)
MAGGIE: Well, good morning, boys.
SEAMUS: Is everything all right? You're looking a little out of sorts
MAGGIE: Yes. Well, I must admit I'm not quite myself today.
(They help her to sit on a nearby bench.)
MAGGIE: Well, this is going to sound very odd but I feel like I just
woke up from the strangest dream, and I don't remember going to sleep.
MILO: You're right, that does sound odd.
SEAMUS: Do you remember anything about last night?
MAGGIE: Well, I was out with Harry Kim. He chatted me up at the Ox and
Lamb, and we were off on a walk before I knew it.
MILO: What did you do
on your walk?
MAGGIE: We talked. What kind of a girl do you think I am?
SEAMUS: Now, Maggie, we weren't implying anything.
SEAMUS: Do you recall anything else about the evening?
MILO: Er, did anything out of the ordinary happen? Anything at all?
MAGGIE: I don't remember.
SEAMUS: Well, tell us about the dream, then.
MAGGIE: Oh, it was most unpleasant. I was walking around town with
nothing but a bell around my neck. Well, somehow I wound up in church.
Everyone was staring at me. You were there, Seamus, and you too, Milo.
The next thing I knew, I was tending my flowers just as you boys walked
SEAMUS: Well, that's quite a story, Maggie.
MILO: Can we get a quick one?
SEAMUS: Maybe just a wee taste.
So, I said to young Harry, I'm not one for rainy days and grey skies.
As soon as the words were out of my mouth, he called up the spirits to
do his bidding. A second later, there wasn't a cloud in the sky.
EDITH: I was up near Ballahick Farm with little Mary. She was playing
near the well. Somehow, she lost her footing and fell in. I was so
frightened I didn't know what to do. So I ran to the Colbys to get some
help. But when we returned, there was Mary in the meadow talking with
Katie O'Clare. There wasn't a scratch on her. Katie said I must've been
mistaken when I saw her fall. There was no mistake.
GRACE: I saw something strange, too. Well, I hesitated to say anything
for fear you'd think me mad. But after listening to your stories today
I feel you've a right to know.
MILO: Well? Speak up.
GRACE: Last Sunday, after his sermon, I saw Father Mulligan vanish into
MILO: He's one of them, right enough. Father Mulligan, Tommy boy, Katie
and the rest. They're spirit folk!
MAGGIE: Well, what about that Neelix fellow who runs the Ox and Lamb?
Well, if he doesn't look like a leprechaun I don't know who does.
SEAMUS: They're all probably up at Castle O'Dell, conspiring against
MICHAEL: Now, that's enough! I can't deny there's been some unusual
goings on, but what are you proposing? That we run Katie and her
friends out of town? Or maybe we should line them up in front of a
firing squad. Is that what you want? These people have been our
neighbours. We've become friends. Let's not forget that.
SEAMUS: Well, we can't just sit here and do nothing while they take
over Fair Haven.
MICHAEL: I'm not saying we do nothing, but let's go about this like
MILO: What do you suggest, we sit them down and discuss it over tea?
- after hours]
You're looking lovelier than ever, Katie.
JANEWAY: Thank you.
(He hands her a small packet.)
MICHAEL: Open it.
JANEWAY: The Faerie Queene by Edmund Spenser. Thank you, Michael.
MICHAEL: It's the longest poem in the English language, and the first
to use a nine line stanza.
JANEWAY: I'll start reading it tonight. I love epic poetry.
MICHAEL: Really? I didn't know that. It seems as if there's a lot of
things I don't know about you. I thought you'd want to know there's
been some talk about you and your friends. Strange things have been
happening around town. Folk are saying you're to blame.
JANEWAY: What kind of strange things?
MICHAEL: People using unholy magic. Vanishing into thin air. Changing
JANEWAY: By any chance would all this have anything to do with your
MICHAEL: As a matter of fact.
JANEWAY: Don't tell me. They say I'm the Faerie Queene.
MICHAEL: Frankly, they could tell me you're the devil himself and I
JANEWAY: I'll try not to take that personally.
MICHAEL: The sad truth of the matter is, I don't know who you are.
JANEWAY: What do you mean?
MICHAEL: You've been lying to me, Katie. I've been doing some checking
with friends of mine in County Clare. Seems nobody's heard of you
JANEWAY: It's a big county.
MICHAEL: And I've got a lot of friends. You've been evasive from the
day we met. I was a fool not to see it. Where do you go when you leave
here? There've been times I wanted to talk to you, tell you about my
day, about a book I'd read, just to say hello. But I can't, because I
don't know where to find you. What're you hiding, Katie?
JANEWAY: I'll admit I have misled you about some things, but never
about anything important. And I wasn't lying when I said I care about
MICHAEL: I wish I could believe that.
JANEWAY: You can. I didn't want to deceive you, but under the
circumstances I had no choice.
MICHAEL: What circumstances?
JANEWAY: Michael, there are things about me you may not be able to
MICHAEL: Try me. Who are you, Katie? Where are you really from? The
JANEWAY: Computer, end programme.
How did he know? Those are questions no holodeck character should be
asking. What exactly did you do to that programme?
PARIS: Well, I, I just added a few bells and whistles to make the
characters more realistic. Nothing too fancy.
JANEWAY: Well, something's gone wrong. The people of Fair Haven aren't
simple country folk anymore.
TORRES: It looks like we've worn out our welcome.
PARIS: It's the first time we've tried running a holodeck programme
non-stop. We're lucky it lasted this long.
TORRES: There are damaged subroutines in all of the character files.
PARIS: So much for my open door policy.
JANEWAY: Shut it down. And repair the damaged systems.
I recall, everything was fine until someone started turning people into
PARIS: Computer, display Fair Haven character Michael Sullivan.
(Michael fritzes before solidifying then looking around.)
MICHAEL: Where am I? Where's Katie?
PARIS: He shouldn't be aware that he's in the lab.
KIM: I've isolated the damaged subroutines.
MICHAEL: I said, where the hell am I?
PARIS: It's all right, Michael. Take it easy.
MICHAEL: What is this place?
PARIS: Try to relax.
MICHAEL: If someone doesn't tell me where I am, I'm going to start
KIM: His perceptual filters are malfunctioning.
MICHAEL: What're you saying? What's a perceptual filter?
PARIS: It's, it's okay. We're trying to help you.
KIM: There. Look at these. Those are the algorithms designed to keep
him oblivious to anything outside the programme's parameters.
PARIS: They're offline .
KIM: Give me a minute. That should do it.
PARIS: How are you feeling, Michael?
MICHAEL: Never better. Harry, Liam's been looking for you. You're the
only man in four counties to beat him at arm wrestling. He wants a
KIM: Tell him he's got one.
MICHAEL: I'll do that.
PARIS: Ha. Well, that was easy enough.
KIM: Yeah. Unfortunately it looks like all the other characters have
the same malfunction.
PARIS: Don't tell me we're going to have to go through every one of
KIM: If we reactivate the programme, use the primary control port in
Sullivan's pub, we could reset all the perceptual filters with a single
(Michael is listening carefully.)
PARIS: I guess we'll be seeing you later.
MICHAEL: Looking forward to it.
PARIS: Computer, resume Fair Haven programme in Holodeck one, and
transfer Michael Sullivan back to his bar.
(Michael runs out of his bar and accosts a boy playing with a stick and hoop.)
MICHAEL: Come here. Fetch Doc Fitzgerald. Tell him to meet me in the
church. Go on. Hurry, lad!
We thought we'd reset his perceptual filters until we took a closer
look at his subroutines. Turns out he was just playing along.
JANEWAY: Never underestimate an Irish hologram.
KIM: We'll have to reprogramme Michael when we do the others.
JANEWAY: Let's just hope he didn't share the experience with too many
KIM: Got it. These resequenced algorithms should do the trick.
JANEWAY: Good luck.
(Paris and Kim leave.)
JANEWAY: What the hell was I thinking?
CHAKOTAY: A minor malfunction.
JANEWAY: Well, that's the problem. I've got a boyfriend who
CHAKOTAY: Tom and Harry'll fix him.
JANEWAY: And if they can't?
CHAKOTAY: One piece of advice you've always given me. Tell the truth.
JANEWAY: Hate to break the news to you, Michael, but I'm a starship
captain and you're a three hundred deciwatt holodeck programme. I
couldn't do it.
CHAKOTAY: In that case, you'll have to get creative.
I'm not a superstitious man, Doc, but I've been seeing things I can't
FITZGERALD: You're not the only one. At first I thought we had an
epidemic on our hands, but this is no fever.
MICHAEL: No, it's not. Last night I was talking to Katie, and the next
thing I knew I was being spirited away to God knows where.
FITZGERALD: They took you? Where?
MICHAEL: Maybe it was the Other World. I don't know. Tom Paris was
there. Young Harry, too.
FITZGERALD: What did they want with you?
MICHAEL: I'm not sure. They were talking about me like I wasn't there.
Saying things about Fair Haven. That we knew too much about them.
FITZGERALD: Oh, Lord.
MICHAEL: And that's not all. They were saying something about coming to
the pub tonight to change the town somehow.
FITZGERALD: What does that mean?
MICHAEL: I'm damned if I know.
FITZGERALD: How did you get away?
MICHAEL: With all the talk about us knowing too much about them, I
figured that if I pretended nothing was out of the ordinary, they might
let me go. And sure enough, that's exactly what they did.
FITZGERALD: I wonder if this is how things started in Killmannin back
MICHAEL: I'm not sure what they have in mind, but we'd better be
(Paris and Kim enter in period costume, and carrying lanterns.)
We're in luck. Nobody's home.
(They go to the holodeck control panel by the bar. Grace watches them through the window.)
(The rest of the townsfolk are gathered.)
If we're going to fight them, we've got to use the right ammunition!
Biddy Ramsey gave me this before she passed on. She knew a thing or two
about faerie magic and how to fight it. Everything she learned, she
learned from this book.
MICHAEL: I doubt if it says anything about using rifles.
MILO: You'd be surprised how many things a bullet will stop.
MICHAEL: I don't like this one bit. Guns, Seamus.
FITZGERALD: Under normal circumstances, I'd agree with you, Michael,
but these aren't normal circumstances.
MILO: Maybe you'd still like us to be acting civilised. Where did that
get you before? A ticket to the Other World, that's what.
FITZGERALD: We don't know what the spirit folk have in store for us.
MICHAEL: That's just it. We don't know much about anything, do we? And
we've got Milo here acting like a holy war has been declared.
SEAMUS: Relax, Sullivan. The rifles are only a last resort. Besides,
we've got incantations, which are more lethal to spirit folk than any
weapons forged by man. That's how we're going to force them back into
their realm. And we've got red twine to stop them from changing shape.
(While the men stand around and talk, the women are busy.)
MILO: And don't forget about the ash berries.
SEAMUS: Ash berries, right. That's how you keep them from using their
powers against you. They've been walking amongst us for weeks now,
pretending to be our friends, lying to us, making mischief. What's
MILO: Yes, what is next, Seamus?
SEAMUS: I for one am not going to stand by and let them run roughshod
over our town.
SEAMUS: We can't rest until we've driven every one of them out.
(Grace runs in.)
GRACE: They're here! Tom Paris and Harry Kim. They're in Sullivan's
SEAMUS: Who's with me?
(The mob rush in, shouting, and put a net over Paris and Kim.)
Seamus, let us explain. You're making a mistake.
MILO: The only mistake we made was letting you into Fair Haven. What's
SEAMUS: Shoot it!
PARIS: No, wait, wait. That's a delicate piece of technology.
(Milo shoots the panel.)
COMPUTER: Warning. Holodeck controls and safety protocols are offline.
MILO: A voice from the Other World.
COMPUTER: Emergency overrides are malfunctioning.
(It gets shot again.)
PARIS: Computer, freeze programme!
COMPUTER: Sixty two percent compliance.
(The net disappears, and a lot of the characters are frozen.)
SEAMUS: They're getting away! After them!
(The arch flickers briefly then disappears again. The mob catches them, and drags them away.)
CHAKOTAY: Two shots directly at the primary controls. We can't
deactivate the programme
or get the safeties back online.
JANEWAY: Where are Tom and Harry now?
TORRES: Saint Mary's. Looks like some of your parishioners are holding
NEELIX: We can't blame them for being frightened. They must think we're
some kind of sorcerers.
CHAKOTAY: Well, we could use a little magic right now, because that's about the
only way we're going to get our people back.
CHAKOTAY: Too many stray photons. We can't get a lock.
SEVEN: We should enter the holodeck with a security team and take them
TUVOK: Need I remind you the holo-characters have weapons as well. We'd
be risking armed conflict.
TORRES: Well, then let's just pull the plug. Cut power to the
NEELIX: That would purge the programme from our database.
NEELIX: But we'd lose Fair Haven and all its people.
SEVEN: They're not people. They're holograms.
JANEWAY: And they weren't programmed to be violent. I don't believe
they'd harm anyone.
TORRES: You can't be certain.
JANEWAY: Well, I am certain, and I'd like to find a less drastic
TORRES: With all due respect, Captain. Michael can be reprogrammed. Tom
and Harry can't.
JANEWAY: One problem at a time, B'Elanna. The people of Fair Haven may
not be real, but our feelings toward them are. I won't destroy these
relationships if we can find another way. Now, if we could attach
transport enhancers onto Tom and Harry, would that be enough to cut
through the interference?
TUVOK: I believe so.
JANEWAY: Good. Then we just need to get someone close to them. Doctor.
EMH: A few words of inspiration should get me within reach.
SEVEN: I suggest you use your mobile emitter. It'll isolate you from
JANEWAY: Good idea. Stand by to cut power to the hologrid in case
things get out of hand.
TORRES: Aye, Captain.
JANEWAY: In the meantime, I believe your flock needs tending.
(Seamus is up in the pulpit reading from
Biddie's book on incantations whilst a salt circle is drawn around the
chairs Paris and Kim are tied to. Other men are flicking holy water at
Ex labis caelestium sanctorum super ad aures atrorum larvarum
mentientium. From the lips of the heavenly saints above, to the ears of
the dark and lying spirits, may your spectral forms be cast back to the
Other World. Back to the Other
World! There must be some trick to these incantations.
(Milo puts a tool box on the pulpit edge. It contains a small PADD.)
MILO: What do you make of this, Seamus?
KIM: We should just tell them the truth.
PARIS: Oh, good idea, Harry. Do you want to tell them they're only
holograms, or should I?
SEAMUS: I see you left your box of charms at Sullivan's. I believe this
is the talisman you used on Maggie. Maybe we should turn them into
PARIS: No, no, there's been a misunderstanding. We are not spirit folk.
MILO: I think we've heard enough of your lies, Tommy boy. I say we tie
them up to the lamp post in the square and show them how spirit folk
were dealt with in the olden days.
MICHAEL: Leave them alone. It's bad enough you've got them trussed up
like Christmas turkeys. There's no need for foolish threats.
MILO: You'd better watch whose side you're on. You're not above
MICHAEL: Oh, so we're going to start turning on one another now, is
MILO: We are, if you're choosing them over your own people.
EMH: Sinners! Sinners, all of you. You have the audacity to turn a
house of worship into a prison? This is where we gather to pledge our
love for our fellow man, not condemnation. You should all be ashamed of
SEAMUS: Quite a rousing sermon, Father, but I'm afraid you're not going
to find too many takers tonight.
MILO: Not after your little vanishing act. It seems Grace Declan saw
you disappear into thin air on Sunday.
SEAMUS: Aye, I'd say that sounds a wee bit unholy. You're in league with
them, aren't you? Tie him up with the others.
EMH: Listen to yourselves. You're letting confusion and fear get the
best of you. Doctor to Janeway.
SEAMUS: What's this?
(The transport enhancers.)
EMH: Fire and brimstone don't seem to be working.
MILO: Look here, Seamus. Another talisman.
(The mobile emitter.)
SEAMUS: Quick, get it off of him.
Beam him out of there.
TUVOK: His program's been disengaged from the mobile emitter.
And what were you planning on doing with these?
KIM: Those are the devices that will allow us to leave. You just put
them on our coats and we'll be on our way.
MILO: You'd like us to believe that, wouldn't you.
SEAMUS: Something tells me these are spirit charms. We pin them on you
and God knows what powers you'll have.
MICHAEL: This is no charm. It's some kind of a machine.
MILO: It doesn't matter. They won't be telling us the truth about any
SEAMUS: Oh, they'll tell us the truth, all right. There's more than one
way to pluck the wings off a pixie. We'll induce a trance. Give me
Biddy Ramsey's spoon. Keep your eyes on the silverware, Father.
(Seamus swings the spoon in front of him.)
EMH: I hope you know this is blasphemous. Oh, this is ridiculous. I
can't be hypnotised.
(He falls under the spell of the swinging silver spoon.)
I can't isolate the Doctor's programme.
JANEWAY: He's been integrated into the Fair Haven matrix. He's
Tell us the words. How do we banish the spirit folk to the Other World?
EMH: There is no Other World. Only Voyager.
EMH: Federation starship, Intrepid class, registry number NCC74656.
MICHAEL: You're from some sort of vessel?
EMH: Mmm hmm.
SEAMUS: He's talking gibberish.
MICHAEL: Maybe he's not. This ship of yours. Is that where you took me?
SEAMUS: Look here. It says if you can get a spirit to reveal his true
name you'll render yourself impervious to his charms.
MILO: What is your true name?
EMH: I haven't decided on one yet.
MICHAEL: Katie's on that ship, isn't she? Tell me where to find her so
I can get to the bottom of this.
PARIS: I'm sorry, Michael. I can't do that.
MICHAEL: Then I guess I'm asking the wrong person. (to EMH) Tell me how
to get to Voyager.
MILO: What are you doing, Sullivan?
SEAMUS: No man who's gone to the Other World has ever come back.
MICHAEL: I have. How do I get there?
(The EMH slowly turns his head to look at the mobile emitter in Michael's hand.)
Captain, the mobile emitter has been activated.
JANEWAY: Lock onto the signal.
(Michael is beamed to the bridge.)
MICHAEL: I had a cousin went to America. He saw some strange things,
but nothing like this.
JANEWAY: You're not in America. This is a starship. It's called
MICHAEL: Voyager. I know.
TUVOK: Should I transfer him back to the holodeck?
JANEWAY: No. My name isn't Katie O'Clare. It's Kathryn Janeway. Captain
Kathryn Janeway. It's going to be difficult to explain. Maybe it's best
if I just show you.
MICHAEL: You've seen my world. It seems fair that I should have a
chance to see yours.
So, this really is a starship. But how can that be possible?
JANEWAY: Have you ever read The Time Machine, by H. G. Wells?
MICHAEL: Are you telling me you've travelled back through time?
JANEWAY: In a manner of speaking.
(They pass two crewmen.)
MICHAEL: That's Patrick Gibson and his cousin, Frank. They work on the
wharf. They're in my pub every Saturday night for the rings tournament.
JANEWAY: You'll find a lot of familiar faces on Voyager. We've been
visiting your town for months.
JANEWAY: We're explorers.
MICHAEL: I'm not letting you off the hook that easy, Kathryn Janeway.
There must be more interesting places to explore than Fair Haven.
JANEWAY: Can you think of any place you'd rather be?
MICHAEL: I guess that leaves but one question. How long are you
planning on staying?
JANEWAY: Well that depends if we're still welcome.
MICHAEL: My door is always open. But you're the captain of a starship,
I'm a barkeep.
JANEWAY: Just because we're from different worlds doesn't mean we can't
care for each other.
TUVOK [OC]: Tuvok to Janeway.
JANEWAY: Go ahead.
TUVOK [OC]: The situation has escalated.
The townspeople have started to pile kindling at the base of three
[OC]: In the village square.
JANEWAY: Stand by.
Take them outside now.
(Michael and Janeway enter. Milo points his rifle at them.)
MILO: Stay back.
FITZGERALD: What are you doing?
MILO: That might not be Michael Sullivan. A demon could have taken his
MICHAEL: It's me, Milo. I've been to the place they call Voyager, and
I've brought Katie back with me.
JANEWAY: I've come in hopes that we can resolve our differences
MILO: Peacefully? I'm sure that's what you told the people of
MICHAEL: They had nothing to do with what happened in Killmannin, if it
happened at all.
JANEWAY: We're truly sorry for what's happened here. We never meant to
MICHAEL: Seamus, you were right about one thing. They are quite
different from us, but not in so many ways that we can't be friends.
JANEWAY: And we're not spirit folk. Some of our technology may seem
like magic, but I assure you it's not.
MICHAEL: Katie showed me things that are beyond our comprehension. They
have machines that I can't begin to describe, but not once have they
used them against us. Quite the opposite, in fact. Milo, you said you
didn't like the rain and young Harry Kim made it go away. Edith
Mulchaey herself said that Katie O'Clare pulled her daughter from the
well and out of harm's way. These are not the deeds of spirits and
SEAMUS: But they turned Maggie into a cow.
PARIS: That'll never happen again, I swear.
MICHAEL: There, you see? We have his word, and if we can't trust a
man's word in Fair Haven, what can we trust?
JANEWAY: If you want, we'll leave and never bother you again. But we'd
prefer to find some way to keep our friendship alive.
(Janeway takes the mobile emitter from Michael and puts it on the EMH's arm. He comes out of his trance.)
MICHAEL: I, for one, would like to keep playing rings with Harry and
Tom, keep having Neelix's steamed cabbage at the Ox and Lamb, keep
taking walks with Katie. Let's not turn our backs on these good people.
If we do, we're only punishing ourselves. Just because we're from
different worlds doesn't mean we can't care for each other.
If we're going to retain the programme, we can't keep running it around
PARIS: Not until we've repaired these damaged systems.
TORRES: Not ever. We've pushed the limits of holotechnology and they
pushed back. If we try it again, we're just asking for trouble.
JANEWAY: I'm afraid we're going to have to close your open door policy.
PARIS: Yes, ma'am.
TORRES: What about the characters. Should I purge their memories of the
last few days?
JANEWAY: No, leave them.
EMH: They think we're spacemen from the future. It won't exactly be
like old times.
JANEWAY: We learn to accept alien species with new technologies. Let's
hope the people of Fair Haven will learn to accept us. But before we
shut down the programme and begin repairs, what do you say to one more
round at Sullivan's? My treat.
You may be from the moon, Tommy boy, but I've got three shillings that
says I can still whip you at rings.
PARIS: Oh, you're on.
MAGGIE: Hello, Harry.
PARIS: I'll catch up with you later.
SEAMUS: Tommy boy! I've been told there's a pot of gold somewhere in
Glen Abbey. Would you be able to find it with one of those fancy
machines of yours?
PARIS: Just follow the rainbow, Seamus.
SEAMUS: Rainbow, eh?
KIM: I didn't think you'd ever speak to me again.
MAGGIE: Well, I suppose I can forgive and forget. It's not that often
you meet a handsome young man from outer space.
(Janeway gives Michael a packet.)
MICHAEL: What's this, Christmas come early?
JANEWAY: It has for you. Open it.
MICHAEL: A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court, by Mark Twain.
I've read some of his books, but not this one.
JANEWAY: It's about two people from different times who fall in love,
among other things.
MICHAEL: Sounds familiar. Maybe I have read it. Thank you, Katie. Or
Kathryn now, is it?
MICHAEL: They say if you know a spirit's true name that it renders you
impervious against her charm. Do you think there's any truth in that?
JANEWAY: Not a word.
MICHAEL: I'm glad to hear it.